Authors Note: Okay, so everyone knows that I dont own Michael Jackson, but my characters I do own. Anyways, I hope everyone enjoys the read, if so leave a review, if not leave a review and tell me what I can change to make it better. Anyways, have a good day everyone. Xoxo Amber
Chapter 3: There's No Good, In Goodbye
" Let us dream of tomorrow where we can truly love from the soul, and know love as the ultimate truth at the heart of all creation."-Michael Jackson
Over the last week, I have found myself in this same position every single day after I get off of work. Sitting in my second hand car, staring at the house where I grew up,where I experienced my first of many things. My first heart ache, my first slumber party, the list goes on and on. And as much as Mom and I don't always get along, I hate the idea of hurting her. I know that its inevitable. It will break her heart when I walk into that house and tell her that I'm taking Carly-Ann with me to Ireland. I had taken the job, well, more like the job took me. I sigh as I push out of the car, walking slowly to the front door. The scene inside my head should have been funny, trying to figure out what to say to Mom, how to tell her that we're leaving, after all not everybody has arguments with themselves in their head. I open the front door, and smile when I see Carly-Ann racing through the living room in her bathing suit, her hair dripping as she calls out a hello and keeps on running, Kyle not far behind her.
" Get back here you little rugrat," Kyle calls after her, and Carly-Ann's answering giggles send warmth and love shooting through me.
" Dani, is that you, come into the kitchen please," Mom says, and I swallow roughly as I make my way into the kitchen. I'm caught slightly off guard by my Mom's friend Shirley and her daughter Jessica sitting at the kitchen table sipping coffee and chattering. I roll my eyes as I lean against the door. 'You have got to be kidding me,' I think to myself. " Hello honey. Shirley and Jessica just happened to be in the neighborhood."
" I'm sure," I murmur, and the look in my Mother's eyes makes me smile. " Hi Shirley, Jessica."
" Hello Dani," they say in unison, and I cant help but notice that Jessica is here in her scrubs. " Your Mom told me that your interested in the nursing program that Jessica was in."
" Did she now? Listen Shirley, I know that you and Mom have been friends for years, but I have to apologize. She got you here under false pretenses. I'm not interested in the nursing program, never was. That's nothing against nurses, I think that they are great, but it just isn't a profession for me," I say, and the room grows utterly silent.
" Daniella Isabelle James," Mom says, and I turn steady eyes to her.
" When are you going to get it Mom? I couldn't be a nurse. I cant do it. When Daddy," I paused, tears inevitably surging to my eyes. " I just can't, now drop it. I came to pick up Carly-Ann, and to tell you that I took the job." With that, I walk from the kitchen in search of my daughter.
Later that night, after Carly-Ann exhausted herself by singing Thriller at the top of her lungs, and dancing through out the entire house, I sit in my room, folding clothes and placing them in piles. Trying to decide what clothes to take and what clothes to leave behind was turning out to be a harder task than I thought it would be. What exactly does one take on a tour? I sigh as I layback against my bed, closing my eyes. I hadn't really thought about my earlier surprise meeting with Michael Jackson. Just the thought of the way his eyes looked into me has butterflies circling through my stomach. The knock on my door has my eyes popping open and I look at the clock. Who the hell is here at eleven o'clock at night. I walk down the stairs and peer out of the window to see Brandon standing on my porch. I smile as I pull open my door, but the smile is short lived when I see his face. His lips unsmiling, and his eyes serious.
" Hey Brandon, what are you doing here?" I ask, moving aside so that he can come in.
" We need to talk," Brandon says, and I shut the door quietly, following him into the living room. I sit on the couch, pulling my legs underneath me, pulling my over sized t-shirt over my bare legs.
" Okay so talk," I say, looking at my brother. I watch as he stares at me, and I can tell that he is trying to choose his words carefully.
" Mom was really upset when you left today. I know that she is hard on you Dani, but I don't think she does it intentionally. Mom just had her own dreams for you, you know? And then you know you got pregnant," Brandon says, and I look past him my eyes clouding with tears.
" You think I don't know I have been a disappointment to Mom since I was sixteen? I know what she wanted me to be Brandon, but that was a long time ago. I'm trying to do what I think is best for Carly-Ann and for me. I know I could make just about as much doing nursing as I will be making with the P.A work, but that isn't the point. The point is, nursing work is just not something that I could do, you know that," I say, rolling my eyes with slight anger. Why should I have to continually reiterate the fact that I'm a grown woman, and can make my own decisions.
" Dani, don't ever call yourself a disappointment. I just came over here to tell you Mom is upset, and maybe, a small part of me wanted to talk you out of going, but I can see now that you going is what has to be done," he says, getting up walking towards the front door. I follow behind him, my long blonde hair blowing slightly with the wind. I hug him tightly, taking whatever strength and courage I can from him. I pull away and smile shakily and wave at him as he climbs into his car. I turn to head back inside, but my brothers voice calls to me, and I peer over my shoulder to look at him.
" Dani, remember, your destined for greatness kid," he says, and I smile, laughing through tears at his words. The same words that my father spoke to me every day of my life. I shut the door behind me, pressing my back to the hard wood, and slide to the floor, wondering just how different things will be.
" Come on Jay, don't mope. Your going to make me cry, besides you were the one who all but forced me to take this job," I say, swinging my legs as I sit on Jay's desk while he mopes around the office.
" I know Dani, but now I'm regretting it. You have been the best assistant I have ever had. Who's going to bring me my coffee?" Jay asks, his eyes shimmering.
" Come on, Jay. You'll find another one. Or I could always just stay if you give me a raise," I say, smirking at him. Jay's booming laughter fills the office, and I smile knowing that I got what I had wanted to get.
" You're a sharp one Dani James," he says, and I slide off of his desk.
" Well Jay, I guess I better get going. You know, I never will be able to thank you enough, for everything." I say, blinking furiously against the tears in my eyes.
" Dani, you don't have," he starts saying, but I interrupt him, hugging him tightly.
" But I do. You believed in me when most people wouldn't have, so thanks," I say, as a few tears slide down my cheeks.
" Your welcome Dani. And remember, if you ever need anything, I'm always here," he says, pulling away from me, taking my hand in his, squeezing it lightly. I walk from the office, calling out soft good byes to my fellow workers, and as soon as I reach the elevator and the doors slide closed behind me, I lose it, allowing myself a few moments to cry.
I run down the stairs as quickly as I can without falling on my face, racing to get to the phone. I pick it up quickly, almost dropping the receiver.
" He, hello," I pant into the phone, twirling the chord around my fingers.
" Dani, hey its Jay. Hope I didn't catch you at a bad time. I forgot to tell you before you left the office that you should be getting a package delivered to your house around seven or so," Jay's voice flows through the phone, making me smile.
" Are you sure that's what you wanted to tell me, or did you just miss my voice?" I ask, giggling as I pace my kitchen.
" Ugh, don't remind me. Remember seven o'clock. I'm going to miss you Dani, stay in touch, ciao," he says, and I smile as I hang up the phone. I check the clock, noting that its six fifteen. Forty five minutes and a package will arrive. My curiosity is steadily rising as I walk back up stairs. I stand in the door way of Carly-Ann's room, smiling as I watch her sitting and staring at her stuffed animals.
" What are you doing sweet pea?" I ask, walking into the room, sitting next to her.
" Mmm, well I'm trying to pick which ones to bring, and which ones to leave," Carly-Ann says, her voice serious.
" Ahh, what a hard decision. Well you know, you wont be leaving them forever. When we come back, whether we come back to this house, or we stay somewhere new, that you will be able to bring the ones that are left here with you," I say, running my hand over her hair.
" Really? That makes it easier," she says, grabbing a pink hippo and small teddy bear that my Mom had gotten her.
" Those are the ones?" I ask, smiling as she holds them out to me, nodding her head.
" Okay. So, sweet girl, what's on the menu for dinner tonight?" I ask, helping her pick up her stuffed animals.
" Mmm, pizza?" she says, her eyes shining as she smiles at me. I roll my eyes dramatically, as she giggles.
" Fine, I guess we can have pizza," I say, picking her up, twirling her around the room, the sound of her laughter echoing off of the walls.
The sound of my door bell ringing pulls me from my present task of folding a mountain of laundry. I smile at Carly-Ann as she continues to color, and I pass a hand over her hair as I head to the door. I open it slowly a smile on my face, money in my hand, expecting it to be the pizza guy, instead I am face to face with the man who had accompanied Michael to our lunch meeting the other day.
" Oh hello," I say, automatically running a hand over my hair nervously, my hands straightening my clothes. I wasn't exactly in my best clothes. He stares at me for a minute, his eyes lighting with humor.
" You don't remember my name do you?" he asks, and I stare at him dumbly, feeling horrible that he spoke the truth. I couldn't remember his name to save my own life.
" I'm sorry, no I don't," I say, moving aside so that he can come in. I shut the door behind him and watch as he politely removes his hat, placing it on the table in the entry way.
" No worries. I know what its like to meet Mike for the first time. I have to admit that you handled it quiet well. Most women, and some men, when they first meet him, totally lose their heads," he says, smiling warmly as he extends his hand to me. " The names Max by the way." Just as I am about to say something in return, Carly-Ann comes skipping into the room, holding a piece of paper close to her heart.
" Mama, who's this?" Carly-Ann asks, taking my hand in hers, bouncing on her feet.
" This is Max, a friend of, erm, Mr. Thriller Man," I say, and Carly-Ann giggles at her own nickname for my new boss.
" Oh," she says, her eyes lighting up brightly. She lets go of my hand and tugs on Max's jacket, and just as I am about to tell Carly-Ann that it's impolite to tug on people, Max kneels down to her level smiling broadly at her.
" Hello Carly-Ann, I'm Max," he says, and Carly-Ann giggles as she hands him the paper that she had been holding close to her heart. " What's this?"
" Can you give that to Mr. Thriller Man for me?" she asks, and I groan inwardly, wishing that I knew what was on that paper.
" Sure thing cutie pie," Max says, running a finger playfully down my daughters nose before she turns to skip away.
" Sorry about that," I say, watching as Max folds the paper up, sliding it into his back pocket.
" Don't apologize, Mike is going to love her. Oh, I almost forgot, the reason I'm here," he says as he hands me a fairly large, and heavy box. " Everything, and anything you will need for this job will be found in there. Also Mike wanted me to tell you the car will be here to pick you and Carly-Ann up tomorrow night, at seven sharp," he says, picking his hat back up, walking back to the door. " And Dani, don't worry so much, your going to be great."
" Thanks," I murmur, shutting the door quietly behind him, smiling softly.
" Come on Carly-Ann, I'm not playing, you need to go to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow. We have to go shopping for shoes, and clothes. Then, we're going to have a fun time getting our hair done, and then, we have dinner at Grandma's, and then a really long plane ride. So, get your cute self in bed, and I will read to you," I say, pulling her comforter back as she climbs into bed.
" Hey Mama, do you think that Michael Jackson is going to like me?" Carly-Ann asks, her voice suddenly sullen.
" Where is this coming from? Of course he is going to like you sweet pea, who wouldn't?" I ask, brushing the hair from her forehead, kissing her softly.
" My daddy didn't," she says, and my heart aches roughly in my chest. My sweet girl, so young, yet so far advanced for her age.
" Carly-Ann, you have to understand something, that isn't your fault. That is all on him, and you know what? He missed out on such a pretty, and bright little girl. Now, sweet dreams little princess, tomorrow we begin the rest of our life," I say, tucking her securely in her bed. I sigh when I walk back down stairs and find that the pile of clothes that I was folding is still sitting there, and I groan as I slide onto the couch, wishing that I could take away whatever pain, or apprehension that my little girl is feeling away from her. I lay my head back against the couch, and send up a final silent prayer, praying that I made the right choice. I open my eyes and notice the package that Max had dropped of to me sitting next to me. I pick it up, opening it slowly. My eyes widen, as I see the box for a Powerbook. I had always dreamt of owning one, but my income didn't exactly allow for such luxuries. Along with the Powerbook, was a thick notebook filled with pages upon pages of what exactly my job will entail. Not to mention a list of Michael's special requests. Then there was the itinerary, passports for Carly-Ann and myself, the passes we would need for all of the venues. As I slip the notebook onto the table a small slip of paper flutters to the floor. I pick it up, opening it slowly.
'Dani,
Hopefully these things will help you adjust easily into the job, and into the family. I look forward to seeing you again, beautiful.
Sincerely, Mr. Thriller Man.'
My head spins at just the thought of everything that was coming, and I close my eyes on a tortured groan, what did I get myself into?
I smile into the rearview mirror at Carly-Ann as she sings in the back seat, her freshly cut hair swinging as she bobs her head to the music.
" Did you have fun today little princess?" I ask, turning the music down so that she can hear me. She nods her head quickly, and I smile even more. I try to do things with her like this every few months, just something like a girls day out to show her that even though I may have to work a lot, that she is still number one in my life. I pull the car into Mom's driveway, pushing the door open, smiling when Carly-Ann beats me to the front door.
" Grandma, we're here," Carly-Ann yells in a sing song voice as she skips to the kitchen. I brace myself for what may be coming next, because if I know my Mom, and I think I do, that she is going to be mad. No she is going to be beyond mad, after what happened the other day. It didn't help that I had ignored all calls coming from her, but I did what I had to do, and I had to stick with my decision. I walk into the kitchen, leaning against the door jamb, watching as Mom lifts Carly-Ann up onto the counter so she can help mix something in a bowl. My eyes cloud over involuntarily as I watch the way Mom is with her. It kills me to know that I am taking Carly-Ann away from her, but it's the best choice.
" Hi Momma," I say, walking into the kitchen, and she looks at me, her smile only faltering for a second.
" Hey honey, dinner will be ready in an hour or so. Your brothers should be here any second, Carly sweetheart, why don't you go turn on one of those movies you like so much, I need to talk to your Mama," Mom says, lifting Carly-Ann off of the counter, patting her on her butt as she skips away. I slide onto one of the barstools so that I can watch my Mom as she works, her hands moving as if on their own as they begin rolling out dough.
" Mom, I," I say, but she looks up at me, cutting me off with just a glance.
" Dani, I know that your about to apologize, and if you do your just going to make me angry. I'm the one who owes you an apology. I tried pushing something on you that you don't want to do. I just, I worry about you, and Carly-Ann. You are so strong Dani, but the real world can be cruel. You know that more than most at your age. I worry what the tabloids are going to say about Michael Jackson's new assistant being a single mother. I just don't want to see your name tarnished when you have worked so hard to get where your at," she says, her eyes glazing over. Though my mother and I have butted heads for years, I know that at the end of the day she is coming from a good place, with good intentions, and she means no harm, which is why I start crying uncontrollably. " Oh dear heart." She comes around the counter, to wrap her arms around me.
" I'm sorry Momma, I know that I have been a disappointment to you, but I'm just trying to do what needs to be done. I just want to make you proud," I say, wiping my hands over my face. I'm caught slightly off guard by Mom taking my face between my hands.
" You have never been a disappointment to me Daniella, you may have done things differently than I would have hoped, but I am so proud of you, and I know that I don't tell you that enough," she says, hugging me tightly to her. " Your Daddy would be so proud." Just the mention of my Dad has me crying harder for a few seconds as Mom hugs me close and at last, I feel like I can take this step, and that everything is going to be okay.
" Absolutely not, no Mom, I am not taking all of that with me, now stop it, the car will be here to pick us up in less than fifteen minutes, you aren't going to repack for me," I say, yanking one of my suitcases from my Mother's grasp.
" Dani, wait, I just think you could use," Mom starts saying, but I just roll my eyes as I hand Kyle me and Carly-Ann's suitcases one by one.
" Mom, I love you, but honestly, I don't need a million sweaters. And I'm sure that if I need anymore I can just buy one," I say, looking through the window by the front door. I see headlights cut through the darkness, casting shadows as it pulls into my driveway.
" Would you look at that, it's a limo Dani," Kyle says excitedly as he pulls open the front door. I blush deeply as I pick up my carry on bag, and take Cary-Ann's hand in mine firmly.
" Mom, can you take Carly-Ann to the car, I just need to lock up," I say, turning to lock the door. I stand for a long second staring at my house. I sigh heavily as I turn to walk away from home.
" Okay, well I guess this is it," I say, shuffling my feet lightly as I hold onto Carly-Ann tightly.
" Take care little sis, be safe, and have fun. Don't go all Hollywood on us either," Kyle says, hugging me tightly. I turn to Brandon next, and he stays silent, but with him no words need to be spoken. I smile, sniffling slightly as I hug him hard. I promised myself that I wouldn't cry, but I knew that was a stupid promise to make all things considered. Finally I turn to look at my Mom, whose eyes are shining, and she holds in the tears as best as she can.
" Oh Momma, I love you," I say, hugging her. I smile as she presses a kiss to my forehead before turning to kiss Carly-Ann.
" I love you, my girls. Now go, go, you don't want to miss your flight," she says, and I smile as turn towards the limo, where the door is being held open for us.
"Goodbye Momma," I say sliding into the car, Carly-Ann on my lap, and I jump slightly when the door shuts. It takes a minute for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, and a silky voice cuts through the silence of the car.
" Hello again, beautiful," the voice says, and my eyes widen as I realize it obviously wont be just Carly-Ann and I making this trip.