I Am Damaged Goods

"How is she?"

Though he'd known Gibbs would arrive eventually, the appearance of his boss in the doorway startled Anthony DiNozzo. The room had been silent for such a long time that the words caused him to jump. Quickly recovering, his head turned towards his boss. The NCIS agent was suddenly at a complete loss for words. His gaze fell back to the woman in question: while her face was not peaceful, she was silent.

Gibbs entered the room and moved to the other side of the hospital bed. He sat in a plastic chair that he pulled over from the side of the room. His steely blue eyes were set on the younger man, waiting in silence for an answer.

Tony swallowed, finally pulling words together. "She's not crying anymore." He murmured, pain passing over his face at his own words. "I mean, that could just be for a number of reasons, but I think whatever nightmare she was having stopped, for now." His voice fell nearly silent – in one respect, he hadn't wanted to tell the silver haired man about Ziva's pain – it felt like a secret. However, he could not follow his own advice to Ziva – to let them in, let them help, if he withheld. To withhold from Gibbs wouldn't be productive.

"I spoke with one of the doctors not too long ago." He continued, shifting in his chair. "She came in here, I didn't go out – and she should wake up soon." Tony took a breath in, looking towards their fallen ninja, wanting, needing, her to wake up.

"She's peaceful right now, DiNozzo." Gibbs finally spoke as if he could read the younger man's thoughts. "It might not be as much when she wakes up."

Tony sighed, his heart dropping. He'd almost forgotten that waking would only take her from the threat of nightmares and launch her into a real one. A waking one.

"I can't believe I messed up like this, boss." Tony said, his mouth moving almost without his permission. "She shouldn't have been taken – right under my nose, Gibbs." His eyes were in turmoil.

"It's not your fault, DiNozzo." Gibbs said after a moment of silence.

"I screwed up." He insisted.

"Yeah, Tony, you did." He told him, seeing Tony's face try not to fall. "But that doesn't make it your fault anymore than its McGee's or Ducky's or Abby's or mine, DiNozzo."

Tony didn't have the chance to answer – at that moment, something shifted in his boss's expression, causing the younger agent to shift his eyes back to Ziva.

She'd opened her eyes. Those dark eyes that were so familiar were looking at him – but they were different than usual. Her eyes were dazed and confused. Tony didn't miss the fear in them – she wasn't even trying to hide it.

"Ziva?" Tony was the first to speak, his voice nearly silent.

"Where am I, Tony?" Her voice was matter of fact, a croak. It wasn't hard to see the sudden panic in her eyes at the unfamiliar surroundings. "Where?" She repeated.

In what he'd later view as a foolish attempt, the young man reached forward to take her hand. For a moment, he'd forgotten who he was talking to. In a struggling attempt, she yanked her hand away, eyes fearful. Tony couldn't help the hurt that flashed in his eyes.

"Ziver," Gibbs began, his tone careful. The young woman's eyes flashed to him as if only just realizing he was in the room as well. "You're in the hospital."

She shook her head; dark hair clung to her cheeks. "I don't … understand." The NCIS agent croaked, her eyes darting between Gibbs and Tony. The latter could see the struggle forming in the depths of her eyes – as she came more fully into consciousness she struggled with whether to show emotion or to hide it all away.

She watched him with disturbed eyes. "Please explain to me, Gibbs." She asked of him, and he could feel his heart break.

"One of the suspects that you were trying to apprehend managed to capture you." Gibbs explained carefully. He watched her, waiting for a reaction that he knew she was trying to withhold. "Do you remember?"

There was a frantic nod of her head. Ziva attempted to raise her hand and brush at the hair clinging to her cheeks but found herself clumsy, weak and shaky. The fear in her eyes rose – she didn't like being incapacitated.

Seeming to have forgotten the earlier lesson, Tony reached forward and brushed the hair away with the back of his hand. The former Mossad officer startled; Gibbs eyes darkened in his glare towards Tony. His hand shrank back instantly; his eyes holding the apology that he didn't dare to speak.

"I remember." She whispered. "His brother." Her next words were barely spoken; she cleared her throat.

"We're after him." Gibbs assured her. She nodded in confirmation, but her eyes seemed no surer of this fact than she had moments before – she'd lost trust in herself, and thereby trust in the team that had come to her rescue days too late.

It was only seconds later that her dark eyes drifted shut again – she struggled for only seconds to keep them open before she lost the battle and succumbed to unconsciousness once again. Gibbs and DiNozzo sat in silence for moments that seemed endless, waiting for her to wake again before a knock at the door alerted both the NCIS agents to the arrival of the nurse. She was young; auburn hair tied up behind her head in a loose bun.

Gibbs rose to go towards her and Tony followed, barely able to turn away from her even as she was unconscious. The nurse's smile was kind but he hardly noticed – he hadn't the energy, patience, or time for kindness now.

"She was awake for some time, I presume?" The nurse spoke, her pale hand clutching the clipboard that she held against her white lab coat.

"She was." Gibbs said, taking lead. "She asked where she was, I-"

Ziva's terrified scream pierced the air.

TBC

Author's Note:

I'm sorry I haven't updated in such a long time! I hope that someone will still want to read this story – I'm not too sure that I like this chapter, so … yeah, I'm not sure. I'm hoping that someone thinks I should continue this. There are more chapters, if people want them.

This chapter is dedicated to Agnixx, even though she doesn't watch NCIS. She thinks I type too loud. So I'm going to type extra loud right now just for your benefit. You'll find this funny when you realize that I was typing like this FOR YOUR BENEFIT this entire time. "You could wake the dead! You're typing like its going to disappear in five seconds." xD Oh, this is amusing.

… Yeah. Please review. Hoping someone out there is still enjoying this.