This chapter is dedicated to Sopranoandbass, because you finally admitted that the strings of your heart are slaves to my hand. *grin*

Before I could understand why, I wailed, "Jacob, NO!"

Jacob was going to kill Jasper. My Jasper.

My first love. The master of my heart. The core of my existence. The blood that ran through my veins. The very air that I breathed. My Jasper.

He was- is- my everything, and Jacob was going to kill him.

In the split second that he was faced with life or death, my entire world flip-flopped.

I didn't care about what had happened between us. If Jasper lived, we had all the time in the world to try and sort through the pain, and the motivation, and the sadness of the past. I could try to forgive him for breaking me. For taking away everything I knew and leaving me with nothing.

All it took was the knowledge that he could die to make me realize that I had been wrong all this time. I was in denial, because my mind thought that was the best way to protect me. I couldn't live without Jasper, not forever.

Jacob was my sun. I was his earth. I needed him for stability, so I was attached to his gravitational pull. I needed his light for mental clarity.

I may be Jacob's earth, but Jasper was my earth. He was the planet that I needed to revolve around. He was the special sort of gravity made just for me, to stop me from floating off into space.

I had tried to tell myself that he was nothing to me. I had tried to tell myself that I didn't need him the way junkies need drugs. I did, though, because Isabella Swan was totally and completely addicted to morphine.

My request, my plea, made Jacob's entire body stiffen mid-snap. His muscles locked up and he just froze. It looked like I had used an alpha command on him. I had seen it done that day on the beach, I could make the comparison.

I suppose it was the same as that. I was the one who Jacob was unshakably loyal to. In a way, that did make me like an alpha to him.

I felt my tears get larger and start to fall faster. My brain was screaming. It was warning me to be rational. It knew that Jasper had hurt me once and could do it again. It knew that Jacob was my protector and my soul mate- he was here to keep me safe.

My brain knew that, but my heart didn't. My heart was singing a thousand different tunes of joy because Jasper was back. My Jasper was finally back.

My heart made the decision my brain was too scared to accept.

I whispered miserably, "Please Jacob, don't."

Embry growled at me, and Paul started to fidget in outrage. They were upset that I was asking him to spare the man that killed their brother- because they knew as well as I did that Jacob was powerless to go against me. He was physically incapable of upsetting me if he could avoid it.

He didn't have to kill Jasper.

Slowly, Jacob lifted his head and took a few steps away from Jasper. Edward warned tensely, "Jasper, don't move."

Jasper remained on his back, propped up only on his elbows. His eyes were wide with anxiety, and a second later I felt a strong wash of tranquility settle into my body.

It was as strong as the blanket of peace I once knew, after I broke my leg.

Jasper was panicking, so he was resorting to the one thing he knew would keep him, Edward, and Alice safe. Manipulation.

Jacob glanced at Paul. He carefully walked around Edward and Alice, coming to stand on my other side as I cradled Jared's body. His body that would forever be stuck in this wild form. The werewolf body he would be laid to rest in.

Jacob glanced at me, and I looked back at him with a frown. He whined and flicked his ears to the east, where La Push was. Where my new-other family was. Where Silas still was.

He was asking me to leave the Cullen's here and go back with him. Go back home.

I felt my heart breaking and I blinked, causing the last of my tears to fall. Jacob, my Jacob, was begging me to choose him.

I lowered my head and bit back the tears, shaking my head. I whispered softly, "Jake, I'm so sorry. I… I can't."

Edward asked harshly, "You can't, or you won't?"

His voice was trance-like, and his eyes were trained on Paul. I knew that he was speaking the question Paul was thinking, the question I could not hear.

My eyes met Jasper's. He looked just as miserable as I did. More miserable, if that was even possible. I could see agony in the depths of his sweet butterscotch pools.

Jacob would not have imprinted on me unless he was best for me. That was what I always used to think, wasn't it? I always used to look at it like fate brought us together because we were meant to be together. Because we were soul mates.

I was wrong.

I was Jacob's soul mate, that was why he imprinted on me. I was the person who could make him happiest in life.

But I was not a werewolf. I did not imprint. I had to trust my instincts. I may be best for Jacob, but he was not the one that was best for me.

I didn't break eye contact with Jasper when I whispered, "I won't."

With a flinch, Jacob recoiled. I wiped my eyes and found some strength for my voice. "I'm sorry."

His big brown eyes locked with mine. They were not hard and vicious like when he attacked Jasper. They were my Jacob's eyes again. Soft, warm, pools of devotion. Edward whispered intensely, "Don't be sorry, Bella. I want you to be happy. I need you to be happy. Tell me what to do so I can see you smile again."

Tears pricked my eyes but I fought them off this time. I needed to talk to Jasper. I needed to feel his breath on my face. I needed his cold arms around me. I needed his gentle reassurance that everything would be okay between us- that we could make it all okay again.

I decided, "Go back to La Push."

Jared's parents and Kim needed to know what happened. Quil was supposed to be changing tonight or tomorrow. Silas needed his daddy to tuck him into bed.

Embry and Paul grabbed Jared's body and started dragging it off towards home. Jacob brushed his warm nose against my cheek and whimpered before padding after them.

I watched him leave. Every step he took away from me, a lash of guilt struck at my heart. I felt terrible for doing this. I did love him, and I knew he loved me more than the world. I knew that we were meant for each other, but my heart could not lie to me.

Jacob had the power to fix my heart, but it was Jasper and Jasper alone with the strength to break it.

I felt guilty about what this was going to put me and Jacob through, but I could not find a single ounce of my soul that was regretting my decision.

Jasper pulled his torn shirt off and wiped his face clean with it before dropping it onto the ground. I shakily stood up and looked at him.

For one long second, we stood there, because time seemed to stop. That second passed, and before I knew it, we were in each other's arms.

His arms held me close, and my body and face seemed to mold against his cold flesh. When Jacob held me, I felt right. When Jasper held me, I felt whole. I was whole.

He was my better half. He was the missing piece to my puzzle, and we were once again complete.

"Bella," he whispered into my ear. Those five letters sent an explosion of fire in my veins.

I felt myself quivering as tears began to fall. Hot, salty tears splattering against his chest as I cried again. Not tears of horror, or loss. Not tears of guilt. Tears of love.

Love that was lost. Love that was missed. Love that was found once again.

I sobbed, "Jasper, I missed you so much."

I felt his body stiffen as my heart started to throb with anguish. It was letting him know how much I had missed him. Letting him feel all of the pain and torture he had caused me.

His gentle hand rested on the back of my head and he held me close to him. He whispered soothingly, "You have me now, Bella. I'm not going anywhere you won't be. I'm never going to leave you again."

My entire body started pulsing with all of the emotion I had tried to lock away. The sorrow. The despair. The loss. Every feeling that had plagued me these last six months were spilling over with a vengeance.

I tightened my arms around him and asked weakly, "Why did you ever leave me, Jasper? You should have never left."

I shook my head and suddenly found myself spilling it all out. Everything I needed to say to him bubbled forward, and he silently took it all.

I hiccuped. "You broke me, and you hurt Silas. I was so lost without you. If Jacob hadn't put so much effort into fixing me, I would still be broken right now. You knew all of that, didn't you? You knew and you still left me."

I pulled my eyes up to look into his. I had to know the truth. No matter what he said, I needed to know why he felt he had to leave- even if he knew the aftermath would be so devastating on all of us.

Jasper's hypnotic golden eyes sucked me in and he cupped my cheeks. His touch was unbearably gentle. So tender that it burned my face.

He whimpered. "Bella, I'm sorry. I know it's hard to accept, but there was nothing else I could do. Alice saw things. She saw you getting hurt. She saw Silas getting hurt. What other choice did I have?"

And then he paused.

I realized why. That had been a serious question. He was begging me to try to understand. He was pleading with me to tell him what he needed to hear. He was waiting to learn if he made a mistake, if there really had been another way.

I took a moment to think about it. Alice saw Silas getting hurt. That was the thing ringing in my ears right now. Alice saw my rock, my little baby, being attacked by Jasper.

I felt a tremor of horror run along my spine.

Jasper had been right. There was no other way. He needed to remove himself from a possibly lethal situation towards our son.

I whispered, "You did the right thing."

His entire body relaxed and I watched relief flood his eyes. He offered me the tiniest of smiles.

I leaned upward and pressed my lips against his. He melted against my kiss and for one long second we were one again.

I could feel his love, his regret, and his sorrow- through that one gesture. I could feel it running through me as clearly as if it were my own.

He closed his eyes and lowered his head. I imagined if it were possible, tears of his own would be falling. He whispered desperately, "Bella…"

The silence that followed said more than he could have. It asked to be forgiven. It begged me to let him know that I was here for him.

I twined my fingers in his and whispered, "Jasper, it's okay."

His head snapped up and he looked directly into my eyes. I saw his love shining back at me. I let my free hand caress his cheek and I whispered, "Yeah, me too."

Today I recommend the story Conspiracy written by lp23. It's a dramatic romance between Jasper and her OC Madison- half sister of Bella. It's AU to the Twilight series. It's her first fic, people, go support her. :D

Also, go see my profile! Myself and voldemortperfumes are holding a contest. ^^