This chapter is dedicated to Romance4eva, because you review all of my stories, and that means a lot to me.

After dinner, we drifted into two groups.

Dad, Billy, Harry, Sue, and Leah were all in the living room talking about something or another.

Jacob, Seth, Silas, and I were on the back porch. Seth was playing with Silas in the yard.

Jacob asked me suddenly, "Bella, you work at Newton's place, right?"

I didn't need the money, if you could all remember. That's not the reason I took the job Mike offered to me. I did it because I had needed a distraction. Something, anything, to keep my mind off of a honey blonde with golden eyes.

I nodded.

He asked, "What are they saying down there about these bear sightings?"

I blinked and asked, "Bear sightings?"

Seth stopped running and glanced at us. He looked grave. "Some of the people around have seen this really huge bear. The reporters think we're crazy, but they're wrong. The bear is out there. Leah saw it once when she was in the forest near the coast."

I frowned, "Why didn't I hear about this before?"

Jacob cleared his throat uncomfortably, "Well, it was in the papers, if you ever read them."

I knew what he really meant. He just didn't want to say it. Four long months I hadn't noticed anything that was going on around me. I've been in a permanent and total sleep state up until yesterday.

I could only tell you what month it was because I have a calendar right beside my bed, and Silas has fun drawing a new picture on the new square each morning. Just look for the newest one, and you find the date.

I thought really hard to see if I could remember anything about this bear. I think some hikers were arguing over it yesterday.

I shrugged, "I think some guys saw it, but don't ask what they said."

Silas came running over to me, falling into my lap. He complained, "I'm tired, mama!"

The little attention I had been paying Jacob instantly shifted onto Silas. He was the center of my world, and that was never going to change.

I smiled and hugged him close to me. "Let's go ask grandpa if he's ready to go home yet."

I stood up and he relaxed into my arms and waved at Seth from over my shoulder.

Jacob opened the door for me and asked hopefully, "Are you coming back to La Push sometime soon?"

Today was great. My body was throbbing, but it was a little bearable with these guys around. I didn't feel like I was suffocating. I could breathe here in La Push.

I could breathe and not choke on all of the agony inside of me.

I smiled at Jacob and agreed, "I think I'd like that. When do you want us?"

He suggested, "Wednesday, maybe?"

I smiled a tiny bit, "That sounds great."

My alarm clock went off at six, like it always does.

I smacked it off and sat up, surprised to see Silas was out of bed. He sat on the floor by the window, and he had the calendar.

I asked him, "Why are you up so early?"

He smiled at me, "Grandpa says today is special, so I wanted to do something special."

I asked, "What day is it?"

It was the nineteenth, right? I was pretty sure.

Silas bounded onto the bed and displayed the calendar, "It's your one year birthday of being in Forks."

I smiled and corrected him, "Anniversary, not birthday."

He shrugged and handed me the calendar.

I felt my heart pulse with white fire when I saw a picture staring back at me. It was a small picture of Alice and Edward, taped on very carefully.

Today was the day I met them, and Jasper, one year ago.

The day I got a ride to school with friendly, perky, little Alice.

The day Jasper and I had the gym incident that started it all.

The day I still had dreams, and nightmares, about.

I felt my throat tighten and had to bite my bottom lip hard to distract myself. I felt myself starting to fall apart again.

I missed them all. I missed Esme and Carlisle. I missed Edward and Alice. I missed Emmett, and even Rosalie.

I didn't miss Jasper, though.

I craved him, my heart cried for him, but I hated him. He did this to me. He broke me. He knew he did, and he just left me.

Silas asked, "Well, do you like it mama?"

I smiled, and I died a little on the inside because of it. "I love it, thanks baby."

He beamed and bounced out of the room, down to the kitchen.

Only once he was gone did I let the tears fall. I crumpled back onto my bed and hugged myself, squeezing hard. I took a few unsteady breaths as I tried to fight off the ache that began to take over my body.

I was trying in vain.

I didn't think I would be going to school today, after all.

Things were bad again. Really bad. The floodgate was opened.

Two days ago I had accepted my losses. I finally had to admitted to myself that I was hurting over losing my second family.

In doing so, I tore myself apart from the inside out.

It was Wednesday. I had not gotten out of bed since Monday.

I was trying fruitlessly to fix myself. I was resorting to the one thing that I knew would work. I was trying to close my Jasper Box again. This time it didn't work, though. It wasn't just a Jasper Box that I needed anymore. I needed a Cullen Box, and I just didn't have the strength left in my heart to close them all away.

I ignored the knock on the door. Silas wiggled out of my arms where he had been snuggled and ran across the room, pulling it open. Jacob was standing there.

His big brown eyes were shocking to look into. He looked sad, sympathetic, and understanding at the same time. He looked years older then he was. That one look had so much depth to it that I didn't have a clue how much was possibly running through his mind.

He announced needlessly, "I didn't think you'd be up for a trip, so I came to see you."

I watched him as he walked across the room and sat on the bed with me. Silas bounced in between us. He leaned against my stomach and I wrapped my arm around him. His little hands played with my fingers and he glared at Jacob.

I realized immediately that he was trying to protect me. He could tell that I was weak, so he was stepping in as my wall. That made me smile a little.

Jacob asked me, "What's the matter, Bells? You were happy last time I saw you."

I didn't want to think about it, but I told him, "I was just remembering them, that's all."

I wished I could tell him more. So much more.

I wanted him to know about everything. How many times Jasper was here for me. How many secret moments the two of us shared. I wanted him to know everything, because then he would understand. I wouldn't be the only one anymore who knew.

But I couldn't betray their secret. Nobody could know what the Cullen family really was, not even a werewolf.

. . .

I sat up suddenly, staring at Jacob with large eyes.

Werewolf!

I had completely forgotten!

I was so caught up in everything else that I forgot the conversation I had last Memorial day.

Jacob looked startled by my sudden, erratic, actions.

He asked me warily, "Bella, are you okay?"

I just stared at him blankly. My mind went totally numb, I had no clue what to say.

My sudden shell-shock seemed to freak both of them out.

Silas tugged on my shirt to try and get my attention.

Jacob whimpered, "Talk to me Bella, please? Tell me what's wrong."

Today's fic is Sewing The Wounds written by The Lamb Loves The Lion. (I love you, Simba! :D) It's a heart-wrenching Jasper/Alice that sucks you in every chapter. It's my absolute favorite of hers.