Finally the fourth chapter is here and they get longer and longer. for you to visualize things easier I posted some links to my page, check them out:)

Usual thanks to Burntcore and my buddy C. And everyone who reads my stuff. The title is dedicated an artist that I truly admire.

And one last thing, our beloved Edward is gonna be in the next chapter.

Lady Lazarus


4 Months Ago

I woke up to a very disturbing sun after probably a very short termed sleep, but I wasn't having any quality sleep in a very long time so even that felt good. The sun was so strongly bright that ,I could even see it behind my eyelids. I tried to shut them tighter make the sleep last longer but it sure didn't work . Every good thing has an end said my internal voice about the sleep I had and I opened my eyelids to a fully orange room. Bedsheets, walls, furniture, all of them were the same tone of orange. It scared me first it was almost red but then I saw it's only sun that painted the room, originally it's all white. What a boring choice of decoration. As I thought about it a few clouds started filling the sky.

I watched the sun rise on the horizon for a couple of seconds ,over the bumps of my breasts and paint the clouds orange too. That cushion is really low, wait there is no cushion. Oh, come on, you don't even have an extra cushion for ladies came over? And you wonder why they leave. And I noticed there's nothing on my breasts to cover them. For a momentarily attempt I tried to cover them with my hands then I gave up. If I was naked in that moment and that someone beside me should've seen me like this already. I decided to get up from the bed but I gave up on the halfway to sit first , because my head was seriously dizzy. I held it between my hands on my temples for a second or two. When I lifted my head I could see the path that my clothes created. What a cliché! The first step was my lace panties, and on the second step there laid my bra, and it went on with my ivory dress, a few bangles and on the last step there were my shoes. My gracious black crocodile booties. And that dress, I loved that one but it seems it couldn't survive all the wine drinking from the bottle, it had a red stain almost the size of my hand on it. It didn't take me long to locate the bottle, it was on the drawer next to the bed. I shook the bottle to check if there's any left because it's the best medicine for a hangover. Nope, there wasn't any left. OK I can live with that headache. I had worse.

Then he breathed deeply almost shaking the bed , it scared the shit out of me. I turned my head to look and try to remember what his name was. I didn't succeed. I watched his huge muscular back for a second or two then he turned his front to me. It means he can wake up every minute.

One of my observations about men, they don't move in their sleep when they're really drunk , and when they start moving it means they're about to wake up. As I get every one of them drunk before taking them to bed I always take this as my cue to leave.

I get up to gather my clothes from the steps and wear them while going forward. When I'm fully clothed with even all the accessories I start to check the room for my bag. It isn't here, shit I couldn't have lost another bag. And it's not just a bag ,people wait two months on the list to get one of them.

It is really weird that my internal voice speaks like a drunk version of me , guess you can even make your internal voice drunk, ha? My internal voice usually is the voice of a boring grown woman but now it belongs to an underage drinker, a very talkative one. I decided to check other rooms, I didn't know if there's any , I wasn't even sure if it's a hotel room or an apartment. I find my bag right next to the door. Guess we were in a rush. I check my phone and my wallet and the keys to my car, yep they're all safe. I go back to the bedroom to check if I left any proof there that I existed. then I catch a glimpse of my favorite ring a little under his side of the bed, I crawl next to him on my all fours, next to his alcohol flavoured breath and try to reach it. He talked without turning to face me:

- You can't be seriouuuus, you want another round nooow? No waaaay woman, I neeeeeed some sleeeep.

- No, I don't want another round now, actually I don't want another round ever again. From you.

He can't even open his eyes to react. And he was too drunk to catch the sarcasm. Stupid Bella you should leave soon, go on like this and tomorrow he'll be at your restaurant's door ,you can't leave any proof. I checked other end of the bed and made the bed look like noone slept on my side ever before. I wasn't expecting him to forget having sex that night but I want to give the message that I don't wanna see him again in every way I can. I removed my lipstick stains on the mouth of the bottle . I checked the room for one last time, if I left anything, nope not even a clue, if he didn't have a fingerprint set, he couldn't tell someone was here judging by the lack of proof. He would remember bringing someone over but if he remembered he couldn't remember it was me. He had no contact information about me, he didn't even know my name. He only had my face behind a haze of alcohol.

As I closed the door behind my back really silently, I tried to remember the exact path of the things that happened and led me here last night. I don't usually get drunk with them, I don't really drink without Jacob with me or out of my comfort zones which are my apartment and my restaurant. I tried to relocate my car keys in my bag but I wasn't really hopeful about getting here with my car a few hours ago, we must have taken a cab or his car. Before I took the elevator, observe the place once again by the hall between the elevator and his door. It wasn't a hotel room anyways, and I tried to remember in which part of the city I was. The part I remembered was almost an hour away from our home.

I checked my phone for the time, it's almost 6 AM, Jacob should be up soon and started to think of how could I manage to go get my car from the parking lot of the hotel that my restaurant is located in, and get there in time? I should go home immediately and shouldn't talk about the car until he left for work, after he's out I can go get my car.

I walked out of the many doors of the building ,a suited doorman greets me on the last door with a huge smile on his face and a really loud "Good morning Miss", I greet him back and ask him if he could get me a taxi with my sweetest voice. I tried to avoid him and waited outside in the cold with no coat or anything to cover me. Taxi arrived in a few minutes and I told him the adress, he swore some unintelligible words about how far the address was but he quickly recovered himself and didn't get interested in me further on the way. I used the wet towels from my bag to remove the wine stain from my dress ,it made little help but it started getting smaller from the corners as the time went on.

It was before 6:45 AM when I got home, even though the complaints about the distance , there was no traffic at all at that hour of the morning and he drove really fast. When I left him 20 bucks as his tip ,he changed the directions of his complaints and I became the best person in the world. I thanked him not so politely in return of his early behaviour and rushed into the building, in the elevator I tried to comb my hair with my hands and used the travel sized perfume to cover the wine odor. I wasn't finished yet but elevator blipped to show we're on the top floor.

Before I left the elevator, I remove my boots and take them in my hands from their heels not to make any ticking noise on the granite floor. although he was a sound sleeper I unlocked the door without even hearing the noise myself and left my bag and shoes on their usual spots, quickly changed into my nightie and gathered my hair around in a top knot, but not too tidy to give the impression it was freshly made. Removed my make up quickly and didn't forget to hide the ivory dress. I thought I hid all the traces.

After a quick glance to the room I slid into the bed next to Jacob, it was warm as always. I wanted to cuddle him but disgusted from thought of myself to touch him with another man's scent on me, he wouldn't probably notice but to my nose I reeked. He didn't move or showed any sign that he knew I was there. So I placed my hands under my head and started thinking, trying to remember how things went exactly.

I remembered myself sitting on one of the barstools on the bar area of my restaurant, La Tua Cantante, mostly known as LTC, with my openly gay bartender Alec serving me drinks. He was going on and on about some guy who just got the job in the front desk of the hotel that my restaurant's located in, that I could picture the guy completely without even seeing him in flesh What was his name? Felix or something. Then came Jane, Alec's sister and one of the cattiest women I know, I don't know why I hired her for maître d'hôtel position other than her being very good at her job, she's extremely good at herding people. I don't know if it's about her creepy eyes or the tone of her voice but people obey her without hesitation. Even Alec being older than her ,treats her like she's a queen.

As far as I remember I only drank water in a martini glass, it was a trick that I used to give the impression I drank too, to encourage customers and potential company for the night. A guy with blue eyes and a matching blue suit came and ask me if he could buy me a drink, apparently he didn't know I was the owner of this bar. He could buy me one, he could buy me a thousand, in the end the money goes into my pocket. But I didn't say him that, just politely gestured him to do so. Alec gave me exact same one without showing him that it was just water and gave him a glass of Jack Daniels. He winked at me after doing so and went to the other end of the bar and started chatting with a guy that is apparently gay like him and I could sense from his body language that both of them found each other really attractive. Goodbye, Felix!

On my side I couldn't say my company was so good looking but it didn't take me long to find a feature of him that reminded me of Mike. It was his nose with the exact same tip. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about touching it but I didn't want to interact with him physically in front of all my servers. I wanted to give the impression that I refused him.

- You're the only women I saw that drinks this smooth, you almost drank twice as me but I feel dizzy and you, there's no sign that you drank. I've been watching you for a while, I must say I'm impressed.

- That's not the only thing I'm good at.

- Tell me about that.

- I eat men like air.

- Ooookay. Guess I got the wrong signals. He attempted to leave his barstool.

- Maybe I'm keeping the signals for another place. I said cocking my head to his side.

- You don't like it here? I think it's great.

- No, not at all, can we go somewhere else?

- My place or your place. He said with a small chuckle in the end.

- Not my place, definitely, you're staying here?

- No, not really but I want to take you somewhere else before.

- Why don't we just go to your place straight?

- You should really see this place.

- OK then but don't let us take too long, maybe it will kill my buzz.

- I won't let it die. Don't worry.

I could see his eyes sparkle with desire. I wish I could feel that to a stranger. Mine was a strange pull to him, not even to him maybe , to his nose. Some of them even wants to see me afterwards, try to arrange dates, in the cases that I couldn't make them sleep before I go, but I don't even want to see their faces after I'm done with them. I don't even let my mind memorize their names, it was just trivia to me. And of course I don't tell them my original name. I was Marie with them and was Bella when I'm with Jacob as I thought of these I remembered I didn't remember exchanging names, it was good , I didn't have to fake it as Marie.

I stopped when I saw him slowing to a top in front of a nightclub, Volturi. In the most basic way I hated this place, it was filled with underage socialites and nothing more than a fancily named and decorated shithole. I didn't wanna go to a place where people do drugs in VIP booths and have sex in front of everyone. I wanted to protest but he needed some more alcohol so I didn't say a word.

As soon as we got in loud , cheap music filled my ears. I eyed the whole place, and caught a glimpse of that spiky haired socialite dancing with a circle of hot men around her, with her drink in her hand. I was pretty sure her name was starting with an A but I couldn't remember. I imagined if I could work that hairstyle or not. Only she could work that.

I told him to buy a whole bottle of wine and let him know that my buzz was suffering before he rushed to the bar area. He came back with triumphant face , and placed his arm on my waist as we walked out. I saw that socialite leaving the place too, she used the back door to avoid paparazzi. A tall man was accompanying her. I told my company to drive us to his place

As he drove I drank a huge sip from the bottle . He looked at me with that impressed eyes again and with with a huge grin on his lips . He took the bottle and drank another sip. Normally I wouldn't let him drink while I'm on the car but he seemed like a clinger and wouldn't let me go unless I get him drunk enough.

He drove fast, without talking, he was so focused on getting laid with a girl like me, I'm not saying this to bloat, but even he knows I'm way out of his league. We walked to the elevator with drunk steps, but I was faking it and he was really drunk, he couldn't even wait til the elevator doors close, he cupped my waist and started kissing me with his alcohol filled breath. I led his head to my neck and he went on kissing there, I just wasn't comfortable with kissing these men on the mouth, it was something I kept special to Jacob and myself. He pushed me off to the wall, with both of his hands traveling around my body. I took another sip from the bottle, I almost drank half of it myself, even if I seem to be a smooth drinker from outside, I'm easily wasted.

It took very long for us to get to the floor he lived and he used that time well, never breaking the touch even when opening the door. Once we are in he was unstoppable. I can't remember in which part of this my handbag got thrown away, but I remember stopping to drink the whole bottle and joining him in the room while he were undressing himself. He caught me where he left and with his hands on the hem of my dress he quickly removed it, we were also moving forward to the bed, on the last step he lifted me from the ground and I hitched my legs around his waist. Last thing I remember is him getting ready to rip my bra from the middle and me yelling at him for it. I didn't like my clothes getting ripped.

The rest is still unclear, and I was pretty impressed with my memory for not remembering the whole process this time. Usually I am left with spotless storyline of the night haunting me the next day.

Bleeeeeep!

Annoying sound of the alarm clock woke Jake a little bit, it never succeeds to wake him up completely, he always needs me getting involved. I move my hand aound his bare warm chest, and call his name with affection in every note.

He flipped us over to make himself the one on top, and placed himself between my legs. I never get to understand where he finds this energy to do this every morning, and how he keeps his buzz this powerful all the time. Maybe he loves you stupid. But I wasn't ready to fulfill him yet so I politely remove him after a quick kiss , at least make an attempt to remove him, it's not in my power to force him into anything with my tiny size anyways. He got up from bed murmuring some complaints but he went to the shower without saying anything out loud.

- Good morning to you, too, Honey! He yelled from the shower. I fought back the urge to go join him there. Quickly got up from bed and started preparing breakfast for the champion. 3 eggs and a lot of bacon.