.A/N: OME! Guys we reached 299 reviews!!!! Only one more review and we reach 300!!!!!!!!!!! You guys are the best! I love you all so much!

Recap:

"Hello Damien" His voice was grave, "I talked to Bella's doctor……"

The branch that was in my hand snapped and I paled, "Bella's WHAT?!"

Trust

She doesn't know

That he stands alone

Watching her pain

Adding on his own

I stared at Damien with my eyes wide and my breath caught. My heart threatened to jump out of my throat and my throat threatened to push it out from how tight it was. Carlisle was silent on the other end and Damien just stared at me wordlessly, his mind giving away nothing.

Carlisle called Bella's doctor? Why was I so alarmed? Of course she had a doctor, after what I've done to her. She had to have one. She had seizures……I should've expected that. But… but…

What scared me was …Carlisle talking to him. Why would he need to? Carlisle was the best doctor in this universe. He wouldn't need to talk to another doctor about any ……case. I flinched. Unless………

My eyes grew wider and I heard my silent as the breeze "no". Fear started to build in my chest and so was rejection.

Unless it was something Carlisle had never encountered. Did Bella have something that ……serious? I swallowed loudly.

"D…Damien" There was no voice. I tried again but my words would only be mouthed. I knew he understood so I continued, "What's wrong with her?"

Various and terrifying scenarios ran through my mind in the few seconds that Damien needed to answer me. Cancer, AIDS, Legionnaires, Heart failure……… Oh no! What would I do if she really had any of those horrible diseases? What would I do if I caused any of these………

No! I could not cause any of these.

Then what was wrong with her? I was going to lose my mind if I wasn't told the truth in right now.

"Carlisle, I'll talk to you later, ok?" Damien whispered slowly. Deliberating. Why was he deliberating? Didn't he know that be each passing second the diseases multiplied in my mind? Getting more worse? Didn't he know that each fraction of a second he took more, he increased my pain? It felt like my stomach was coiling and I was close to the feeling of vomiting. I knew I couldn't, but it felt like it.

"Alright" Carlisle whispered. I watched as he shoved the phone in his pocket. I watched as he lifted his head back up again and stared at her window. I watched as took his time to arrange his thoughts while I burned beside him.

And that was when I realized that that was all I did. I watched. Nothing else. Ever since I found her again, I've been hiding in a tree. Watching her. Watching her joy. Watching her smiles. Watching her pretence. Watching her pain………and adding on my own.

Was I really that hopeless? To sit there and watch her life just pass by without trying to be a part of it? Watch her pain without trying to soothe it? Watching her pretenses and not trying to kill it? Watching her walls fall and not trying to build it back up for her? Watching her weakness and not trying to strengthen her?

Was that really what I was? A useless observer? I killed every pure joy that was inside her, and now I was just living in my own joy of observing her. How more disgusting could I become?

I used to call myself a monster but now………What word could describe what I was? Monster was just too small.

I shifted my gaze to stare at her sleeping form. What wouldn't I give right now to alter from that useless observer to the slave of her love? I would do anything for her. And that wasn't just a sentence that a hero in a romantic movie would say to the heroine then just go back on it when she asked for something far from attainable. No. It was real. If she asked for the stars I would find a way to get them to her. Maybe some vampire on this earth had the ability of moving the stars. I would hunt him down and get them for her.

If she had asked me to look for her for a husband. I would. Even if it killed me. She wanted it. How could I ever deny her that?

She could ask for anything. Anything.

Anything but………asking me to not love her. That would be the only thing I wouldn't be able to comply her. When she'd told me that we can't be…I knew what she wanted. She wanted me to stop loving her. She wanted me to lose faith in ever having her love again. She wanted me to lose hope in her ever being my Bella again.

But she was never more mistaken. She would always be my Bella in my heart. And I would always love her unconditionally. And each day I would love her more than the other, because by the beginning of every new morning she grew a day. That day made a difference in her. That day makes a difference in the beauty of her spirit, the beauty of her heart, and the beauty of her mind.

How could I not love her? How could she expect me to stop?

"Edward" I heard her sigh in her sleep. My heart tightened and I snapped back to reality. I looked back at Damien and found him still staring at Bella, his mind completely blocked. I couldn't guess what he was thinking about.

"Damien" I repeated in a small voice. "Won't you tell me?" I asked timidly. A part of me didn't want to know. I knew I could never handle any more pain. If any amount of pain, regardless to how slight, was added on the already burning ache in my body………I can not begin to explain what it would do to me. I have reached my limit.

"I…" Damien hesitated in a whisper. I kept silent, giving him his time to kill me, "I…I can't. I'm sorry" He whispered as his eyes met mine again. His golden ones were full of a plea for my understanding. I was sure mine were full of my own pleas.

"Please Damien? I need to know" I breathed. Still incapable of finding all of my voice.

His eye looked torn but determined. He ran a hand through his bronze hair and then rubbed his face. "You love her" It wasn't a question. Just a statement but I felt the need to confirm it.

"irrationally" I mouthed.

"You'd do whatever she desires" He stated again. And again I felt the need to confirm.

"Without second thoughts"

He stared into my eyes intently as he said clearly, "Your knowledge of this wasn't her desire" He said each word separately. Emphasizing.

"Oh" Was all I said. That wasn't her desire…… But it was important.

She wasn't willing to tell me…… But I need to know.

I would do whatever she desires……But that rule doesn't apply here.

It applies on any situation………but this one.

Two voices battling in my head driving me insane. Which is right and which is wrong?

"Do you still want me to tell you?" He asked quietly.

Why was he asking me a trick question? Why did that question seem so hard when in reality it holds no difficulty?

"No" I sighed in defeat. "I'm just……scared Damien. I can't be there for her right now. And now she was suffering from something…and I don't know how bad that something is. It's maddening" I confessed.

We were both silent for another eternity, till he broke it suddenly, "Will you trust me? Please Edward" He whispered.

Will you trust me to be there for her? Will you trust me to keep her safe till you can take that role? He thought to me.

I stared at him. Was there a reason not to trust him? I asked myself. I couldn't find any. He's done nothing but be kind to both of us.

"Yes. I do trust you Damien. I will." I mumbled.

Suddenly, I felt that electric shock that had ran in my veins before when I held his hand. I gasped in surprise. It was a quick spark that shocked me and disappeared as quickly as it had come.

I noticed that Damien gasped as well. "Did you feel that too?" I asked.

"I did" He said as his eyebrows furrowed, "I don't understand what's going on" He said frankly.

"Neither do I" These days, it seems like the world has decided to flip up side down. Leaving everything incomprehensible.

My gaze shifted to Bella and I found my words running away without passing through the filter of my mind, "Can I hold her?" My voice was just a small crack. Like that of a young child, full of fear.

"Go Edward, she won't notice now" He said quietly. Some how his words hurt a part of me. Because a part of me wanted her to notice. Wanted her to know that I've been holding her tight and keeping her safe. That I didn't go back on all the promises I gave her.

Her room was full of the scent that made my throat burn. That burn was pleasurable to me. That burn meant that she was still alive. I would always worship that burn.

I walked to her bed just like I once did. I didn't stop her playing lullaby. Tonight I wanted to talk to her. Yes, She was asleep. But she was here.

I sat beside her on the bed and wrapped my arms around her, gently. I buried my face in her soft hair and inhaled as much of her scent as I could. She twisted a little in her sleep until her face was buried in my chest. One of my hands buried itself in her hair, keeping her close to my dead heart. The other was pushing the hair away from her face.

I sighed in contentment. "I miss you" I whispered softly so she wouldn't wake up. "You can't imagine how hard it is to stay away from you" I mumbled in her hair. I hugged her tighter to me. A part of me, an insane part, expected her to answer. She always did. But that part was disappointed.

"What wouldn't I give to erase everything that has happened" She twitched again and her small warm hand was on my chest, just beside her face. "But I can't. So I just want you to know…" I touched my lips to her forehead as I whispered, "that I will never stop loving you. And I will do whatever I can to win you back, love" I laid a kiss there and stroked her hair. "You will always be mine, as I'll always be yours"

I felt something wet on my shirt. Tears! She was awake. I froze! Bella was awake. What would she say? Would she reject me? Would she be disgusted? Would she be mad at me?

I started to pull away but I felt her hand fist in my shirt. "Stay" was all she whispered. How could I not oblige? I sat back in my place and pulled her closer to me. She wrapped her arms around me but didn't say anything else.

My heart swelled with hope that I quickly crushed. She hadn't entirely approved of me yet. I had to be patient. I had to be her strength till she finds her own. Only then could I start to ask for her forgiveness again. Only then could I start to hope again. But now, she was broken. And my job was to fix her. And I will do whatever it takes to make her happy again.

"Sleep now, my love. Know that you're safe, and loved. Know that I would never give up until I make you as happy as you have made my whole eternity" I whispered and hesitantly I kissed her hair and hummed along with her lullaby. A smile on my face as I lulled my love to sleep with her knowledge and will.

A/N: so…? What do you think? Sorry if it was too much for you. I was just feeling a little more romance than I should lol. Hope it was good enough for you.

Abby: :D eeeeeeek! Yay! Thank yoooooooooouuuuuuu!!! Hope you like this one too!

Love

Mai