..A/N: THANK YOU GUYS FOR THE REVIEWS!!!!!!

Recap:

"Damien. It's me, Bella. You're little loving sister. I'm here to listen, if you're ready to talk" I whispered.

He closed his eyed and leaned the side of his head against the headboard. He took a deep breath and then breathed, "I miss her…"

Forgive me

I did this, love

Please forgive me

I promise you tonight

That you'll always be

In my heart, in my thoughts

Just give me a reason to live and be

Damien's POV

"Damien" Bella whispered and I felt her hand squeeze mine. I knew she was worried because I had been silent for a while now. The truth is that after I told her that I missed Rose. I felt two opposite emotions, that I didn't understand how they combined. I felt a little relieved to finally talk to someone about her, but I also felt the ache of her absence.

To say that I miss her, that would be the biggest understatement of my life. Every moment I spent away from her I wondered how she was doing. And if she missed me as much as I missed her. If she thought about me as much as I her. If she ever wondered if I thought about her or not.

"Yes" I whispered. I tried to keep as much pain as possible out of my voice, but I knew it was still clear.

"Where is she?" I squeezed my eyes and covered my face with my hands.

"It was all my fault" I whimpered. I lifted my feet off the ground and put them on the bed. I bent my knees and rested my forehead against them. Curling into a ball that I spent years hiding in. I felt her hand on my hair and the other on my arm. I didn't know if she was trying to pry me free or if she was trying to soothe me, but I didn't move.

"What happened?" She whispered.

***********

The pain was finally over. Never in my life would I have been able to imagine such an intense pain. Had I had the chance to die, I would've taken it without a second thought. But now it was over and I was free to open my eyes to see the world through them. But I didn't want to, afraid of what I might see.

What if all this was a nightmare? Surely it would disappear by just waking up. So that's what I did. I opened my eyes. I gasped once I did. Everything looked so different. So sharp, so clear. That shouldn't be a bad thing, but…it scared me.

My gasp allowed the air to pass through to my lungs, making me take in scents that I have never noticed. The scent of wet mud……dust……leaves…and……

My head snapped behind me as I caught the scent of something familiar but still not so. And that was when I realized that there was someone sobbing. I was so distracted to notice the voice before. But now, I didn't know how I missed it. It was so loud and heartbreaking.

I realized that the source of the scent was the source of the sobbing. Behind me, sitting under a tree, was Rosalinda. She had her back against the tree, her hand covering her mouth as she sobbed and her arm around her torso. Her legs were tucked under her as she shook. I stared at her for a moment, not really comprehending why she was so. My first instinct was to comfort her, till my mind caught up………

I suddenly realized what had happened. Why I was in that pain. Why she looked so guilty and scared.

"What have you done?" I found myself whispering. Appalled.

She didn't answer me, her sobs just grew louder and more pronounced as she stared at me.

I looked down at my body……No! this was not my body. This body was pale, too pale. It was muscular, but not in a way that would make me feel proud.

"What have you done?" I repeated but this time my voice was louder. I looked up at her and I moved my leg to go to her and suddenly I was in front of her. It frightened me. How did I reach her so fast?

I held her from her upper arms and burned my eyes into hers. Her eyes were full of fear and sorrow but they didn't move me. Not now.

"Why? Why did you do this to me?" And I realized I was shouting. Her black eyes tightened with guilt and pain.

"I'm sorry" was all she whispered. And I certainly did NOT care about apologies right now.

"Answer me!" I shouted she squeezed her eyes closed and looked the other way.

"They were going to kill you. I told you, there was no other way'' She croaked between her sobs.

"No! I told you no. I refused. And you did it anyway. Do you realize what you've done to me?" I shouted and she just squeezed her eyes further and didn't turn her face to meet mine.

"Look at me!" I shouted and I didn't realize I was shaking her till I slammed her body against the tree. It didn't seem to hurt her but the tree croaked and started to fall backwards, till it hit the ground with a loud bang!

I pushed myself away from her instantly. I stared at my pale hands in disbelief. What have I done? How did I do it? How could I?

"D…Damien. It's ok…you don't kn…know you're strength…yet" She stuttered in a broken whisper.

"Strength?" I looked up at her and she flinched from my glare. "You turned me into a monster and you're telling me…STRENGHT?" I bellowed. "Do you have any idea what this coasts me?"

She was still on the ground as she stared up at me in fear. Her hand still covering her mouth as she shook her head slowly.

I gritted my teeth and was surprised to hear myself …growl? "My only hope of EVER seeing my family again was to DIE! You took that away form me! Now I can't die, and I will never see them again! Does that make you happy? Are you satisfied now? Your friends can't reach me now but I will have to live till God knows how long wondering how my parents were like and if I ever had a brother or a sister?" Her eyes were wide and the pain in them increased.

The sight of her pain stopped me in track. I was panting. I rubbed my face with my hands then ran my fingers through my hair. "Now, I will never know how it would feel like to have mother that loved me or a father that praised me, or a brother or a sister that looked up to me" I mumbled mostly to myself as I stared at a rock on the ground. Grief over my lost family twisted in my chest and I closed my eyes.

Was I that bad of a person? Was I so bad that I did not deserve to have a family and live happily with them? Was I so bad that I wouldn't be allowed to ever have even one glance at them? At first, when I was human, I would have answered that I wasn't so bad. And that I did deserve to have one like every other person. But now, I most certainly did not. Now that I'm a monster. Something that lived to kill, and lived on killing. How could I deserve anything?

"I…I'm s…sorry, Damien" She repeated honestly. I almost chuckled. What could I do with an apology? My only hope was to see them in the afterlife. Now that hope was gone…forever.

My heart was torn and I was on the verge of breaking down. I didn't want her to see exactly what she had done. I didn't want her to see how weak I really was. I didn't want her to know that she killed me. I just wanted to grieve over my loss. Alone.

"Leave" I whispered almost mutely. Her sobbing stopped all together and she stared at me, and I could actually see her heart break on her face.

"What?" She mouthed. Her blonde hair almost covering her face, but her black eyes were as clear as a candle in the dark. They were full of denial and ache. I knew she wanted me to take the words back, and she was giving me a chance to take them back. And I was a fool for not taking that chance.

I was too full of anger, too full of pain and hurt, too full of self disgust to notice what I was actually doing.

"Leave!" I repeated, louder and clearer this time. I noticed there was a strange ache in my throat, almost as if a burn. It added to all that I was feeling and it made things worse.

"D…D…Damien…p…please…" She started as she tried to stand up without shaking.

I felt my fury rise with the burn in my throat and every other feeling was intensifying. "Leave!" I shouted and she took a step back and clutched her fists to her chest. She had stared at me with tearful eyes before she looked down at he fists. She took her left fist in her right hand and loosened it.

"C…can…I…at l…least keep the…r…ring?" She whispered shakily. Her fingers lingering on the ring on her left hand. That ring was made of wood. When I had decided to propose to propose, I could not buy her a ring. I had no money and I had to hide. So I made her one. It took me a month to make it, I thought it was bad and cheap but she was ecstatic.

I looked from the ring to her and felt the burning in the back of my throat increase in a way that infuriated me, and my urge to break down was demanding. "Keep it. Just leave" I said as I turned my back on her.

"Goodbye Damien. I love you so much. I will never forget you" She whispered and I knew the instant she left that she wasn't there.

I fell on my knees then, and allowed the grief that I had held back to break free. I curled there on the ground, sobbing, for hours. I didn't want to get up but the burn in my throat started to take control over my senses and I needed to put it off. So I decided that once the fire was put off, I could continue grieving over the family that I will never see.

**************

"A…and when I realized w…what I had done, it was…t…too late to fix it. S…She was gone" I whispered between my sobs. All she wanted to do was to protect me. She was scared for me , she wanted me safe, and that was how I told her that I loved her too. That I wanted her with me forever, even if she was the cause of this.

"Oh Damien" I heard Bella's voice break and my head snapped up. She was crying. I tried to stifle my sobs to calm her down but she stopped me.

"No! no. Cry Damien. You have to let it out." She whispered as she wiped her tears but it was no use. Others ran down. She wrapped her arms around me and stroked my hair as I sobbed on her shoulder.

"The last memory she has of me, is me telling her to leave. She must think that I hate her. How could I have done something like that? How could I have hurt her that way?" I thought out loud.

"Listen Damien. You were under so much pressure. You were angry and hurt. Plus Edward told me that when you are a new born you don't have control on anything, least of all emotions and conversations. You did not really know what you were doing" She spoke slowly. She kept stroking my hair.

"Justifications don't matter now" I whispered as I wrapped my arms around Bella tightly. It was as if she was giving me the strength I needed right now. I buried my face further in her shoulder as one more sob escaped me. She tightened her arms around me as I whispered, "She's gone!"

A/N: sooooooooo what do you think of Damien's story?? Hate it? Dislike it? Like it? Love it? Lol. Please tell me. I have butterflies in my stomach.

Review Reply for anon:

Abby: :D eeeeeeek!!!! Yay! I'm so excited. And don't worry, as long as I'm still writing you'll find something new. I don't repeat story lines. Thank you!

Nikkiscraps: :D Thank you! And yes, I'm almost 15!!! Thank you, but you should see me with my friends lol I'm the farthest thing from mature lol. I will update faster than this chappy. I just had computer problems so I couldn't upload it earlier. Hope you still like it. Thanks!

Love

Mai