Mission: Pimp My Hikari
Part 4 – The Attire
"Okay, we're not just looking for clothes this time hikari."
"Then what are we looking for yami?"
"We're looking for an attire!" Bakura smirked as if he'd just thought of something genius.
"Okay, then what are we waiting for? I've got a Scrubs marathon I could be watching." Ryou tapped his foot as Malik walked around a clothing stand, shaking his head in disagreement of them all. It was so hard to find anything good in the wide variety of shit cleverly mixed in with what little good there was.
"I don't know what would look best with you, Ryou. I'm thinking you're best suited for dark clothing, but you don't seem to like dark clothing."
"I'm not getting a choice here anyway."
"…Hmm. That is true." Malik nodded pushing clothing in the clothing rack. He saw something move within the circular rack and he turned his head and blinked. 'The hell?' He pushed a large amount of clothing out of the way and shrieked at the creature that jumped out at him giving off animalistic shouts of 'surprise!'. Malik and the creature tumbled to the ground in all the commotion. Malik was still shrieking like a shark had just miraculously hopped out of the clothing rack and decided to make him a snack.
Ryou stepped closer and looked down into the creatures amethyst eyes. "…Yugi?"
"Heya Ryou! I saw Malik and I couldn't resist giving him a little surprise!" The short hikari of the pharaoh grinned.
While Ryou worked to help both Yugi and Malik off the floor, Marik and Bakura looked at each other. Bakura spoke first, "Where there's one…"
"Yugi?" Yami's voice confirmed the suspicion.
"There's the other one." Marik whined. "What are you doing here Pharaoh?!"
"I'm with Yugi, what else? Besides I could ask the same about you and the thief here! Neither of you know anything about shopping. Which is probably why you fail to forge Seto's checks correctly."
"Oh and you can do any better!"
"As a matter of fact, I forge his name quite well."
"Wait, you steal his check books too?" Bakura blinked suddenly feeling very unspecial and…well…cheated on!
"He says that he doesn't spend enough money. I call it charity. Charity or not, who am I to deny free offerings?" Yami said with a smug grin on his face as he revealed a debit card with Kaiba's name signed on the back of it.
"Oh no fair! You get his debit card?!"
"Heh, of course I do. I went through the extra effort to wheedle his pin number out of him, I deserved this card for the effort I went through." Yami replied with a smirk.
"Damn you pharaoh," Bakura shook his fist, "One day I will get the advantage!"
"Dude, if we get his credit card, the pharaoh can't beat that!" Marik nodded.
"What's the difference?" The white haired thief folded his arms.
"Well you don't need a pin number for a credit card, and knowing Kaiba, he's probably got no limit on his cards!"
"Damn!"
"Well both of your are out of luck, because Jounouchi got the credit card." Yami shook his head with a sigh. Naturally his first choice would have been the credit card.
"Jounouchi!? How!?"
"Kaiba said he could have it, if Jounouchi promised to avoid him at all costs. Apparently he was willing to sacrifice some money to get rid of Jou."
"Smart guy." Bakura nodded.
"Are you guys going to help me, or sit and talk about who is scamming Kaiba of his money better?" Malik said with an irritable sigh.
"Actually…"
"No! I was being facetious. Come on, damn it!" Malik pulled both yamis by their hair. Neither of them appreciated the action, but did nothing to stop the hikari. "You're the ones who had the bright idea to do this. So you WILL take part in this!"
"Fine, fine! Just release the hair, Malik!" Bakura whined, gripping at his skull.
Malik released Bakura's hair and the yami straightened himself to try and reclaim his dignity in front of his arch nemesis, known as the pharaoh. He coughed and looked around, but paused, "Wait…what does 'facetious' mean?"
The blonde Egyptian smacked his forehead with his hand, "It means: 'sarcastic', Bakura!"
"What's going on?" Yugi asked, looking up at Malik. Ryou was only shaking his head and looking down at the floor in shame.
"We're going to pimp my hikari!" Bakura answered for Malik, "we were just talking about what kind of attire to get him. We've already deemed the 'emo' style out of the question."
"Mainly because Ryou already gets his ass kicked enough."
"I'm thinking we should avoid making him look Goth too," the thief added, much to the dismay of Marik.
"Aw, why get rid of Goth?"
"Because Goth looks retarded?"
"Oh yeah, yer mom."
"No, YOUR mom."
"No, MY mom!" Marik retorted, trying to trip up the thief.
But it failed, "YOUR mom!"
"…owned…" Marik concluded hanging his head.
Yami only looked at Malik and blinked, "I don't think I want to ask?"
"I don't think you want to ask either."
"Look, I don't think Goth would work for him! After all, if that means he has to wear stuff like this," Bakura said randomly pulling out a pink shirt that said, 'I wear pink, because my black shirts are all dirty', "Then I would rather dress him up in sunflowers and high heels. I mean seriously, I don't give a hell who you are, pink is NOT a man's color!"
"You don't give a hell? I've never heard that one." Malik shrugged, sorting through more clothes, while Yugi tried to comfort Ryou and keep the misfortunate hikari from repeatedly bashing his head against the clothing rack.
"I'm sure you don't want him looking like a scene kid either," the Pharaoh snorted, pulling out a t-shirt that said 'I'm in a band' and grimacing at it.
"Tch, I don't think that's so much 'scene kid' as it is 'poser'. Not to mention the only way that shirt would work on Ryou was if they tagged the word 'boy' in front of 'band'." Bakura snickered at the very idea.
"What about punk?" Malik asked, casually looking at a few other shirts, one of which had a large 1up mushroom on it.
"That's not punk," Marik replied, looking at the Mario shirt. "That's retro."
"Retro? Bah, that's more 90's than anything else." Bakura added.
"Isn't that retro?"
"Damn it…" He gritted, "That would make it retro."
"Man, look at you guys, trying to sound like you know what you're talking about." The pharaoh cackled at the two. "And Mario came out before the 90s."
"He's right…because Super Mario on the Super Nintendo came out in 1990." Malik smirked.
"Oh shut up hikari!" Marik grumbled.
"Oh yeah, yer mom!" Malik grinned.
"No, YOUR mom!"
"No, YOUR mom!"
"No MY mom!"
"No, YOUR mom!"
"…I hate you." Marik crossed his arms and pouted.
"That's what we'll do then." Bakura declared, ignoring the bantering of the other two. "We'll dress Ryou retro!"
"…I don't get a say do I?" Ryou sighed, knowing that it was even pointless to ask.
"Of course not hikari!"
"Damn it."
To be continued…
Leo: I almost feel ashemed of writing this story xD, but if yuo're enjoying it like you guys seem to then it's all good! Thank you for the reviews guys!