Disclaimer: I don't own Fairly Odd Parents.

A/N: Constructive criticism welcomed, particularly on characterization. If Losing Streak is on a losing streak, tell me so I can fix it. This fanfic is multi-chaptered so if you got an Alert for this chapter, you should go and read it from the beginning or else it won't make any sense.

Chapter 11: Not Spirit

"I'm the Norm the I-don't-know-but-I'm-not-a-spirit!" shouted Norm, "I have to grant your wishes, but trust me, I don't want too."

The human looked bewildered and fearful. Obviously, no human had ever heard of any mystical creatures other than spirits before.

"Honest," continued Norm, "I think."

Yurem, the human that had rubbed the not-spirit's lamp, thought:

A) The not-spirit saying, "I think" nullified it saying, "honest."

B) Maybe, he had eaten bad berries and was just hallucinating.

C) The existence of mystical creatures other than spirits was heresy.

D) The shaman would need to know about it.

So, he muttered, "I wish the shaman was here," forgetting what the not-spirit had said about how he granted wishes.

GONG!

The shaman appeared. He looked at the not-spirit with shock, mistaking it for a spirit. When he voiced that out loud, the not-spirit was quick to tell him that he was not a spirit.

"I'm not a spirit," said Norm in frustration, "why the heck does everyone forget that? Do you I act like a holy spirit of holy spirit-ness? Do I look like one?"

"You are better with words than my six year-old," replied the human that rubbed his lamp, "you float, you have a tail, you wear gold bangles. Do you need any more evidence?"

"I don't respond to sacrifices the way that people say spirits do," said Norm, "truth is, I don't get the point."

"Spirits like sacrifices," replied the shaman.

"I'd like them better if you actually sacrificed something useful, in a sensible way," replied Norm, "exorcise me. Who knows, maybe you'll set me free! That would be great."

Yurem was beginning to feel tired of the debate with the six year-old not-spirit. Meanwhile the shaman attempted an exorcising ritual, which failed.

"See! I'm not a spirit!" shouted Norm, "stop acting like idiots and set me free!"

The shaman then came upon the possibility that the not-spirit was actually a powerful malevolent spirit, so powerful that transcended the rules of other spirits, who had decided that he liked the form of a six year-old child. Setting him free would be a bad thing indeed, he thought.

"I wish you'd just go back in your lamp and stop bugging us," said Yurem impatiently, "now!"

GONG!

Norm was sucked into his lamp, one wish early.

The shaman confiscated the object, so no one else would encounter the malevolent spirit. He also decided to tell the story to the rest of the tribe. They probably needed to know of the powerful, malevolent spirit that didn't accept ritual sacrifices. Such things were definitely dangerous, all right. People would need warning about them, so they could attempt to protect themselves – if they could.