Warning: We are now getting into Zabby territory. If you don't like it. Don't read it. I personally think they'd be the best couple ever, though.
Ziva smiled, enjoying her self-imposed blindness. She had been trained, almost since birth, to never let her guard down but here, in the soothing dark of Abby's apartment, Ziva felt safe. So when Abby had turned on the movie, Ziva closed her eyes and decided to enjoy the evening in a different way. Thanks to Tony's movie obsession, she had already seen Jesus Christ, Superstar and felt no need to watch the action. Instead, she was relishing the wafting incense mixing with Abby's unique gunpowder perfume and the remaining scents of the Indian food they had just finished consuming. She felt Abby squirm in an attempt to get comfortable and smiled; she loved the fact that Abby was so much like a child and yet capable of the most profound thought. And, even though she did not believe in the main character of the movie, Ziva was even enjoying the songs that blasted through the stereo.
She felt Abby lean in toward her, thinking nothing of it. But when Abby pressed her back into the arm of the couch, face inches away from hers, Ziva's eyes flew open and she leaned into the kiss that Abby had cautiously initiated. After a few minutes of vying for the upper-hand, Ziva's tongue took control. Abby slowly pulled away, hovering just above Ziva's prone body, smiled, muted the television, and began speaking in a low, seductive voice.
"I missed you while you were gone, Z. A lot."
"I missed you as well, Abby. Also a lot." Ziva smiled.
Abby pressed her forefinger against Ziva's lips, smiled, and continued. "I know you noticed me looking at you in the shower this morning. And to answer you, of course I have seen naked women before. But never any who so closely resembled a Mediterranean goddess. And never one with whom I have actually been in love."
Ziva began to protest the comparison, "Abby..."
"Ssh. Let me keep going, Z, before I lose my nerve or, more likely, my train of thought. I've had a lot of relationships and they've all been totally sincere. But I feel different about you. When you left, I thought I'd be able to get over it; I mean, I've been through a lot of break ups before and I always get over them fairly easily. But the whole time you were gone I just felt like there was this huge whole in my life. I didn't know I could feel that way. Before you left, I told Gibbs I thought I was in love with you. And the thing is, I really do think I am. In a totally different way then I ever have been before. And I know I'm horrible at commitment but if you're at all interested..."
Ziva closed her eyes for a few moments and took a deep breath, only to find the warmth of Abby's embrace fading away. When she opened her eyes, Abby had scooted to the other end of the couch and was sitting with her arms wrapped around her knees.
"Abby, I did not mean to..."
"It's ok, Z. I didn't even let you respond to the kiss. I'm much to impulsive really, I..."
Returning the gesture, Ziva gently placed her forefinger on Abby's lips to silence her.
"Abby, I gave you the chance to speak. I would appreciate it if you would now allow me to speak my soul. I have never been in a relationship that did not have some purpose. Even when I was not sleeping with someone as a means to gain information, I have always had a dual purpose in relationships. But you are different. I do not want anything from you other than your happiness. And, like you, I feel empty when we are separated. This is an entirely new feeling for me and I am not sure that I will handle it well, but... Ani otach ohevet, Abby."
At this, Abby sprang on Ziva again and they were soon lying entagled in Abby's coffin with their clothes strewn across the apartment. They spent the next few hours learning every inch of one another's bodies, flicking lips, tongues, eyes, and fingers in an ancient dance that was new every time it was performed. Abby was much more aggressive and domineering than Ziva would have expected, but she enjoyed the role-reversal and was satisfied to follow Abby's lead.
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Ziva's first thoughts upon waking up were of Abby. She remembered the night with exquisite detail and felt that, for the first time, she was truly happy. Reluctant to open her eyes, just in case it had all been a dream, Ziva rolled over and stroked the soft, naked flesh next to her. Thus reassured, she slowly opened her eyes and gazed at Abby's sleeping form next to her. She then began to shift, disentangling herself from the pile of limbs, in an effort to get out of bed without waking her new lover but then remembered that it was Saturday.
I suppose it would not hurt to spend one Saturday morning in bed. After all, I did get plenty of exercise last night.
Unfortunately, despite her best efforts at stealth, Ziva's movement had awoken Abby. Ziva watched with affection as her eyes flickered open and slowly perused her body. Abby grinned, kissed Ziva on the lips and declared, "This is by far the best way to wake up. You gonna stay with me or am I going to lose you to the god of exercise."
"Mmm," Ziva purred. "Perhaps, just this once, I can stay in bed with you."
They lay in silence for about 10 minutes, enjoying the feeling of naked flesh and the sensation of their synchronized, slow breathing. However, Ziva felt slightly uneasy and eventually shifted up onto her elbow to look into Abby's eyes.
"Wha'sa matter, Z?"
"Abby, there is so much I haven't told you about my life. So many secrets. And I do not wish to keep secrets from you. You are far too important for that."
"Ziva, I trust you. I know that there are certain parts of your life that you can't tell me about. I mean, Mossad isn't exactly the most information friendly agency in the world. And I don't mind. Really. Well, I am curious, but I promise it doesn't actually bother me not to know. Like, it doesn't make me angry or hurt me or anything. You're doing it to protect me."
"Yes, Ahuvati, that is true. But... it is more complicated than that. I have slept with many people in my job and I will probably continue to do so. It is much more agreeable than torture."
"That's fine with me, so long as I'm the only one you love."
"You always will be. But I am putting off the true problem." Here Ziva paused and closed her eyes, attempting to find the courage to tell Abby her biggest secret of all.
"Z?"
"I am sorry, Abby. If I had known... But you have to understand. He was my brother and I believed him. The monster he had become was nothing like the boy I knew and loved..."
"Ziva, what are you talking about?"
Ziva cast her eyes down and, with a very small voice, said, "Abby, Ari was my brother. My brother killed your friend. And then I killed him because I couldn't let him kill Gibbs. Because he had become a monster. And a liability to Mossad. And I hate myself for what I have done. And for what I didn't do. I should have known. I should have stopped him...."
Ziva looked up at Abby, whose eyes were wide and unblinking.
"I am so sorry, Abby. I will leave now if you want...."
"Ziva, stop. I don't hate you; I love you. I just need a moment. Stay in the apartment please. I just need a minute to think."
Abby climbed out of bed, leaving Ziva feeling exposed and broken-hearted, afraid that she had just lost her whole world.
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Ziva lay curled up on the couch, staring at a picture of Abby, her sobs now quieted to the occasional sniff.
"Ziva?" Abby said, concern etched in her voice.
Ziva looked up to see Abby standing over her, the concern on her face matching that of her voice. I didn't even hear her come in, Ziva thought absently. I must really be losing it.
"Hey..."
"I will leave, Abby. I have a suitcase packed that will get me through a few days. And I can come get the rest of my things sometime when you are not in the apartment. I'm sure Gibbs will give me a day off to get out of your way..."
"Ziva! I don't want you to leave! I told you, I just needed a little while to think. Z, you can't control who you're related to. And besides, people change. I bet he wasn't at all like that when you guys were younger. Actually, it makes me feel better cuz now I can understand why you fought so hard to prove Ari innocent after... after Kate died."
"Abby..."
"Ssh. I know, Ziva. But I meant it when I said I love you. This doesn't change a thing."
"Thank you, Abby."
This time, Ziva initiated the kiss and it was much gentler and sweeter than the first.
There was still a lot that they had to work out, but Ziva was now reassured that they could.