Author's Note: Thanks again to everyone. You've all been so kind in your reviews. Because of that, extended update for you, with not a lot of Inuyasha, but I'm sure you'll like it anyways!

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It had to be the worst Christmas Kagome had ever experienced.

She didn't want to be ungrateful. After all, her mother had cooked a good meal, her brother hadn't been annoying (the entire time), and even her grandfather had relented in his ramblings about warding off evil spirits to enjoy the holiday. The gifts were nice, the tree was quite beautiful (once Souta had kept Buyo away from the tinsel), and the entire day was laid back and comfortable. But no amount of presents could ease that sadness. No extra helpings of dinner could fill that emptiness. It was just there: a sort of dark void inside Kagome's chest that constantly reminded her of the loss. When she tried to smile, she felt guilty. When she attempted to laugh, it died in her throat. And Kagome hated herself for all of it.

At least her mother liked the rice cooker.

"Hey, Kagome. How was your Christmas?" asked Ayumi, later that evening on the telephone.

"It was nice," Kagome forced herself to say, and then inquire: "How was yours?" As Ayumi answered, Kagome found her mind straying a little from the conversation, focusing on the sounds around the house. Souta was playing DDR in the living room again and her mother kept asking him to turn it down from the kitchen, where the water was running in the sink. Meanwhile, Buyo ran through the house; his fat legs sounded like a heard of elephants running through the hallways. Not far behind this said heard of elephants, Kagome could hear her grandfather chasing after the cat, yelling that he had eaten the tree and was running off with parts of its corpse.

"Kagome?" Ayumi asked.

"Sorry, Buyo is eating our tree," Kagome said, causing Ayumi laugh.

"Buyo is quite the character," Ayumi replied.

"That he is," Kagome agreed, because there was nothing else to say.

"Well, anyway, I was calling because I wanted to know if you're up for some shopping," Ayumi said, now quite serious. She always became so when it concerned the after Christmas sales. Kagome had known the girl long enough to know that Ayumi was a bargain hunter. Kagome thought that her friend was so much of a sales-searcher that it had to be a disease. It was the one time a year that such a mild-mannered girl became a vicious, almost cutthroat shopper.

"I'm not sure…" Kagome said.

"Kagome! It's after Christmas sale time!" Ayumi whined.

"I know, I know," she said.

"Please come? Please, please, please?" Ayumi asked, knowing exactly how to get Kagome to agree. It just took a lot of persistence to stretch her patience thin enough.

"Okay, okay, Ayumi," Kagome relented, wincing as something crashed into one of the walls of the house. Buyo was still running, now on the upstairs landing, so Kagome had the suspicion that it was her grandfather.

"Yay! I'm so excited! Yuka and Eri are going to be at my place at seven tomorrow," Ayumi prattled on. "And you're going to be there too, because you're not going to ruin this for me." Kagome had no choice but to agree several more times, under Ayumi's threats that she would destroy the world if Kagome was late.

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Although the day would be long, Kagome had to begrudgingly admit that there were a couple bonuses to going shopping.

For one, Kagome's mother was so happy she was going somewhere with her friends, that she had given her a good hunk of spending money. Secondly, Kagome knew there would be no boys tagging along with them (or Hojo, she thought a bit guiltily), which meant a quiet day with only the girls. And finally, Kagome could shop for the present she hadn't had the chance to buy yet: something for Inuyasha. However, Ayumi was determined to shop in boutiques and other feminine establishments, leaving Kagome with only thoughts of what she wanted to buy for him and how she might be able to get away long enough to do so.

"I think this beret would look cute on you, Kagome," Yuka said, placing a turquoise hat upon Kagome's head. She looked in the mirror and made a face, which caused Yuka to laugh. "Oh, come on. It looks adorable." Before Kagome could argue, Yuka's attention was stolen with a loud declaration:

"I love this dress," Eri announced from across the store, holding up a sequined purple number for everyone to see.

"I don't think it'll fit you," Yuka called back to her, as she snagged the beret from Kagome's head and placed another hat there. It was something black and plaid with magenta feathers. Kagome glanced at herself in the mirror and wrinkled her nose in distaste, making Yuka laugh again.

"What?" Eri asked, stomping over to them. Her arms were already laden with bags from other stores. In her free hand, she held the monstrosity of a dress.

"I said I don't think it'll fit you," Yuka said again, removing the hat from Kagome's head to replace it with a canary yellow visor. "I mean, it's really tiny."

"Are you saying I'm fat?" Eri asked.

"No, I'm saying the dress is small," Yuka replied, picking up a bright orange beanie from the rack. She looked at it and shook her head, before replacing it. Eri watched this with a distressed expression, before walking away with a huff. Yuka took the yellow visor from Kagome and placed it on her own head, leaning over to look at herself in the mirror. When she removed it with a soft "ew", Yuka said to Kagome: "People get crazy at this time of year, don't they?"

"A little," Kagome conceded, allowing herself to select her own hat this time. It was a black military hat with two pouches. Kagome thought it looked cute.

"You look like a Goth," Yuka said, snatching it from her head. "No more black for you. What about some color?"

"But I kind of like black," Kagome replied, finding a black beanie on the rack. It reminded her of the one Inuyasha wore habitually. Her heart lifted a little when she realized that she would be seeing him tomorrow. The week had moved so terribly slow…finally she would have her reprieve.

"Why? Black is for Goths and people in mourning," Yuka said, taking that black hat from Kagome's hands as well. She replaced it with something pink, covered in flowers and rhinestones that made Kagome want to gag. It must have shown in her expression, because Yuka nudged Kagome's shoulder with a dramatic: "Oh, come on! Eri was right: you need some more color! Jeez, people are going to think someone close to you died!" The store felt very hot and suddenly, very small. Kagome closed her eyes and swayed slightly, taking in deep breaths so that she didn't pass out. She didn't want to think about the bodies or the blood or the graves. She didn't want to think about how InuYasha was never going to come through her window again, never going to ride on the back of her bike, never going to put his arms around her. Ever, ever again…

"I kind of like the black," Kagome said again, once she had regained her senses. With her eyes open, she could see that Yuka had turned her back to sort through a bin of hair barrettes and ribbons.

"What?" Yuka asked, not even glancing over her shoulder. Instead, her attention had turned towards Eri, who burst out of the dressing room in her purple outfit with a triumphant sound.

"Nothing," Kagome said, watching as Eri jumped up and down in excitement. The light caught each individual sequin, shining bright violet. It cast small circles of color upon the ceiling, the walls, the racks of clothes and make-believe things. Her fingers reached for the black hat that Yuka had put back on the rack. It felt solid, real in her hands.

"Nothing at all."

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After the traditional lunch at Wacdonald, they continued shopping

Kagome bought a few things in the course of the day: the hat, for one, as well as some new tights, two skirts, and a pair of shoes. All were dark colors of black, violet, or red. Her friends made fun of her for turning Goth and laughed without knowing the entirety of Kagome's pain. She didn't say anything, however, and allowed them to giggle at her expense. They wouldn't understand, so she quietly followed them from store to store, feeling like a ghost in a city of careless abandon.

While the three girls hurried into the nearest boutique (with the bright sign that read 75% off!), Kagome loitered outside, keeping her hands in her pockets to stay warm. She didn't want to go to another store where her friends would force her into one outfit or another and then try to convince her to buy it. It had been fun before, but now it felt meaningless. Kagome bit her lip, knowing that it wasn't like her. She had to pull herself up eventually so that she wasn't like this all the time. But it was so difficult and Sunday was only one day in a week that was too long.

Across the street, she saw a small bookstore. It caught her interest because of the cases outside, where people had stopped in their busy shopping to have a browse. Knowing that her friends wouldn't be done for a while, Kagome crossed the street and had a look for herself. Gold titles on small, red novels screamed love and passion in one row. Some science fiction names stared back at her in another. There were craft books, self-help manuals, gardening guides, recipes…Not even realizing it, Kagome had stepped inside the warm shop, perusing the shelves at a comfortable pace. She passed the graphic novels, the text books, and classics aisle before reaching a shelf filled with beautiful spines. Some were leather, others in imitations of animal skins. A few were solids. Others had prints of flowers and animals. The ones that caught Kagome's eyes were in shiny, bright colors. She pulled down a cheerful yellow one, holding it in her hands without opening it. The color was an exact match to that silly backpack she had carried with her all those years in the past…

Blinking rapidly to clear her vision, Kagome opened the book to find it empty. It was a sketchbook with creamy, heavy pages. Putting it back, she reached for another book. Inside, bold lines for writing stared back at her. The corners were decorated in beautiful Victorian patterns. Kagome played there for a while, opening and closing the journals to find that each one was as different on the outside as it was on the inside. But despite this, each book had several matches upon the shelf. Kagome's fingers stilled when she realized this. None were unique. None were without another just like it. It was just like the shoes on the train that all complimented each other and fit together so well. There was no room for a single player in such an unfair game of matches.

Except for…

Kagome smiled to herself, thinking of the red and black shoes with the frayed laces and peeling edges. They were the odd men out and yet…there was something so perfect about them. Her phone rang suddenly, startling her.

"H-Hello?" she asked, slightly disoriented. How long had she been standing there, looking inside empty books?

"Kagome? Where are you?" asked Ayumi.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm in the bookstore across the street. You guys can go on if you want and I'll catch up to you later," Kagome said.

"No, we're coming over!" Ayumi replied cheerfully. "Besides, there's a store that's having a great sale down the road. We all have to go and check it out!" With that said, Ayumi hung up and Kagome knew she would be dragged away in mere moments. Sighing, Kagome let her eyes roam over the spines again, spotting the identical colors and patterns amongst the mix. However, on the third shelf from the bottom, Kagome found a journal that was unlike all the rest. It was such a peculiar, familiar shade of red…

She pulled it off the shelf and stared at it. The cover was soft, plush almost, and it opened and closed with a snap shaped like a buckle. Inside were soft pink lines on white paper. A smooth red and gold pen sat snugly in the groove of the spine. Something about it made Kagome smile. Although it was surely not the only one of its kind, it was the only one upon the shelf today. It had no match, no secondary. The colors reminded her of happier times, but also the present time, where she had found solace in a stranger upon the train. His eyes were much like her hanyou's; as gold as the tip of the pen. That single shoe was as red as InuYasha's haori; it matched the shade of the journal. Kagome closed the book and snapped it shut.

It was perfect.

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She didn't tell her friends that the journal was for someone else.

Kagome didn't want them to ask about it, especially who it was for. It was bad enough that they were disappointed in her for the Hojo fiasco. The last thing they needed was more gossip and speculation on Kagome's "love" life. So, for the rest of that Saturday, as Kagome was dragged from shop to shop, her friends teased her that she was becoming a Goth; that she was going to write dark poetry about her teenage angst inside the crisp pages of the journal.

Although it wasn't hers, Kagome felt the compelling urge to write inside it. When she returned home, Kagome visited with her mother for a few minutes (showing her the articles of clothing she had purchased, which her mother apparently did not approve of) before going upstairs. It was quiet and she was left in peace to ponder exactly what it was she so desperately wanted to say. She sat at her desk for the longest time, staring at the blank pages, twirling her blue pen between her fingers. Whatever she wrote could not be torn out, so it had to be meaningful, but what exactly to write down was the question.

Then, she just decided to write what she could never say:

This is a token of my thanks.

I will never say out loud how much I appreciate you, so this will have to suffice.

Thank you. You brought me back from somewhere I did not want to be.

I hope that one day we won't have to ride the trains anymore. When that day comes, we will probably never see each other again, in a city as large as this one. But I hope that you gain something from the journey. I hope that whatever you wished for in Kyoto manifests itself. I hope that, even when years pass, you can look at this and remember me.

You said you wanted to write, so most of all, I hope that this helps you on your way back to inspiration.

Kagome

It was terribly cheesy. Her characters were awfully crooked, sloppy despite her best intentions to keep them straight and neat. Immediately, upon rereading it, she wanted to tear it out. But she could not ruin the pristine journal and was forced to close it, cheeks hot with shame. What would he say upon reading such an intimate note? She hoped that he wouldn't read it while she was in his presence.

Kagome thought she might die of embarrassment if that happened.

Opening it again, Kagome realized how stupid it was to write the note on the first page. He would have to read it, notice it, at least, when he opened the journal. Kagome bit her lip as she saw the note again, wondering if it would be so terrible of her to rip it out. Maybe, if she did it fast enough, it wouldn't leave any evidence…? But she realized that her words had pressed into the next page and that she was ultimately left to face the consequences of her actions. The worst that could happen would be that Inuyasha thought she was a crazy person…

She fiddled with the journal for the next hour, debating on whether or not she should just forget the entire thing and not give the journal to Inuyasha at all. But then Kagome found a way around her problem. She didn't have to tear it out, per se, but she didn't have to leave it so bare and open on the first page, either. On the inside flap of the journal, the first page could easily tuck inside of it without seeming out of place. It was probably so that the writer could keep their place in the book without a marker. With a sigh of relief, she slipped the first page beneath the flap, allowing the second to be the first Inuyasha would see.

Finally, it was time to wrap it. Kagome didn't use flashy paper, instead opting for a nice solid. Skillfully, she folded the paper around the book so that it came out even on all sides. She then dithered with it for a little longer before slipping it into her purse for the following day.

It was the first time in a long time that she fell asleep with a smile.

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Sunday morning dawned cold and snowy.

Kagome slipped out of the house at the usual early hour and hurried in the direction of the station. She did not want to appear anxious, but she was. The journal felt heavy at her hip, pulling at the strap around her shoulder. It bumped against her thigh with each step, reminding her of what she was going to do.

He was at the map when she arrived, breathless and heart pounding with anticipation. Even though he didn't turn towards her when she appeared, Kagome knew that he was aware of her presence. Nervously, Kagome stood beside him and shook the snow from her jacket, all while staring at the lines without thinking of a destination. All she wanted to do was go for a ride. A long one, so that she could think of how to approach Inuyasha with her gift.

"I think I want to go back to Kyoto," Inuyasha said. Kagome noticed that he was fiddling with something in his bag as he said this. Perhaps he wanted to take pictures this time.

"Kyoto would be nice," Kagome replied, following him towards the ticket machine. After purchasing them and walking through the sparse crowds, they found their train. Kagome entered first and sat down in an empty seat. She had to force herself to breathe when Inuyasha sat down next to her, just as he had done last Sunday. It was nice, she realized, when the train was moving out of the station and around the city.

It was nice to have someone beside her again.

They transferred twice. Kagome sat next to him on each train, not speaking. The two of them were content to sit and watch. She couldn't help but stare at his shoes: the enigma that seemed so close to having an answer, a reason, in Kagome's mind that she couldn't quite grasp.

"How was your Christmas?" she finally asked, when they were on the train going west-bound towards Kyoto. Out of the corner of her eye, Kagome noticed that his expression fell from stoic to sad. Then, it was gone, replaced with his usual façade. His shoulders shrugged. Nothing special, she gathered.

"How was yours?" he asked in reply. She shrugged as well, knowing that her hectic week and all the things she had put up with were worth it. Everything was worth it for these few hours of peace with Inuyasha.

"Nothing special," she said aloud. Her bag was resting against her thigh, the journal's edge digging into her hip, almost like it was nudging her. When he didn't say anything else, Kagome felt like it was a good time to pull out her present. It was a shocking red in the gray of the compartment, but he didn't seem to notice it until she pressed it against his arm.

"What's this?" Inuyasha asked, taking it from her with those long fingers she had to keep herself from staring at longingly. His fingertip fiddled with one of the edges, but he did not make to open it.

"Nothing really. I saw it and thought of you," Kagome said, as nonchalantly as possible, hoping he couldn't hear her heart pounding like a drum. "Happy late Christmas, Inuyasha." She watched, nearly holding her breath, as Inuyasha carefully opened her present. Although he didn't say a word, she knew he liked it just by the way his fingers caressed the outline, the buckle, the spine. Kagome added: "You said you wanted to write. This will get you started."

"Thank you. This is exactly what I needed," he said, with such honesty and thankfulness in his voice that Kagome felt proud of herself for purchasing it. She was also grateful that he did not open it. Kagome had a feeling that Inuyasha would have figured out her weak attempts at hiding her note if he had seen what she'd done with the first page. She suddenly felt very stupid about writing those words in the first place…Her right arm flinched slightly when something poked her hand: a small, plain green package.

"What's this?" Kagome asked, accepting it from him with a bemused expression.

"Nothing really. I saw it and thought of you," Inuyasha said, using her same words with the smallest of smiles.

"No really, what is it?" Kagome asked.

"I dunno. Maybe you should open it," Inuyasha suggested, making her blush with embarrassment. She made a mental note to never be witty again, because it always had a nasty habit of backfiring on her. As carefully as he had unwrapped her present, Kagome removed the paper to find a flat, white box about the size of a textbook. Blinking a few times, Kagome lifted up the edge and opened it. Inside was a fabric of the bluest blue Kagome had ever seen. "It matches your eyes," he said, making her heart speed up again. Upon pulling the item out, she realized that it was a scarf made of soft, silky cashmere.

"Happy late Christmas to you too, Kagome," he said. She was speechless at the gift. Not only was it beautiful, but it had to have been expensive. Very expensive. Worth so much that Kagome felt like she couldn't accept it…

"Thank you," she managed to say after a moment, before looking at him. "Really. It's beautiful."

"Like I said: I saw it and thought of you," Inuyasha said, making Kagome's cheeks feel hot again. She recalled that a certain hanyou of hers had been the same way with compliments: they weren't outright, but they were there, and that was all that mattered.

"Thank you," she said again, smiling softly. Kagome put it on, wrapping the indigo scarf around her neck. It was the softest, smoothest caress against her skin, almost like water, but warm and comforting. In a way, it almost felt like the silky strands of InuYasha's silver hair upon her shoulders…

"Thank you," he simply replied. They rode to Kyoto in companionable silence for the rest of the trip. As she absentmindedly stroked the smooth fibers of her scarf, Kagome watched as he touched the journal, almost as if he were committing every stitch and every design to memory. After all her anxiety and nervousness, Kagome found herself wanting him to open it and read her note. What would he say?

But he did not open it for the remaining duration of their ride and Kagome was left to wonder in the wake of their quiet if Inuyasha had truly meant to call her beautiful.

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Word Count: 4,012