The Pout of a Princess
"Why don't you and I have a song?" I asked softly as I played with the hand draped across my shoulders. We were laying in his bed, clad in our under things, just sitting in the quiet stillness that often settled in around us after we made love. Sometimes it was a beautiful silence, the peacefulness of which would pass between Ryan and I before rocking us both to sleep. Unfortunately this was not that kind of silence. Though brimming with all our affection, I could feel how stressed out we both were. Could sense a million things burning on the backs of our minds, leaving us too brain dead to even want to speak. However, I hadn't come all the way over to Julliard not to talk.
"Course we have a song." Ryan replied, teasing me with a tone that implied insult from the mere idea that we wouldn't. And yet…
"What is it then?" I challenged, moving out of his arms reach so I could look him in the eye as we spoke.
"My loneliness is killiiiin me!" He belted out, "And I, I must confess, I still belieeeve!"
Purposefully going sharp on the high note, he got a swift but gentle kick to the thigh for his joke.
"Shut up." I laughed, rolling my eyes. But he only continued, reaching into the air dramatically as he closed his eyes.
"When I'm not with you I lose my mind. Give me a siiiign, hit me baby one more time!" As he opened his eyes and grinned all he got in return was the unamused look on my face as I desperately tried to fight off a smile.
"Hilarious." My voice drawled lazily. "I'm so glad Britney Spears dressed up like a Catholc school girl defines our relationship. That's wonderful news."
"Haha, well…if you think about it…" He smirked mischievously.
"Think about what?" My face scrunched up at his suggestion, "How weird it is that you can still recall the words to that song a decade after it was released?"
"Oh, ha ha." His eyes rolled heavenward, "So can every other self-respecting metrosexual."
"Come on Ry, there's got to be one romantic song that reminds you of us." I pleaded, trying to get back on subject.
"Fine." He surrendered with a soft smile, getting up off the bed and flipping through the cd case beside his stereo. "Fine. But you asked for it, just remember that."
With a look that told me I'd been warned, he popped in what looked like a blank cd and hit the next button a few times. As a gentle, orchestral intro wafted through the air, Ry made his way to the side of the bed and held out a hand for me. My eyes were skeptical for only a second before he'd swept me onto the carpeted floor of his bedroom and was suddenly leading me into a waltz. Words I'd never heard before began to wrap around us with all the simplicity and beauty of a children's fairytale.
"Ten minutes ago I saw you, I looked up when you came through the door. My head started reeling, you gave me the feeling the room had no ceiling or floor." A gentle smile made its home on my face as we continued to dance. It must have been a funny picture really. Ryan leading me in elegant circles around his messy bedroom dressed only in boxers and me, trying to keep up with him wearing nothing but Victoria's Secret.
"Ten minutes ago I met you and we murmured our "How do you do's". I wanted to ring out the bells
and fling out my arms and to sing out the news!" Ryan's voice joined the stereo, singing in my ear as softly as if trying to put me to sleep with an old lullaby. "I have found her! She's an angel with the dust of the stars in her eyes. We are dancing, we are flying and she's taking me back to the skiiies. In the arms of my love I'm flying over mountain and meadow and glen. And I like it so well that for all I can tell I may never come down again. I may never come down to eeearth aaagaaain."
The song continued on with female lyrics that seemed to mirror those of her male counterpart. It was probably best that I had never even heard this song before considering my attempt at singing would have likely ruined the moment. So we danced in silence to the sounds of the orchestra as they produced one fluffy, romantic stanza after another. It was a little dizzying considering the waltz had never been a part of any cheer routine I'd participated in. Thankfully Ryan was an outstanding lead and I was pretty good at keeping a beat. The two of us together actually managed to look like we at least had an idea of what we were doing.
I'd never been one for fairytales, only because they were so hard to believe in. But being swept along in those circles, with the warmth of Ryan's hand seeping into my lower back and our rhythm perfectly synched to the music, I felt like the girl in all those stories. A princess in love. How had I ever found a boy like this? Who wasn't laughing at the idea of romance, but who believed in it so strongly that he was trying to make me believe in it too. By then, I should have expected it from Ryan, but he never ceased to surprise me.
As if on cue, the music faded out just as he spun me on the fingertips of one hand before pulling me back in and dipping my upper body towards the ground. Hanging there for only a moment, Ryan gently set me back on my feet, kissing me quickly before taking a step or two back.
"Well?" He quirked an eyebrow, offering up a smile that was all at once curious and hopeful.
"What was that from?" I asked softly, my head still spinning slightly from the entire experience. No boy had ever just grabbed me and started waltzing, let alone to music that lovey-dovey.
"Ah, Roger's and Hammerstein's Cinderella, the musical." He admitted, smile growing in intensity as he shrugged. "A couple months ago you said…."
I looked up at him like a little girl who had just had her greatest wish granted and could scarcely believe it.
"When I was a kid, Cinderella was my Disney princess." I completed the sentence, breathless with surprise. I'd told him that eons ago, how could he have remembered it all this time? "So, who does that make you? Prince Charm your way out of anything?" I laughed, my tone a fumbling mixture of unbelieving and somewhat giddy.
"Nice try. But I'm Simba, remember?"
I didn't want to be Debbie Downer but his flippant reference served only to remind me of who had pointed that fact out earlier. Subsequently a frown pulled down my lips a little and I turned away from him, making my way back to the mess we'd made of his bed.
"Yah, I remember." I sighed heavily, slouching lazily onto the mattress.
"Hey," His laugh was soft, almost pitying, as he curled up beside me in a manner much more graceful than mine had been. "What's going on with you tonight?"
When I just shrugged, he took the hand closest to him in his and used the other to brush a few stray strands of hair out of my face.
"What did you mean earlier when you said you hated how Kelsi actually understands what I say? I mean I know you're a Russian spy and everything, but…"
Looking away from him for a moment, I let go of a breathy laugh unable to keep myself from reacting at least a little bit to his jokes.
"You know what I meant." I shrugged, "All that musical theatre crap. It's like you guys speak some other language I'm not in on. All the weird terms and references. How am I supposed to respond when it's like you guys are laughing about a million inside jokes I'm out on?"
"Baby," A guilty sort of sadness wrinkled his features as he shook his head, "Why didn't you tell me it made you feel that way?"
"What would you have actually done about it?" I asked, a little bit harsher than necessary. "That's why she's your best friend Ryan, because she understands that part of you. And it kills me that I never will. It's like what you said before, that if this were a movie I'd end up with the all-star jock in the end. Well, guess what you'd end up with Kelsi."
"Do you honestly believe that?" He asked, challenging me to really delve into my heart and find the answer in a place possessing more depth than a Hollywood camera lens. At that point however, I was too sick of the situation to do a whole lot of delving.
"The Composer and The Choreographer? Seriously? That shit writes itself." I explained, defeat clearly laced within my voice.
"Maybe." He shrugged, eyes avoiding mine with mock thought on the subject before he slid closer and slipped one hand across my shoulders, the other around my waist. "But The Choreographer and The Spoiled-Brat Ivy League Cheerleader sounds way more interesting to me. Besides, you know breaking the rules gets me hot." He smirked.
"Oh yah." I laughed, nodding with amusement as I curled my body around to fit his. "You're a regular rebel-child alright."
A moment of good humor passed between us before my smile fell and I nestled my cheek into the crook of his shoulder. Without warning, Ryan dipped his head to murmur softly, his nose nuzzling against my cheek as he used that oh-so powerful, low and sensual voice of his against me once more. When he spoke like that I could barely breathe let alone refuse him.
"If you're jealous of Kels, we need to talk about it."
"I just feel like I'm competing with her over you half the time. It sounds crazy when I say it out loud, but sometimes, with the way she looks at you, I could swear she's still in love with you. And it's not that I don't trust you…She just makes me feel like I'm not good enough to be with you."
"Welcome to my world." he smirked, a soft chuckle rumbling in his chest. "What a pair we make, huh? Look, sweetheart, I care aboout Kelsi. I do. She's been my best friend for almost two years now. But I fell out of love with her a long time ago."
"You don't act like it." I pouted. "You guys have a rhythm about you that we won't ever have because I'm not a musical theatre person. She is. She can follow sheet music with you and compose accompaniments for your routines. She gets it when you make jokes that steal lines from old black and white movies I've never seen. She knows exactly who you're talking about when you randomly name people in the business. And all I can do is just sit there watching the two of you like a third fucking wheel when in reality? I should be the one making her feel awkward because you and I are so madly in love that she can't stand to be in the same room as us." I admitted childishly, the flurry of words spilling out before I could stop them.
"You sure you're not a drama person?" He teased, the smile he was wearing evident in his tone.
"Baby, I'm serious." Though I certainly didn't sound like it, breathily laughing through my words at his joke. "Girls like Kelsi are the one thing I always thought would never be a problem for me. I guess this is just karma biting me in the ass for having such an big ego." I sighed.
"Hahaha, probably." He agreed with me. "But listen as much as Kelsi and I have in common, I don't want to date myself. I want a girl who can keep up with me. Who loves the spotlight as much as I do because I don't ever want to feel like I have to hold back. I want a girl who inspires me, who makes me see things differently. And to be honest, sometimes I have a hard time believing that I not only found that girl, but she wants me back."
A tiny smile decorated my mouth and I arched my neck back just enough for our lips to meet. As Ryan lay beside me, he slid a hand down to the underside of my knee and pulled my leg over his thigh, pressing us closer together in the process. My smile grew against his mouth as our kiss grew in depth. For someone so feminine, Ry had always been one of the most sensually aggressive kissers I'd ever met in my life, somehow able to find the perfect balance of gentle passion at the drop of a hat. It was one of the things about him that had kept me coming back for more almost seven months running. Finally, however, I had to pull away for air or he'd have to use those lips of his for CPR rather than kisses.
"So you never told me." He mumbled, face still just an inch from mine as we stayed tangled up in each other. "Did you like that song for us?"
"Hmm…" My thinking face came on and I did my best to recall the numer he'd played for me. "I diiid, but…" As I've said before, there was always a but.
"But…?" He coaxed me along.
"I don't want to define our relationship with a song from a musical. I mean, it's beautiful and I absolutely loved it. But it's more you than me and this relationship is about both of us."
"Well, who says we have to define anything." He proposed. My ears perked, interested in what he had to say. "In fact, who says we only have to have one song at all? There isn't a song in the world that can fully embody everything I'm feeling."
"I agree." My head bobbed slowly, "So what do you suggest we do?"
"We're not gunna have a song, we're gunna have a soundtrack. Every song that reminds you of me, every song that reminds me of you. What do you think?"
"I think that's a brilliant idea. Aaaand, I think we both need a shower…" I glanced up at him with raised eyebrows, hoping he'd catch on to my use of the noun in its singular form.
"Just one?" Ry played along, an amused spark lighting up the blue of his eyes.
"I'm feeling environmentally friendly." I shrugged, offering him an innocent look for no more than five seconds before jumping up. "And competitive. Race you!"
A/n: I'm pretty happy with how this chapter turned out. What do you guys think? By the way, I wanna know who your Disney Princesses are, so let me know in your review! Mine's Pocahontas :D Although I'm extremely partial to Lilo as well lol And yes...she is a princess. Just a fair warning, I really can't say when the next chapter will be up because I'm trying to figure out exactly what direction I'm going to take with this story, so try to hang in there! Thanks guys - Rachel