So grazie for all the niceness….I'm a real slacker when it comes to review replies, sorry. But if I see someone who had something substantial to say like: "Amanda, you are a dip wad, stop writing", I usually reply back with something like this: "I'm glad someone else agrees with me about the dip wad thing. I knew it was very obvious. Your honesty is adored." I'm taking my SATs (and will epically fail them cause they're harder than the AP's I've heard) weekend after next and will update on that Friday. Oh yeah, have I mentioned that I'm self-deprecating to the max? I have? OK, never mind then. And once again, I feel empty without a beta, so if you wanna make me sound coherent and stop embarrassing myself, then I'd love to have you as a beta. : )

Dedicated to the best reviewer in the WORLD!: starxedlvr. They said and I quote: "That was the most epic display of nerdiness I have ever witnessed. I loved every minute of it!"

Inspiration comes from starrynytex's "Boy In The Red Sweater" & sleepyvalentina's "Art After 5" but my story has a completely different plot. I just am shamelessly pimping out two amazing Geekward stories. : )

December 2009:

I had the opportunity to talk to Bella everyday since our little rendezvous and everyday, I realized more and more how much I really cared about her. I had been bogged down with an insane amount of homework and the stress of college finals, which was new to me since my high school didn't have finals, so I didn't get to spend nearly as much time as I wanted to with her.

We had decided that since we were just getting to really know each other (apart from the sex thing) that we weren't exchanging gifts for Christmas but regardless, I called her up so we could go have coffee at a Starbucks in Seattle.

She sat across from me with a glow and a smile upon her face. "I'm really glad you wanted to see me today, Edward. I've been so stressed with finals and whatnot and I haven't gotten enough time to spend with my sexy college man."

I sat there like an idiot with a smile on my face, holding her hand. I actually felt a little bit guilty that I still hadn't told her my real age but I figured if I could just get to the point where I was sure that nothing would break us apart, then I would tell her that I was really sixteen. We just sat there quietly for a while, just people watching before I gave her the little lavender gift bag I had with me.

"This is for you, Bella. I know we said we weren't exchanging gifts but I wanted to get you something. You are my girlfriend after all." She blushed a pretty pink to go along with the magenta beanie on her head. She opened up the bag to reveal a book.

She squealed in surprise and then hugged me in excitement.

"The Kite Runner? You remembered that I wanted to read this book? You're so sweet, Edward. Aw, now I feel bad that I didn't get you anything." I increased my grip on her hand slightly, just to let her know it wasn't a problem.

"The way I see it, Bella, I need to repay you for that night", she narrowed her eyes at me and made a very scary, kind of intimidating face at me and I quickly added, "Not that I thought it was out of pity or any sort of thing like that but because I got more than my fair share that night."

We both were blushing by the time that I finished my little soliloquy. Since the magical loss of virginity night, we had discovered that we were feeling a little awkward about discussing said sex and weren't going to jump back into it until we were sure of each other's feelings.

Bella made a nauseated face, put her hand to her mouth, and quickly dashed to the ladies' restroom in a matter of seconds. I sat there at our little table in shock. I had no clue what had just happened there but I, of course, being the eternal pessimist, imagined the worst. What if she was just sick of my nerdy little ways and was trying to escape peacefully without me making a public blubbering scene? What if she had the swine flu or something terribly fatal like that and died? What would I do?

I had just managed to calm myself down by the time she came back from the ladies', wiping her mouth on her sleeve.

"Ugh, Edward, I'm so sorry for ruining our first date." Her eyes looked so sad and disappointed, like she had messed up everything, that I just had to stand up and put my arms around her. She leaned into my chest and took a deep breath, smelling my cologne. She had told me once before that she loved the smell on me.

"Hey pretty lady, don't be upset. You probably just have a spot of the flu or something. It's not your fault. Why don't I drive you back to your dorm?"

She looked up at me with watery eyes. "You don't have to, Edward, it's only a few blocks away."

I held her gaze. "Bella, I haven't known you long but I would be terribly upset if I let something bad happen to you. My mother raised me to be a gentleman and a gentleman would drive a lady home if she were feeling ill. I-I-I don't think you're a noob or anything just because we're cutting our date short."

She giggled. "Edward Cullen, if there is one thing that could make me feel better it would be your conformation that I am indeed not a noob. You always know what to say to make me feel better, Nerdy Man."

I lightly pecked her cheek, gathered up our things, and left. A few moments later, we were standing in the hall outside of Bella's dorm holding hands.

I traced the profile of her face with my finger. "I don't want to leave you here alone, beautiful. I don't want to even go back home."

"I understand, but hey, I'll be fine. My roomie, Alice, will be back soon and her boyfriend is some sort of herbal remedy genius. They'll fix me up, sweetie."

I stood there with her, but didn't feel really assured that she would be well taken care of without me.

"Hey handsome, if it's gonna bother you so much, I'll call you as soon as I feel even an iota better, OK? Then we can reschedule our date or something."

I nodded my head thoughtfully. "I guess that's alright then. Merry Christmas, Bella Swan."

She laughed again. "Merry Christmas, Ednerd Cullen." I gasped and playfully shoved her.

"What have I said about that nickname?", I growled out.

She smiled a coy little smile. "I love you, Edward Cullen." She leaned forward and kissed me.

I started walking away before she yelled out, "Edward!" I turned around and looked at her as if I were asking her "What?" I chuckled and shouted out, "I love you, Isabella Swan." As I continued walking down her dorm's hallway, I could've sworn I heard her say, "Good, you better love me."

I laughed again and smiled the whole way home. That is until I reached my driveway and saw Emmett was home. Emmett who probably had his girlfriend in there making all sorts of disgusting displays of affection. Emmett who hadn't been home since the virginity incident. Emmett who had a penchant for embarrassing me in front of my parents. Great.

I mumbled all sorts of terrible obscentities under my breath as I shut off my car and shuffled into the house. As soon as I walked in, I heard a loud gust of laughter hit me. This, in general at my house, was a very bad thing for the nerdy boy because A) it confirmed that Emmett was indeed home and the car was not a hoax. Damn it, B) he had told my parents something embarrassing hilarious about me, and C) I was going to hear about it for the rest of my life.

I took a deep breath and walked into the living room where I was greeted by my father, gasping for breath and red-faced. In any other case, I would have been severely concerned for Dad, thinking he was choking or having a heart attack. No, in this case, I just wanted to actually have a heart attack myself so I could avoid this conversation.

"Edward, Edward my boy, sit down", Dad managed to get out once he stopped being in risk of asphyxiation. I obeyed and sat as far away as I could from Emmett so I wouldn't get the urge to kill him. Dad continued once I was seated but couldn't talk without giggling like a girl. "Ed- ha- Edward, is it really true that you ---chuckle, chuckle, chuckle, had sex?"

Once he finished his question, his stupid blonde head started quaking with laughter along with everybody else.

"No, Dad, your worst fears have actually been confirmed, I'm a Klingon", I deadpanned. I even made the Klingon sign for added effect. Unfortunately, instead of making things better for me like I had hoped, they started laughing with renewed vigor and at this rate, I feared they would run out of oxygen.

Only after the fact did I realize that saying something nerdy like that would have actually added to the humor of the Steven Hawking of Forks getting laid.

Emmett started wagging his finger at me. "No, no little buddy, I saw you. You were laying in bed, naked, with Bella freaking Swan. Unless you wanted to just "observe the female anatomy for scientific purposes", I doubt that she didn't actually bone you little buddy."

Since Emmett was just so goddamn funny, everyone roared with laughs once again. Great. I blushed for about the millionth time in a month. They were ruining my special moment with Bella, tainting my memories, just like that time Emmett used my authentic Darth Vader figurine for rocket practice. They were so proud of him for building a rocket that no one cared that poor Vader looked just like he did when he fought Obi- Wan on Mustafar.

Emmett, the ever-present comedian, continued onward. "How long did you last, Eddie? Did she laugh when she saw your baby penis, little Eddie?" As much as I would have loved to have been able to squeeze Emmett's skull until it exploded like in the cartoons, I channeled my inner Gandhi and remembered violence was not the answer.

Instead I offered a calm response. "Actually, Emmett, as much as it may surprise you, we had sex eight times and I lasted up to forty minutes. And, not that you need to know, but Bella seemed to really like my nine incher."

Everyone's mouths opened wide, shocked that the usually shy nerd was actually being so lewd and open. Then, my father, who was sitting to my left, offered out his fist to me.

"Fist poundies, man! I knew you were my son deep down." I had nothing to say after that awkward encounter so I just headed upstairs. I heard Rose smack Em as I marched up the staircase.

"Ouch, baby! Why did you hit me?"

Rose huffed. "Why did you taunt him that badly? Poor kid is embarrassed now and I know things about that boy that I never wanted to know."

My mother chimed in, "Well it seems like he really adores that Bella girl."

"He better not get himself in trouble with her", Dad opined. I had reached my room by then and locked the door behind me since Emmett was bound to barge in here and act innocent until he began his sexual interrogation. Yeah, definitely avoiding that shit.

I logged on to Skype on my computer and saw that a Pollockprincess was logged in. I grinned, knowing the exact reasoning behind Bella's screen name. Pollock was her favorite artist, the pop culture in his work just made her day. One day, I swore to myself I would purchase her an original of his to hang over the fireplace as we made love a million times in a night before the kids woke up.

I shook my head, promising to stop playing World Of Warcraft so late at night so I wouldn't have such stupid ideas in my sleep-deprived head. Bella immediately sent me a message.

Pollockprincess: hey pretty boy, did you get home safely?

LinuxPwns: yeah. I just had the worst conversation in my entire life.

Pollockprincess: really? What happened?

LinuxPwns: uh…kinda personal…..Emmett's home….

Pollockprincess: oh

Pollockprincess: OH! I take it you didn't tell your parents about us then…..

I hit myself in the head. She had guessed correctly, she was such a clever girl but in the process I had made her feel like shit. I was an epic fail.

LinuxPwns: no, I didn't mean it like that.

LinuxPwns: I'm not ashamed of you, I swear. It's just…..I'm kinda a shy person normally and my parents….well, I don't talk about girls to them. Until you, I've never had the reason to.

Pollockprincess: silly boy, that's better than what I thought. I mean Charlie doesn't know about you either, he'd probably shoot you, no offense. What did they ask about?

LinuxPwns: uh…about how sex was.

Pollockprincess: oh and what did Emmett ask about?

LinuxPwns: ugh….are you gonna make me say?

Pollockprincess: hmm…maybe. Lemme guess, Emmett thinking that you are not this…..sexual god, probably asked if I laughed at your light saber & if we actually had more than two pumps….am I right?

Damn, she was on a scholarship for a reason. She was so incredibly smart and she admitted to me before that she took psychology last semester.

LinuxPwns: right and right. First off, I'm a sexual god? Why didn't my family & I get the memo? Secondly, I love your Star Wars euphemism.

Pollockprincess: yes, oh mighty sexual god. And sooooo…..what did ya say?

LinuxPwns: to the first one, I said that you liked you know how long it was…..and to the second one, I said eight times, up to 40 minutes…are you mad at me?

Pollockprincess: what kind of question is that Edward? No, of course, I'm not mad. You know I told Alice, Rose, and Jasper all about it, I really had no choice, but I did.

LinuxPwns: And what did you say???

Pollockprincess: Hmm….how about you tell me the meaning of your Skype…you already know mine. ^_^

LinuxPwns: Uh, Linux is a computer program, like Windows only it pretty much owns Windows' corporate ass.

Pollockprincess: wow, in that case, I said that you were the best ever & that I loved you & from now on I wanted to take things slow with you. : )

I hate to admit it because it depreciates my recently discovered manliness but I almost cried just from one of Bella Swan's IM's. Fuck, I'm so emo. I started tinkering around on my iTunes. OK, admittedly I was making a Bella CD to give to her the next time I saw her and I was trying to find songs I could play for her on my acoustic guitar.

I noticed that Bella had been gone for about ten minutes and I had gotten extremely worried because usually she was very attentive while we were talking.

LinuxPwns: Bella? You still there?

No response. I went downstairs to find my family sedated by the television so I made myself a grilled cheese sandwich and headed back upstairs. As I walked over the threshold, I heard my computer ding. I checked our Skype discussion and sure enough, there was a message from her.

Pollockprincess: Edward? This is Alice, sorry that we kinda sorta have to meet like this but Bella is extremely sick. I'm taking her to a doctor & then to rest at my parent's house in Malibu for a week or so. I'm sure you care about her very much & if you love her like you say you do, then please just let her rest for a while. I'm sure that she will contact you when she's feeling better.

Pollockprincess signed off at 6:34 PM.

I felt really shitty that Bella was feeling so poor but Alice's message roused my suspicions. Bella was feeling well enough to Skype with me, so why did Alice have to send that message? Why was she being so incredibly rude to me when I didn't even know her? Regardless, I decided that maybe Alice had Bella's best interests at heart and a vacation in Malibu couldn't do her any harm. I promised myself that I would follow Bella's wishes but all the same, I saved the conversation so I could show Emmett later.

Christmas came and went by in a flash and suddenly it was New Year's Eve and Bella still wasn't talking to me. So in my crisis, I had Emmett read the conversation.

"Bro, hate to say it but she was so breaking up with you. But hey, come on downstairs, New Year's parties aren't the same without you to bully around little brother."

I stared dejectedly at my palms in my lap. I knew Emmett meant no harm, it was our little inside joke. He was a meathead and I was the nerd. We were comfortable that way but realizing that Bella broke up with me because I was a loser really hurt. Actually, it hurt more than all the bullying in the world combined. I guess I had no use for the CD I had made her now.

I decided to be a little emo and curl up in my room all night long and stare at my ceiling. It sounded like a pretty good idea to me. I was too contemplative to even play World Of Warcraft. I was generally feeling sorry for myself when my phone went off. Only five people in the world had my number and four of them were in the house, making texting useless. I scrambled to the dresser where my phone lay, praying it was her.

I did a little Edward happy dance and cheer in my head when I saw Bella : ) pop up on my cellphone screen. I flipped the Vertu open and eagerly read her message.

E, sorry 4 disappearing like that. I'll explain all 2morrow *$ by my dorm 12. B.

I frowned. That text message sounded nothing like Bella. First, she hated text talk as much as I did, so why would she send it to me? Second, since when did *$ mean Starbucks? It took me forever to figure it out even though I'm supposed to be a genius and all. The text that should have raise my hopes, only lowered them. She must've wanted to end it officially in person.

My thoughts clouded up my head as the clock chimed midnight throughout the house. Downstairs people were yelling "Happy New Year's" and were kissing and laughing. Not I. My year was already bad, and with this break-up, I only expected it to get worse.

Happy New Year!!!

AN- Many of you will guess because I am oddly obsessed with writing this sort of plot but never fear, I will try to make it fabulous. Songs I listened to were…….

Get Up-Mayday Parade &…..

Dirty Pop- N*SYNC. A total contradiction to the chapter but that's the way us New York kids roll. : )

Ciao for now….Review mucho. Love, Amanda. Question: What do you think the title has to do with the story? Hint: Edward does something in the chapter that has to do with it. : )