"God, how could he walk around with that creeping up his ass?" Snake wondered.
He walked outside of the locker room and headed over to the lone guard patrolling the area beyond the glass. As he approached the man saluted him and said, "Sir!" with utmost respect. Snake saluted him back.
The itching just wouldn't stop. Snake's mind flashed back to five minutes earlier when he asked EVA, "Even if I punch someone in the face?" He just might have found what could get his mind off the itching.
Snake lowered his hand from the salute and walked away. He heard the soldier say, "Keep up the fine work, sir!" At the bottom of the staircase there was another soldier of lower rank. The soldier stood as far in attention as he could despite the trembling in his cowering frame. That was a difficult thing to do: standing at attention while cowering. The guard had his hand up in a trembling salute. The brim of his cap shielded the man's eyes but Snake knew they were on the floor.
"Wow, these guys are scared shitless of Raikov," Snake thought. The persistent itching in his crotch area and on his ass interrupted his observation. He hadn't dealt with anything like this since Tijuana and that definitely wasn't psychosomatic. This was starting to get irritating in more ways than one. Thank goodness he had something or rather someone to take his frustrations out on.
Snake walked the last few steps of the staircase and when he reached ground level he pushed the soldier out of the way roughly.
"Snake, was that really necessary?" Sigint said. "Just because you look like the dude now, you don't have to act like him."
"He was annoying me. And plus, the itching stopped for a second."
"Because you were concentrating on terrorizing that grunt," Para-medic said. Her disapproval was clear.
"I only pushed him, geez," Snake said under his breath.
Zero's voice came over the radio. "Personally, I don't care what you do as long as it doesn't compromise the mission. Snake's being an ass, just as Raikov is apparently wont to do. Hell, he could tap dance on the tables for all I care as long as he gets the job done."
"Please don't give him any ideas." Para-medic barely finished her sentence before they heard a thumping sound. "Oh dear," Para-medic said.
Snake jumped on the gray couches and the tables and started tap dancing or rather tried his best to tap dance. He had been trained to kill people not entertain them. His behavior was so out of the ordinary that it was helping him get his mind off the itching. Major Zero was a pretty creative guy, Snake thought.
He heard a faint beeping sound in his ear and stopped dancing momentarily in order to respond. He heard Zero yelling, "What in bloody hell are you doing? We have other things to do!"
"All right, but you were the one that suggested to do that and I have something I need to do first," Snake grumbled. He jumped off one of the tables with a flourish. The guards that gathered around to see 'Raikov' in one of his less violent outbursts applauded. The dancing was something new.
"Keep up the good work, Sir!" one of them yelled.
Snake strolled back to the library. There were a few people he needed to deal with before getting Sokolov. When he entered with his Raikov disguise on he walked up to the scientist with the receding gray hair parted on the side. No cries of "Who are you!" this time but it was obvious from the scientist's quivering lips that he was scared. In fact every time Snake tried to look the man in his beady brown eyes the scientist would turn away.
Seeing how much fear he instilled in the man should have made Snake feel better and gotten his mind off the itching but it didn't. The weaker man's constant blinking was irritating the elite agent. He decided then he would give him something to shake about.
Snake jabbed him in the face and the scientist put up his hands up way after the fact. Seriously delayed reflexes, Snake noted mentally. The scientist's yelp was music to his ears, so he did it again. And again. Finally Snake punched him in the crotch and was through with it.
He decided to call Paramedic and tell her his status.
"Snake, are you feeling better?" she asked hesitantly, hearing the cries of the abused scientist.
"Much."
"Now quit all this tomfoolery and proceed to the west wing!" Major Zero barked.
"Yes, sir!"
THE END
A/N: I'm sorry guys… but if I had to put on someone else's pants and they only wore thong underwear, I'd be having some psychosomatic issues too. When I was playing MGS3 and got to that section of the game I just couldn't get the idea out of my mind and had to write it. You know Naked Snake was totally impressed with his scientist disguise.