After Dinner

"I like him, Kate." My mother's voice echoed a little off of the tiles in her hotel bathroom as she got ready for bed, a white terry robe tied snug at the waist. "I really like him for you. He's different. But…much more sophisticated than your usual fare. I approve."

"Did I just get the nod?" I shouted from her bed as I flicked through channels. "I can't see, the door's in the way."

"Yes," She chuckled as her figure emerged from the bathroom and she started looking through her bag for the vitamins she took before bed each night. "You did indeed get the nod."

My mom was beautiful. You could tell she was older from the laugh lines around her mouth, the small crow's feet beside her eyes. But her complexion was still smooth and nearly flawless. Her features were soft amidst the oval of her face that was framed by a straight, almost platinum blonde bob. Pink always dashed across her cheeks, whether she was wearing blush or not, and I could only hope that I would age as wonderfully as she had.

"Remind me again however why he was late? He was so out of breath when he sat down, I couldn't understand a word of what he was saying." Her words were graceful but strong, as though she'd learned to speak from Katherine Hepburn in her heyday. Smiling to myself, I ducked my gaze down towards the comforter I was sprawled out on. Ryan was obsessed with Katherine Hepburn and was in fact the only reason I knew enough about her to make that comparison at all.

"Um, he had practice. He scored a lead in Julliard's Spring production and they already have him rehearsing." I couldn't help but attach a sigh to my words before stopping on a rerun of Jon & Kate Plus 8. Gosh those little Asian babies were cute.

"They had him rehearsing until seven at night?" She sounded almost offended, as though the idea of it were truly sacrilegious. On the TV, the sextuplet who wore glasses was in a dentist's chair with a horrified look on his face, but even that couldn't coax a smile out of me.

"Yah, I know." My disparaged tone returned and I ran a stressed out hand through my hair. "It really sucks…and what's worse is his ex-girlfriend, Kelsi, is helping assist with composure so she's there every night too."

Chuckling softly in the back of her throat, my mother smiled at me as she took out her nightgown from the suitcase she had laying in front of the closet she was sharing with my dad, who was watching a Jersey Devils hockey game in the living room.

"You've never been the jealous type before Kate, why is this so different?" Clearly she was amused by the power this boy had over me. A boy she had been more than a little surprised to see sit down at our table that night. A boy who she never would have considered to even be in the running for her daughter's affections. And now? Now it seemed this boy had her as wrapped as a Christmas present.

Unable to think clearly, I snapped the TV off with a curt click before turning on my back and staring up at the ceiling. A shrug momentarily lifted my shoulders.

"Because I have no idea what he sees in me. Because I'm not a theater person and I never have been. Because this Kelsi girl is everything he deserves, she's the kind of girl he's supposed to end up with. She can sight-read music, she plays piano, composes her own songs. All day her head is full of the same crap that his is. They just understand each other in a way we never will…and it scares me. Because I don't want to be her, but at the same time I'm jealous that I never will be."

All of this tumbled out of my mouth as she changed in the bathroom. Silence followed and for a moment I wondered if she'd even heard me at all. It would be a perfect disaster if she hadn't because I really wasn't sure I'd be able to articulate my feelings again. A second later however, she emerged from the bathroom in her baby blue nightgown and came over to sit next to me on the edge of the bed. Just from the look on her face, amused but sympathetic, I could tell she'd heard me.

"The important thing to remember is that he chose you. She's not his girlfriend anymore for a reason. And so what if he was late? The point is, he did everything he could to get to dinner. He cares about you Kate, don't ever think he doesn't. If your mother can see it, then it must be real."

Smiling finally, I let go of a small giggle. She had a point: If there was something fundamentally wrong with our relationship…my mother would never hesitate to point it out.

"You should keep yourself busier. I'm happy you've found such a nice boy, but you can't let your emotions be so dependent upon him. He has his life and you have yours. You just have to keep things in perspective is all." She added, smoothing my hair back as I sat up to face her.

"I know." I nodded, very well aware that what she was saying would be so impossible to achieve in practice that I was already throwing the advice in my brain's recycling bin.