OK people, my bad for taking so long uploading. Had a lot going on... OK, that's a lie. I was reading other fanfics. sorry :(
But moving on, here's the next chapter and i'll hopefully get better at upolading more frequently.
Review people. It makes me smile to get nice reviews, or any reviews at all to be honest.
Enjoy x
Destiny
Chapter 13
Waking up, I felt a fresh wave of shock at my surroundings before memory kicked in. I was in hospital.
"Hey sweetie." A voice said softly.
I glanced over my shoulder to see my family sitting quietly watching me.
"Hi mum" I smiled, turning towards them.
"Sorry we couldn't make it earlier, sweetie" mum apologised, "Work and school, you know?"
I nodded, glad they were finally here. I felt so alone.
"We heard Jacob came round earlier, from the nurse"
I nodded again. I really didn't feel like saying much.
"And Edward?" she continued, flickering her eyes to the daisy.
I felt my smile tighten and my eyes pinch at the edges but if they noticed they didn't say anything. Mum was too busy inspecting the unwrapped present and the wilting daisy.
"Aren't you going to open this?" she asked, motioning to the present.
I pretended not to hear- out of sight: out of mind- and focused my attentions on the terrible twins who were playing cards in the corner. They sat silently, so unlike how they normally were. They should have been bouncing off the walls, creating a mess and wreaking havoc but instead they were sitting placid, obviously under strict instructions from my parents not to cause trouble.
That was when I realised things had changed. My near death experience had caused my siblings to actually listen to my parents; it was causing my dad to stare listlessly out the window; and my mum to continue her pointless yattering. It had changed my feelings towards Edward and Jacob. But had it changed me? I didn't feel changed. I didn't feel like I had a new zest for life. I didn't feel like I had a greater appreciation for what I had, or for what I'd almost lost.
So where does that leave me, when the world keeps spinning and I can't keep up with the changes? Or when the world stops and I'm spinning out of control?
What do I do when people change and I don't?
We sat in silence, mum had given up her idle chatter, but then Alice made the brave move to disturb the room's eerie stillness and switch the ward T.V on. The room was then filled with the pleasant hum of activity that directly contrasted with where I sat.
It felt so strange, watching one of our families well loved shows in silence when normally we would make fun of the characters, mock the simple plot and yet enjoy the company and the closeness we were able to share.
I hoped everyone would change back to who they should be. It felt as if the family had been frozen in a moment of terror. My near death experience had put everyone in such shock that they had actually lost a part of who they were, as if I had died and the family was in complete. I suppose it's almost funny how the fact I'd nearly died isn't the thing that's haunting me; it's what happened when I woke up. It was only then that everything had gone so wrong. I had survived; thanks to Jacob I was still alive. So why did everything have to be so complicated? It was hard to appreciate my life when I had practically come back from the dead to find it in tatters. Looking around the room I saw my family. They should be laughing, smiling, talking easily. Alice and Emmet should have hopped on a hospital gurney and raced down the corridors by now, dad should be talking about the latest game and mum should be trying to involve me in her latest venture but they were being so quiet. It was as if they had died. The complete contrast to how they should be made me feel like normality was just an instance away, like the snap of fingers.
Without even realising it, I snapped my fingers and brought about the questioning look of my family who had previously avoided even looking at me.
And just like that, they started laughing. Alice and Emmet tittered in the corner and pretty much immediately bowed their heads together and started whispering. I smelled a prank but I was relived. Mum giggled like a windchime and dad, who had still been gazing out the window laughed his brash laugh and I just smiled, content, yet wishing everything could be that easy.
The tension in the room had been lifted and we fell back into our routine of banter and snide comments that glanced off our thick hides. We were more united than ever and I was so gracious they had apparently forgotten my unfortunate accident.
It was so strange to think that everything had appeared so much bleaker five minutes ago. I'm not sure why my family was acting so out of sorts- stress? Worry? Fear? -but I wasn't exactly going to question them about it now. One part of my life had momentarily warped into something ugly and unfamiliar but had just as suddenly resolved itself whereas the other half of my life was in ruins.
I have known Edward nearly all my life. I've been through the highs and lows of his personal life with him. I thought I knew him inside out but he went and threw something new into the mix and now he's foreign and alien to me. I feel like I don't know him at all anymore. He's loved me for how long? I don't even want to think about it because it means every look and touch takes on a whole new meaning that I hadn't intended. It makes sense, in a way. I finally understand his aversion to Jacob I hadn't really noticed before.
And Jacob: I've only been going out with him for three months but he hasn't even made frequent visits to the hospital: only once when I was asleep. But he did save my life! What kind of repayment would it be to break up with him when I owe him so much?
And why would I break up with him? Just to save Edward his pain?
I don't know what to do. I don't want to live without either of them.
But I suppose my decision is clear. I don't love him, so it's unfair to lead him on. I ignore the swelling feeling in my stomach as I think of him and I put it down to nerves.
Nerves at what I have to do...
OK, so Bella knows what she has to do, but is it Edward or Jacob?
Regardless of who she chooses, i know what you have to do and that's review!
Woo, that ryhmes ;)
anyhoo, review people, see you in the next chapter :D
Ruth out x