Author's Note: Okay, so yeah this chapter is a little on the sadder side. But I like it so, hopefully ya'll will too :) Enjoy!
Chapter 9: You Belong To Me
"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." ~Kahlil Gibran
I race through the backstage area, trying to get to hair and make up in time. Tonight is the final show before a two month break. It's not that I didn't like Romania, it was a beautiful country, with wonderful people, but in truth, I cant wait to be on the plane tomorrow night going home. I missed everything about California. The warmth, the crowds, but most of all I missed my family. Over the last month my Mom had become more accustomed to seeing me in the paper, and she even congratulated me for getting the side job of 'The Way You Make Me Feel' girl. I smile, humming with excitement, knowing that tonight my Mother and brothers would be able to watch me, on live television, along with a billion on other people. I gulp at the thought, turning a corner quickly, racing head long into somebody.
" Oh, sorry," I say, looking up at the strong arms that caught me. " Never mind I'm not sorry at all." Michael's quick laughter rolling over me.
" Uh oh, is someone still bitter about the water war?" Michael asks, grinning wildly. Bitter doesn't even describe it. It's one thing to wake me up, another thing entirely to wake me up by spraying me down with a super soaker.
" Shut up," I say, pushing him lightly, unable to actually stay angry with him.
" You think that was bad, just wait until I get you and Carly-Ann to Neverland," he says, pulling his shirt over his head while one of the costume assistants helps him into his blue button up shirt. That remark catches me off guard. I didn't think we would be going to Neverland, I had just assumed Carly-Ann and I would find a home or apartment nearby. Before I can press him for details, he winks at me.
" Show time beautiful," he says, walking to the dark wings of the stage. I shake myself out of my dazed state and walk to my waiting spot. I go through the motions of the dance, listening to Michael's voice, only Michael's voice. The sound of everything else, the back up music, the roar of the crowd, all of it is nonexistent when I'm dancing with him. Just when he is about to finish the song with the routine kiss Michael presses his lips close to my ear.
" This time, kiss me like you mean it," he whispers, pressing his lips firmly to mine. My body reacts instinctively as I press my body into his, his hand cupping the back of my neck. When the lights dim I can swear that he holds the kiss a few seconds longer than normal before breaking it off. I rush off the stage before he has the time to say anything, running as fast as my high heeled feet will take me. I slam into the empty dressing room, pressing my back to the door as I pant, trying to catch my breath. There was no mistaking it this time, no matter what fantasy I had built in my head, I felt it this time, really felt it. My heart breaks as I slide against the door. I know what I have to do, to protect myself, my family, but most of all to protect Carly-Ann from the inevitable heart break.
I sit in my hotel room, Carly-Ann sleeping deeply, a pen and paper before me. I run my fingers over my face, looking around me at all of the balls of paper surrounding me. Evidence that the letter I'm writing, or needing to write, isn't coming easily. I sigh loudly, leaning forward taking the pen in my hand.
' Michael,
You have been nothing but wonderful to Carly-Ann and me, and what I have to say is going to hurt you, and if I could do this without hurting you believe me I would. When I took this job, I took it, promising myself that Carly-Ann would come first, she has to come first. I am afraid that she is getting far too attached to you Michael, and I worry that if something were to happen, like I had to leave or heaven forbid I got fired, it would crush Carly-Ann. She has already been through too much for such a young girl, and I cant let anything else hurt her. That's only partially true. The truth is, I'm getting to attached Michael. You mean so much to me, more than I could ever express. I don't know what I would do if one day you woke up and realized you didn't need or want me and my little girl around anymore. I think I would shatter right then and there. Thank you, for this experience, for your friendship, for everything. I'm sorry Michael. Take care.
Love Always, Dani.'
I stare at the words on the page, tears clouding my eyes. What I really should have put was that I was too afraid to get any closer. Afraid of what might happen to me, what would happen to my heart. I know that even if something were to go bad between Michael and I that he would never hurt her. The love that is between them is far too great, too deep. I fight with myself the entire time that I'm packing, telling myself that I'm dong what's right for Carly-Ann, for me, and in the long run for Michael. A soft knock on my door has me jumping out of my skin. I tiptoe to my door, peeping through the peephole. Siedah's glowing face comes into view and I sigh pulling the door open.
" You missed it girl. The crowd went insane for you after you and Michael got done dancing, what's this?" Siedah asks, looking at my open suitcases. " We aren't leaving until tomorrow night."
" Carly-Ann and I are leaving tonight," I say dully, kneeling down to zip up our luggage.
" What, why? Did you and Michael get an early flight or something?" she asks, and I shake my head, tears falling onto the back of my hands.
" I'm leaving Siedah," I say, pushing myself to my feet. A hint of understanding flickers over her face.
" You cant, what about Michael? Your job?" she stammers, her eyes shining with pain.
" I have to. I, I cant do this anymore Siedah. What if something were to happen? If Michael decided he just didn't want us around? That would kill Carly-Ann, I wont let her get hurt again," I say, thinking that by saying my excuses out loud it sounds feasible.
" Oh that's bull Dani, your too afraid to get any closer. You know better than most that Mike would rather cut off his arm than ever hurt Carly-Ann, your doing this for you," she says, her voice accusing me, her words cutting through me.
" SO what if I am? I just, I cant do it. I'm sorry Siedah. Please, just give this to Michael, okay?" I say, picking Carly-Ann up in my arms, pulling my luggage behind me. I don't let out the breath I'm holding until we're situated in the taxi. I lay my head back, one hand on Carly-Ann's hair, the other over my heart as I try to stifle the tears.
Michael's POV
I tap my foot rapidly against the floor of the elevator, adrenaline and excitement coursing through me. It wasn't the show, or the reaction from the crowd that has my blood humming, it's the kiss. It's Dani. It's been her from the very beginning. I had searched for Dani incessantly after the show but she was nowhere to be found. Of course, I figured that Carly-Ann got tired so she brought her back to the hotel to get some much needed rest. I rush off the elevator running to Dani's room, and I knock softly. Tonight would be the night, the night I ask Dani to come to Neverland, her and Carly-Ann. I'm only slightly caught off guard when Siedah answers the door.
" Hey, where's Dani?" I ask, leaning nonchalantly against the door.
" She's gone Michael, she left with Carly-Ann almost an hour ago," Siedah answers slowly, and I smile not catching the sullen undertone of her words.
" Well, where did they go, when are they coming back? I need to talk to her," I say, bouncing into the room. It feels different, something was off about the energy.
" She isn't coming back Mike, I tried talking to her, she said she was doing it for, damn it Mike, she told me to give you this. I'm sorry," she says, handing me a slip of paper, brushing a hand over my shoulder. I wait until the door closes behind her, my eyes blind by unexpected tears, to unfold the note. Her beautiful and precise handwriting stands out the words reverberating in my head.
' Michael,
You have been nothing but wonderful to Carly-Ann and me, and what I have to say is going to hurt you, and if I could do this without hurting you believe me I would. When I took this job, I took it, promising myself that Carly-Ann would come first, she has to come first. I am afraid that she is getting far too attached to you Michael, and I worry that if something were to happen, like I had to leave or heaven forbid I got fired, it would crush Carly-Ann. She has already been through too much for such a young girl, and I cant let anything else hurt her. That's only partially true. The truth is, I'm getting to attached Michael. You mean so much to me, more than I could ever express. I don't know what I would do if one day you woke up and realized you didn't need or want me and my little girl around anymore. I think I would shatter right then and there. Thank you, for this experience, for your friendship, for everything. I'm sorry Michael. Take care.
Love Always, Dani.'
I press the letter to my heart closely. This cant be right, she's so wrong. Did she not get it. I wanted her, no it was so much than just simply wanting her. I needed her. I could never stop needing her. I mechanically walk from my room and with every step I take I find myself moving faster. I slam into my room, grabbing the telephone pounding the numbers.
" Max, meet me in my room, ten minutes," I snap out, slamming the phone down roughly. It took me too long to work up to this, nothing was going to get in the way now.
Dani's POV
I hold Carly-Ann close, her tears shaking her little body.
" Mama, we have to go back, we have too," Carly-Ann wails, and I rock her back and forth trying my hardest to console her.
" I told you Carly-Ann we cant. We are going home, to California. Tomorrow night you'll be seeing Grandma, Uncle Brandon and Kyle again, wont that be great," I say, trying my hardest to make my voice sound happy. The fact of the matter is I too wish I could weep. Wish that I hadn't done this. That I could just rewind, and change my mind. Decide to stay. I look up at the clock on the wall. Our flight doesn't leave for another two hours, and I groan. I shouldn't complain though, I was lucky that I even got tickets.
" Bu, but what about Mikey. We cant leave him Mama, he needs us, and we need him too. He loves us Mama," she stammers, and I wince.
" Oh baby, of course Michael loves you. It's just, this isn't a good life for you Carly-Ann. You need to be around kids your age, in school," I say, grasping for any excuse that would subdue my crying daughter.
" Your aren't hearing me Mama, Mikey love you too," she screams, and I slide lower in my chair, blushing at the faces that turn to look towards me.
" Carly-Ann, Mi-" I say, but then a sudden outburst of screams stops me mid-sentence. I don't understand a word that is being said, but two words stand out to me.
" Michael Jackson!" the crowd screams, and I gasp. I stand up, a sniffling Carly-Ann lifting her head from my shoulder.
" Mikey," she screams, and I try to duck out of the line of sight, but its too late, Max grasps my elbow firmly in his hands.
" I'm sorry Dani, but unless you want Michael to get lost in a sea of crazed fans, come with me," Max says, and I nod my head, staying close to Max's side, pushing through the crowd of people. Michael glances at me, the pain evident in his eyes, and it tears at my heart. I never meant to hurt him, I was only trying to save myself.
The ride in the limo is mostly silent, save for the soft murmuring going on between Carly-Ann and Michael.
" Thank you Mikey, I knew you'd come," Carly-Ann says, and I catch a glimpse of Michael smiling from the corner of my eye.
" Well, I couldn't let her take my favorite girl away could I?" Michael answers back, making Carly-Ann giggle. Soon we're in the familiar back entrance of the hotel, and I open the door slowly.
" Max, I bet that if you took Carly-Ann up to her room right now, there will be sundae's waiting for you both," Michael says, lifting Carly-Ann from her seat. Carly-Ann's answering squeal makes me smile momentarily.
" Ooo, what are we waiting for kiddo, lets go," Max says, and before he turns to leave with Carly-Ann in tow, he brushes a supportive hand over my shoulder. I follow Michael into the elevator, twisting my fingers nervously. I jump slightly when the elevator dings, caught slightly by surprise when Michael grasps my elbow dragging me from the small space. I jump slightly when he slams the door to his room behind us, and I cant take my eyes off of him. He pinches the bridge of his nose, pacing back and forth in front of me.
" Michael I," I attempt to break the silence, but he just puts up his hand, silencing me instantly.
" Do you have any idea what you just did to me? The hell you just put me through," he asks, his voice dangerously calm.
" I'm sorry. I just, I have to do what I feel is right for Carly-Ann," I say, stammering out, my voice hitching with each word.
" Daniella, you know me. Look at me, would I ever, ever do anything to hurt that little girl?" he asks, his eyes shining brightly, his arms outstretched.
" No," I force the words out, the hot ball of tears suffocating me.
" Daniella, I know that this whole thing has been a rollercoaster, and I know that its all so new to you. But you have to trust me. I would never do anything to hurt Carly-Ann or you," he says, stepping towards me, pulling me into a tight hug. I hug him stiffly.
'You already have hurt me, you made me fall in love with you, you kissed me. You've shown me who you really are, and you dont even know it,' I think to myself, my heart burning in my chest.
" Just tell me your going to stay." He says, and I look up at him, my eyes burning fiercely. I nod my head slightly.
" Good, I'd hate to have to pull out the big guns," he says, and I giggle wiping my eyes quickly.
" Like what?" I ask, falling back into our normal banter.
" Legal big guns. See Dani, when you signed the contract you signed until the end of the tour. Face it beautiful, you belong to me." he says, smiling at me with a quick wink. I smile, those words should have bothered me, but the thought of belonging to Michael, no matter what the amount of time, doesn't seem all that bad.