Thanks for all the love once again, guys. : ) This chapter's song is Okay, I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't by Brand New. It's pretty edgy sounding and all sorts of incredible. Other honorable mentions song-wise this chapter are: Seventy Times 7 by Brand New for Edward's story & Lullabies by All Time Low & SoCo Amaretto Lime by Brand New for Bella's story. Oh, and Drama Club Romance by Forever The Sickest Kids. I always promise myself that I will limit myself to one song and it never happens. : )
Any and all nerd shirts mentioned in this story are real and are on my profile. I don't own anything except for a really stupid dog named Bella. For your information, my beta, Georgia and I got in a war over chips vs. crisps in the middle of writing this chapter. See y'all at the bottom… : )
Mid-January:
This time, before entering my room, I made sure to knock on the door. I stood outside my room for exactly four seconds before the door opened to reveal Bella's beautiful, tired face. She had tear trails going down
her cheeks and immediately I felt like an asshole for running out of there earlier.
"I didn't think you were coming back", she whispered in a tiny, tired baby voice. She opened the door wider so I could see her entire body comfortably encased in a pair of my navy blue boxers and my baby blue Freud T-shirt that said "Yo Momma" on it. She followed my gaze down her body to my clothes. "Oh, I just missed you and I hope you don't mind but I grabbed your clothes."
Like a creeper, I kept staring at my clothes on her. It made me feel oddly possessive like I needed to take her into town with those clothes on and say "Yeah, she's mine". It was an odd feeling for me because I had never before felt the need to mark my territory, mainly because I had no territory but still, the feeling never existed before.
"It's fine, Bella, I hope I didn't wake you up. I just wanted to talk to you."
"No, you didn't wake me up. I was playing some Rock Band, wanna join?" I nodded my head yes and followed her into my room. She took the mic and I took the guitar. I let her pick the song and she chose Mr. Brightside by The Killers. It was moderately easy so I decided to play on expert.
"Wow, Edward, I have never seen anyone get that good of a score before, that was incredible!" I scoffed a little and puffed my chest out.
"It's not as hard as playing a real guitar honestly." Her eyes went wide.
"You play guitar! I never knew that", she enthused.
"Um yeah, I play piano and drums too on occasion." She got even closer to me than we already were on my small twin sized bed, I honestly had no clue why I had such a small bed. I had enough money to buy a bigger one. Then I felt Bella's skin brush against mine as she sat transfixed by me. Oh right, that's why, I now have this unbelievably hot girl living with me in my room.
I walked over to my closet and carefully grabbed my reddish orange Les Paul Standard that was my father's before I was born. He even actually had it signed by Les Paul. If this house ever caught on fire, apart from Bella and the baby, this would be the first thing I grabbed. Bella looked like she was going to have a stroke when she saw what I had in my arms.
"This is my first baby", I tried joking. I even got her to smile a little, "Actually it was my dad's when he was a boy. He even met Les Paul once before I was born." I paused there, stroking my fingers over the fingerboard. So many memories lived inside the wood of this old guitar. "When he met my mum, he was playing this on the grounds of his college and when he proposed, he played her favorite song on here for her. This was played at their wedding and at the hospital when I was born. He gave this to me for my fourteenth birthday and that was the second greatest day of my life."
She looked at me quizzically. "And what was the first?" I blushed.
"The night I met you." She gave me back a blush that matched my own. I started playing The Maccabees' song Toothpaste Kisses on the guitar. She snuggled into my side as I crooned out the lyrics to her.
Cradle me, I'll cradle you.
I'll win your heart with a *whit-woo*
Pulling shapes just for your eyes
So with toothpaste kisses and lines,
I'll be yours and you'll be.
Lay with me, I'll lay with you.
We'll do the things that lovers do.
I'll put the stars in your eyes,
So with heart shaped bruises and late night kisses
Divine.
"Wow, that's really beautiful Edward. So what did you want to talk about?" I scratched my head.
"I've got an idea. You give me a song to play and you give me a story of yours to go with it and I'll do the same. Then we can talk about the baby and all that jazz."
She rubbed her little growing belly fondly. "OK, umm I guess my songs would be Lullabies by All Time Low and SoCo Amaretto Lime by Brand New. Do you know them?" I laughed.
"Bella, when you have no social life, you know all the songs in the world." I started playing and she began her story.
"Before you there was only one person and my experiences with him had made it impossible for me to be with anyone else for the longest time. I was your age, sixteen, when I met him. He was my cousin, Victoria's ex-boyfriend. He seemed charming to all the other ladies there but his rude comments didn't fool me any.
I remember that first night, I bet him in strip poker and he woke up the next morning slumped across the threshold of my room and he asked to go to a concert with him. I fell in love that day. Now, maybe it was terribly impractical to be dating a eighteen year old guy but I really felt a connection to him. We weren't any sort of serious thing at all but I did love him.
We ended making up and breaking up all the time over the course of a year because he was kinda this manwhore but I still trusted him and loved him. He, Jacob, was the first person who ever gave me the time of day and I thought the sun set on his every word.
He moved to France and promised me that he would call me everyday and even write me letters cause I thought it was so romantic. But he never did, he got married to my cousin. My little nephew, Riley and my niece, Jane are the only reminders we have left of him now because he died in a car accident when I was seventeen.
I know how this looks to you, like it was just somebody using me because I was young and naïve but the love was really there. A month after we buried him back here stateside, I got a letter from his French friend, Laurent. It was a CD and a letter from Jacob." She started crying at this point in her story but instead of comforting her, I continued to play for her.
"He said that he loved me still, Edward, that he regretted losing me and our friendship so many times. He knew he made the wrong choices and he wanted to fix everything. I used to think about him all the time. I still have the ring he gave me. Eight perfect little diamonds. One for every time he told me he loved me before I said it back to him. I didn't even think he remembered that but he did." She stared at the ring that adorned her left pointer finger. Whoever Jacob was he had great taste. The dainty finger looked at home on her fragile little fingers.
She looked up from her spot on my shoulder with big brown weepy eyes, she wiped the tears from her eyes until I removed the pesky things from her face myself. "You must think I was so pathetic."
I carefully sculpted my response to her in my head. "I think it must be terrible to lose someone that you love even if other people don't understand how you love each other. You're the only person I've ever loved and I'd be devastated if you ever left me in any way."
I grasped her hand affectionately and placed a kiss on the beginning of her slender wrist. "Do you really mean that?" When I looked into those soulful eyes, my heart was completely stolen. This innocent little temptress sitting here so casually with me was the only person I could concentrate on. I realized that maybe I had loved her from the start, science be damned. (Dear Science, please don't kill me. I'm still a firm believer. Edward.)
"Yes, Bella of course, I do." I practically licked my lips at the sight of her blushing pilgrims so close to my own. (Yes, that was a lameeee Romeo & Juliet reference.) I reached out and gently wrapped my hand behind her head and pulled my lips to hers.
I reluctantly moved myself away from her and started playing Seventy Times 7 on my stereo because I couldn't play, sing, and tell my story all at the same time.
"Last year, I was feeling pretty shitty about life because I had some anxiety problems and always felt alone in my happy, sporty family you know? Well I had this friend Chris, he wasn't the smartest person I knew but he was the fiercest friend I had ever known. He graduated and hadn't planned on going to college. I told him quite plainly that he was being a stupid knobhead and needed to get his act together. I went on a two week vacation that summer and when I came back, he was all of a sudden going to college.
Chris was taking a history course, American History 1800s and 1900s, which was exactly what my AP History the year before covered. I knew history wasn't his strong point so I offered to help but soon it became more like I was doing his work instead of him and I admit I said some things I'm proud of but he really should've paid more attention to our history teacher while he was in high school.
Chris blocked me on AIM, Facebook, and Myspace that night and at first I laughed it off. But then I got hurt because he had no reason to be mad at me and all I had tried to do was help him. Shock turned to anger when I realized that I had let another person take advantage of me and I decided I wasn't going to let it happen again.
Chris said a bunch of pretty nasty things about me and blocked all my friends on Facebook and even my mother, who had done nothing but show kindness to him. He tried to apologize to me a week later but I said it was too late to apologize. I still felt really terrible for months after that because I knew I didn't deserve what happened and I didn't understand why someone would treat me like that. I even had to make a new Facebook because he was stalking me on my old one. The whole situation just made me feel stupid, naïve, and weak."
She hugged me. "I'm so sorry that you ever had to feel worthless Edward, you're an amazing kid." I shrugged my shoulders and started playing Seventy Times 7 for myself on my guitar. Every time that I had felt like shit over Chris, I played this song.
Back in school they never taught us what we needed to know
Like how to deal with despair or someone breakin' your heart
For twelve years I've held it all together, but a night like this is beggin' to pull me apart
I played it quiet, left you deep in conversation
I felt un-cool and hung out around the kitchen
I remember I kept thinking that I know you never would
And now I know I want to kill you like only a best friend could
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
Everyone's caught on to
As if it happening wasn't enough I got to go and write a song
Just to remind myself how bad it sucked
Ignore the sun, covers over my head
Wrote a message on my pillow that says, "Jesse, stay asleep in bed"
Don't apologize (I hope you choke and die)
Search yourself for something with which to hang yourself
They say you need to pray
If you want to go to heaven
But they don't tell you what to say
When your whole life has gone to Hell
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
Everyone's caught on to...
(and I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
(and I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to...
So is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with
'cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish
I've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids
Have another drink and drive yourself home
I hope there's ice on all the roads
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt
And again when your head goes through the windshield
Is that what you call tact?
You're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back
So let's end this call and end this conversation
And is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with
'Cause you left the frays from the ties you severed
When you say, "best friends means friends forever"
Is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with
'cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish
I've seen more guts on eleven-year-old kids
Have another drink and drive yourself home
I hope there's ice on all the roads
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt,
And again your head goes through the windshield
(I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
(and I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to...
(I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
(and I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to...
Ahhhh!!!
She leaned against me as I sat there motionless, rubbing her little belly. "Edward, I want to keep our baby." I put my hands over hers, over our child.
"I could never want anything more", I replied sweetly. "Your belly feels pretty big for just eleven weeks and you should've already had a scan. I'm just glad that you're letting me be there tomorrow for the ultrasound."
She rose her eyebrows at me. "You're the dad, of course you'd be there." I went into doctor mode asking her all sorts of embarrassing questions.
"How's the morning sickness been?"
"Pretty moderate, I think it's almost done."
"Have you felt any cramping, spotting?"
She flushed. "No."
"Feel like your feet are swelling too much?"
"A little bit."
"Feeling abnormally in want of sexual activities?"
She playfully slapped my arm as she turned magenta. "Not really, Doctor. What happened to the shy boy that's my boyfriend?"
I grinned like a cat at being called her boyfriend. I had a title, I was wanted. "He really became a dad today. Does your back hurt? I'll massage it for you."
She sighed. "Oh would you? My lower back has ached all day." She laid down sideways on my plush mattress but not before removing her shirt to reveal that she had not worn a bra today and lowered the waistband on my boxers so that I could see the very top of her rounded ass and her cobra tattoo.
Please Yoda, I'm begging you, just use the Force on me so I don't pop a boner right now. Please, please, please.
I gently massaged all the kinks out of her back, enjoying the feel of her silky skin under my fingertips and the happy little moans she offered when I pressed on a particular relaxing spot. She fell asleep under my touch and I tucked myself into bed and snuggled behind her all night. I had never felt so relaxed and buoyant, I was glad Bella had found me and let me be a father to our precious little baby.
So, I teared up multiple times writing this chapter. The Jacob thing is true to me, you may have heard me refer to him as Alex. So is the Chris thing, he's actually my old FanFiction friend, Christie. Georgia and I actually did research while doing this one and fought over whether potato chips are called chips or crisps. Robert Pattinson was threatened and then propositioned (it was I, I will admit it) and we agreed to call French Fries and chips both frisps to clear any language barriers between America and Britain. We are great diplomats. : )
So those of you who know me from Memories, would anyone like the return of Reviewpattz and Revieward? I'll send them out to my most frequent reviewers for whatever you want them to do….Let me know! Review por favor, it means a bunch to me even if I don't reply back.
Love, Amanda and the most amazingly fantastic Beta in the world, Georgia; creators of the Frisps.