Window Seat

"Was that another one of your girlfriends?"

"No." He answered slowly after eyeing me suspiciously for a moment as he poured sugar into his cup. It was understandable, I mean they'd only then kissed briefly on the cheek. But the chatter had been considerable as Ry waited for his drink at the counter and she just stood there hanging on his every word. Sort of like I did. Or tried to pretend that I didn't. "Why? You think I should ask her out?"

Rolling my eyes, I bumped my hip against his and forced myself to smile.

"I'd prefer if you didn't."

"Good, because I've been down that road with Kelsi before." His eyebrows lifted a little as his lips pursed and I could tell there was a story there.

"How did that go?" I asked, following him to a nearby booth. It was our usual, a two-seater right by the window. Today it was splattered with rain, as it had been for the past two weeks. The weathermen in Manhattan were starting to get bored, quite honestly.

"Eh." He shrugged, "It just didn't work out. Sometimes you think someone is perfect for you because they're your best friend. Makes sense in theory, but it doesn't usually work out in practice. With Kels and me…it just made things really complicated." Speaking of complicated…Glancing down at the paper, I scanned article titles in hopes of changing the subject.

"Everything happens for a reason." I shrugged, rather unsuccessful with my news headline hopes. Damn the New York Times. "So how are things at school?"

"Couldn't be better." His entire face lit up as he leaned forward to take a sip of his coffee. I couldn't help but smile in reaction, happy that he was happy. "Buuut…"

My head cocked to the side curiously as I set my cup down. Sadly, there was always a but.

"That doesn't sound good. What's wrong?" I asked, my forehead creasing the slightest bit with concern.

"Well, I just got the special blue-ray edition of The Lion King today and I have no one to watch it with…" He averted his gaze away from me oh-so-obviously as his voice trailed off. There were full implications of Ryan wanting me to come over so he wouldn't be reciting lines along with the TV alone. However, all I could do was look at him like he'd just posed a very random but perplexing riddle. I blinked a few times, then crossed my arms under my chest and leaned back in my chair.

"Are you straight?" The words finally tumbled from my mouth and my face was full of suspicion and none of it was playful.

"Lotta questions today." He mused, popping off the lid of his coffee cup and stirring the contents within. My face fell and I froze in place, a perfect pout decorating my features. "Oh, no! I wasn't avoiding the question. For God's sakes Katie, I'm straight. Why else would I enable your hot chocolate addiction?"

"You're the one who got me addicted in the first place." I pouted quietly. My self-indulgence faded however when he reached across the table and slid his fingers under mine, so that my hand rested in his palm. I tried not to make it obvious when my throat contracted out of instict and I swallowed, but I really don't think it worked.

"Say you'll come over tonight. Please?"

"Ryan, this isn't about that." I mumbled, having trouble breathing with him still touching me.

"I'm not dating Kelsi. I'm not gay. I am into you. I buy you all the hot chocolate in the universe. What's the problem? If you don't want to hang out tonight, that's totally cool, you can tell me."

Taking a deep breath, I pulled my hand away from his and tried to find words for the idiotic things chasing me around in nonsensical patterns all over my brain.

"I don't know…" The lie passed my lips in the form of a sigh, but Ryan just waited patiently.

"Well, you take all the time you need to figure it out. I can wait. Although I'd like to know now if I should get a magazine from the stand over there. I've been dying to glance through People all week."

Unable to help myself, I let a small laugh pass my lips and Ryan's mouth split open in a relieved smile.

"That's what I'm talking about, dorkwad."

"You know…I don't think I've heard that word since like third grade. Very retro, I like it." Almost immediately he started snickering at the look on my face. A few seconds too late and I might have been wearing his grandé soy latte. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please continue."

"As I was saying." I eyed him as he continued to laugh and I tried to ignore how much I adored his laugh. "You're…different from other guys."

"Ugh. This speech again? Come on Kate, I've known you for what, almost a month now? Spare me the "you need to man up" pepper upper. This is who I am, take it or leave it." He sighed.

"This has nothing to do with that. Well, I mean it sort of does. But it's not what you think. Just hear me out, alright?" Taking a slow, deep breath his head bobbed in a nod and I tried to organize my thoughts. "I love who you are. I just don't trust that it's real. And as a woman living in New York, I think I've earned the right to be suspicious." He chuckled, understanding completely what I meant. "It's just hard for me to believe guys like you exist."

Leaning forward on the table, he took my hand once more and looked me in the eyes. As his thumb roved back and forth over the back of my hand, his blue eyes seemed to get the slightest bit larger as he lifted his eyebrows in curiosity.

"Guys like me?" I almost hated Ryan for the moments when he used that voice. Low and sensual and irresistible. If it weren't for the fact that my heart lived for those moments, I would have slapped him every time he used it against me.

"Funny and stylish and good at dancing and secure enough with themselves to just be who they are. It's like you don't see the lines between feminine and masculine because you don't care. You're just you and no girl can resist that kind of confidence. But how is any girl supposed to actually believe they can have it?"

"Well, I'm not interested in just any girl." There was that god damn voice again…Would I get kicked out of Starbucks for pulling him down on this table right in front of everyone? Hmm…Columbia surely wouldn't be too happy with the headlines. Best not to risk it.

"What I'm trying to say is, boys like you aren't real for girls like me. And I guess I'm just scared to get involved because there's this hesitation in the back of my mind just waiting for you to finally come to grips with the fact that you're gay or something. And then where would I be? In love and dropped off the side of a cliff?"

"Can you really see yourself falling in love with me?" That was really the only part of everything I'd said he seemed remotely concerned with. My cheeks flushed with red and I tried to look in any direction that wasn't him. Ryan just chuckled and leaned forward to gently peck my mouth, catching me very off guard and sending my heart into a frenzy. "For the last time, I promise you I'm not gay. Yes, I like Disney movies. Yes, I like to shop and dance and sometimes I burst out into show tunes. But I also love watching girls walk in high heels. I love the way girls smell and I think its beautiful that they can be so strong and so vulnerable at the same time. I love everything about you people." He shrugged unapologetically.

"What's your type?" I asked, as amused with his game as I was curious. He certainly wasn't my type and I wanted to know if he always went for the jaded cheerleader or if this was just a special occasion. Before I knew it however he was leaning toward me and dipping his head to the side. Just before his lips pressed against mine, they murmured against my cheek in response.

"You are."