A/N:I'd like to try taking things in a different direction now. Instead of a coherent plot (plots? who needs 'em?) I have in mind a series of unrelated scenes similiar to my work in the Days of Our Normandy Lives fics. Only with the wacky dialed back about ninety percent.

The Fix

Welcome to InstallerBot V 1.2346

The installation wizard will guide you through the installation process for

FIRE_CONTROL_SYSTEM_UPGRADE_V3.51

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Y

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Y

Running installation wizard...

Unpacking files...

Warning: The following file boom_ not found. Unable to continue installation.

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"Oh you motherless son of a bitch!" Hailstorm hissed through her teeth as the upgrade to the Mako's fire control system that she had been attempting to install for the last hour crashed. Yet again. For the tenth time in a row.

Sighing, Hayley sat back on the ammo crate she was using as a seat, shoulders slumped. She'd inherited the care and feeding of the troublesome M35 from Garrus Vakarian, a turian former C-Sec officer who had served alongside Shepard during the hunt for Saren. The Mako had been Garrus' baby, from all accounts. Apparently, the turian had found working on the vehicle to be relaxing. After Garrus had been accepted into the Spectres following a glowing recommendation from Shepard, responsibility for the upkeep of the Mako had been laid on the Lieutenant's slender shoulders.

A task which had conclusively proven to not be relaxing. Far from being relaxed and comfortable, Storm, to borrow a line from the old Earth rock song she'd heard Shepard playing, was aggravation and rage.

Tiredly rubbing the bridge of her nose, Hayley muttered, "I have advanced degrees in engineering and communications; I will not be beaten by an installer program."

"Problems, LT?"

Storm turned half-around to face the Gunnery Chief who had, up until now, been inventorying the ammunition stocks in the garage. Storm's lips quirked upwards in a tired smile. "The auto-updater won't auto-update and until it does auto-update, the Mako's nothing more than an expensive way of committing suicide. Hell...if I can't get the main gun back online before the next drop, I won't have to worry about the hostiles killing me, Shepard'll do the job for them."

Williams frowned, "Come on, LT. The Skipper's not that bad."

Storm merely held the Chief's gaze for several seconds. "You know that crazy look she gets in her eyes? The one she gets right before using her biotics to throw some poor bastard into the middle of next week? Yeah, I don't want to be on the receiving end of that, thank you very much."

Williams shrugged. "Maybe you should take a break? I'm due for a break in ten, join me in the mess?"

Storm looked from the computer terminal linked to the Mako, to Williams and back. The blinking cursor onscreen seemed to be mocking her futile attempts to update the FCS. Before she could open her mouth to accept the Gunnery Chief's offer, her comm unit bleeped. With a deep breath she unclipped the unit from her belt. "Storm."

---

One of the worst aspects of the Commander's job, aside from facing the grieving families of soldiers who'd died under her command, and dealing with numpties like the Council was writing the after-action reports.

A mind-numbing task made infinitely worse in this case by the fact that the desktop unit in her cabin seemed to have died. Shepard tried to remember the last time she'd saved the file she'd been working on. It had only been in the last ten minutes so that wasn't too bad, she reflected as she gave the computer the three-finger salute.

Nothing. The time honoured ritual of simultaneously pressing Ctrl Alt Del yielded no positive results.

Annoyed, Shepard hit the reset button. Instead of the expected sound of the drives spooling up, all she received was a high pitched bleeep.

Shepard closed her eyes, took a deep breath, held it for several heartbeats before releasing it, and, eyes still closed, hit the reset button a second time.

Again the terminal emitted that high-pitched bleeep that for all the world felt as though somebody was attempting to slide steel skewers through her ears and into her skull.

A realisation dawned on the Commander - the computer's drives were toast. Apparently they'd decided to commit seppuku rather than stand up under the continual onslaught that Shepard put them through. All she had done was to leave the system in standby mode when she wasn't using it, so as to avoid the tedious start-up process. And now this.

A further realisation dawned on the Commander - not only had she lost all her reports - including the very one on the now-resolved Aurion situation, she'd also lost her music collection. Sure, most of it was safely backed up onto OSDs but some she hadn't yet gotten around to backing up. She sighed and rubbed her eyes. Storm had only told her last week that she needed to be 'more diligent in her back-up routine'

Something in the Commander had bristled at the thought of being told to be more diligent by a woman five years younger than she. It was such a small, petty thing to rebel against and now look at her: sitting before her terminal that was fit only for use as a paperweight. Fetching a long-suffering sigh and feeling the weight of every one of her thirty years settle upon her like a burdensome cloak, Shepard keyed her comm and made ready to eat crow.

"Storm," and from the sound of her voice in the Commander's ear, Hayley wasn't enjoying the most sunny of days either. The thought raised a faint smile on Shepard's lips. Ah, schadenfreude.

"Hayles," Shepard hoped the informal approach might earn her more kudos rather than simply ordering the younger officer up to her quarters. "Got a small issue with my office terminal. I think the drive's died."

A pause. Then, "You have been backing up your data files, Commander?" Storm replied and Shepard felt a stab of guilt at the tiredness carried in her tone.

"Ah...not as such, no."

A strange kind of dull clunk could be heard over the commline and then, faintly in the background, Williams' voice pitched higher than normal in concern over whatever had caused the clunk. "LT? Are you OK?"

"Storm?" Shepard enquired. "What was that sound at your end?"

"That would be the sound of my head hitting the flank of the Mako, Ma'am." A deep intake of breath could be heard over the comm. "I'll be right up."

---

"Hayles," Shepard's voice came over the commline so clearly it was like the woman was right beside her. "Got a small issue with my office terminal. I think the drive's died," the Commander went on. Hayley closed her eyes and mouthed a curse. Eyes still closed she asked, "You have been backing up your data files, Commander?"

Please please please pl-

"Ah...not as such, no."

Hayley was suddenly gripped by an incredibly powerful urge to smack her head into the Mako's hull. A dull clunk echoed down the commline and behind her Williams said in what was for her, a shrill voice, "LT? Are you OK?" Storm waved her away, feeling a dull ache in her forehead. How many times had she stressed the importance of maintaining a correct back-up procedure? God, it was like dealing with school children at times. School children who knew eighty different ways to kill a man using only common household items. But still...

Shepard's voice intruded into her thoughts, "Storm? What was that sound at your end?"

Lips twisting into a humourless parody of her usual easy smile, Storm replied, "That would be the sound of my head hitting the flank of the Mako, Ma'am." Storm took another deep breath Pretty soon you'll begin to hyperventilate and I don't think there's any paper bags around. "I'll be right up," she finally said, keying off the comm unit. Storm pushed herself up from her ammo crate cum chair and, with a short detour to her locker to procure a rescue OSD full of data-recovery applications, she made for the elevator to the main deck.

Williams watched her leave, waiting until the the elevator doors closed on her before turning her attention to the Mako terminal. Leaning over the screen, Williams read the error message that had set off the LT. "File not found?" the Chief murmured. Not that she believed herself to more technically adept than the just-departed Hailstorm but Williams had an inkling of an idea. What if she found the file and copied it to the correct directory? Then, when the LT came back and found the auto-updated had actually auto-updated and that the Mako's main armament was in full working order, wouldn't she be all kinds of relieved? Williams rather thought she would be and, with a smile on her lips and a twinkle in her eye, set about finding that missing file.

---

"Lieutenant Storm reporting as ordered, Commander," Storm said as the door to Shepard's cabin hissed open. Waves of bass-laden music washed over her as Storm entered the room. This close to the small but powerful speakers of Shepard's digital music player, Storm could actually feel the bass signature vibrate through her ribcage. The incipient headache that had been poised behind her eyes the last little while suddenly decided to burst out and say Howdy! And from the feel of things, it had brought a brass band along.

"May I be so bold as to make a request, Commander?" Storm asked through gritted teeth as she seated herself before the terminal. The terminal was emitting the kind of high-pitched bleeep that drove dogs mad and caused birds to fall from their nests, dead.

"What's on your mind, Hayles?" Shepard asked, tapping a foot in time to the music.

"You wanna turn that down a touch? Or better yet, several touches?"

Shepard seemed about to protest but crossed to the player and pressed a button. The silence was deafening. In the sudden absence of sonic fury Storm found she could actually hear the pulse of her blood in her ears.

"OK. Ma'am, I'll try to salvage as much of your file system as I can but..."

"The patient is terminal and the prognosis is dire?" Shepard flippantly asked. Storm rolled her eyes as she nodded. Shepard pretended not to notice the small act of insubordination. "I'll leave you to it, Hayles. Can I get you anything?"

"A Bacardi and cola but I'll settle for a cup of that herbal tea we picked up on the Citadel."

Shepard nodded and left.

---

"Hailstorm, what's up?"

Hayley turned to the requisitions officer as she exited the elevator and stepped into the garage. She'd spent so much of her time down here lately, she considered filing a requisition for a hammock. It'd be more comfortable than the sleeper pods at least.

Mike the Requisitions Officer had seen the drawn look on the Lieutenant as she stepped out of the elevator and felt compelled to ask after her health.

"What day is it, Mike?" Hayley asked, rubbing her forehead. The headache had receded slightly so that it no longer felt as though some cheerful psychopath was hard at work hammering at the inside of her skull with an ice pick.

"Friday, Ma'am. Ship-time," Mike responded after a moment. He gave the officer quick once over. Hailstorm looked a little frazzled but it wasn't his place to say anything.

"Friday. Exactly. You ever notice how often things stop working right before the weekend? Or right after the warranty expires?"

Unsure how to react, Mike simply nodded. Wordlessly the Lieutenant squared her shoulders, pulled herself to her full height and made a beeline for the Mako. The same Mako Mike had seen Williams working on before.

Hailstorm noticed the Gunnery Chief standing by the M35, a small smile flitting across her full lips. Oh what is it now? As she stopped by the Mako, she glanced at the monitor and saw something near-miraculous: the auto-updater seemed to have successfully auto-updated.

"Ash? Did you..." she tilted her head towards the vehicle. It sat on the deck, radiating quiet menace.

Williams nodded, no longer fighting the smile. "You seemed so stressed out before that I figured I'd try to help out. I managed to copy that missing file back to where it belonged and, well." she shrugged.

Storm smiled and it was the most radiant thing Williams had seen. "Ash, if it wasn't totally against protocol, I'd kiss you."

Williams shuffled her feet. "An on the mouth kiss? Because an on the mouth kiss would be kinda weird for me, LT."

Storm laughed. "I was thinking on the forehead."

Williams felt absurdly relieved. "On the forehead would be fine, LT."

Storm took the Gunnery Chief by the shoulders and gently kissed her on the forehead. Pulling away she whispered, "Williams, you're lifesaver."

Over the by the elevator, the requisitions officer, having seen the moment of girl-on-girl action, let out a wolf whistle. Williams shot him the finger.

A/N: I'm sure I'm not the only one who's had a computer die right before the weekend and had to suck up the wait until Monday to get things fixed. The issue with the auto-updater is inspired by my own issues with patches that just don't want to work.