Author's Note: So, when I wrote this, I have to say that I found inspiration from well Michael's song The Way You Make Me Feel. I remember when I was younger, oh who am I kidding, I still wonder at 22 what it would have been like to dance or just be associated with him in any way. Mmm good thing to think about. That is all :)
Chapter 6: The Way You Make Me Feel…What A Fiasco
"If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater."-Anonymous
I walk through the massive backstage area, calling hello's to people as I pass by. I catch sight of Max, and smile knowing that he will be able to point me in the right direction.
" Hey Max, have you seen Michael?" I ask, running to catch up with Michael's right hand man.
" Oh hey Dani, yeah, he was just running through a sound check before dress rehearsal starts. Anything I can help you with?" Max asks, and I smile shaking my head as I skirt around boxes easily. After nearly a month I have learned the layout of the backstage, in fact I probably know it better than the back of my hand.
" No I was just curious. Carly-Ann has been attached to his hip since she was released from the hospital so I know that if I find him, she wont be far behind," I say, chuckling lightly at the connection between my daughter and my boss.
" Bingo!. She's out there, sitting front row center," he says, and I smile with thanks, heading for the stage.
" Dani, Dani," someone calls my name, and I turn in time to see one of my Michael's back up singers, Siedah calling my name.
" Oh hey Siedah, what's up?" I ask, stopping so that she can catch up to me.
" There's a bit of a problem with one of the costumes for tonight. Well more like a problem with the person who was supposed to be wearing the costume," Siedah says, and I look at her curiously.
" How exactly can I help here?" I ask, thoroughly confused.
" Well, just follow me," she says, and before I can protest she grabs my hand dragging me at a quick pace to the wardrobe room. I try to keep up the pace, barley missing crates of equipment as we rush by them. I thank my lucky stars that we reach the wardrobe room in one piece.
" Okay, so you have been with us for what, almost a month now?" Siedah asks, pushing me into the room closing the door tightly behind us.
" Uh yeah, a month tomorrow, your point?" I ask, as I watch her ruffle through the clothes.
" My point is, you know Michael by now. You know that his vision for his shows are ever changing. I cant tell you how many times we will be set the night before a show, only to be called in hours before said show to re-do the entire thing," she says, talking in a hurried voice.
" Yeah, that's Michael for you," I murmur, stunned when she slaps some clothes into my hand.
" Well, something like that just happened today. He decided to add a song to the set list," she says, staring at me expectedly.
" Okay, I'm still not following," I say, holding the clothes tightly.
" The song he added was The Way You Make Me Feel, and the girl who would usually fill in such a role doesn't fit the costume anymore. You're the only one who will," she says, and I drop the clothes like they are on fire.
" What, no, uh uh. I'm the assistant Siedah, not a dancer, I cant even dance," I say, knowing that what I just said was a lie. The truth is I was a pretty fantastic dancer, before I gave it up.
" That's not what we hear. Carly-Ann ratted you out already sugar, you're the only one we have that will make this work. Mike doesn't know yet, so I need you to change into this outfit," she says, picking the clothes back up, shoving them into my hands.
" Siedah, no I cant," I say, wishing that I had gotten the hell out of dodge when I could have.
" Dani, yes you can. I will teach you the moves myself, you'll be brilliant. Now hurry up," she says, turning her back to me so that I can change. I groan miserably as I stare at her turned back. I sigh, muttering to myself as I pull of my shirt. I unbutton my shorts, letting them slide to the ground. I slip into the slinky dress and Siedah turns to look at me.
" Smokin', but hun, you have to lose the bra," she says, and I blush deeply. Siedah turns her finger in a circle, and I turn around, jumping at the feel of her fingers quickly undoing the clasp of my bra. I slide it off, dropping it on the pile of clothes on the floor. " Girl, this dress was made for you. Look at yourself." I look past her into the full length mirror and cant help but blush deeper. The clingy black dress lays snugly to my upper thighs, and I tug at it. Though the more I tug to lengthen the dress the lower it becomes around my breasts.
" Siedah, I don't know about this," I say, grimacing at myself in the mirror.
" Hush. Now hopefully you're a quick study," she says, pulling out a cassette tape from her pocket. She pops it noiselessly into the boom box, as I watch her every move. " Okay, so this is relatively an easy dance. Mostly its just going to be a lot of walking and flirting on your part, until the end. And the end changes from show to show, depending on Michael's vision. Anyways, so when the music starts you will take two eight counts for to walk onto the stage. Your ending spot will be a small square of red tape. There will be a group of male dancers, now they will get kind of touchy but remember its all an act, and the majority of them bat for their own team, if you catch my drift." I snort at that remark, only because I know how true it is. " Now, you will pass through them, and then a small light will build, and build revealing Mike. You walk right past him, that's when he will yell at you. Remember it's going to be really loud, so don't jump out of your skin. Mostly you get to just stand there, roll your eyes, make faces, act totally blasé. Then it's the big dance solo, you guys hug, and lights out, you got it?"
" Uhm yeah I think so," I say, and before the sentence is even fully out of my mouth Siedah is pulling me from the wardrobe room towards the stage.
" Okay people, run through of The Way You Make Me Feel," Michael's voice rings through the auditorium, and I shiver with nervousness. I watch as he runs to the opposite side of the stage, and the lights dim.
" Go get 'em girl," Siedah says, pushing me lightly towards the stage. Then it comes back to me, as the beat courses through my body. I walk onto the stage, my high heels clicking in time with music, and I catch the soft murmurs from the surprised male dancers as I make it to the group within the sixteen counts. Their hands race over my body as I try to push through them, and a few times I catch myself almost giggling at the hushed whispers of 'We never knew you were a dancer.' I compose myself as I push past them and walk towards a slightly stunned Michael, passing right by him, my shoulder brushing his teasingly.
"Hey!" he yells, and I stop casting a look at him over my shoulder, a flirtatious smile fixed to my lips. For the next ten minutes I remember what it was about dancing that I loved so much, the thrill, the excitement. At the end of it when I'm wrapped in Michael's arms and the lights dim, reality sets in as I pull away, smiling shyly.
" Wow," Michael says, and I drop my head, bouncing forward on my toes.
" Yay Mama," Carly-Ann yells, clapping her hands enthusiastically from her seat in the front row with Max.
" Sorry, Siedah kind of cornered me into this, I hope it didn't throw you off," I say, linking my hands together.
" Consider it a welcome surprise," he murmurs winking at me, before turning to the dancers. " One more time, from the top." I smile as I walk back to my spot, realizing this wouldn't be so bad after all.
I fidget nervously in my chair as the make up artist works on me.
" Hold still woman, or so help me you will lose an eye," Patrick says, and I giggle automatically stiffening my body.
" What am I thinking Patrick. I'm an assistant, not a dancer," I say, looking around to make sure that Michael isn't in hearing range of my question.
" Darling, remember, everything happens for a reason. Your going to be amazing," he says, grabbing my face in his hands to apply the dark red lipstick.
" Dani five minutes," one of the technicians call to me, and I groan sliding from my chair.
" Dani," Patrick calls to me so I turn to look at him. " Break a leg." I smile nodding my head as I make my way to the stage. I watch Michael as he is heading to the last part of Human Nature. A pair of arms encircle my hips and I look down to see Carly-Ann smiling up at me.
" You look pretty Mama," Carly-Ann says, and I kneel down hugging her tightly.
" Thank you baby," I say, standing up slowly. " Oh, looks like I'm up." I turn towards the stage, the lights out, and count my heart beats to keep myself calm. I take a deep breath and start my walk, its now, or never.
I sit in the wardrobe room, the door locked tightly behind me. Things had gone exactly like it should have, as was rehearsed. Until the end, when amongst the cheers of the crowds for Michael to kiss me, he did just that. He kissed me. His lips pressed warmly to mine, his hand cupping the back of my head just like he did the night Carly-Ann had to have surgery. I pull my shirt on tucking it quickly into my jean skirt. I stare at myself in the mirror, touching a finger to my lips lightly. What did it mean? Was it all part of the act, of the show. Giving in to his fans demands perhaps? I sigh as I pull my hair out of my face, pulling it into a tight ponytail. I leave the wardrobe room, and walk into a circle of dancers, all who start clapping the instant they see me.
" Dani, that was amazing girl," someone yells, and I'm pushed from arm to arm for tight hugs.
" Thank you guys," I say, honestly humbled that they thought I was so good.
" Don't thank us, you have a gift Dani, an amazing gift," one of them says, and I smile blushing deeply.
" Thank you all very much. I have to go though, I have a little girl who needs to be getting to bed," I say, pushing through them so I can find my little girl. I walk slowly, wrapping my arms around myself, smiling when I hear Carly-Ann giggling.
" There you are pretty girl," I say, laughing when Carly-Ann launches herself at me. I pick her, twirling her around making her laugh.
" Mama, you did so good," Carly-Ann exclaims, and I smile kissing her noisily.
" Thank you baby," I say, hitching her on my hip. I look up and see Michael smiling at me, his eyes full of humor.
" She's right. You did amazing. So amazing in fact that I'm keeping the number in the show, with you, only you as the object of my affection," Michael says dramatically, and I smile.
" Uhm Michael, can we talk about this later, after we get back to the hotel?" I ask, looking at him seriously.
" Yeah sure. Lets go, before it gets too late, looks like someone is already falling asleep," he says, leading the way. We push through a pair of double doors and the flash of cameras and the noise has me jumping.
" Michael, Michael is this the new love of your life?" someone yells, and I close my eyes, flinching away from the flashing lights. Tight hands wrap around me, as we push through the crowd of people, and I guard Carly-Ann the best that I can. I had a feeling something big was about to happen, and before I can voice my concerns all hell breaks loose. A swarm of people breaks through the flimsy barrier, screaming Michael's name the entire time. I gasp as people start pummeling me in their desperate attempts to get to Michael. Before I can react, Max grabs Carly-Ann from my arms, holding my daughter tightly to his chest, his large hand covering my daughters hair. Even though the roar of the crowd is deafening I can hear Carly-Ann's shrill screams for me. I watch as he pushes through the ocean of people, and I pant as I push myself up to my tiptoes trying to assure myself that Max made it to the awaiting car with my daughter. A warm hand grabs mine and I see its Michael, his fingers lacing with mine as a bodyguard manages to pull him through the crowd effortlessly with me in tow. I honestly believe that we are going to make it to the car somewhat unscathed until the force of people grabbing for Michael pulls me from his grasp.
" Michael!" I scream out, but my voice is lost in the rabid screams of the fans. " Michael!" I start feeling somewhat like a pinball ball, being bounced between people. I scream out in pain when an elbow catches me in my face, the force of it knocking me to my knees. I cover myself with my arms, trying to shield my head from the abusing hands and feet of the frenzied people. I don't know how long I'm on the ground for, unrelenting fans pummeling over me. My entire body screams in agony, as I spit blood onto the ground, the coppery taste making me want to vomit. Finally, after what seems like an eternity the sound of whistles and the shrieks of sirens rip through my head and I pant thanking God that it's almost over. I look up when a pair of firm arms grab me from around my waist pulling me to my feet.
" Dani, Dani are you okay?" someone calls to me, but their voice sounds so far away, and their face swims before my eyes.
" Max," I stammer out, my eyes flooding with tears. " Where's Carly-Ann?"
" She's okay, she's fine she is already on her way back to the hotel. Come on, let me get you out of here," Max says, lifting me in his strong arms, and after that everything goes dark.
Michael's POV
I pace my hotel room furiously. This had been the single most wonderful night that I had had in a very long time. Kissing Dani, was, beautiful. Impulsive, quiet possible the stipidest thing I ave ever done, but beautiful nonetheless. I had every intention of finding any and all means of keeping her in the show. No matter what her argument was. I have never felt that kind of chemistry with someone, ever. Then I lose her in a crowd of fans, God only knows just how long she was out there before Max found her, if he found her. I throw my ripped up shirt with frustration across the room. Why hasn't he called yet? I told him to call the minute he found her. I drop into a chair resting my elbows on my knees, dropping my head into my hands. A soft knock on my door has me racing to answer it.
" Oh Siedah, have you heard anything?" I ask, staring into the face of one of my closest friends.
" No not yet. Carly-Ann's asking for you," Siedah says, her face wrinkled with worry. I sigh, turning to grab a shirt from my chair, sliding it on before making my way to Carly-Ann.
" Hey kiddo, what's the matter sweet heart," I ask, sitting on the side of Carly-Ann's bed, my heart breaking as I look into her swimming eyes.
" Where's Mama? Why were all those people grabbing you and Mama?" Carly-Ann asks, tears spilling down her pale cheeks.
" She's on her way sweet heart. And those people, they meant no harm they just got really excited that's all," I say, reassuring her as I move to sit next to her. I cross my feet at the ankles, and sigh softly, content when she curls up next to me. I run my fingers through her silky hair, and start singing softly. 'Smile, though your heart is aching, smile, even though its breaking…' I smile when I look down and see Carly-Ann sleeping soundly. The phone rings jolting me back to reality and I answer it quickly hoping that Carly-Ann doesn't wake.
" Mike, it's Max, I got her. She got pretty beat up, that crowd was insane. We'll be there in less than five, have the doctor waiting," Max says quickly, hanging up before I can say anything. I slide off the bed, tucking the blanket securely around Carly-Ann's sleeping form. I leave the room, stopping at Siedah's room asking her to stay with Carly-Ann for the night. I make it to my room just in time to see Max carrying Dani in his arms. My heart sinks into my stomach at the sight of blood drying at the corner of her mouth, and I open my door quickly letting Max walk past me. Time to see how much damage I've done to this angel.
Dani's POV
I float in and out of consciousness, my eyes fluttering slowly as I fight to open them. My head is throbbing furiously, and the light is blinding me. A soft cool cloth is pressed to my forehead, and I moan turning my head trying to curl away from the pain. Invasive hands touch me, and as much as I try to restrain myself, the screams are inevitable.
" Isn't there anything else we can do?" an anxious voice asks, and I float away before I can hear the answer. I don't know where I'm floating off to, but in the darkness it doesn't hurt so much. I wake up, opening my eyes slowly. I groan, turning my head from side to side.
" Dani," a velvet voice calls to me, and I smile recognizing it instantly. Michael.
" Where am I?" I ask, trying to sit up, but my body screams at me, protesting against my movement.
" Just lay down. Your in my room, you got trampled pretty good Dani," Michaels voice says, and I feel my eyes widen, flashes of the horrific situation flashing before my eyes.
" Carly-Ann, I have to find Carly-Ann," I say, sitting up quickly, my head spinning even as I shake it trying to clear my vision.
" No, you need to rest. Carly-Ann is just fine, Siedah's with her," he says, pushing me lightly, yet firmly back into the soft pillows.
" Oh okay, good," I say, tears springing unexpectedly to my eyes. I lay silent for a minute, trying to gain control of my warring emotions.
" Dani, I am so sorry. I should have held onto you, I thought I had a pretty good grasp on you, but the crowd was just so big," he says suddenly, his voice filled with remorse.
" Don't you dare apologize. This wasn't your fault. And I'm fine," I say, sitting up slowly so that I can look at him better. His usually angelic and smooth face marred with worry and anxiety. Everything within me screams at me to reach for him, smooth away any and all worry and pain that he feels.
" You aren't fine Dani, look at you. You got hurt because of me. Carly-Ann could have very well been down there with you if Max wasn't such a quick thinker," he argues, and I sigh heavily.
" Well then, just send us home," I say, not giving in to his self deprecating attitude.
" What?" he asks, his eyes growing wide with confusion.
" You heard me, if this is all your fault then just send Carly-Ann and me home," I say, crossing my arms across my chest. He stares at me, his eyes crossing over my face, and I can tell that he is trying to read me.
" Absolutely not. I just wont have you dancing in the show anymore, that's what started all of this," he says, and I roll my eyes laughing sarcastically at him.
" Oh yeah, a ten minute dance is what caused this entire thing Michael, it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that your Michael 'King of Pop' Jackson," I say, smirking. " This type of thing would have happened sooner or later Mike. And guess what? I'm fine. A little sore yeah, bruised sure, but there is nothing that a long hot bubble bath and a great make-up artist cant fix."
" Dani, I just cant stand the idea of you or Carly-Ann being in danger because of me," he says, throwing his hands up in frustration. Now here's a side of him I hadn't seen before. The frustrated Michael, angry almost.
" It was a calculated risk that I took when I agreed to take the job Michael. I knew there would be fans, crazy fans who would do just about anything to see you, to touch you. My daughter is my first priority, and my daughter was taken care of. Now unless you failed to tell me that she was harmed in some way, everything is fine. I'm fine. My daughter is fine. Your fine," I say, taking his hand in mine to assure him that everything is all right.
" Your so stubborn Daniella," he murmurs, running a finger down my cheek.
" I know," I say, smiling at him brightly. My eyes drift close against my will, and I sink back into the darkness, the warmth of Michael's hand still in mine, keeping me anchored, keeping me safe.