A/N: Ironically, I feel like celebrating the end of the horrendouly long (13 pages, my new record) Disneyland chapter with an unrestricted update. How ironic, I finish a chapter, and to celebrate I make a new chapter.

Ulquiorra: Just start the chapter already.

C.Ulquiorra: I own nothing…

I'll have to take a Rain Check… in 108 degree Weather

The group of Espada and humans decided to stall the second Disneyland trip, to stay at their rooms and play around with the equiptment. Currently, Ulquiorra was using a "gaming console" called a "Wii". It was simple enough, you move, and the console responds. However, the game he was playing was incredibly annoying. It was called "My Sims", and Ulquiorra was resisting the urge to break the disk. Almost. A snap was heard and Ulquiorra walked into the kitchen area.

"So, Orihime, what's for breakfeast?" Ulquiorra asked.

"Who's Orihime?" Inoue asked defensively. "My name's Ivana, Lios-kun."

Ulquiorra stared at her antics and sighed. "Orihime, no one else is in this room, so no one else can hear us talking." Ulquiorra explained.

"Security cameras?" Inoue questioned the albino Espada.

"Rewired them." Ulquiorra said as he took a small drink from the cup which Inoue had left on the counter. Suddenly, Ulquiorra jerked and spit out the drink, if you could call it that. "What is that?!" Ulquiorra shouted out at Orihime.

"Just milk." Orihime replied simply. "With cinammin, hot sauce, crushed up wasabi bits, salt, and melted down almond hershey bars, why do you ask?" Yup, she's oblivious, Ulquiorra thought as he looked at her. He sighed and walked over toward a closet marked "Twister".

As he walked away, and picked up a PS3 controller and looked at the games Aizen had bought them. He looked at the cover of one titled Assasin's Creed, shrugged, and popped it into the console. Ulquiorra was unstoppable, he had nearly completed half the game in about forty minutes. While the game was on expert. Ulquiorra felt remarkably similar to his character, Altair. They were curious, lethat, sometimes questioned their leader's motives and paid for it, and the both ended up doing all the work with no physical help from other members of their group.

Ulquiorra then placed the controller down and walked toward the kitchen area. He saw Orihime smiling as she set down seven places at the table. Please, please, please lord, don't tell me… Ulquiorra quickly trailed off from this thought. He heard a knocking sound, and his worst nightmare came to life.

"We have company Lios-kun. Can you get the door?" Orihime said.

Grudgingly, Ulquiorra opened the door and let the rest of their ragtag party in. Grimmjow, Nnoitora, Syzael, and Thomas then all trampled over him and headed toward the living room area to play games. In particular, Super Smash Brothers Brawl. Michelle gave Ulquiorra a hand up, and walked into the kitchen to help Inoue with the cooking.

Ulquiorra sighed as he walked over to a human communication operating module processing unit touring entertainment regulation, or computer for short. He looked up a search online to amuse himself. He typed in his arrancar name. However, instead of amusing him, he chose to go to the first choice, which gave him a wary feeling. What he would see would disturb him beyond his wildest imagination. . He clicked on the first choice of story category "Anime/Manga" and saw a sub-category called Bleach. See how he thought it was about cleaning supplies, he clicked on it.

"Ivana-chan, could you come over here?" Ulquiorra asked weakly.

"Sure Lios-kun." Inoue came in, and looked over Ulquiorra's shoulder.

For one time in their exsistence, their thoughts were the same. What the hell is wrong with these people?!

After resolving to burn the computer, he walked over to Thomas and said "Get off the game brat."

"What?" Thomas said dryly. "Why should I?"

"I'm bigger than you." Ulquiorra used the universal logic of dominance.

Thomas, looking up and down, then paused for a moment, and seemed to be considering. That is, until he delivered a swift kick to Ulquiorra's groin, causing him to fall to his knees in pain.

"Now I'm bigger." Thomas said smugly.

"Come on in." Orihime shouted out. Then all the males/syzael went into the kitchen area. Except for Ulquiorra.

"Already ate." Ulquiorra said.

"Okay, more for me then." Orihime said, smiling and beaming at the food.

Three… Two… One... Now. Ulquiorra had timed exactly when all the men would rush into the nearest restroom. Ulquiorra then called Orihime and Michelle out into the living room area.

"Lios-kun, have you ever played Twister." Orihime asked, a mischievious look in her eye.

"No…" Ulquiorra said.

"Then let's play." Orihime said. "Michelle, can you do the spinning for us?"

"Sure." Michelle said.

Nnoitora then walked out and snickered. "So, Lios, you playing kama sutra for kids?" Nnoitora joked, snickering.

After ten minutes, Ulquiorra's groin was poking into Orihime's back, Orihime's hair was in Ulquiorra's eyes, somehow, Orihime had gotten her chest into Ulquiorra's face, and Ulquiorra's arm had somehow managed to reach aroud Orihime's back, through her legs, and reached a blue dot. Unfortunately, this is where fate is cruel. Thomas shouted out, "Gumdrops!" and, as the younger boy thought, Ulquiorra lost his balance out of surprise. The result? Ulquiorra attemting resist suffocation, Inoue having something big between her legs, and Grimmjow feeling up Michelle, for some unknown reason.

Orihime blushed and stood up. Ulquiorra did the same, before being dragged off by Grimmjow into another room.

"Grimmjow, what do you want?" Ulquiorra asked.

"I thought that before I'd ever have to do this, I'd have to die at the hands of a pervert, but… I need girl advice!" Grimmjow said. "I want you to teach me how to woo Michelle. Please?"

"No." Ulquiorra said.

"I'm begging here, come on." Grimmjow said. "If you don't, I'll play twister with Orihime." Ulquiorra's eyes widened at that thought.

"…Fine" Ulquiorra submitted. "Lessons start on Monday, got it?"

"Yes, thank you thank you thank you." Grimmjow said, smiling.

Ulquiorra walked back into the room and saw Orihime, in the kitchen with… "Mr. Polyar?!" Ulquiorra shouted out, almost shouting out Nnoitora's name.

"Lios-kun, you'll never believe it, but my dad can bake." Orihime informed Ulquiorra.

"Oi! Pretty boy!" Nnoitora shouted. "Get a movie from the downstairs rental."

"What was that?" Ulquiorra said as he cracked his knuckles ominously.

"Please, go down a get a movie." Orihime begged with puppy dog eyes.

"Fine." Ulquiorra went down, and returned in five minutes with six movies.

"What did you get?" Grimmjow asked.

"I thought I was getting a trilogy, but apparently, there are six movies in this series." Ulquiorra said.
"You brought popcorn, right?" Thomas asked.

"About 10 bags" Ulquiorra stated.

"It's done!" Nnoitora walked out of the kitchen with a cake that had a picture of Ulquiorra and Orihime in only a pair of boxers for Ulquiorra, and Orihime was only in ligerie that even Ulquiorra couldn't deny was seductive. On the top of the cake were the words "Lay… Her… Already." Ulquiorra looked at the pervert Espada disgustedly, but nevertheless took out a knife and cut the cake. He cut everyone one equal piece, and in about four minutes, that cake was finished. Then, the party popped the first episode into the DVD Player. They were awed, surprised, amazed, and freaked out when they learned that Luke had made out with his sister. However, Ulquiorra looked up online to find an activity to do. He had found out about Cirque de Soleil, and an interesting idea suddenly popped in his head as he mouthed the words "Cirque du Crainte"

Next time: The horror, the vileness, the blood and bodies. Welcome to Cirque du Crainte

A/N: I'm gonna enjoy the next chapter, after all, I get to put all my characters into a cirque. This oughtta be good.

Please leave a review okay,