Disclaimer: I don't own Fairly Odd Parents.
AN: Constructive criticism welcomed, particularly on characterization. If Losing Streak is on a losing streak, tell me so I can fix it. This fanfic is multi-chaptered so if you got an Alert for this chapter, you should go and read it from the beginning or else it won't make any sense. In addition, I allow reviews from people without accounts.
Chapter 18: First Escape Attempt
Norm had spent a year watching the humans. He now knew lots about their culture and general behavior. Enough to trick them? Of that Norm wasn't sure, but was impatient to escape, and thought that a year was a reasonable amount of watching.
He felt the unmistakable feeling of a human rubbing his lamp, and smiled. Time to trick himself free!
He funneled out of his lamp in his most incredible smoke spiral yet, since he was sure it would also be his last.
The human called him a malevolent spirit, and screamed in terror a few times. Norm smiled. This type of master was exactly what he was aiming for.
"Yes, I am Norm the Malevolent Spirit!" shouted Norm in his most impressive voice. "Quiver mortal, because Norm is out, and will kill you all!"
Norm smiled. The mortal was indeed quivering. Convincing the mortal to set him free would be a snap!
"However," said Norm, pausing for a few seconds. "If you wish me free from this accursed lava lamp, you'll be spared."
Norm expected his master to wish him free. Yet, no wish came.
"You're mine, spirit," replied the human. "You won't kill anyone unless I command you too."
Norm wondered how the human knew that. He supposed that he had influenced their mythology a bit.
"Or will I?" asked Norm, aiming fire at a random tent.
The fire was for show, and Norm would put it out if needed. He didn't actually want to kill anybody. Yet.
The human seemed to be mentally debating about whether to set him free or not.
"I own you," said his master. "Anything you do, I can unwish. I wish the fire was out."
Norm groaned. Why'd did he get a smart master? His plan would do nothing if his master were smart enough to foil it.
GONG!
The fire went out. His master smiled.
Norm groaned. He suspected that big punishment was coming up next. A year wasn't enough time to come up with a plan to escape his lava lamp, as this example proved.
"Next, I wish you were back in your lamp, and that I didn't own you anymore. You are not getting your freedom."
GONG!
Norm funneled back into his lamp.
He looked around, supposing that he had to get used to it, since one year wasn't enough time to learn enough to escape his lamp. He wondered if two would be enough then?
He supposed so, since he didn't want to wait any longer to escape. If escaping took more than, say, ten years, Norm was sure that he'd be super-ticked, since that would mean that he wasted his childhood trapped in his lamp, granting the wishes of idiots. Also, Norm wasn't sure how long his life was, so he wondered if he didn't manage to escape by the age of sixty, would he have wasted his life being owned by idiots, or was his life longer than a human's?
Norm hoped genies had longer lives than humans. If they did, once he was free, he could make up for the years that he had lost because of the humans. If they didn't, Norm was sure that he would be angry at whoever made the world.
He turned on the black box thing, with the long rectangle thing, hoping to watch some events that weren't happening to him, "TV" as the Events That Weren't Happening To Him called it. Norm wondered what a "T", and "V" were, why the screen sometimes showed weird symbols like that in boxes, and why the long rectangle thing had the symbols on it too.
He supposed that he'd solve that mystery later, once he was free.
Norm supposed that there would be lots of stuff for him to find out, do, and watch once he was free, and he couldn't wait!
Just two more years, he told himself, just two more years. Hopefully.