Author's Note: Okay, so here is Chapter 12. Enjoy.

Chapter 12: You Can Count On That

" In three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life; it goes on,"-Robert Frost

Time passes, no matter how hard you wish for it to just stop, to rewind it, to stay forever suspended in a certain moment, it never stops. It's always going, never ceasing. I don't know how much time has passed. What day it was, the hour, the minutes, none of it mattered. I lay in the middle of my bed, curled onto my side, holding Carly-Ann's stuffed hippo to my chest. I close my eyes on the thought of my once vibrantly beautiful daughter. The first days after her death passed by in a quick blur. Plans, arrangements, people incessantly asking me if I was okay? What an asinine question to ask someone who had to bury their child. I roll over restlessly, staring at the ceiling, the all too familiar tears sliding down my cheeks. Her funeral was beautiful, fit for the little princess that she was. Hundreds of people came, words were spoken, and yet at the end of it all I was left alone, to grieve the loss of the single most important thing of my life. What was left to live for? I knew people were worried, evidence of said worry was the fact that they wouldn't leave me alone for more than a damn hour. Can't a woman grieve in peace? I close my eyes, flashes of the night Carly-Ann died dancing in my head. I sit up, sliding off the bed walking to the room that my daughter had loved so much. Nothing changed. I didn't move a thing. I sit on the pink play carpet, pulling my knees to my chest, staring at my daughters bed. I look around, Carly-Ann's hand painted wish box catching my attention. I take it into my hands, lifting the small lid, smiling with pain at the picture that has been pasted to the underside of the lid. I pull out the top slip of paper, opening it slowly. Blinking furiously through the tears that surge to my eyes at the sight of my daughter's cramped handwriting.

'Dear Santa,

I know its eerly, but, I know what I want for Christmas this year. I want Mikey to be my daddy. He is perfect, hes funny, and he loves me, and Mama. I have been super good and that's all I want.

Love, Carly-Ann.'

I finish reading, my eyes blurred with tears and slight humor at my daughters misspelled but loving note to Santa. Holding the tiny piece of paper to my chest weeping as I rock back and forth, eventually laying down, falling asleep, into dreams made up of memories.

'Mama,' Carly-Ann says, and I look down at her, smiling as I pull the brush through her sandy blonde hair.

'Yes baby,' I murmur, looking into the mirror noting her serious expression.

'Do you believe in Neverland? That there really is somewhere where kids can go and never grow up?' she asks, her soft eyes dancing in the glow of the lights in her room.

'Of course I do baby. It's a wonderful place, its exactly like its described in the book I have been reading to you. Beautiful. You can spend your time swimming in Mermaid Lagoon, or playing with the fairy's at Pixie Hollow. It's a magical place sweet daughter of mine, one you can go to anytime you want too,' I say, wrapping my arms around her, hugging her closely.

'I think I would like to stay in Neverland forever Mama, forever,' she giggles, and I smile lifting her in my arms so that she can fly before I tuck her into bed.

Michael's POV

" No, nothings changed Brandon, I'm getting worried," I say, pressing my fingers to my temple trying to rub away the incessant headache.

" I know Mike. I actually came here with a purpose. My Mom thinks it would be a good idea, and healthier for Dani in the long run, if she came home," Brandon says, looking at me with somber eyes. I sigh, laying my head back against the chair I'm sitting in. Part of me agreeing. Carly-Ann wasn't my child, yet whenever I walked by the front door and cated a look at the spot where her young life ended the tears come and the ache in my chest feels big enough to swallow me. I couldn't begin to imagine the pain Dani is feeling.

" I can totally understand where your coming from, where your Mom is coming from, but inevitably the decision is Dani's" I say, sitting up to look at Brandon. I didn't notice before the dark circles shadowing under his eyes.

" I know, but I told Mom that I would come and try talking to her," he says, and I nod my head totally understanding his position.

" I just wish that she would talk to me. I feel, so guilty. The last time I saw Carly-Ann she was upset with me, if I could just take it back," I say, closing my eyes tightly. In the week since Carly-Ann died, Brandon and Kyle have frequently visited, our connection growing deep in such a horrible time.

" Mike you cant beat yourself up over what was a misunderstanding. My niece loved you, it was amazing the way she connected to you. Wherever she is now, she knows the truth," he says, and I should find some sense of comfort in his words but it doesn't alleviate my guilt any.

" That isn't the point Brandon. The last memory of me that she had was of me and Lisa Marie kissing, if that had never happened, Carly-Ann would still be here," I say, the anger I feel building inside me has me throwing a glass across my office. It shatters against a far wall, and I look up my breath coming quickly when I notice Dani standing in the doorway her eyes flooding with tears, her skin pale, almost translucent. The dark circles under her eyes standing out sickly, evidence of her lack of sleep.

" It's because of you? My daughter is dead because of you?" Dani says, her voice angry. " How could you, you were her best friend. She must have told you what she wanted, that she wanted you to be her." she trails off, her body vibrating violently. Before I can rush to her to try and explain she turns around and starts running.

" Dani, wait!" I yell, racing after her. I have to make this right. I have too.

Dani's POV

I woke up slowly, the dream I had of Carly-Ann somehow lifting my spirits somewhat. I decide that my daughter would want me to live my life, so what better way to live than to bury myself in work, what else do I have to live for? I walk slowly down the empty halls once bright with her laughter stopping outside of Michael's office when I hear the voice of Brandon. I listen in on the conversation, how my mother thinks I should come home, cringing at the thought. I saw the way my mom looked at me at Carly-Ann's funeral. An accusatory glint in her eyes. As if I didn't already know it was my fault that my daughter is gone. My heart lifts slightly when Michael tells him that its my choice. I lift my hand slowly to knock on the door but what Michael says next has fury boiling through my blood. 'The last memory of me that she had was of me and Lisa Marie kissing, if that had never happened, Carly-Ann would still be here,' he confesses, and I jump just slightly as I move into the doorway glass shattering against the wall.

" It's because of you? My daughter is dead because of you?" I stammer out, my anger making my voice shake. " How could you, you were her best friend. She must have told you what she wanted, that she wanted you to be her," I trail off unable to finish my sentence. I turn around running as fast as my tired legs will go, Michael's voice shouting my name echoing behind me. I burst through the kitchen doors, stumbling blindly trying to keep my footing. I race past most of Michael's family, not stopping when they call out to me. My breathes tearing out of me as I run, Michael still screaming behind me, begging me to stop.

" Dani! Dani! Please just stop," his voice pleads but I keep running, unable to stop myself. I make it to one of Carly-Ann's favorite spots on the whole property, a hill top that she and I had, had a picnic one day. I fall to my knee's the sobs tearing out of me.

" Why, why God? What did I do? What did I do that was so wrong, that you could hate me so much, that you would take my child away from me?" I scream, falling forward clutching my sides, trying to hold myself together.

" Dani," Michael says, his hands brushing my skin lightly.

" Don't touch me. Don't touch me. You did this, you hurt my little girl, this is all your fault. Was it not enough Michael?" I scream, blindly finding my way to my feet, whirling on him.

" Dani, was what not enough?" he asks, his eyes pleading with me, shining with a deep ocean of hurt.

" Was it not enough, for her to love you so much? Was it not enough that she wanted you to be her father? Was it not enough that you made me fall in love with you?" I scream, stopping myself suddenly, my body convulsing from the force of my tears.

" DanI, I didn't know. She never told me, I'm sorry. Its been killing me for the last week, I would never hurt her," he says, tears sliding down his cheeks. I knew that in my heart, somewhere, deep underneath the immense well of pain.

" I just don't get it, I don't understand. What did I do Michael? What did I ever do to deserve this? Why my little girl?" I ask, finally collapsing to the ground sobbing. He attempts to console me, but I jerk away from his hands.

" Dani, please, I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry. If I could go back and change any of this you have to know that I would," he says, his hands reaching for me.

" But you cant can you? You cant go back and change any of it! At the end of the day my little girl is still dead!" I scream, holding my head in my hands rocking back and forth from the pain.

" Michael, let us take her," a soft voice murmurs, and new hands help me to my feet. I look up seeing Janet and Katherine, sympathetic looks on their faces as they help me towards the house.

I lay on the bed, my back turned to the door, Katherine sitting on the side of the bed, running her hands over my hair.

" Sweet child, I know your hurting. I could not imagine what it would be like to lose one of my children," Katherine's soft voice caresses me, soothing me. " But you have to know, my Michael loved that little girl. He never meant her any sort of harm."

" I know Katherine, I know that in here," I say, fisting my hand over my heart. " but the pain, the pain is just so much. I'm drowning in it. She was my life, everything I did, or didn't do was for her. She was my everything, my light. My world. I don't know what to do, it just hurts too much.'

" Child, dear sweet child," she says, lifting my face to hers, looking at me with deep and wise eyes. " You have so much life left to live, and it would be a shame to waste it drowning in your sorrows. Your daughter would want you to live your life remembering that you loved her, and that she was happy. You made her life a wonderful one, one that was filled with love and laughter. You are an amazing mother. Rest now child, and when you wake, you just have to take it one day at a time." I close my eyes, crying myself to sleep, Katherine's presence never wavering.

" Mama," Carly-Ann calls to me her sandy blonde hair blowing in a soft breeze. I look around confused, this is somewhere I have never been before yet the familiarity of it has my heart thrumming rapidly in my chest. Mermaid Lagoon. I run over land, not even feeling the ground beneath my feet.

" Baby, oh my baby," I cry, holding her close to me, the familiar scent of strawberry shampoo on her hair.

" Mama, you need to be happy. I'm okay. You don't have to cry so much. And you don't have to be mad at Michael Mama, it isn't his fault," she says, her soft voice flowing over me. I close my eyes tightly as I press my face into her hair.

" I know. I just, I cant not be sad Carly-Ann. You're my baby, and you aren't here anymore," I say, trembling slightly as she pulls away, looking at me with eyes shimmering with a knowledge that runs as deep and vast as the oceans of the world.

" I know Mama, but its going to be okay. I've seen things Mama, things that happened, things that are happening, things that will happen. All I ever wanted Mama, was for you to be happy, to not be so lonely. And I know that you wont be lonely, that you will be happy one day, but you have to be open to it Mama, you have to be open to the love he wants to give you," she says, and I stare at her in disbelief. Her appearance is just as I remember her. My baby-faced five year old. Yet she speaks like a woman, a wise woman. " You were right Mama, about Neverland, now I wont ever have to grow up, and whenever you want to see me, or need to see me, you know exactly where to find me." She hugs me tightly, her mouth close to my ear. " Second star to the right, straight on til' morning, in a mermaid lagoon under a magical moon, that's where you'll always find me Mama, I promise." I close my eyes tightly, then as soon as sleep came to me I wake up, dry eyed. I sit up slowly, thinking about the dream. My heart aches as reality sets in that it was just a dream. I slide from my bed, pulling a sweater tightly around myself as I begin to walk the halls. Letting my feet carry me where ever it is that I need to be at this very moment.

I stand outside of Michael's bedroom door, staring dumbly at the door, as if I have completely forgotten how to lift my hand and knock. I shake my head quickly, knocking lightly, the door opening slowly, noiselessly. I don't call out, I know it would be useless. Michael isn't in here, I cant feel his energy. I walk into his room, a small light glowing from his fireplace, and I walk numbly to the window, staring out of the window, looking over all of Neverland. Minutes pass by, one melting into another, and another. I listen to the nothingness, the stillness. I turn, looking at Michael's bed, emotional exhaustion setting in as I climb onto it, curling myself around one of his pillow. I bury my face in the material, breathing in the scent of him that lingers behind. Fresh tears coming to my eyes as I realize that though I'm hurting, Michael feels the pain I feel almost as deeply as I do. I never meant to say the things that I said to him, I was just looking for somebody to blame. And in the midst of my breakdown I confessed my love to him. I scream into his pillow. That should be the last thing on my mind, right? Carly-Ann's voice from my dream floats through my head. 'You have to be open to it Mama, you have to be open to the love he wants to give you.'

Was she trying to tell me something? I cry harder, wishing that I knew, wishing that I had the answers. I sit up, clutching the pillow to my chest bracing my back to the head board, staring at the wall. I hear soft footsteps coming down the hall, and I know I should get up, but my body wont move. The door closes with a soft click and I shut my eyes quickly when the light comes on, blinding me.

" Dani?" Michaels questioning voice rings in my ears. " You can open your eyes now, the lights off." I open my eyes slowly at the feel of him sitting across from me on the bed.

" I don't know why I came in here," I say, my voice cracking as I speak. " I had the weirdest dream, a-about Carly-Ann. We were in Neverland, you know, the Neverland in the books. The way she talked to me, it was like talking to a grown woman trapped in a child's body. She told me she was okay, and that everything was going to be okay. That she didn't want me to be sad or lonely, that she didn't want me to cry anymore. That she knew I would be happy one day," I say, lifting my teary eyes to his. His chocolate colored eyes flicker in the fire light. " She told me not to blame you. I never meant to blame you Michael. I know how much you love her. I know that, its just, the pain is so overwhelming, and I was searching for anything or anyone to blame this whole thing on. I will totally understand if I ruined our friendship, if you want me to leave, but I just, I need a friend Michael, I cant do this alone," I sob out. Without a word, or callous remark Michael takes wraps me in his arms, holding me close to him.

" Dani, I could never, I would never send you away. I cant say that I understand fully what your going through, but I feel the pain too. I love that little girl, I looked at her like she was my own. I understand the need to put the blame somewhere. When something so tragic happens so unexpectedly we have to protect ourselves and each other. We have to band together with the people we love the most to heal, to move on, to grieve. I'm not going anywhere Dani, I will always be here, always," he says, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead while I silently weep against his chest. I lay down curling my body up tightly, my head pillowed in his lap.

" It gets the worst at night," I confess, my eyes sliding shut as he rakes his long fingers through my hair. " Sometimes I swear I can feel her small body curled up next to mine, or I find myself getting up to check in on her, only to remember that she isn't here anymore. Will it ever get better Michael? Will the pain ever go away?"

" I don't know baby, I don't know, what I do know is that I will be here, every step of the way, you can count on that," he murmurs, and I smile lightly as I drift into the first dreamless sleep I've had since I lost my little girl.