A/N: Sorry for the wait, my life's been depressing and hectic. I've injured my knee really bad, my father's been pretty sick, my love life's going nowhere right now, and my first final's in high school. *sigh*

Grimmjow: *poke* Oi! Ulquiorra, he's not responding

Ulquiorra: So?

Grimmjow: You've gotta do the… you know

Ulquiorra: *sigh* we do not own any of the characters other than Thomas and Michelle, and own only the plot

Cirque de la Crainte

Ulquiorra smirked as he took out his cell phone and began to leave the room.

"Hey, albino man, where you going?" Thomas shouted to Ulquiorra.

Ulquiorra smirked and answered, "Just making a phone call to my office workers."

Grimmjow, Syzael, and Nnoitora all suddenly stiffened. "Who are you calling again?" Grimmjow asked, fear in his voice.

"My office workers, of course." Ulquiorra smirked, and for some reason, it was creeping the hell out of everyone except Thomas.

"Dad, could you pass me a cup of coffee?" Grimmjow said to Nnoitora, who complied with the sixth espada's request, although most of the coffee was spilled by the shaking Nnoitora.

"You work at an office, Lios?" Thomas asked, glaring at him.

"Why, of course." Ulquiorra gave him a pleasant smile.

Grimmjow, Nnoitora, and Syzael all began to shake uncontrollably. Syzael went into the kitchen and began to make massive amounts of coffee, as if his life depended on it. He walked back in with three massive coffee mugs.

----Five Hours Later----

All of the espada and humans, other than Orihime were asleep. Ulquiorra walked out of the door with a smirk on his face. Orihime found herself drifting slowly off to sleep.

Orihime woke up with Ichigo laying down in her bed with her. Face reder than should be possible, she jumped up, got dressed and ran out the door.

On her way to school, she ran into Rukia, whom she talked with for a small while. Rukia stopped and asked Orihime, "By the way, have you seen Ichigo?"

Orihime, stunned, answered after a moment "Nope, sorry."

"Uso."

"Rukia-chan? What do you mean lies?"

" Hime-chan, nande uso, skuno kana?"

"Rukia, why are you accusing me of lying?"

"Well, who did you go over with during spring break?"

"What do you mean Rukia-chan? And where were you and Rangiku-chan last night? I was worried." Koara-kun…

"Sorry Hime-chan, just like how you have your little secrets to keep, we have ours."

Orihime froze up as she looked into Rukia's catlike eyes. Wait a minute, catlike eyes?!

The school day went by without any unusual occurences, but Orihime couldn't get that image of Rukia with catlike eyes out of her head. She also swore that she saw Ichigo glare at her with similar eyes.

At her house, both Ichigo and Rukia were waiting for her. Ichigo had a metal baseball bat in his hands, and Rukia had a briefcase.

"Rukia-chan? Kurosaki-kun?"

"How could you seduce me, Orihime?!"

"I told Ichigo everything. Don't bother trying to lie."

"Why are you taking a needle out of that briefcase, Rukia-chan?"

Hehehehe…

"Rukia-chan?"

Crash! Tap-tap-tap-tap. Skidd. Grab. Tap-tap-tap. Schluck! Wham! Wham! Wham! Silence… Drip.

"Nande?"

"…"

"…"

"Why? Why did I have to do this?"

Tap-tap-tap-tap. Skidd. Tap-tap-tap-tap. Skidd. Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding. Briingg. Briingg.

"Hello?"
"Rangiku-chan?"

"Orihime? Why are you calling me?"

"I did something horrible to Kurosaki-kun and Rukia-chan."

"What are you talking about?"

"I...sob… I killed Kurosaki-kun."

"What?! What are you doing now?!"

"…"

"Orihime?"

Scratch-scritch-scratch.

"Orihime? You're not clawing out your throat, are you?"

Orihime awoke with a start, Ulquiorra shaking her violently, Grimmjow, Syzael, and Nnoitora behind him. Tears were flowing down her face uncontrolled.

"U-Ulquiorra-san?" Orihime whispered. Ulquiorra pulled her in close and silently spoke.

"Thank god." Orihime hugged Ulquiora back.

"Explain. Now." Grimmjow said.

"I… I get it alright." Ulquiorra said. "Come on out Himitsu."

A blue-haired, large-bosomed arrancar came out of the wall. Her mask covered one of her eyes, and her hair was messy and long. "Understood, Ulquiorra-kun." Orihime then decided that this woman must die.

---One Talk Later---

"So, this woman is Ulquiorra's fraccion?"

"Yes, Orihime-sama."

"And her resurreccion allows her to cause nightmares?"

"Yes, Orihime-sama."

"And she infiltrated my and everyone elses' dreams to play pranks on us?"

"Yes, Orihime-sama."

"Get rid of her."

"But, Orihime-sama."

"Now!"

"Ulquiorra-kun…"

"Please leave, Himitsu."

"… Yes, Ulquiorra-kun."

"Bye-bye!"

You are dead Ulquiorra, you baka!

"Ulquiorra-san, you're going shopping with me as payback alright?"

"Yes."

Ulquiorra, I'll make you suffer!!

"Hahahahaha…"

A/N: Sorry if it lacks humor, but I've really been diving into other anime lately, so I had to do this Higurashi-type parody.

Ulquiorra: He's alive again.

?: I want in now.

Are you sure its alright if I do this? I mean, ILMB will be pretty mad about it…

?: Do it, I must drive Ulquiorra to the point of Insanity!

Ulquiorra: You aren't seriously wanting to let him in this, are you?

Hehehehehe