Author's Note: This... this... I don't even know. It was spawned from an MSN conversation, and then mutated and kept growing and growing and feeding on itself... It's.. somewhat messily written... And, well.

Uh, so I hope it's not as big a pile of fail as I think it is and that you get some amusement out of this.

Summary: Rule number one of the workshop: Everything is Jess' fault.

"…A kid. A kid."

"It looks like it…"

"What the hell are we supposed to do with- with a five-year old? And how exactly do we explain… this?!"

"…Um, I'm right here, you know."

---

The moment she walked into the workshop, Nikki knew that something was very, very wrong.

"…Um, Jess?" Not at all because a very hesitant looking– if she hadn't known better, she'd have said timid– Roxis was tapping on said girl's shoulder, seeming vaguely sheepish about something.

But before she could fully take in the absurdity of that image, Vayne stormed up to Jess and managed to tower over her… more than normal, that is, with already being seven inches taller than the girl normally.

"Jess, I demand that you explain exactly what has happened immediately," Vayne– yes, something was definitely wrong here– raged. "Or better yet, find a way to fix it."

Maybe it was a good time to ask what had happened. Though maybe it would've been just as good an idea to leave and let someone else deal with it. This mess had nothing to do with her. Yet.

"Ahaha, well…" Jess laughed a little uneasily. "I'm sure that it will wear off… Eventually…"

"Eventually? Exactly when will that be?!" Vayne all but squawked. "I refuse to go around like– like this!"

"Hey…" Roxis murmured indignantly.

…This was confusing, myaaa. She should just turn around and walk back through the door. Not get involved. Find a cute guy to flirt with. Her instincts told her that would be the smart thing to do.

…Yet for some reason, she ended up walking forward, and in a voice filled with dread, asked The Question.

"Jess, what did you do this time?"

When three heads snapped up to look in her direction with varying expressions– one with near murderous intent, another with mild surprise, and the last with resigned annoyance-- Nikki knew it was going to be one of those days.

"She put one of her concoctions in our food," Vayne bit out.

"Jess…" Roxis' voice was tinged with long-suffering exasperation. "Haven't we told you to stop putting unknown substances in our food?"

"But it wasn't unknown!" the pink-haired girl protested. "I tested it on myself and nothing happened!"

"Obviously, something has happened now," the silver-haired boy snarled. "Test more extensively."

"That's what I have you guys for!" Jess beamed. Roxis sighed frustratedly before trying to reason with her from a different angle.

"Jess, you can't keep doing things like this. What if something really bad happened?"

"You mean this isn't already bad enough?"

As if on cue, Jess' lip quivered. The next moment, Nikki found herself with a… rather short… Jess wrapped around her legs.

"Niiikkiiiii," she whimpered. "Roxis is being mean to me."

"I am not being mean to you!" came the indignant cry.

She blinked. Slowly. "Huh. But I thought Vayne was the one yelling at you. Did… getting shrunk… mess with your head or something? See, the blonde jerkface is Roxis…" Funny, Vayne twitched a bit at that. She continued, using the tone of voice one would with a small child. Which Jess seemed to be right now, for some reason. "And the kid with silver hair who was yelling at you is Vayne."

Jess stuck her tongue out at Nikki. "I know that, meanie. It's just that…"

"Return us to normal this instant," Vayne snapped. Next to him, Roxis nodded fervently.

One of Nikki's ears flicked restlessly. Yes, this was getting to be a confusing headache. "…Jess. Out with it; what did you do. And make it quick before those two confuse me even more. Why are you a midget. Why are they… acting… like that."

The other girl looked back and forth at the three assembled and bit her lip. "Um, okay then. See, I was testing out some new medicines and things–"

There. That explained it all. She could just walk away now, confident that she had at least tried to see what was wrong and do something if possible. Which she couldn't.

…But those eyes. Jess was looking at all of them with the most pitiful looking eyes ever and it wasn't faaaaiir. Maybe she should tell Jess to stay away from Pamela. Or maybe it was just a side effect of getting turned into a midget.

Jess continued, oblivious to Nikki's train of thought. "So the first one did this to me; it made me younger but I think it's temporary!"

"…You think."

The child put her hands on her hips and pouted. "Yes, Nikki, I think. If it's not temporary then it shouldn't be too hard to undo since the potion wasn't all that complicated."

"And those two?" She pointed at the scowling Vayne and the… not-scowling Roxis, who both sighed in tandem as she asked that.

"We told you already; she laced our food."

"Oh. Right then. …So, if you tested it Jess, how come nothing happened to you?"

Jess huffed. "I was getting to that. It seems like it works when two people- or more," she muttered to herself, "ingest it at around the same time."

"…Aaaannndddd…?"

"I guess that it causes some kind of reaction that well… kinda…" She trailed off into a sheepish mumble. The beastgirl could catch a few snippets of words here or there, like "minds," "transfer," and "bodies," but…

"…Huhwhattiewha? Say that again…?" She couldn't be…

"Let me repeat it in a way that even you will be able to understand," Vayne commented dryly. "We've swapped bodies. That is, if that is indeed what Jess was trying to get at."

"…And we're not too sure what else that might mean for us yet," added Roxis, who was looking rather uncertain about the whole affair.

Nikki stared.

"So… You're telling me you're Roxis…" Here, she pointed at Vayne. "And you're Vayne…?" Pointing to Roxis. They both nodded.

"We think so, at least. It's only a little offsetting to be staring into a face you know is yours."

Well, it could be worse, right? At least, it was only Vayne and Roxis, who were used to having to deal with Jess' potions, whether they liked it or not and…

Oh no.

"…Jess. No one else was… affected by this, right?"

The child suddenly seemed to take an interest in her hands. "Weeellll…"

Poor Nikki was quite sure she'd gone insane when Anna stalked into the workshop, muttering things that sounded something like "stupid earthling" and "world domination."

"Jess, you didn't."

She really should've listened to her instincts, she muttered to herself. That much was obvious when the rest of the workshop filtered in.

---

"I demand that you begin work on fixing this situation—"

"Calm down, calm down…"

"Jess, what have you done?"

"I want Teddy!"

"A prince should not have to suffer through being in the body of a mere human!"

"Yeah, yeah, tell it to someone who cares…"

"This is interesting, but this form isn't very suitable for my… activities."

"As if! You are in the body of one of the most advanced—"

"Thing, shut up already!"

---

After Jess and Nikki had managed to (mostly) calm everyone down (the alien prince was still sulking) and assured them that she would be working on an antidote (Roxis had finally settled down at that) and that it should be done by next week (that not so much, and not even Vayne's efforts could calm him– and quite frankly a good lot of the workshop was inclined to join him), the workshop went their own ways, keeping a close watch on their bodies (or at least shooting a meaningful look at whoever possessed their body at the moment) and… discussing plans.

---

"So. Um." It was strange, seeing such an expression on the blonde's face, and much more so considering as how it was his body.

"Yes?" He was quite proud of the way he managed to affect a disinterested tone.

"What are we going to do about our classes?"

And then realization dawned on them.

---

"So… what'd I put in that potion anyway…?" Jess murmured to herself as she looked through the stores of ingredients in her bag. "Maybe I can…"

But after picking out a few ingredients at random, there was another problem. The room was so… big…

"Nikki?"

The beastgirl, who had been lounging around on the couch in the loft, blinked blearily as she was roused out of sleep. "Nyaaa? What is it, Jess?"

"Can you pick me up?"

"What? Hey, just 'cause you're a kid now does not mean you can order us around and expect us to follow like a spoilt little–"

"Nikki." The (comically) serious tone in the child's voice made her stop. "I can't reach the cauldron."

"…Oh, you have got to be kidding me…"

---

Pamela was decidedly not happy.

For one thing, she couldn't call on her friends for comfort. For another, she didn't have Teddy.

And the worst part of it was that she was stuck in Flay's body. She felt horrible. She was dealing with things that she'd hadn't needed to for centuries! And things that she never should have needed to deal with.

She just wanted to go back to the library and sleep.

The fastest way would be to cut through the classrooms…

But as she rubbed her head after colliding headfirst into the wall, she realized that wasn't quite an option.

Oh yes. She wasn't happy at all.

---

"Look, you are in my body- a prince's body. As such you will need to retain some measure of dignity. That means that you are not to go gallivanting around like you do normally."

"Hmph. Keep your trivial self-image concerns to yourself. I have a job to do! Can you not hear the cries of the innocent as they are waylaid by the ill-intentioned?!"

---

Anna, to her credit, dealt with the situation with a practiced calm. It wouldn't last forever, she reasoned, and it wasn't quite the disaster that some of the other members of the atelier were making it out to be.

Still, some of the students and faculty couldn't help but gawk as she made her way down the hallways of the school, astonished that she, one, wasn't floating, and two, was actually bothering to use the hallways (or at least visibly).

And then even more were shocked at how the Resource Center was suddenly easy to search through, with all the books and papers lying around having been collected and placed in their proper places. Some would swear that the new sense of organization about the place actually made it harder to find things.

---

Well, at least she still didn't have to go to classes. At least that was the one good thing about being stuck in Flay's body. Nobody knew where he went, so she could just hole up somewhere until this horrible, horrible affair was over. If Jess knew what was good for her, she'd hurry up with that antidote.

…She wondered what would happen if she decided to walk around campus wearing things that were closer to her normal attire.

---

When the disheveled looking blonde showed up knocking on his door in the morning, he was already awake and finishing up the homework that they needed to turn in today. That said, the way that the other boy was fidgeting as he opened the door…

"Hurry on in," he hissed. "Do you have any idea what this looks like?"

And from the way the other's eyebrows furrowed in confusion even as he did as was asked of him, no, he didn't.

"So why are you here, anyway? And sit down; you look like an idiot standing there."

Vayne shifted his weight uneasily, even as Sulpher padded over to sit at his side on the bed. He mumbled something about "your hair, too long." Roxis thought he also heard something along the lines of "pretty" and "can't comb it."

"…You're serious."

The other alchemist nodded.

He pressed a hand to his temple, feeling the beginnings of a headache. Jess had better get that antidote done soon, or else…

---

When Martin saw Vayne pull Roxis into his room hastily (and in a vaguely suspicious manner, no less), he blinked twice, then turned around and headed back down the hallway to his own room.

Maybe Arkela was right when he told him that he really needed to get more sleep.

---

"You need to stop skipping classes! You're ruining me! How am I to get home if I don't graduate from the academy?!"

"Pah, who cares about classes? All you get from them are pointless lectures anyway! Besides, what with how this body is somewhat lacking for my activities, I need to work more than usual to make up for it!"

---

The passersby who witnessed Anna's attempt at choking Muppy could only shake their heads and conclude that the stress of being in that workshop had finally caused her to snap. Poor girl.

And then the sudden loud explosion that seemed to rock the very foundations of the academy itself caused them all to scatter.

---

"Jess, are you sure you're doing this right?" Nikki moaned, tired of being used as a footstool by the other girl.

"Of course I am!" The pink-haired girl looked down to blow a raspberry at Nikki.

"You sure? 'Cause I don't think it was supposed to explode like that… Maybe you should work on curing yourself first before everyone else, because I don't think my back can take a few more days of this."

---

Funnily enough, the lack of Pamela actively trying to scare anyone (or acting in any way remotely like herself) only made them more paranoid.

So when Anna drifted by a group of students, she had to tilt her head and look oddly at them as they cowered. Deeming it a better idea to just ignore it, she headed off to wherever it was she was going.

The hall behind her burst into a flurry of hushed whispers.

---

"Let me see the grade you've gotten."

The blonde blinked owlishly at him. "But we took the same class, didn't we? We even worked together on the assignment…"

"Just let me see it," he insisted.

"Uh, okay…?"

"…An A. Well, if nothing else, that's the least of my worries…"

---

The mixture in the cauldron sparkled as Jess added the last ingredient, and she smiled happily as she bottled it. "Hey, I think I've got it now!"

Nikki looked up hopefully. "Got what? The cure for everyone– Oof!"

"No, just myself. Now you don't have to hold me up anymore!" Jess cheerfully exclaimed as she drank the potion.

"…yeah, you're back to normal all right… ow…"

"Ahaha… Sorry Nikki…"

---

"Oh, the indignity…"

"Stop whining so much. If you'd pay attention, you'll actually find that the school thinks a bit better of you lately. By the way, the gadgets you have in here are quite intriguing, as well…"

"Hmm, really? Perhaps this might not be so– stop that; you are not to touch any of it!"

---

Hmm. If this was what Flay was out doing all the time, it didn't seem that hard. As soon as she made herself known, the naughty boys started twitching and staring at her with expressions of utmost horror. It was almost like she was trying to scare them. Except she wasn't.

"Stand down, in the name of justice! …Or else!" Pamela finished lamely. Honestly, what Flay did was so… cheesy… Like some of those old books in the resource center. "Cease what you are doing, lest you be smote by the forces of good!"

"Gaaah! What are you doing?!"

Oh. Muppy. No, Flay…

She tilted her head in mild confusion. He sounded so horror-stricken… "Oh? Is something wrong? I thought I'd be nice and try to act like you usually do… Am I not doing it right?"

"That is so… unmanly…"

Oooohh.

"This, you mean?" She giggled and twirled, letting the ribbons dance in lazy circles around her. "Don't you like it? I thought you needed something nicer in your wardrobe."

"That's not 'nice' at all! A hero is supposed to look dashing and powerful to strike fear into the hearts of his enemies! And you're not even wearing the mask to protect his identity! How'd you find out the Defender of Justice's secret identity anyway?!"

"It was kind of obvious, you know…"

That pout looked… so, so wrong, Flay thought.

The two would-be malefactors decided now would be a good time to skedaddle.

---

"Oh, Muppy, I've been looking for you."

"What is the meaning of this?"

"I follow a certain strict regimen in my training to keep in proper fighting condition, and since you are in my body, I expect you to follow it. First–"

"You can't expect me to do anything, woman, now let me–"

The sudden uncharacteristically severe look in the ghost's eyes alone would have made him hesitate, but that combined with the claws of the plush that she held at his throat reminded him just exactly who he was dealing with.

"I expect you to follow."

"…Yes ma'am."

---

"Jess, you are going to get that antidote done soon, right?"

"Um, well, I'm working on it. But Nikki, why are you asking? You didn't get affected by it."

"…Roxis… Vayne… Roxis… can be really scary sometimes."

"Huh? Why?"

"I dunno, he said something about girls refusing to leave him and Vayne alone now… Then he nearly started yelling at Vayne for sticking too close to him all the time and 'ruining his reputation…'"

"And then the molluscoid thing's been ranting about Anna being a sadistic drill sergeant or something like that, and I think Pamela's been destroying what was left of Flay's manliness…"

She paused.

"You know, I didn't know Ronnie was that good of an artist."

"What?"

"He was passing out like, a buncha copies of his drawings of what Pamela looked like in the dorms. I don't think Flay is gonna live this one down."

---

Naturally, when they met in the workshop, relations were somewhat strained.

---

"Um, you sure you're okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine, now stop following me around like a lost puppy…!"

"Pamela, please, I'm begging you…"

"Oh Flay, you don't need to grovel so, hehehe~"

"Argh, you need to stop doing that! It's just not right!"

"Muppy? Exactly what are you doing over there?"

"N-nothing! Nothing at all related to your satisfyingly gruesome fate!"

"And that's not suspicious at all, is it…"

"Jess, please tell me you're nearly done with the antidote."

"Well, not quite an antidote, but…"

"Then what exactly have you been working on?!"

"Roxis, calm down!"

"I quite agree with him! How long are we to suffer being in others' bodies?"

"It's not very nice, being stuck inside Flay…"

"Hey! Just what are you trying to imply? Perhaps my manly awesomeness is just too much for you!"

"Jess, please say you have an idea, because they're going to drive us all insane if this keeps up."

"Well, as I was trying to say before Roxis interrupted…"

"Hmph."

"I've been able to make more of the original potion that swapped you all in the first place! Anyways, if I can't just undo it outright, then maybe we could just use the potion to swap back?"

"It's a sound enough idea. Give me that."

"…You're sure that this was the original potion, right?"

"Ahaha, well, it should be…"

"…"

"Cowards, the lot of you! There's only one way to find out! Pamela, drink some of this with me."

"Wait. How come you get to go back to your body first?"

---

After managing to come to an agreement on the order to drink the potions in (Vayne and Roxis would go first, since they would be easiest to sort out, then Muppy and Anna, Pamela and Muppy, and lastly Flay and Muppy to get everyone back into their original bodies) they proceeded to do so, hoping that this would be the end of this particularly long-lasting mishap. They were all quite sure the school wouldn't forget about this for a while.

So there was much rejoicing once they were in their own bodies again.

But not really, since the potions? They came with a few side effects that didn't please those who had to deal with them very much.

Well, just one, really.

"JESS!" Funny, that voice seemed several octaves higher than usual…

There was a sigh, and:

"Well, I don't think we're going to be able to cover this one up… If only because it'll be rather obvious as soon as we go to the Athanor to make ourselves some new uniforms."

Any other cliched mishaps I should try my hand at? |D;;