Though the stairwell was only a few yards away, Snake traversed that distance as if it was littered with mines. Even though his disguise was so good the scientists put up such a fuss that the guards might still be suspicious of him.

"Stupid scientists," Snake thought, "I hate them." He immediately felt bad for thinking that because Sokolov seemed like a pretty decent guy.

He finally made his way up the staircase and entered the closest room. Snake was in luck because the room was empty and he had time to take in his surroundings. It was obvious that the tables in the room wouldn't serve as good hiding places if there were need of any. There was a partition dividing the room and he decided to see if the other side was any better.

There was a door on this side and he planned on using it until he saw a dark haired soldier patrolling the upper levels through the glass. Snake knew his disguise was good but he felt that not much would get pass this particular officer.

"Damn," Snake said under his breath. "Raikov might be in that other room," he thought, "Maybe there's another way in."

He moved back to the partition and peeked around it and saw that there was one soldier walking in. Snake touched his bandanna and felt less silly for keeping it. The soldier on the other side of the room just happened to be the Major he was looking for.

Snake took a good look at the man. The blond's features were so delicate and almost doll-like. But looking at the way his body filled the uniform, Snake knew that Raikov wasn't as 'soft' as his face would imply.

Raikov wandered around the room as if there was something to patrol. There were no hiding places on that side of the room. Hell, that was why Snake was on the other side.

Snake heard a voice in his ear. It was Major Zero.

"Snake! What are you waiting for? He's right there!"

"I know," the agent said sharply but in a quiet voice.

"Get to it then."

"Major, it's a process."

"What process? Just go over there, knock him on the head, break his neck, whatever and be done with it."

Snake tried to think of a way to explain what he was doing. "I'm doing my observation. You have to study the way the person moves, their behavioral patterns down to their nervous tics. I'm going to be pretending to be this man soon."

"Yes, yes, that's all very impressive but you're just going to get Sokolov in the west wing, which is practically next door and then getting out. It's not that serious."

"Okay," Snake said feeling downcast. He was planning to be a Raikov like no one had seen before.

Another voice broke in, "Snake, what the hell are you going on about? You just need to look like Raikov. The mouth on the mask doesn't move."

"That's some mask," Snake said sarcastically.

"You're not supposed to be talking. That's how people get tripped up!"

"Ah, maybe you're right," Snake agreed. What if he ran into the guy's girlfriend and said the wrong thing?

Snake would see in a few moments how right Sigint was. Arguing over methodologies (even in a hushed voice) attracted Raikov's attention.

"What is that sound," the blond man thought aloud. It was coming from the other side of the wall.

"Uh oh, gotta go," Snake whispered.

"What are you doing out of the laboratory? Come over here immediately."

"Umm…well, you see I was working on the propulsion…"

"Oh Lord, not the propulsion crap again," Sigint said on the airship.

Snake's low mumbling was irritating the Major and the blond stepped forward so he could hear the scientist better and punch him.

"And then I told him that didn't make any sense because the uh, vectors didn't add up and he tried to argue with me and I just didn't feel like hearing it-"

Snake was interrupted by the Major's fist heading towards his face that he deftly caught.

"Who the hell are you?" the Major asked, lifting one of his eyebrows. "You're no scientist."

"No, I'm not but I had you fooled." Snake used the grip on the man's fist to twist his arm.

"No, you didn't!" Raikov said as he worked to get out of the hold.

"Not even for a minute? Why did you ask about me not being in the lab?"

"Oh, shut up!" Raikov said as he broke completely free of the hold and punched Snake in the stomach.

"Damn, this guy can hit," Snake thought. He took a chance and briefly looked up to see the current location of the guard on the other side of the glass. That soldier was facing away but he would be facing the fight in a minute or a little less. It was always better to estimate that you had less time. That was one of the many things that the Boss taught him. Snake had to get control of the fight and bring it to the other side of the room or at least the other side of the lockers.

He grappled with Raikov and managed to throw him in the right direction. In fact Snake threw him into the lockers lining the wall. He hoped the guard outside of the room couldn't hear the commotion. He had to hurry and follow through because the other man was recovering quickly. It wouldn't do to have another alarm sound. He kicked the man back to the floor a few times when the Major tried to get up. It really was ridiculous that there weren't pockets deep enough in his lab coat to hold his tranq gun. The fight could've been over already.

He grabbed Raikov by the lapel of his uniform jacket and grunted when the man kneed him in the stomach. Thank goodness he wasn't able to get a good angle on Snake because that could've hit a delicate area. If Raikov had come across Snake three hours ago, after the agent ate some spoiled milk snake—that was already disgusting—getting hit in the stomach twice may have staggered him more.

It was time to end the fight. Taking a deep breath, he ran through the basics of CQC in his mind and put it into action. Seconds later he had Raikov in a virtually unbreakable sleeper hold. Now it was only a matter of time before the man would drift into unconsciousness.

"I had to work for that," Snake thought when the blond's head lolled in the crook of his arm. He had the feeling that the Boss would be disappointed in him if she saw the fight.

He wasted no time and started unbuttoning the Major's uniform and maneuvering the unconscious man in order to remove the jacket and shirt without wrinkling the material.

"Snake, hurry up!" Major Zero ordered.

"Geez, Major, do you want me to walk around all wrinkled?"

EVA broke into the conversation, "I really don't think that people will care about that, Snake. Who knows, that might be a state that the soldiers are used to seeing him in, especially after meeting with Col—"

Major Zero interrupted her. "Just get his pants off and throw Raikov in the locker. You just need to get through to the west wing."

"Yes, sir!"

Snake quickly took off the other man's shoes and socks and unbuttoned Raikov's trousers and pulled them down. Snake looked down at Raikov and noticed that the man's underwear was not the usual briefs or boxers. He kneeled by the man's head and lifted Raikov under his arms and dragged him to an opened locker.

When he shoved Raikov in the locker he didn't close the door fast enough and the Major would've fallen flat on his face if not for Snake's reflexes.

"Let's try this again," Snake thought.

When he maneuvered the body for a second time, the design on Raikov's underwear, near the blond's right hipbone caught his eye.

"What is that?" Snake thought as he held the man steady. "A thunderbolt? Why the hell would he have that on his underpants?"

Snake's mind flashed back to Sokolov theatrically saying, "They call him… Thunderbolt!"

Snake dropped Raikov as realization hit. Now all of EVA's comments made so much more sense. No wonder why the Raikov had Colonel-class clearance despite only being a Major.

He picked the Major up again and carefully put him the locker, closing the door quickly.

"Wow," Snake said to no one in particular.

Snake removed his own clothes quickly but made sure to fold his laboratory coat neatly—he never knew when he might need that again—and changed into Raikov's uniform.

He was surprised that the uniform was almost a perfect fit. Unfortunately Raikov's shoes were a size too small.

"These shoes sure do pinch," Snake said under his breath.

"It's not like you're not going to be running cross-country in them!" Major Zero said. "But it is great that you have Raikov's uniform. That along with the mask Sigint made, you are well on your way!"

Snake put on the mask and was grateful that the plastic smell wasn't overpowering. He called everyone again to get their opinions of it. Everyone seemed to be impressed. He was a bit disappointed that Para-Medic seemed to like it quite a bit. A little too much.

When he spoke to EVA, she assured him that things should go smoother from that point forward. Major Raikov could get away with pretty much anything, including being an all-around jerk to his fellow soldiers.

With all this in mind Snake confidently left the room. Things were finally going to be easy.

Or so he thought. When he left the room and walked down the staircase he started feeling very strange. He pulled at the fabric of the uniform pants. Snake felt more uncomfortable with every step. He went back up the stairs and called Para-Medic. He didn't want to take any chances.

"Para-Medic?" Snake asked, sounding somewhat distressed.

"Yes, Snake?"

"Please say something to make it go away."

"Oh, dear," the doctor thought, "he didn't seem like the type that would have a breakdown in the middle of a mission."

"Make what go away?" she asked.

"This goddamn itching!"

"Where are you itching?"

"I rather not say." From the tone of Snake's voice she could imagine him turning red.

"Do you have a rash? When did it start?"

"About few minutes ago."

Paramedic nodded her head as things were beginning to make more sense. "When you put on Raikov's uniform."

"Yes," Snake said.

"Snake, I don't know if there's anything I can do for you. Your symptoms are more than likely psychosomatic in nature."

"Hmm…"

"You do know what that means, don't you, Snake?"

"Yes, I'm not dumb."

"Okay, sorry."

There was silence on the other end.

"If it makes you feel better if he had on underwear that would act as a lining. He had on underwear, right?"

Snake heard snickers in the background.

"Yeah, but they were rather scant."

"Scant?" She was surprised to hear the man use a word like that.

"Yeah. Did you like that word?" he asked flirtatiously.

"Snake, cut it out! I just didn't expect to hear you use that word. When you say 'scant' how so?"

Snake sounded flustered. "I don't know how to describe it. His bare ass cheeks were touching the fabric of the pants." Just describing the black underwear made Snake itch even more.

"Snake, you're wearing underwear. That should make you feel at least a little better."

There was another pregnant pause on the other end.

"You're not wearing any underwear," she said flatly.

Sigint's voice came over the line. "So you're just hangin' out there, man? Keep your pants on for real!"

Major Zero broke into the conversation. "Just do something to get your mind off of the itching."

"Yes, sir! I'm sure I'll figure something out," the agent said.

TBC