.A/N: Didn't take too long, right? Right?

Recap:

"Bella, calm down. I…." But I never made it till the end of the sentence.

"No!" She screamed as her hands flew up to the sides of her head.

And then… Her seizure overtook her…

Stay Safe

Cover my ears

Leave all my tears

Tell me all this is a lie

I loved you for years

I thought you were near

But all you say makes me cry

BPOV

No! No! No!

Fight the memories!

Don't remember!

Fight Bella!

Don't remember!

But who was I kidding, I wasn't strong enough to fight this. I held Edward tightly to me, hoping that his scent would somehow drive these dark thoughts away but for once it didn't work. The pain of this memory was too much to be driven away by Edward's soothing scent. This memory was demanding to be played back. And it did…

********

I was sitting in my bed. Just sitting, waiting for Damien to come back from hunting. I'd thought that having his habits be so close to…Edward's…habits would cause memories to run wild through my brain, but I was wrong. Damien made everything seem easy and happy.

I stared at my books, proper up on my shelves in the most unorganized way. How I loved these books. How I hated these books.

Yes, that was the case. I hated and loved them. They were all classics. Romeo and Juliet, Wuthering Heights, Pride and Prejudice, Emma, Jane, Sense and sensibility…and so many more. They were all books based on one theme. Love.

That's why I loved them.

And that's why I hated them.

Love is a two edged weapon. It can make the happiest person alive, and yet it can make you loathe the thought of being alive. I used to be the first case but now…I am the second.

All books talk about how wondrous love is, how precious love is, how important love is…All great writers have tried very hard to put into words how amazing it is and how good it makes you feel but as hard as they tried, they were never able to do it.

What they also failed to write was how broken and lifeless it could leave you. I've read a lot of descriptions like 'heart wrenching' and 'agony' and 'lonely'…but none of them described the… the…the emptiness you feel once that loved one is gone. This emptiness that acts like a hole that engulfs you slowly, so that you feel every part of you departing, like feelings, heart, sanity…everything.

"Renee, stop now!" I heard a voice bellow from downstairs. My eyes snapped to my closed door. This was Damien's voice. What was he doing back so early? And…was he shouting at my mother??

I heard mom answer but her voice was too low for me to catch what she said.

"No!" This time it was Charlie who shouted and I heard a loud Bang on my door. Like someone hit it. And hit it hard.

"Dad?" I said my voice was still rough from crying.

"Bella, go to sleep, this is nothing you should hear," Dad said harshly and I felt my brows furrow. But if there's one thing I've learnt from all this, is to protect myself first then try to understand later. So…

"Okay," I croaked and pushed myself down to a sleeping position and tried to ignore the shouting outside my room. I did not want to hear anything else, I did not want to get hurt more. So I easily shut the sounds out of my mind and turned on the lullaby as I closed my eyes and tucked my blanket under my chin. Stay safe, stay safe, stay safe… my mind chanted with the melody.

But I never got what I wished for. Everything just had to be against me.

My door flew open and before I could open my eyes, I felt Renee standing beside my bed.

"Renee, get out of her room this instant!" I heard Charlie order firmly. Damien's face was furious and exact replica of Charlie's.

"Why? She's just being silly. I'll take the silliness out of her," her voice was slurred and the words she said would never come out of my mom's mouth. Not in this kind of situation.

"Mom?" I whispered, confused and a little scared.

She fell down on the bed beside me, making me jump a little. My small jump made her giggle and that's when I smelt it. Alcohol. I flinched back from the smell. "Mom, you don't drink."

"Phil's been a bad influence, as it seems," Damien noted with gritted teeth.

"Oh pish posh. Phil's lovely. Better than that cop's ever been," she threw casually.

"Mom!" I gasped. Drunk or not, mom would never hurt Charlie that way. I looked at him to see the pain held back in his eyes, "Char- Dad, it's not true. She doesn't know what she's saying."

"No, she does," he said fiercely, "she's saying exactly what's on her mind."

Oh. So that's why they were all angry with her. They were scared of what she might say to me in the absence of the filter of her mind. That thought made me flinch back. I'd rather be lied to than have the hurtful truth thrown in my face. I wouldn't bare it.

"Oh…um…Renee…I uh think I want to sleep now. Please." Stay safe, stay safe, stay safe.

"Sleep? You're going to the doctor with me," she said in a very high pitched voice.

"Doctor? What doctor?" I asked startled.

"That's enough, Renee!" Charlie's voice was sharp, and even I feared him now. Damien was at Renee's side in a second and was holding her arm, pulling her back.

"Leave me alone!" she shouted at Damien but he wasn't listening. He kept struggling with her, trying to pull her with enough force to make her move but at the same time without taking her arm off.

"Bella, don't listen to whatever she says," Charlie warned me while glaring daggers at Renee.

"Why?" she shouted in a strange slur, "Because you don't want me to brainwash her!" and everything was silent. Damien was still as was Charlie. No one dared to breathe or move.

"Brainwash?" I barely mouthed shakily.

"No, Bella. She doesn't mean it," Charlie started quickly but Renee cut him off.

"Oh to Hell. I do mean it!" Hiccup, "You're acting like this is the end of the world. He left you, he doesn't love you. To hell with him. If you don't want to get over him, I'll make you!"

"Renee, that's enough out of you!" Damien shouted, holding her back from walking to me.

My eyes blurred with tears as I stared disbelievingly at what was supposed to be my mother. My own mother wanted to brainwash me? Was I that unbearable? That unwanted? I drove her to the extent of brainwashing. I felt my tears slide down my cheek, and I still couldn't talk.

"Bella, Bella she's drunk. She doesn't know what she's saying," Damien said softly, trying to comfort me.

"But she thought about it," my barely audible voice said. Being drunk made you say what you thought about without any filtering process. My mom thought about this. "You knew," I whispered, my gaze shifting to Charlie. "That's why you were trying to stop her. You knew." I wished that my voice sounded accusing and strong but it wasn't. It sounded weak and pitiful.

"She doesn't mean it that way. She-" he started to justify, his gaze turning pleading. But I barely saw his eyes. I was shaking and my tears fell like drops of rain, but the difference is…they didn't wash away the pain. Only increased it.

"You knew. She talked about this before, didn't she?" My voice broke as I tried to push myself away from them.

Protect yourself, stay safe, protect yourself, stay safe.

"Bella be caref-" Damien started, pushing away Renee and running to me.

Before I knew it, I had fallen from my bed and onto the floor. Damien was right beside me in a second.

"Bella," he whispered gently.

"She thought about brainwashing me!" I croaked as I fell into Damien's arms and sobbed uncontrollably.

"Of course I did. What else can a mother do?" she shouted.

Charlie was about to respond but I found myself screaming painfully, "What kind of a mother would brainwash her own daughter?!"

"You're just a silly girl that-" but she was cut off by a slap on the face from Charlie.

"Do not call my daughter silly. We've had enough of your drunken thoughts, now leave." His voice was so firm and held so much authority that I wondered if he was putting on his badge. But there was no mistaking his tone. It said that if she did not do what he said, bad consequences will happen.

"Fine. She's not-"

"Out! Now!" And he slammed my door in her face. He came back running to me, I was still sobbing in Damien's arms. I couldn't and I didn't want to believe that she would think of such a thing.

"Bella, your mom…" Charlie started but I never got to hear the end of that sentence because my broken voice was loud and clear in the silence.

"From this moment forward, I do not have a mom."

***********

"Bella! Bella!" I heard a distant voice call my name. At first I couldn't comprehend that it was my name, but then it got clearer as did my mind. I tried to breathe in but there was something in my throat. I coughed and coughed trying to breathe. Water. I coughed again and again.

And my eyes flew open. The first thing I saw was a pair of concerned onyx eyes. Edward. He sighed in relief and put back something on my bedside.

Where was Renee? Where was Damien? Where was my room? Where was everything?

Edward seemed to see the questions in my eyes because his eyes tightened and he took me in his arms quicker than I could have imagined. His scent did soothe my now acquired headache and after a few minutes my head started to get clearer and I understood what happened.

"I had a seizure," I stated, wiping my eyes with my sleeve.

"I'm sorry," he whispered in my hair.

I buried my face in his chest and took deep breaths.

Did you see what happened? I thought to him. Not able to use my own voice just yet.

"I did." His voice was tight with pain. "I'm sorry. We don't have to talk about it now. We will when you're ready," he promised, kissing my hair.

I sighed in relief and closed my eyes.

It was just a memory, I'm not there. I'm here with Edward. I chanted in my head, soothing my now panicked self after a very difficult seizure.

"You're safe with me. You'll always be safe with me," he said in his sweet velvet voice.

Nothing else was said after. He just held me as my tears fell silently down my face. I had a mom that loved me, but that same mom wanted to brainwash me. It hurt me to know that she thought about doing that to me, and it hurt me more that she even talked about it with Charlie and that it was Charlie who had refused. If it wasn't for Charlie and Damien, maybe I would have been brainwashed after all.

I was lost in my thoughts for hours and my tears never stopped falling. Edward never left my side either. He just held me quietly because he knew I needed it. And I did. His arms made me feel safe. I felt calm, safe, protected. Even from my mom.

A/N: Soooooooo what d'ya think? Bad? Ok? Wasn't worth your time? New? Good? Anything at all? Please tell me. Nervous is an understatement to what I feel right now.

BIG THANKS TO MY BETA MEGHAN (dragonangeleyes)!!!!

Terry: Glad you liked your song cuz you'll hear it. A LOT!!! THANK YOU

Mish: thank you so much. Hope u like this one as much.