Penname: addisonj

Story Title: Mystery Box

Chapter: 9: Not-My-Boyfriend

SMeyer owns Twilight.

***

A/N: I had a bit of a mental moment yesterday, so I have to do a big shout out and huge hugs to my legion of handholders who kept me sane: Stretch, hotncold, Tears of Mercury, SnowWolfAlpha, and Aelyaniara. Big hugs and thanks!

Thanks to Project Team Beta!

***

If you love me, say I love you
If you love me, take my hand
If you love me, say I love you
If you love me, take my hand
And you can say I love you
And you can have my hand

North Dakota
by Lyle Lovett

***

The kiss. The sparks. The sex. Molly fell for him hard, but she was determined that last night was a one time event. Jacob was a fantasy. She could not comprehend that she could be anything other than a friend with benefits for Jacob.

After that crazy kiss in the bar, the frenzied lovemaking in the car, the climax on Jacob's bed, Molly just wanted to sit on the rocks and think. She loved the beach. She loved listening to the waves and feeling the warmth of the morning sun on her face. She knew she wanted to stay in bed with Jacob and have some more mind-numbing sex, but she was a coward. Well, not a total coward. She didn't run home to Seattle. He could find her if he wanted to, but she didn't want to do the pillow talk. It would make it all seem so ... normal, like they were in a relationship, if they stayed in each other's arms. Anyway, he went for a run and she woke up alone. It was probably a sign. He wanted to forget about it all too, this mistake.

So she ran a shorter distance. To the beach, to think and not think. She did not want to think about how this might impact the friendship she genuinely treasured with Jacob Black. She did not want it to impact how helpful he was with the project. She did not want to seem like a whore -- she had practically jumped him at the bar and he was the one asking to make sure she was certain she wanted to take that final, irreversible step. (Once you had sex with someone, it was like they were in a new category. She had had less than a handful of partners, and she knew all their names. If she saw any one of them in 50 years, she knew that the first thing she would remember about each was that they had sex. And now Jacob Black was in that small select group.) She had sex with Jacob Black! And it was good, so very, very good. An eleven out of ten.

Molly felt someone's eyes on her, turned and waved at Jacob in the distance. He stared at her like he'd never seen her before, then she heard a strangled, "Oh. My. God."

Jacob dropped the coffees, ran up to her, pulled her into a bone crushing hug, swept her off her feet and whirled her around. Instead of pain, his face conveyed joy; absolute complete and utter joy. It was as if the sun was showing through his skin. He then softly, tenderly, cupped his hands around her face and said in a deep husky voice, "I adore you."

His voice melted her to the core, but Molly was confused.

"Jake? What's going on? I'm really sorry about last night…" Molly stumbled over her words.

Jacob's hand caressed her cheek. "Never apologize for that. I've been waiting you for so long." He kissed her softly on the lips. "I finally found you. " His eyes looked deeply into hers and all Molly could see was utter joy. However, that just made Molly more confused because she had no idea why Jacob was so crazy happy all of a sudden.

"Jacob, I've just been sitting here on the beach. Where else would I be? I'm not lost." Molly didn't mean to sound harsh, but she was certainly puzzled. And tired. She didn't sleep much (and it was well worth losing sleep over; too bad the coffee spilled-- she could really use a cup right now).

Jacob looked at Molly and grinned. "No, love. It finally happened. I imprinted. And it's you! You're the one. You've always been the one. We're meant for each other. I've been so afraid of this happening, of having my will taken from me, but it happened with the one person I wanted it to be with." His heart was full and his eyes sparkled in delight. Her eyes widened in growing confusion.

Jake was gently, tenderly stroking her cheek and looking deeply into Molly's eyes. Meanwhile, Molly was trying to process this information the only way she knew how. Her brain defaulted to analytical mode as she tried to review the data available and came to a flawed conclusion. What has changed between last night and today? We had sex. This happens to Jake after sex. There were no other extraordinary variables that led to this result. But does this happen to him every time he has sex? He falls in love? This makes no sense, he's no virgin. If that's not the cause then, what the hell is it?

Jacob was continuing to look intensely into her eyes and stroking her cheek with amazing tenderness. He just looked so damn…happy. Like he won the lottery or something. No, like one of those freaking fairy tale princes after they kiss the sleeping princess and she awakens.

Argh! Molly just could not handle the situation. Jake's actions and words were flattering, but she did not wake up with the same reaction he did. She had just slept with her friend she'd been crushing on. She was under amazing stress and has not had a free weekend in about three months. She just broke up with her boyfriend of over a year. Oh, and she still has her regular course load. Plus PMS. As flattering as all this was, it wasn't fitting into her little box of How My Life Is and How I See the World, and Molly was having great difficulty with that.

"Jacob," Molly said gently as she moved his hand away from her cheek. "I don't understand this at all." Her eyes are full of regret. "I'm so sorry."

But then he held her close so that their foreheads touch, and looked down on her with such tenderness and affection that Molly almost believed it really was happening, he really did feel love, devotion and adoration for her. "That's okay. I know this is it. I know you're the one," he whispered to her. Molly really wanted to melt into his arms and have a Happily Ever After, but she couldn't, because it would be a lie. She wanted to return Jake's adoration and spin into each other's arms while a camera whirled around them and some pop song played in the background like it did in the ending of so many romantic comedies that she loved, but those were films and this was her life and she starred in it. Molly, with her analytic brain could not fathom what was happening, and she was thinking of all the implications on the project, Doctor Wilson's reaction, and the geographic distance. She was thinking of all the reasons why this would not be a good development right now, and they did not outweigh Jacob's adoration on her scale of pros and cons.

Jacob's eyes suddenly lit up and grabbed her hand. "Let's tell Billy!"

Molly was trying to figure out how to tell Billy what happened. Maybe Jacob is having a breakdown? Are there any decent psychiatrists in Forks that can help him? Oh God, does he even have health insurance? Wait, Billy's home? He didn't hear us last night, did he??

"Dad! It happened! And it happened with Molly!" Jacob ran into the house holding Molly's hand, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Billy immediately wheeled out of his room beaming. "Congratulations, son," he said, a big smile on his lips until he saw Molly's face and saw that Molly did not share Jacob's reaction. She had a forced smile and a hint of terror in her eyes. Billy's smile no longer reached his eyes, but he quickly forced one back on for Jacob's benefit.

"Son, Molly, sit down. Molly looks like she needs answers."

Jacob moved for them to sit on the couch, but Molly wanted to talk to Billy alone. She patted Jacob on the knee. "Can you make me a coffee?" she said in a sweet voice. Jacob smiled and leapt up, eager to help.

"Billy!" Molly stage whispered once she thought Jacob was out of earshot, "What the hell is going on? He's acting like he won the lottery, and then he says I'm the one and we're meant to be. What the hell is happening?" Molly sat on the couch and put her head in her hands. "I like Jake so much, but he's not himself. I don't understand him now. What do I do? Who can help him?"

Billy answered with soft, kind, sympathetic eyes as he wheeled next to her. "You can. You can love him. "

Molly shook her head. "Billy, people don't just fall in love! It makes no sense! I don't know what the hell is going on, but I care about Jacob so much and I don't want him to go nuts right now! I'm feeling a bit too overwhelmed with work and life already. I don't want my best friend to go crazy." Molly paused. Her best friend. Next to Karen, she suddenly realized that Jacob was more than her crush, her liaison, her lover, her friend. He was her best friend. Their time together over the past several months had led to that conclusion. Maybe something similar happened to him and he realized he loved her? If so, why can't it happen to her? Why didn't it happen? Oh, it'd be so much easier if she felt the same way!

Billy put an arm around Molly's shoulders. "He's not going crazy. He imprinted. That means he found the love of his life, and it's you. You're soul mates."

Molly gave Billy the WTF look. "Billy, pardon my French, but do not fuck with me right now. I'm having a nervous breakdown because Jacob has gone nuts and is taking me with him. I don't understand you at all. Love of his life? What kind of romantic bull crap is that? This is Jacob! We've known each other for months now. What the hell is an imprint?"

"Have you met Sam and Emily? Have you noticed how much they love each other? That's an imprint. Leah and Luke? Another one. Jared and Kim? Paul and Rachel? They're all imprints. Have you noticed how when each is around the other, it's as if nothing else exists and the earth's orbit has moved from the sun to their love?"

Molly slumped. Billy's tone made it sound like he was reciting the legends again. It was all this romantic crap she refused to believe happened in real life. Her hands curled into fists, mirroring her aggravation. Billy's words were pretty, but they made no sense. "Billy!" she whined, "I don't understand!"

Billy patted her knee. "Molly, how do you feel about Jacob? No—" he interrupted her "--don't tell me you have a boyfriend. Pretend you don't. Pretend you're a girl, he's a boy and you meet. How do you feel about him, from your first meeting until about an hour ago?"

Molly regretted not mentioning the breakup with Spencer earlier. Now may not be the time to say it. But she smiled as she thought about her time with Jacob. "Omigod Billy, he's gorgeous, he's funny, he's smart, he's handsome, he's the nicest, sweetest, gentlest, and most loving, man I've ever met. I'm crazy about him." She was suddenly shy. "I shouldn't be telling you all this. I haven't really told anyone, and this is your own son." Molly failed to notice that the coffee preparation noises in the kitchen had suddenly stopped.

Billy smiled. "Do you like him?"

Molly nodded emphatically. "Oh god, yes!"

Billy asked more quietly, "Could you love him?"

Molly felt her throat tighten and blinked quickly. "It…could ….happen….."

"Molly, imprinting is when you find your perfect match. The one you're meant to be with. It usually happens on first sight. It happens rarely, but tends to happen to those descended from chiefs. Jacob has been so worried about this happening to him. He's independent. He wants to decide his own life. He wants free choice. When he first heard about imprinting, he was afraid to leave the house because he might imprint on a total stranger. But this is the best of both worlds. He imprints on the person he already knows and wants to be with. Jacob has wanted you for months now. And now it happens."

Molly got up and started pacing the small living room. "This is all too weird. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to think. I don't want to hurt him, but I don't know what to do."

"Molly, we really like you. We know you're scared. We're here for you. We're here for Jacob too. Don't make any rash decisions. Don't say anything to Jacob to make him scared right now. Just tell him it's a huge shock and you need time for this to sink in.

"But Molly," Billy looked intensely at Molly, "open your heart. And give it time. I think the answer is deep inside of you. And when things calm down, when the project is over and life is calmer, I think this can work. I know this can work. And I think maybe, possibly, deep down inside, you feel the same way about Jacob."

Open my heart? Open my heart? But I don't know what my heart says.

Jacob came back with hot coffee. Molly wasn't sure if he heard everything; it was a small house, but as Molly glanced into his eyes, he didn't give any indication.

"Did you have a good chat?" Jacob asked calmly as he sat on the couch by Molly and slipped his arm around her waist. Molly looked quickly at Billy for him to respond for them both.

Billy patted Molly's back. "We talked." He winked. Then he spoke so quietly, only Jacob could hear: "I feel good about it, but she's scared. Give her room to breathe. She'll come to you when she's ready."

Molly started to notice a slight change in Jacob's grip on her waist. He seemed tenser, less joyful. "Are you okay?" she asked.

Jacob looked at her with love, and a little sadness. "We're good." He kissed her forehead. Molly suddenly felt regret. She was beginning to realize the impact of her reaction on Jacob, and guilt began to rush through her. She was ruining his happiness.

Billy looked at them both with love and concern. "You two need some alone time," he said, and wheeled himself out of the room.

Jacob and Molly sat side by side on the couch, their hands cradling their mugs of coffee. Molly stared straight ahead, but Jacob would look over at Molly's face every now and then, and then promptly drink more coffee. The happiness of before was being replaced with growing tension.

After a while, Jacob broke the silence. "Molly, please. Talk to me. Can you tell me what's wrong?" Jacob's previous exuberance was fading, and he was beginning to look a bit desperate, was this too much too soon? He remembered Billy's words.

Molly tried to keep it light. "Jake, I'm just really overwhelmed right now. It's all happened so suddenly. I'm totally speechless!" She smiled.

Jacob frowned. He knew Molly and he knew when Molly put on a show to make others feel better. He didn't want her to do that for him of all people. He faced her and placed his hand on her forearm. "Molly, don't lie to me. This is too important. We've got to be truthful with each other."

Molly looked down and tried to find the right words. "Jacob, last night was amazing! The best ever! And you're the sweetest, dearest, most wonderful guy I've ever met. "

"But you just want to be friends?" His tone was harsh. He tried to soften it, but his true feelings came out. He needed to know the answer to the question and felt as if his happiness depended on her answer.

"No! I mean, of course, we've always been friends, but not just friends! I'm just so overwhelmed right now! I don't know what imprinting is. Billy's words don't make sense to me. My brain is not functioning very well right now." She gave a wane smile.

Jake was getting angry. He loved Molly, but she was over thinking. "Stop thinking, Molly. How do you feel?"

Why are all these people asking me about my feelings? What is this, a fucking psych convention?

Tears fell. "I don't know what to think! We have sex, you get coffee, and then you get this peculiar look in your eye and talk about happily-ever-after or something. This is all too much! After our conversation in the diner, remember, we talked about love? I thought you were like me, you don't believe in romantic love. Love is supposed to grow. This isn't it." She faced him with tears starting to well in her eyes. Her look said that he betrayed her.

Jacob swallowed hard. He had wanted to tell her that he loved her, but he knew now was not the time.

"Molly, love, I'm sorry this is going so fast, but when it happened, and it just happened, I didn't think about your reaction. I just assumed it would happen to both of us. I've never been through this before, but with the others, it was mutual. And I do feel a connection between us. I felt it when we first met. I've been feeling it each weekend when we're together and each time we text and talk on the phone. But I've been holding it back because I know you're here for work. I know you're serious about your academic career and this project. I know you're in a relationship. I don't want anything like us--" he waved his hand between them "--to mess that up. It's important to you so it's important to me.

"And yesterday was great. I've wanted to make love to you from the moment we met. But when I saw you on the beach, it just happened, I know this isn't what you're looking for, but I saw you there, in the sunrise with your hair all windswept, and you're facing the sun with such calm and peace…and suddenly our eyes met, and I just knew I was home. I knew it was you. That it is you. That it's always been you. You're the one. "

Molly was about to cry. She had dreamt of someone saying that to her, feeling that way about her, but this all seemed to be happening in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Jacob, I am so lost and confused right now." She saw a shadow fall over his face. "But no, listen to me. I can't say what I want to say to you right now. I really want to tell you all the things you've told me. I really want that certainty. Oh Jake! You're the goddam best guy I know! You're also the funniest, sweetest, hottest, and most generous, too. I am so amazed you feel the way you do about me. And I am so crazy about you and respect you so much that I don't want to lie to you. Ever. I want to say those three words to you and have them mean something other than friendship, but I am so scared right now." Her eyes were moist and her lips trembled slightly. She dropped her eyes and looked at her clasped hands. She spoke softly, "I am so scared and I don't know what to do or say or think. I'm not myself right now but I don't want to ruin what we have. I don't want to disrespect your feelings, but …" She didn't want to say she didn't reciprocate his feelings. She knew she would hurt him too deeply, and she was hurting him enough already. Instead, she stalled. "Can you just give me some time? Some time to think?"

Jacob tried to hide his disappointment as quickly as he could. It was there in a flash, and it was gone again. He pulled her into a tight hug and grinned. "I care for you so much, Molly Martin. I'll care for you forever. I can wait a few more days."

Molly looked at him and smiled a genuine smile this time. "My old Jake's back! My Jake!"

Those last two words brought back bitter memories to Jake of another unrequited love. But Molly was not Bella, and Bella was a married vampire and living in Europe now. That was the past. This was the present and the future.

They hugged tightly. Molly leaned into him, feeling his warmth, smelling his woodsy aroma. She had a hand on his lengthy thigh, casually tracing a pattern on his leg.

"Do you know one of my commandments?" she asked suddenly. Jacob raised an eyebrow.

"No," he answered warily.

"Don't shit where you eat," she said.

Pause.

"Did you learn that in Girl Scouts?" Jacob asked.

Molly laughed. "No, silly! It means don't date at work! I've worked long and hard to be accepted into the grad school program. This project is a great opportunity. This –" she did the hand in the air between them movement "-- is a bit more than I can comprehend at the moment." She then held his hand tightly and looked up at him. He was busy calculating how many years until she graduated.

"Can we wait a few weeks until at least my field work here is done? And then figure out what this –" again, with the hands "—is? Ow!"

Jacob had swept her into another bone-breaking hug. He was grinning. "Of course!"

Then Molly knew she had to say something about Spencer. She initially did not want to get Jacob's hopes up, but now Jacob and Molly's relationship had taken this dramatic turn, there could be no more lies or secrets between them. She nestled back and rested her head into his shoulder. She felt comfortable there. He pulled her into his lap so that they could be even closer, relieved that the drama had passed.

"Um, Jacob, did I mention that I broke up with Spencer a couple weeks ago?"

Jacob startled. He no longer leaned into her but sat upright. "Really?"

Molly nodded. "Um, after that time on the beach. After the bonfire, I realized that I didn't want to be with Spencer anymore."

Jacob was afraid to ask the words, but he needed to know. "Did you realize you cared for someone else?" he asked very carefully.

Molly could not look Jacob in the eye. She played with the hem of her shirt. "I realized that it would never work between us. I just wanted to end it before it continued. We don't bring out the best in each other." She sighed. She was about to get serious and it scared her. She took a deep breath before she spoke. "I realized that since I've been coming to La Push, doing this project, that I'm a better person when I'm here. I treat people better; I'm kinder, and nicer and more generous. It brings out the best in me. I wasn't being my true self with Spencer. We always fought. I think those arguments were him trying to make me be someone else and I was resisting."

Molly stopped talking for a while and Jacob kept the silence. Molly hoped he would say something so she would not need to continue, but he seemed to know he'd get more information by being quiet.

Molly held Jacob's hand in hers before she spoke again. She played with his long fingers, comparing her paler, smaller, thinner fingers to his, seeing how his huge hands made her seem petite. She was not petite; she was as tall as Spencer and could wear some of his clothes comfortably. She knew that if she tried on Jacob's clothes they would fit two of her.

She broke the silence and spoke softly, carefully, speaking to the clasped hands, "I don't want anyone to be my rebound, and especially someone I already care about."

It was true; she did not want Jacob to be a rebound. Part of her broke up with Spencer knowing that she liked Jacob too much to really be with Spencer. Yet she had thought Jacob only saw her as a friend, a cute woman he could flirt with, but that was all. Today she found out that she was wrong.

Jacob's heart leapt at the good news: she cared about him! He kissed her gently on her forehead. "Thanks for telling me. So, what are we?" He waited. Part of being an imprint meant that he would be whatever she needed.

Molly thought for a bit. She bit her lip in concentration. "You're not my boyfriend. Dr. Wilson would probably take me off this project if that happened. He's a firm believer in separation of work and personal life."

Jacob moved his hand to gently massage out the tension in the back of her neck. She reclined into his hands. "Then I'm not your boyfriend—yet," he whispered into her ear.

And that was how Jacob Black became Not-My-Boyfriend (yet) to his imprint.

****

A/N:

1) Okay, this issue came up with a beta question, so I'll clarify here. Molly is not a ho. She's calling Jake Not-My-Boyfriend not because she likes to get physical with random guys, but it's reverse psychology. If she calls him her boyfriend, she'll stress out even more. So he's Not-My-Boyfriend, even though they have the same behaviors, actions, feelings etc of people in an exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend type relationship. (Same type of psychology works for dating. Just go to a party or whatever and try to get 5 rejections from guys. Somehow the exact opposite happens. Weird, but it works.)

2) 'Love for the Unloved' contest opens! Voting until Oct 14th and you get 5 votes! So check out my Rachel Black fic (as mentioned in TLYDF) as well as the awesomely amazing Stretch's 'The First Five Times', an Embry x Leah fic, that is smart and sexy and sweet. You know, the usual Stretch excellence in writing. Url on my profile.

2a) 'DILF' contest voting is Oct 7-11th. I wrote a humor Carlisle x Esme fic called "The Best Worst First Date Ever". Check it out and please vote for it if you like it.

3) HotnCold will be writing a Character Exploration of Sam and Billy on TLYDF, so she's looking for fic suggestions. In particular, Good Sam, Bad Sam, Sam x Leah, Sam x OC, Canon Sam, Billy, and Billy/Charlie bromance. Just PM suggestions to her. She's also the author of the excellent Jacob x OC fic "Love and Gravity".

4) Hugs out to my regular reviewers: Kyliez, Chellie09, Stephanie is amazzzing, Davii-Hime, Noelly, Dreamin'Big (apologies if I'm missing anyone; you handholders are included too!). And hi to you quiet ones who marked this fic as a Favorite even though you don't review. I really appreciate it and glad you're enjoying reading it.

5) Please review! I'll send a teaser. I'm also posting teasers on the Twilighted forum, to get more traffic over there. Url on my profile.

6) Back to the Thursday night update schedule (fingers crossed, depends on beta).

7) How can Jake imprint someone he already knows? Sam has a theory in Chapt 10.

8) The Lyle Lovett song quoted in the beginning is the most haunting love song I know. Check it out.