Everyone should send a Get Well Soon PM to Oracle Vas today. She has been feeling bad, and she could use a friendly nudge or two. ^_^

JPOV

It felt like my heart was being shredded into a thousand different pieces. Everything was just so, so wrong in the world.

Bella, my soul mate and my only love, had actually wanted me back. She had preserved my existence from the beast, and she had actually accepted me back into her life. Was that what felt so wrong to me?

No, it would never be that. Living this half-life without Bella was worse than any second death some werewolf could have inflicted me with. Honestly, if she had wanted to choose this Jacob character over me, then I would have been devastated with the fact she allowed him to allow me to live. I would have wanted to die knowing she wanted to move on from me. The sentence 'A life without Bella' wasn't a physical possibility to me anymore. What would I have had left to live for, if she was gone?

Oh no, it was not her accepting me back that made me feel slimy and disgusting. It was the way her decision was forced upon her. There was no chance for us to sit down and have a proper talk about everything. She literally had one fraction of a second of her being shoved across the line that separated my and Jacob's world. Did she want the vampire, or did she want the werewolf? She had been given no chance at all to sort things out and then weave her life in the direction she wanted. It was torn to shreds in less then one minute.

Please Jacob, don't.

Go back to La Push.

Why did you ever leave me, Jasper? You should have never left.

I have lived for entirely too long around every sort of emotional climate imaginable. I had not once, not ever, felt someone radiate so much hurt, and misery, and heartbreak.

Maybe it was because I was so attuned to Bella that I felt her emotion so strongly. Maybe it was because I considered her heart my most cherished of possessions, my very lifeblood, that I had been able to feel every single one of my nerves simply weeping with her guilt and her anguish.

No matter the reason, I knew the root for it. I knew that I was the very reason for her every pain. I was too weak to protect her. I was too scared to stay with her. I was too useless to deserve her.

"Jasper." Alice's gentle voice broke the hour-long silence. "What's the matter? You look like you just saw your own death."

Did I look that forlorn? I wouldn't have doubted it at all.

Alice and I were sitting at the border of Cullen/Wolf territory. The very edge of the border. In fact, our toes were more then likely on the imaginary line that sliced the territory right into half. From this distance, I could monitor them. I had a firm and accurate hold on both Bella and Silas's emotional climates. She made me stay here, but she never said I wasn't allowed to keep my third eye on her.

"This is stupid." I answered my sister sharply, though we both knew the sharpness was not directed towards her. "I should be there with her. No- better yet. She should be here with us. What the hell does she think she's thinking? Werewolves! Of all the things!"

My voice may have been hard with anger, but fear was radiating off of me so violently it was affecting Alice. I saw her shiver, and she started to jitter around where she sat. She paid no attention to the unwanted emotion, though. Her entire reserve of energy was focused sympathetically on me.

"She said we could trust them, Jasper. Don't you think that she knows what she's talking about?"

I glared at her, scolding her for her blind acceptance. "Are you just trying to make me more anxious, Alice? Bella is still very young, and her attachment to the dog only makes her clarity that much foggier. Even if she cannot realize it, Bella doesn't know what she is talking about."

I've heard the stories the others had to tell. Rosalie and Emmett's tales about the first pack, and how close our family came to fighting with the three of them before Carlisle could make peace with their alpha. Tanya and her clan actually had fought against some before in Alaska, and both Irina and Eleazar nearly died during the battling.

Our venom was the only protection we had against something that was bigger than us, stronger than us, and just as fast as us. One bite would cause them pain beyond what they are able to tolerate. Two bites shut their entire body system down for a few hours. Three could over-load the bloodstream and kill all wolves- except maybe the very biggest in the pack. Even then it would take days to heal fully.

Do you think it was easy to bite them three times when they always have pack brothers to help fight you off?

Edward was in danger. Bella was in danger. Silas was in danger. And what was I doing? Sitting on the ground in the shade of a tree, out of immediate reach of my mate and young kin.

"Edward is there to protect her." Alice reminded me for the twenty-third time.

"That is not good enough." I replied for the twenty-third time. "Those boys are not stupid, Alice. How long will it take one to figure out- if they don't already know- that it would be easy for them to hurt him? If one has the thought, the others have the thought. Don't you think several of his closest friends could convince that leader of theirs to do it?"

Alice shook her head stubbornly, though I could feel her sudden terror at the very idea of losing Edward. "No, I don't think that. If he tells them no they have to listen, that's what Edward said on the phone last night."

I pointed out, unable to stop myself from trying to deconstruct their system. "He imprinted on her. He loves her, Alice, and he knows that she's picked me over him. His jealousy almost scorched me yesterday when he saw her with me. If one of his friends point out that removing me from the picture means he can have Bella, he might test the theory."

After a tense silence Alice hopefully whispered, "I disagree. He wouldn't do that to her. Not if this imprint thing is everything we think it is."

We fell back into silence. Alice was mingling with fear, and anxiety, and horror. I wanted to slap myself for voicing my thoughts aloud to her. Why should she have to suffer the same way I was?

I glanced repentantly at her, hoping she could see my apology in my eyes. I would never intentionally scare her with such thoughts. I hadn't realized it as I spoke them.

Her frown twitched up into the smallest of smiles, an understanding smile. She lightly set her hand on mine and we both sighed.

Then her eyes got that far-away look and her muscles tensed. Could she see the werewolves? Was something happening?

A half of a second passed and her focus returned. She smiled and nodded east. "Irina's caught our scent. We'll have visitors in twenty seconds."

Irina.

I had become acquainted with Tanya's sister a long time ago. It was 1956, less then a decade since I had joined the Cullen family. Alice had found Edward ten years previous, and dragged him across the country to meet me with her as I happened across that diner. Anyway, we had been living in Delaware at the time, and I had my second accident.

My first had been in Virginia, but it was only a homeless man, so we didn't have to flee. In Delaware, however, the girl who fell victim to me was a mere child. At that, an important business man's child. Edward said suspicions were being aroused about our mysterious family, so we took precaution and went across the country to Alaska for a while.

All three of Carlisle's lady friends had taken an interest to me. I had warned Tanya off instantly, knowing that she was not looking for commitment at the time, she was just rather lusty for a vampire companion after so long of human men.

I warned her quite simply that I was not interested, and she'd be a lot happier if she kept that in mind. Unsettled and unsure, she retreated.

Irina was far more persistent. One dark midnight hunt too many had she irritated me, and I ended up attacking her. I had less control of my own emotions back then. It had been so very soon after leaving Peter and Charlotte. I was still rather depressed, and still extremely temperamental. Irina was lucky that Rose and Emmett had been hunting with us, or I surely would have bitten her.

Kate was my favorite of them all. I thought, at first, that she could have been a potential mate for me. Her almost constant playfulness was healthy for me so soon into such a frighteningly different life from the hateful one I had known. She had had both the patience and fire to keep up with my hotheaded outbursts towards her.

We had gotten quite involved after a year or so. After the first and only time we shared a romantically intimate night together did we come to decide, on both parts, that it just didn't feel right. I was happy to say, though, that I had maintained a good relationship with her after our 'fall-out'.

She was a friend, while Irina still irritated me.

The vampire in question, with Laurent at her side, ran into view a couple of moments later. Alice and I both stood up and turned to face them.

"Jasper, Alice!" Irina greeted cheerfully. I was not too surprised to feel the affection she and Laurent had towards one another as they joined us. It had been more than a year since we saw him- and his eyes were now golden.

Alice and Irina engaged a conversation, but I smiled slightly at Laurent. "You've taken well to the new diet, then?"

He grimaced. "I still have to get used to how different everything tastes, but I have not slipped yet. Our trip to Hoquiam was my first time away from Denali."

I would have responded, but quite suddenly a stab of pure terror struck me in the back. It was Silas's fear. I whirled around, staring wide-eyed into La Push. My three comrades fell silent, clearly noticing my sudden panic.

I instinctively focused entirely and completely on Bella's presence. Just one second after the ripple of fear struck me, Bella's own feelings crashed down like a mighty wave.

Suddenly, there was such a torture that gripped me that nothing else existed. I could not feel the ground under my feet. I could not see the distant houses and trees before my eyes. Alice, Irina, and Laurent were not beside me.

I saw absolutely nothing but the red flash of distress, as Bella's pain became my entire being. A fire worse then the flames of hell flashed across my neck and chest and made me fall onto my knees.

And then there was nothing from her. Absolutely nothing.

Alice gasped and dropped to her knees beside me. "Jasper, what is it? What's wrong?"

It took me a fourth of a second to shove my horror and my fear to the side. My instincts screamed danger at me. Something just happened. Something bad.

I didn't need to think to make the decision that slipped from my mouth in a fearsome snarl, "Werewolf."

I rocked onto my feet and pushed forward, barreling right over the border of the territories and tearing my way into La Push. I knew the other three were with me. I could hear them, I was vaguely aware of their mixed confusion and worry as they tried their best to keep up with my furious pace as we practically flew over the soil of the reservation.

It took exactly nineteen seconds for me to arrive in Jacob Black's back yard. The sight that met me was a terrible one.

Lying on the ground, barely breathing and fountaining with blood, was Bella. Her side and stomach were viciously torn open. Silas was cowering against a tree, crying in fear.

Edward was fighting like a trapped cougar as he attempted to hold off two of the wolves all by himself.

As his reinforcements entered the scene, we all sort of divided. Alice's heart was shattering- but she was forced to ignore Bella and run straight to Silas. The whirlwind of fighting was drawing dangerously close to him. She picked him up and disappeared the other direction.

Laurent and Irina both jumped the new wolf, the one who had not been in the forest last night.

Every single instinct I had violently yanked me towards my dying mate. She was starting to choke on blood that was gathering in her mouth. She needed to be turned onto her side or she would drown herself in it. I didn't have time for that, though. Somehow, the hostile wolf from the clearing yesterday had managed to grab Edward and clamp his teeth around his arm. Edward screeched with fury as it started to tear off.

I darted over to his side and hit the wolf's jawbone so hard I heard it completely shatter. With a cry of pain, he reeled back and stumbled. Edward turned to jump him but I got in the way.

Save Bella! My mind screamed at him. He had been to medical school with Carlisle twice, he was the best suited to help her now.

He hesitated, "But her blood!"

Her blood was more potent to him then anything else on the whole planet, and she was soaked in it. I knew that in this case, he was more dangerous to her then even Laurent was.

The wolf sprang at me and I snarled inside of my head. Damn it Edward, just help her!

Without another protest, he dropped onto his knees beside her and ripped his shirt off, tightly tying it around the deepest part of her wound before he picked her up and began to run.

My enemy landed on me and pinned me to the ground, about to snap at me for the kill. I could feel a malice deeper then just natural opposition blackening his heart. He had seen me kill that other one, and he wanted to take my life for payment.

I snarled at him and bit his paw so hard it broke. He yelped and jumped away from me. All of my old instincts flooded back with a vengeance. The desire to fight. The lust to kill. The need to survive.

I jumped on top of him and sank my teeth into his neck so deeply I tasted his wretched blood pooling in my mouth. It was vile and bitter, and I actually gagged on it before I had to spit it out. He managed to knock me off of him as he stumbled away, his muscles already tightening from the double shot of venom.

He had blood on his mouth. He had attacked her. He had hurt her. A rage so harsh it was painful started to throb within me. If she dies, it was his fault!

"Jasper!" Irina wailed suddenly. I could see her in the corner of my eye. Laurent was standing tensely beside her, keeping an eye on the bigger wolf as he lay on the ground and fought for breath. "Jasper, another one is coming!"

I followed her gaze and saw that she was right. Jacob was racing towards us at a fast rate, his looking both confused and angry. We needed to flee.

But the gray wolf deserved to die. I was one bite away from it. Just one more little bite and he would suffer in agony as all of his organs shut down one by one for the next ten hours.

The most primal of every creature's instinct began to take over my body. Fight or flight. Did I risk my own life for revenge, or did I admit defeat and run?

Their alpha was almost here.

I only needed one more simple bite...

Todays fic is From Innocence To Experience written by Thallium81. It is a mystery fic, that actually keeps the attention. It's pretty epic.