AN: I completely forgot to preface this story in the first chapter, and I apologize. I appreciate those who have read this already; it means a lot. I enjoy writing immensely, however, the allowing others to read, well that's the hard part. I will continue to read no matter what. That being said, let me give you that preface to my story. I enjoyed Sam and Brooke's relationship so much on the show, and as you probably noticed, their lives mirrored each others' in some ways. I know that Brooke would/will be there for anything that Sam would need. And right now, in this story, Sam doesn't trust her past, she doesn't trust that if she cannot handle the weight of the world, she will be alright. She is currently in a not so good relationship, I hope that this does not deter any readers, but it will not be too intense. Well, that's what I am going to leave you with. I hope you continue to read, and please let me know your opinion of this story. Peace.
Brooke closed her cell phone and attempted to be presentable for the day. She was not in the mood to present herself to the world today. She just wanted to stay bundled all day, so she was the only recipient of her currently unsightly appearance. But it would be uncharacteristic of her to quit the day before it even started, so she put on her makeup, along with her predetermined face and left the house just hoping for something more.
Sam, in fact, had gone to school early. She knew that Brooke would be livid, and that was her goal. The more anger Brooke accumulated, the less likely she would remember the concern that was embedded her head. It was a goal, but a fear in itself that would lead to Brooke finally letting Sam go. It is no life at all to live in constant fear, but it was the only life she had. It was this, or, well there was no other option for the orphaned girl.
Marcus was waiting for her in their normal spot. Sam knew that he was not going to be pleased to hear of her grounding. There was not much that pleased the six-foot monster. "Hey, Babe," some days she seriously believed that he forget her name, because he spoke of her in what appeared to be endearing names, but Sam knew otherwise. He had his arm around her waist, as she was his possession, and to him, she was, "Did you make it home okay?" Marcus was a senior; he had a car, but he felt it was unnecessary to drive her home when it started to pour. He knew that the worst that could happen would be from his hands; he was not worried about her elsewhere.
"I didn't melt," there was no emotion in her voice, he had caused her to lose the ability to care.
"Glad to hear it. You make it past the evil bitch?"
She hated when Marcus would ridicule Brooke. At first, Sam had contributed to the mockery. But now it pained her to listen. Brooke was nowhere near a fiend nor did she have an ounce of evilness in her. "Her name is Brooke," she really had had enough with Marcus' bashing of the only good thing in her life. He could bash her all he wanted, but not Brooke. Brooke didn't deserve it, especially when she couldn't be presence to defend herself.
"Isn't that what I said?" tightening his grip on her waist, ending her semi-valiant attempt at being a hero to Brooke's name.
"No, you called her," she stopped when she saw the look in his eyes. She knew then that she had stepped over a boundary. He was not happy at all, "I mean, yes, that is what you said," fearful of another step. It was always in fear in which she stepped around him.
"That is what I thought, now did you manage to avoid her last night?" He knew that he had complete control over the situation, and he always used it to his advantage.
"Actually, the door slammed when I got home," she paused, she knew that what she was about to say would not make Marcus happy, "and well she heard it. She wasn't very happy, I'm grounded," she didn't say how long in hopes that she could push it longer if need be.
"Grounded? The lady is only eight years older than you, how can she ground you?" He didn't understand it, he had a sister who was ten years older, but he would never listen to a damn thing she had to say. Brooke was a fashion diva; she was not fit to discipline a 15 year old.
"I live under her house, I broke her rules. She grounded me, easy as that."
"I think you did it on purpose."
"What, that is crazy, why would I do that?" not truly believing Marcus' outlandish claim.
"Oh now you are calling me crazy? Are you so sure you want to be doing that?" he turned his body and added force to hers trapping her against the locker. It didn't hurt, but she did not like her inability to move.
"Marcus, stop, I wasn't calling you crazy. Why would I want to be grounded? My hand was wet and it slipped. I got caught, it happens. Now get off of me," she tried to push him off of her. She didn't think it was necessary for him to empower her over simple facts. However, these simple facts always seemed to cause trouble.
"First you call me crazy, now you are going to try and tell me what to do?" he held her arms above her head and grabbed her cheeks; "You better listen to me, Sam, and listen good. This is your only chance, and if you blow it, then you are alone. All alone, you will have no one. So you need to be careful what you say to me, or I am gone. You understand?" He said it as if it was the most important thing in the world to have him in her life. Some days it was, all she had left was to believe him.
She wanted him gone, but she held on to the fact that love might come out of the relationship. And for that sole reason she feared being left all alone. Marcus knew of this fear, so he took every opportunity to pry on it. She just nodded her head, because if she didn't she would be in more pain, or she would end up all alone. She had been alone for most of her life; she really didn't want to be all by herself. Nodding was the only thing keeping this from happening.
"Now, that's my girl," he patted her on the cheeks, but it was more than a pat. "I am going to go meet some friends; I will talk to you later. Give me a kiss."
She didn't want to kiss him, especially after that. A delay was worst than no kiss at all, and she soon realized this, painfully.
"When I tell you to do something, you do it," and with a quick knee to the stomach she was on the floor. "Next time, don't keep me waiting," he said above her.
As she held her stomach she opted to just sit there in the hall. There were only a handful of kids at school this early, so she was not intruding on anyone's space. She hadn't intended to, but her fatigue wore on her, and when her eyes shut she was in an instant slumber, though not completely peaceful. She doubted it could ever be.
Her slumber was short as she was awakened by her name being called by a familiar voice, "Sam, Sam, wake up."
She groggily opened her eyes and quickly realized that she was asleep in the hallway in Tree Hill high school, another story to be gossiped around. She looked up at Haley, "Somebody wants to talk to you," Haley said handing her the phone as she also extended a hand to Sam.
Having no choice in the situation, she accepted both, "Hello," she was barely audible.
"So you rather sleep in the hallway than your bed," Haley had sent Brooke a picture of a sleeping Sam before waking her up.
"It is way more comfortable," her sarcasm was back. As she spoke with Brooke she stretched to relieve the discomfort.
Haley was smiling along with Sam's sarcastic comments until she spotted a bruise on Sam's back, then another, until she counted five. Five bruises and that was without seeing what was actually under all those clothes. She sure as hell knew that Brooke was not handing them out. Wait, did Brooke even know? She would be devastated. This was not something that Haley could simply drop either. She had to get to the bottom of this before she could alert Brooke. Her best friend would be devastated.
"Yup, I'll be by the store right after school so you can stare at me while I do my homework," she handed Haley the phone, "She wants to talk to you."
"Hey Brooke," she said quickly but realized Sam was walking away, she needed to talk to her. She needed to talk to her now.
"Thank you, Haley."
"Anytime, Brooke. I actually have to go, talk to you later?"
"Have a good day at school!" she had to laugh at the fact that she spent years trying to get out of that place, and Haley chose a profession in which she would be there five days a week.
"Sam, wait up," Haley said chasing her down the hall.
"I'm late to class," whatever Haley had to say she was sure she didn't want to hear it right now.
"Well you are just going to have to be a little later; I need to talk to you," there was a slight hint of desperation in Haley's voice, all she knew was that she would be in despair if anything happened to Sam and she didn't do anything, so it was not misplaced.
"Don't you have class?" trying to avoid the subject of talking, she hated talking. She realized that talking never led to anything good, especially when she was not in control of the topic. And she was never in control of the topic.
"I do, but they are going to have to wait a few minutes," the duo managed to stop walking momentarily.
"This is so not cool, having two people lecture me; I get enough of those in history class. Now can I please just go?" she pleaded with the girl that she had considered a friend. But she did not want a friend's concern right now. She wanted to go to class so that Haley would not try to pry into something she held no place in. She and she alone belonged in that small encasement of Sam's anguish; there was not room for another.
Haley had to give up, the girl did not want to talk now, but after her class they would. Haley would close the door, look into Sam's eyes and ask her how she could have possibly gotten those bruises. She was 15, and she lived in a safe home, who could have possibly harmed her? She was a teacher, this is what she did, she got to the bottom of things. But this case was different; it was her best friend's daughter they were dealing with. And it was a case she was not going to let rest until it was completely resolved. Sam deserved resolution. Sam deserved not to have bruises on her body, and on her heart.
Sam was in Haley's second period class, and Haley couldn't keep her eyes off of the teenager. Even if the bruises hadn't caused worry earlier, Sam's actions in the class gave her a new reason of apprehension. Sam normally did not give off a persona that seemed intrigued or involved in class, but she has never been completely indifferent. Today she was. And apparently her slumber in the hallway earlier did not suffice, because Haley caught Sam dipping in and out several times. She didn't want to bring more attention to the teenager in class, which would be totally not cool. So she waited until class was dismissed, and she summoned Sam, who was slow to get up, "Time to talk," it wasn't a question that could be dismissed. It was a simple fact.
Sam hated simple facts. "Class," she reminded her, quickly gathering her things.
"Study hall," Haley rebutted.
"I gotta study," during study hall Sam normally skipped out and met with Marcus. He would be expecting her, and when she was expected, she better be there.
Sam tried to pass her, but Haley grabbed her arm, "We are going to talk now, or we will talk with Brooke later. The choice is yours. Let me just remind you that I do not ground."
"Fine," she said sitting back down, realizing this was the best option.
Haley sat on the desk in front of Sam trying to gather her thoughts. She did not want to assume anything, or cause Sam to walk out of the room against her. "It is about earlier."
"No sleeping in the hallways, I know," she was not going to admit anything.
"It is more than you sleeping in the hall, Sam. Which I don't know why you were on the floor in the first place, but that is another story, I suppose." Yes, it was atypical, but that was not the most pressing matter at all.
"I was tired, I fell asleep. The end."
"Brooke told me that you got home late last night."
"Is this really even fair? How many students in this school have someone watching them in and out of school?"
"It might not be fair, Sam, but it is necessary."
"Oh it is necessary for me to be under a watchful eye?"
"Yes, it is. You have been running amuck in Tree Hill for too long doing whatever you please. It is not safe or healthy for a girl your age."
"I am safe, and I am healthy."
"You are safe now, especially since you have been living with Brooke. But before that, for I don't even know how long there was no one looking out for you. Now, take advantage of the fact that there are two set of watchful eyes looking out for you." The first time that Haley saw Sam in the car in shop class, she knew that there had to be a better life out there for Sam. She never could have imagined that it would have been intertwined with Brooke Davis, but now that it was, the connection was personal. She was not going to let another child be stuck into a system that forgot or neglected to remember that children were broken or abandoned. Sam deserved to be remembered, she deserved to be whole.
"I never asked for this."
"You didn't have to ask. You are 15 years old; living on the streets is not the life of a teenager."
"I was fine by myself." She would never admit she wasn't, she would never admit that she cried most nights that she was alone, in fear, and in pure sadness that she could not claim another as one that loved her, or cared she was completely and utterly alone.
"How long could you have kept up that act, Sam? Really?" Haley knew that Sam was not okay, she wasn't okay right now, and she wasn't okay alone in the dark of night.
"As long as I needed to keep it up," that was her life's mantra.
"There is someone who sincerely cares about you, why can't you just accept that?"
"I don't need someone to care about me, like I said, I am fine being alone. This style of living is really hindering my way of life." It was a lie that both realized before it even completely left Sam lips.
"Well you are going to have to get used to it, because Brooke is not going to stop, and neither am I. And that is why I wanted to talk to you about something I saw earlier," preparing herself for any retort Sam was going to try on her.
"I am pretty sure we already had our talk. I really have to go," she tried to get up once more. This time Haley did not cause her to fall back down; it was a pain in her stomach.
Concern instantly plastered across Haley's face as Sam cringed as she held onto her stomach, "Sam, what is it?" Haley asked gently placing a hand on Sam's shoulder.
Sam bit her lip, trying to reduce the pain that she was exerting in front of Haley. Marcus had done a number on her that morning, and she was still paying for it. But she couldn't let Haley see her like this, "I am fine. It's just that time of month, if you know what I am talking about," trying to brush away any afterthought to the situation.
"Those are some serious cramps, Sam. If they are that severe maybe you need to go to the nurse," she suggested though she did not believe a word that Sam spoke to her, cramps do not occur where Sam was grabbing.
"No, it is passing, I am fine. I just need to go to class, and then I will be fine."
"Are going to fall asleep in that one as well?"
Sam looked up at Haley not even realizing that she fell asleep in Haley's class. She was exhausted. Last night was not the first night she had been out late; it was just the first night she had been caught. When she did have a chance to sleep at night her thoughts or pain prevented decent slumbering. It was all catching up with her now. "I didn't mean to, I, I…"
Haley was not going to wait until Sam came up with another lie. "You are exhausted, Sam. It is evident. It has been evident for weeks now. You haven't been yourself lately."
"You don't know me," she was back to putting a wall up, encasing herself in. There would be a rebuttal to everything that Haley attempted to prove to be factual. The real reason though was due to the fact she had a hard time believing that Haley knew the real Samantha Walker, when Sam herself had yet to find her.
"I do know who you have been the last several months, and this is not it. You are returning to the person you were when you first got here."
"Well maybe that is who I was all along. I just let you and Brooke influence me into somebody I really wasn't."
"I don't believe that Sam. You changed. I saw you with a smile on your face. You befriended my son. You were doing well in school. You were following Brooke's guidelines. You changed, and I cannot honestly believe that it was simply an act."
"Well it was. I was just trying to appease you all," she wanted to get out of this uncomfortable situation as quickly as possible.
"I doubt that, Sam. You did not have to change, but you made the conscious effort to do so. Now something has happened and you are returning to your roots. What caused this?" Haley wanted to get to the bottom of Sam's sudden alterations.
"I doubt that, Sam. You did not have to change, but you made the conscious effort to do so. Now something has happened and you are returning to your roots. What caused this?" Haley wanted to get to the bottom of Sam's sudden alterations.
"I told you, this is who I am. There was no cause and there was no change. This is typical me, always screwing up, doing something wrong, not being good enough," the last line slipped.
Haley grabbed Sam's hand, but Sam quickly withdrew it, "Is this what it is about, Sam? About not feeling good enough? Why don't you think you are good enough?" Haley felt that there was no reason for Sam to be experiencing these symptoms as Brooke provided a loving home to Sam. She knew that it had to be skin deep, something that Sam couldn't let go of. Her past was keeping her back from moving forward. And Sam so desperately needed to move forward.
"I am not going to amount to anything," they were Marcus' words. In the beginning, Sam felt there was a lot of potential, for the relationship and for her future, but she soon realized her future wasn't that grand after all. She had no reason to believe in it now.
"Sam, where are you getting these words? Who has embedded this in your head? You have your whole future in front of you; it is not written out for you. You can amount to anything you desire." Haley knew this was a clichéd speech given to all, but at this moment, it is what Sam needed. And anyways, half the speakers lied; they did not believe in the actual individual, they believed in the commission they would receive afterwards. Haley would give the same speech doused in conviction every time with nothing in return.
"It is not that easy," Sam wanted Haley to know that someone who grew up with nothing rarely overcomes it all. Not everyone has an Oprah worthy story.
"Nobody's future is going to be easy, Sam. But no one should take away your potential. Don't believe what somebody has said to you out of anger."
"It is the truth. Nobody has ever wanted me, why should I believe that somebody does now? Why should I put aside everything that I know because you are promising me a future I do not believe in?" her standoffishness slightly broke as her voice cracked.
"Brooke is different. She is different; she is not going to give up on you, Sam. She has the same history as you. She knows where you are coming from." When Haley found out about Sam's past, she felt as if she was listening to Brooke's autobiography minus the foster care and parental revenue element
"She had two parents and hundreds of thousands of dollars, how are our histories even remotely similar? I have no parents. I have no money. There is no common ground between us." She had grown to love being around Brooke, even defending her name before Marcus, but she could not believe that Haley was trying to relate the two girls' stories. There was no overlapping, there was a rich girl, and there was a poor girl. Okay, maybe Haley had a point; they were both girls, but nothing in common past gender.
"Her parents may have had money, and they showered it on her. But she was alone; her parents were never present in her life. She would have given up all the money to just have her parents in attendance in her life. But they could care less about their daughter's desire; they were bystanders, no, you could not even consider them that. Bystanders at least saw what was going on. They knew absolutely nothing. They told her that she was not worthy, and for a while she believed it. She believed it until she let go of her mother, realizing that the pain was not worth the journey. So you see, Brooke understands. She spent years trying to find someone to care, to love her, and I know that is exactly what you are doing now. Don't give up on Brooke, because she is not going to give up on you," Haley tried to look into Sam's decisive eyes.
The reveal of Brooke's journey slightly stalled Sam's defenses. If Haley was speaking the truth, then it wasn't fair of Sam to push Brooke and the life that Brooke was giving her away. But she couldn't admit that, because in actuality she still feared security. And as much as it appeared that Brooke was in it for the long run, there was this stigma attached to her fear. "Fine, I won't give up on Brooke, got it. Are we done?" she was going to say anything to get out of this classroom and out of the encasement of concern Haley was displaying. She hated concern; she hated it even more when it was directed at her.
She was startled by Sam's bluntness; nevertheless she felt that she could no longer pry. Her thoughts concerning Sam's bruises were going to have to subside, for now at least. The conversation had been invasive enough. Haley was pleased to have broken the surface, even if the surface was thick; it was a step. "Yes, we are done."
"Finally, thank you," she bent over to pick up her bag and Haley saw another bruise.
She lied; she could not let this go. She could not let Sam leave her classroom without knowing who was causing her physical pain. "Sam."
She turned around slowly; just waiting to hear what Haley was going to try on her next, "What is it now?" Haley's face completely changed during the moment she had turned around, what could be worst than what they had already spoken about?
"How did you get that bruise on your back?" the instant change of expression on Sam's face solidified Haley's every thought of apprehension. She knew more than ever it was merited.
Sam looked at Haley in such disbelief; in disbelief that someone could look past her emotional pains, and see the physicality on the surface. The surface was her skin, and she had been hurt. But no one had seen the physical bruises before; they were more concerned about what she wasn't telling them, even though the physical was evidence in itself. A lie couldn't come quick enough, and when it did, she saw that Haley did not believe one word, "I am clumsy as hell, I fell."
"Oh is that what it is?"
"Yeah, yeah that is what happened. I fell," she couldn't believe that Haley was actually believing her falsity. She was home free.
Not yet, Sam. "I don't think you are clumsy, Sam. I think that somebody gave you those bruises, and I know it was not Brooke. Who gave them to you, Sam?" Haley demanded.
Bruises? She didn't even realize there were more than one. An excuse for being clumsy could only compensate for so many. "I have no idea what you are talking about, Haley. I fell down, or I bumped into a desk. That is how I got them. Nobody gave them to me," she spoke as if the concept was the most outlandish thing ever spoken. She started to walk away, "You aren't going to tell Brooke about this, are you?" she looked back hoping eye contact would ensure trust.
"If it is simply due to clumsiness I see no reason. But if somebody is hurting you, Sam, you have got to tell someone. You have got to tell somebody before it gets worse," she warned knowing this was the only advice she was going to receive.
Sam looked at Haley who held so much distress for her, and lied to her face, "I am fine, I am clumsy. I'll let you know if I fall again," and with that she was out the door leaving Haley dismayed about the events that had just taken place in her classroom.
Haley didn't know the truth, not yet anyways; could she even tell Brooke her assumption? Would that be stepping over a line in which she shouldn't have tried to cross? She had to gather more facts before she brought this to Brooke's attention. It was the only way to secure the safety of both parties. It was the only way she thought.
Sam felt trapped by the current situation. Underlying it all she knew what Marcus was doing was not right, but she couldn't leave it. Haley couldn't possibly understand that, and neither would Brooke. No amount of unease that resonated from either could cease what Sam was trying to attempt to build. So she went on her way, and her way was to Marcus. It was the only way she was willing to go towards. It was the only way she thought.