This chapter is dedicated to everyone who suggested some JPOV chapters. Hence, this was born.

therecordwontstopskipping: I suppose if you leave a note, then it isn't kidnapping. Just make sure you bring him back, Bella needs him. ^_^

Jasper's POV

We had been living in Lensk for 126 days. Today was the nineteenth. It had been exactly one year since I met Bella.

I was lying on the couch, staring at the same picture I had been staring at for the past four months. The family photo Esme took.

Not the family, my family.

I had Silas sitting on top of my shoulders, and Bella leaning back into my chest as all three of us waved for the camera.

My whole being clutched with agony, like it did every time I looked at the picture. Glimpses of my most precious memories flittered through my head.

Would you like to go to the dance with me next month?

Did you suggest I skip school to take you for a ride in my truck?

Jasper, what are you?

Every second that I spend with you my life is literally in your hands, and you keep me safe. I think you deserve my undivided faith.

I would have put a flag on for you.

No, we can stay up here for as long as you want. I trust you.

Tell him I was running up your stairs and fell over the banister. It sounds like something I would do.

You heard right, Jasper. You can touch me wherever you want.

Just shut up and kiss me, cowboy.

We should go golfing more.

Well, dad, I adopted him. Jasper and I both did. Say Hi, grandpa.

When did you realize you had fallen in love with me?

One day it will happen. One day you will be my husband!

Jasper, w-what's going on? Can't you make the burn stop?

It's okay, Jasper, I know it was just an accident.

Please don't do this to me, Jasper.

I groaned miserably and tossed the picture onto the ground. Holding it made my hand burn with shame.

I'll never be able to forget that look in her eyes right before I left. The heartbreak.

I will never forget that impossibly horrible stab of anguish that seared through her entire body.

I hurt her. I abandoned her. I broke her. And for what?

"For her safety." I didn't jump at the unexpected voice. Edward was constantly answering my unasked questions.

I fought to hold myself together. "Edward, it isn't worth it. We should have stayed. I could have distanced myself just a little and stayed. We'd still have each other, then."

Silas would still have a father, too.

"Jasper." Edward sounded thoroughly scolding. "Don't be ridiculous. If you had stayed, they'd both be dead."

I argued weakly, "Alice never saw that."

Edward firmly reminded me, "Alice isn't God. She can't see everything that could happen."

I sighed.

He continued, "You saw it, though, Jasper. I know you did. You knew that one day, you were going to snap."

I didn't want to hear this. "Shut up, Edward."

I would not have snapped! I did fine for almost a year. It's wasn't until the blood actually broke the skin did I lose myself.

Edward kept antagonizing me, "You did lose yourself, though. You bit her."

I sat bolt upright and glared at him from across the room. "I let go!"

He shrugged. "You still bit her. How did it taste, Jasper? Did the life force of your mate satisfy your burning throat?"

I crouched down, coiled to spring at him. A fearsome snarl bubbled out of my chest, Knock it off, Edward! I'm not kidding.

Edward sprang off of the table. "No. You need to hear this, Jasper. You need to come to terms with what happened, or you'll never be cautious of it when you return to her. Alice has seen that."

I mentally flinched. Alice knew I was weak. Edward knew it. I knew it.

Twice now I had decided I wanted to give up and go back to them. Twice Alice had seen me attacking one of them.

I knew that, but I didn't want to accept it. Edward was right.

I was too aggressive right now to stop myself, though. Instinctively, I launched myself at my brother.

Rather than move out of the way he sprang and we collided in the center of the room. I pinned him down and clamped onto his shoulder. He snarled and jammed both feet into my stomach, kicking out and flinging me across the room.

The wooden walls of our log shack cracked right down the middle.

Edward rolled onto his feet and growled.

I jumped at him again, but he didn't have the chance to fight back. Alice got in the way.

Only, unfortunately for her, I didn't realize it was Alice until after I bit her.

My hot venom pulsed into her neck and she squealed.

I instantly released her and we both clattered roughly to the ground. Alice shot forward and grabbed Edward, intercepting him as he tried to attack me for harming his mate.

I knelt down, but it was in submission this time. I sent out a calming sensation, directing it right to Edward. His body unwillingly relaxed. His eyes were still black and furious, though.

Alice kissed his collarbone and promised gently, "It was not his fault, Edward. Leave him alone."

Only once I felt Edward's masked anger evaporate did I stop manipulating him into my bubble of protective relaxation.

I didn't take my eyes off of Edward when I asked, "Alice, are you alright?"

I could feel her discomfort. She was not used to pain, but she was dealing with it just fine.

She honestly answered, "It's not as bad as it could be. You didn't hold on long enough to inject a lot."

Alice gave Edward 'the look.'

My brother sighed, and then tried to make friends again. "I'm sorry about handling it that way, Jasper. You do need to think about what's happened, though. You've been avoiding it for too long. If you ever want to go back, you have to grow as a vampire. You will always be held back if you keep rejecting your mistakes."

I stood back up and crossed the room, sinking onto the couch again. "It's difficult to think about it. I hate what I am. I hate knowing that I am a bloodthirsty monster."

Alice sat beside me, gently settling her hand on mine. "Jasper, you are not a monster. You are a vampire. Vampires are supposed to crave human blood. Your past has made it more challenging to resist than the rest of us. Bella knows the risk. You need to stop being so hard on yourself."

I turned my head away from her, brooding. Maybe she was right, but what if she wasn't? What if I would never be able to be near them? I didn't think I could survive that.

Edward cleared his throat. "Jasper, we have to leave."

Edward and I had a job, here in Lensk.

This town had 24,600 people living in it. It was twenty-four times more populated then Forks was.

That made it twenty-four times harder to live here.

There was always so much blood swirling around me. There were people's hands cracking because of the Siberian cold; there were kids getting scrapes when they fell on the icy sidewalks.

I was stronger; I could allow myself to admit. I could actually stop myself from hurting those humans with bleeding hands and skinned knees.

We worked in a diamond mine. Normally, the miners worked alone here. However, because I didn't know Russian, and we were 'durable', the boss let Edward and me play with the explosives and explore previously uncharted tunnels. You couldn't do either without a partner, in case one of you got hurt.

People got hurt in the mines a lot. Twice I'd almost snapped at one. It explains the two new scars on Edward's arm.

Sitting underground, where there was no fresh air to blow away the smell of spilt blood, was helping me a lot. I had to suffer through the open temptation for six hours.

Those six torturous hours brought me closer to my goal of open resistance, without the help of Edward or Alice.

Those six hours brought me closer to returning to my family.

I sighed and stood up from the couch. "Fine, let's go."

Story I recommend is First Love Lost written by Oracle Vas. It's a long Jasper/Bella, and it is totally worth the time it takes to read. It's very detailed, and real, and it's easy to get drawn into it. Awesome fic people! AWESOME!