Author Notes: A couple of the scenes below are explicit; however, I've edited them down to comply with the rules here. *g* They're not hugely different to the original scenes though, I don't think.

Footfalls in the memory: Part II

Three Months Later

Harry opened the door and stared. Draco Malfoy was standing on the doorstep. "What on earth are you doing here?" he demanded. It had been over two months since anybody had come to bother him. His birthday had passed and nobody had even bothered to say anything. A sudden thought occurred to him. "Don't tell me that we're friends?" Given what had happened, he would believe anything.

Draco laughed. "Of course not, Potter. But we do work together at times."

"Uh huh," Harry said, leaning up against his doorframe, keeping the door open only just enough to stand in the opening. "What are you doing here?"

Draco hesitated. "Are you going to invite me inside?"

"No," Harry said flatly. He thought that Draco was being a bit presumptuous especially since he had just said that they weren't friends.

Draco lifted an eyebrow. "A bit rude, aren't you, Potter?"

Harry narrowed his eyes. "Why are you here?"

"Are you getting your memory back?" Draco asked abruptly.

Harry snorted. "You came all the way out here after all this time to ask me that?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Answer the question," Draco said tightly.

Harry stared. There was a curious note of what seemed like worry in the other man's voice. "Not that it's any of your business, but no. I would have told Hermione."

To his surprise, Draco slumped against his doorframe. "Fuck," he muttered. "I didn't think so, but I thought I'd give it a try. Thanks anyway, Potter." Harry watched with widened eyes, as Draco turned to go.

"Wait," Harry said impulsively and reached out to grab Draco's arm. He almost immediately regretted his hasty action and dropped his hand. "Why'd you want to know?"

Draco stared at him. "Severus's sick. He's losing his short-term memory," he finally said. "I was hoping that if you had regained your memories, then you might remember what the original potion was that caused all of this."

-***-

"You are an imbecile," Snape snapped as Draco walked into the room with Harry behind him. "I told you not to get him."

To Harry's surprise, Draco just rolled his eyes and walked over to place a gentle hand on Snape's shoulder. "Severus has been losing his memories," he said quietly.

Snape sneered. "That might be, but we don't need his help!"

"We do," Draco said curtly, "if this has anything to do with the memory loss that affected both of you, then he might be able to help."

Snape narrowed his eyes. "Potter was the one who did not keep adequate notes regarding the potion," he said acidly. "Accident or sabotage, if we had comprehensive notes then I would have been able to recreate the potion." His fingers clenched until his knuckles were white. "And I would be able to remember what I had this morning for breakfast."

Harry stared. "How'd you know it was that potion?" he protested. "I've been fine."

"Oh?" Draco said, raising an eyebrow. "Then why is it that Hermione says that you keep on saying that you've forgotten appointments."

"What?" Harry said, frowning. "I haven't spoken to Hermione in months! She came over when I first moved into the cottage, but I haven't seen her since." It was part of the reason why he found the cottage so relaxing. He was away from everything that reminded him of his former life, away from everything that reminded him of the memory loss.

"Oh stop lying, Potter," Draco said, sounding exasperated. "I know you spoke to her last week. She's been worried about you, you know. You keep on saying that you'll call her back but then you never do. You've become a complete hermit!"

"You're the one who's lying," Harry said angrily. He spun around and walked towards the door. "I'm completely fine!" Neither Snape nor Draco did anything to stop him as he stormed out of the front door of Malfoy Manor. Once outside, Harry slumped against the stone walls and blinked at the bright sunshine. It was preposterous that he could have been losing his memory, wasn't it?

Of course it was, Harry reassured himself, but the niggling thought still remained. After all, he had spent most of the last three months alone, catching up on what had happened over the past ten years. What he had learned astounded him. How on earth could anybody have believed that he would live with and marry the person who killed Dumbledore? Surely Snape had him under a spell or something. Harry was repulsed by the very thought that he had sex with the man who had murdered Dumbledore in cold blood.

All the reading meant that Harry had very little time to see his friends. He'd spent most of the three months indoors either reading old editions of the Prophet or Muggle newspapers. He had been slightly annoyed but mostly relieved when Hermione had stopped calling and sending owls.

But now, according to Draco, she had never stopped trying to contact him.

Harry pursed his lips. It was really very simple. He would talk to Hermione and she would straighten out the entire mess. Draco was lying; he had to be. Surely, Snape's short term memory loss had nothing to do with their long-term memory loss.

-***-

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed as she pulled open the door to her apartment. "It's so wonderful to see you." She enveloped him in a quick hug and he could smell her sweet floral perfume. "Why didn't you call or owl to say that you were coming?"

"It's just a quick visit," Harry said, forcing a smile. "Long time no see, eh?" he added casually.

She laughed as she pulled him into her apartment. "Sit down. I'll go get us a drink. I keep on trying to get you out to London to catch up. Ron even owled me last week asking when you were going to be down. He wants to see you." Her expression stiffened for a second before relaxing again.

"Oh," Harry said. "Er. So when was the last time that we talked?"

Hermione rolled her eyes as she walked over to the kitchen and pulled open the fridge. Bending over, she grabbed a couple of soft drinks and walked back over to where Harry was perched gingerly on the edge of one of the couches. "Your memory's terrible nowadays. You keep on forgetting to call me back, even when you promise that you will."

"When did we last talk?" Harry pressed.

She stared at him, one eyebrow slightly raised. "Earlier this week. Monday, I think. Or it might have been Tuesday."

Harry was beginning to get a sinking feeling at the pit of his stomach. It couldn't be, it really couldn't. He remembered very clearly that the last time he had spoken to her was over two months ago.

"Harry, are you okay?" Hermione asked, with a frown.

"Yeah," Harry said after a pause. "I'm fine." He stood up. "I have to go though. Sorry." He really needed to get back to Malfoy Manor to talk to Snape and Draco. Against all odds, it seemed like they were right. He was losing his short term memory, just like Snape.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Hermione asked again. "You look like you've just seen a ghost or something."

Harry laughed slightly. "I wouldn't mind seeing Nearly-Headless Nick again."

Hermione leaned over and punched him on the arm. "You know what I mean," she scolded. "Promise me you'll keep in contact this time."

"I'll try," Harry said, biting his lip. He knew he really couldn't promise more than that. From the look on Hermione's face, she expected him to say something more. "I'll see you again soon, I promise. We'll have dinner. Perhaps at Lovegood Emporium again?"

Hermione brightened slightly. "They do wonderful dinners. And Luna mentioned that she'd love to see you again."

-***-

Draco opened the door and smirked. "I see that you're back, Potter. I take it that you paid Hermione a visit."

Harry's eyes narrowed. He had no idea that he was so transparent. How on earth did Draco know that he paid Hermione a visit.

"Relax, Potter," Draco said, a small smile crossing his face. Harry was surprised that it didn't seem malicious. "Why else would you be back? You were rather adamant in your denials regarding the short-term memory loss."

Harry considered the point. It made sense. "Can I come in?" he asked reluctantly. He felt rather awkward standing in the doorway of the imposing Gregorian manor.

After a pause, Draco held the door open for him. "Wipe your feet before you come in. I wouldn't want you tracking dirt again onto my Persian rugs."

"Again?" Harry repeated. He gave his feet a quick scrape on the doormat. As far as he knew, he hadn't tracked dirt on Draco's precious Persian carpets earlier that day.

To his surprise, an almost wistful smile crossed Draco's face. "You and Severus came here one night after horse riding through the countryside. You both had muddy boots. Severus was considerate enough to spell most of the mud off his boots and wipe the rest off, but you just walked right in."

Harry raised an eyebrow. It was beginning to sound more and more like Draco wasn't quite telling the truth when he said that he and Harry weren't friends. At the very least, Snape and Draco seemed close and Draco seemed to have tolerated Harry. "Well my shoes are clean this time," he said finally.

"Good," Draco said and began to walk off. "Close the door behind you and follow me."

For the second time that day, Harry found himself walking along the twisting winding corridors of Malfoy Manor. There were pictures of Malfoy ancestors hanging on the walls, all with their customary smirks. Harry stuck his tongue out at a picture of Lucius Malfoy, who looked surprised and gave him a small wave. "Do I come here often?" Harry asked.

"Why do you ask?" Draco answered.

"Just wondering," Harry said non-committal. He couldn't help but think that the picture of Lucius seemed overly friendly, especially since his past relations with the man.

They entered the small laboratory where Snape looked up from the cauldron he was hunched over. "You again," he said and turned back to his work.

"Yes, me," Harry said with irritation.

Snape sneered. "So I presume you've established that you're also suffering from memory loss."

Harry didn't even bother to answer that. As Draco had said, it was probably really obvious why he was back. "We can fix this, right?" he asked. "I don't like missing my appointments." Harry wondered how many appointments he had managed to miss over the past few months.

Snape looked up from the cauldron. His eyes were dark, almost black and his hair hung lank around his face from the cauldron fumes. Harry wondered why on earth he would have gotten married to this man. Even if he were gay, Harry could think of hundreds of better looking blokes. "I told you he was going to be of no help," Snape said, looking at Draco.

"What?" Harry snapped. He felt like the other two men were having some sort of secret conversation that he wasn't privy to.

Snape turned to him. "If we don't find a way to reverse this latest development, the loss of a couple of appointments are the least of our worries," he said, spitting out each syllable as if it was poison. "We will slowly lose all our memories. Every iota that makes you Harry Potter and me Severus Snape. It'll be gone."

Harry gulped. That sounded serious. Very serious. "Have you told Hermione? The Ministry? St Mungo's?" He rattled off a couple more wizarding institutions he knew of.

"No, of course not," Snape said acidly, "we preferred to work on this ourselves until I became a gibbering vegetable."

"What Severus means to say is," Draco interrupted, "is that he has been to St Mungo's and they have no idea what is happening. Since you're here, you should come in tomorrow morning for tests along with Severus. St Mungo's has both of your records."

Harry spluttered. "So why didn't somebody tell me something?"

"Maybe they did," Draco suggested quietly. "Your medical records are sealed, of course, so the Ministry wouldn't have access, but isn't it possible that staff from St Mungo's might have called you about it and asked you to come in for tests?"

A shiver slid down Harry's spine. It was a creepy feeling that he could have been told certain information but forgotten about it. "You'd think that they would have better ways of informing somebody who might be suffering from short term memory loss," he grumbled.

To Harry's surprise, a ghost of a smile crossed Snape' s face. "We were only positive about the memory loss a few days back," he said.

"So," Harry said gesturing towards the cauldron that Snape was standing over. "What are you trying to do?'

"Re-creating the original potion," Draco said hastily before Snape could reply nastily. "The staff at St Mungo's think that they might be able to forge an antidote from a fresh batch of the original potion."

"Oh," Harry said. He supposed that made sense. "Is there anything I can do?" he ventured. He didn't think there was, but he supposed that he should ask.

To his surprise, Draco came over and handed him a couple of notebooks covered in scribbles. "We were able to find these notes. It seems to be your handwriting, but we're having trouble deciphering it."

Harry peered down at the illegible writing. He suspected that he was going to have a hard time reading it as well. It seemed as though his writing had gotten worse in ten years, not better. "I'll try," he said.

"You'd better do better than that," Snape called out from across the room, his voice acerbic. "And soon, otherwise, in a few weeks to a few months, you won't have the faculties to read it."

Harry opened his mouth to reply but decided to close it again without saying anything. Snape really hadn't gotten any better at his encouraging statements since Hogwarts. In fact, Harry suspected that he had gotten worse. With a sigh, he bent over his notebooks and squinted at the handwriting.

-***-

A long thin finger ran down his back and Harry shivered. The touch seemed to go straight to his groin, making him harder than ever. "Like that?" a voice murmured into his ear. Harry nodded and moaned as the hand inched downwards and began to unzip his pants. Harry half-turned around and reached up to kiss the figure whose face was still obscured by shadow.

The person then knelt down in front of him. He looked down and could only see long silky dark hair. The person's mouth enveloped his cock and Harry gasped, his fingers digging into the person's shoulders. The person looked up at him and chuckled, the dark eyes glittering with amusement and it was with horror that Harry realised he recognised who it was...

Harry gasped and opened his eyes. His heart was pounding and when he reached up to feel his shirt, it was soaked in sweat. With embarrassment, he extracted his other hand from his boxer shorts, where his cock was still mostly hard. He had obviously been stroking himself in his sleep and there was an uncomfortably wet patch in the front of his boxers.

And Snape was the cause.

Harry felt nauseated at the thought. It wasn't enough that apparently he'd had a relationship with Snape for the past ten years, but now he had to dream about the man as well? And did Snape have to be so ... damn hot in the dream? Harry was horrified to find himself hardening again at the memory of the dream.

It had felt so real in a way that his wet dreams before this hadn't. Harry frowned. He seemed to remember Hermione lecturing Ron one morning about wet dreams and how they generally only lasted during a guy's adolescence. It was strange for him to be having one now.

With a sigh, Harry sat up. He had to change his boxers.

-***-

"I think I've copied out most of this," Harry said, walking over to Snape. He held the notebooks out to Snape, but the other man never looked away from his cauldron. "I'll just leave them here, shall I?" When Snape didn't reply, Harry walked away back to his table. Draco had allowed them to work in his private laboratory which was surprisingly well-equipped. Harry suspected that Snape wouldn't have worked in any other sort of laboratory. Draco was away most of the time, so Harry found himself left alone with Snape.

With a sigh, Harry flipped the next notebook open. He had only just put quill to parchment again when Snape made a disbelieving sound. "You're trying to tell me that this was all you were capable of deciphering?"

"Hey!" Harry protested as he pushed back his chair and walked back across the room again to stand next to Snape. "Some of it seems to be in some sort of code." He pointed to a couple of symbols on his copied out page.

Snape snorted and gestured to the chair next to him. "Sit down, Potter. Stop hovering."

Awkwardly, Harry sat down. "See," he pointed out. "I seem to have used some sort of acronym or abbreviation there. And some sort of symbol there. I guess I understood what these meant before I lost my memory but I haven't a clue now." A sudden thought occurred to him. "Are they some sort of potions shorthand?"

"Unfortunately no," Snape said, sounding distant as he looked over both copies of the notes. "They look similar in places, but it doesn't match any code I know of."

"I guess we came up with our own code, eh?"

"I suppose," Snape said.

It was just then that Harry realised that Snape hadn't made a snide comment in the last few minutes. It actually felt rather companionable sitting here side by side. Suddenly, Harry thought of his dream and blushed. He looked down at Snape's fingers and realised how remarkably detailed his dream was. The same stains that were currently on Snape's fingers appeared in the dream.

"Why are you staring at my fingers, Potter?"

Harry was jerked out of his thoughts by Snape's acerbic tone. "I'm not," he lied. "I'm just looking at the table. I'd better go back over and translate the other notebook." Without another look at Snape, he pushed his chair back and walked away.

-***-

Harry felt as though ghostly footsteps were walking over his spine. He had a tingling feeling that went all the way down his vertebrae. As he watched Snape leaning over his cauldron trying to re-create the potion, an image kept on flashing into his mind. He kept on feeling like he could see another image of Snape superimposed over the man currently standing in front of him. The superimposed image had shorter, less-greasy hair and was smiling. He seemed to be trying to tell Harry something.

Harry took a step closer and tried to concentrate on the lips. What was the ghostly Snape trying to tell him?

"What are you doing?"Snape asked irritably as Harry bumped into the workbench.

"Sorry," Harry muttered, flushing. He wondered if he should tell Snape about the images he had been seeing, but he suspected the other man would just sneer at him and call him crazy. "How's the potion going?"

"It's not," Snape snapped. "Your notes are pathetic. Now that I can read them, I realise that you barely managed to document any of the mistakes you made during the creation of the original potion!"

"So, not well, I take it," Harry said.

Snape pointed one long finger towards a stool in the corner. "Sit," he ordered. "It would be faster if you didn't bother me."

-***-

Snape's eyes gleamed. He held up a vial of the potion in his gloved hands. Harry couldn't tell his expression from behind the mask he wore, but he suspected that it would be less dour than his expression for the past few days. "Got it!" he announced.

Harry could feel a surge of hope. Over the past few days, he had felt his short-term memory slipping away. He would walk out of the room to make a cup of tea and when he came back, he would realise that the cup of tea already sat on his desk. A few times, he would sit up bolt upright in bed in the middle of the night and not realise where he was. He had taken to carrying around a notebook in which to write down everything, otherwise, he knew he would forget it. But if Snape had re-created the potion, they could take it to St Mungo's. He had spoken to the staff there who had promised that they would be able to synthesise an antidote for their current memory loss and perhaps even the original memory loss. He beamed up at Snape.

To his surprise, the corners of Snape's eyes crinkled slightly as if he was smiling and there was a look in them that made Harry shiver. Snape took a small step forward and Harry gulped. If this wasn't Snape and if it was a different circumstance, then the look would have been rather familiar.

Abruptly, Snape turned away. "We'll take this into St Mungo's in the morning," he said. "I'll inform Draco. He'll be pleased to hear of the news."

As Snape walked away, Harry stared after him. He couldn't help but feel like he had just missed out on something important.

-***-

"I'm sorry," the doctor said softly. "With a copy of the original potion, we've managed to come up with an antidote to stabilise the memory loss for now, but it seems as though the memories are lost for good. We can't retrieve the short term memories that you lost or the ten years of memories."

Harry could feel his stomach churning with the news. He looked over at Snape whose face was impassive.

"The good news is that none of your synapses have been damaged so you should be able to form new memories normally," the doctor continued. He paused a second. "I'm going to give both of you some time alone to process this information. If you need me, just call."

Harry could see Snape's mouth open, but the doctor left the room before he could say anything. "So," Harry said quietly.

"This processing time is unnecessary," Snape said sharply.

Harry nodded. "I didn't want the memories back anyway," he said and frowned. He could still remember some of the visions of Snape that he had gotten in the past few days. When he mentioned them to the doctor, Snape hadn't said anything, but there had been a flicker in his eyes. The visions had seemed so real. It had felt like Snape was actually kissing him, a toe-curling kiss that made Harry moan with desire. It had felt like Snape's fingers were really entwined in his own as they watched a Muggle horror movie. It had felt like they were actually working together on potions.

"For once, I am in complete agreement with you, Potter," Snape said.

Harry bit his lip. "Did you get any visions?" he asked.

"Visions?" Snape repeated, his face impassive.

"What I was telling the doctor about earlier," Harry elaborated. "I had visions of what seemed like us."

"I assure you, Potter," Snape retorted, "that nothing of the sort happened to me."

"Oh," Harry answered. He wondered if that meant that he was going crazy. The visions had seemed so real and they had started about the time he had started realising the memory loss. It wasn't as though he wanted them to be true.

-***-

Harry would have never believed it, but he was beginning to find it awkward to be around Ron. It wasn't as though they had a fight or anything. Harry would have preferred that, because from what he remembered of Ron, they had fights all the time. But it had been ten years and Harry was beginning to realise that the Ron he remembered and the Ron that sat across the table from him right now were two completely different people.

It wasn't just that Ron was currently dating Pansy Parkinson. Harry could accept that. Ron had introduced them last time they had gone out and Harry was surprised to find that Pansy was a nice person, if a bit loud and boisterous at times. Harry found that he could talk to her easily. However, Harry was surprised to find that he had very little to say to Ron once they got past the small talk. As soon as Ron had explained what had happened in his life in the past ten years, the table had fallen silent. Harry had chalked it up to a bad night, but now, it was happening again.

"So," Harry said, feeling awkward. Ron was supposed to be his best friend. They were supposed to be able to carry on an effortless conversation. "Do you still support the Chudley Cannons?"

Ron shrugged. "I haven't had much time for Quidditch lately. Pansy loves it though."

Harry wracked his mind for something else to say. According to Ron, they were still good friends in the present so he must have had something to talk to Ron about, but whenever Ron went on about the latest crime figures, Harry felt his mind go to sleep. For all that he despised Snape, at least when Snape went on about potions, it was interesting. It was possibly because Harry was still on edge, waiting for a "Ten points from Gryffindor!" but at least he wasn't yawning.

"Are you and Severus any closer to recreating the potion?" Ron asked, sounding equally awkward to Harry's ears.

Harry shook his head. "Why does everybody call him Severus?" he complained.

Ron stared at him. When Ron replied, Harry thought his voice sounded oddly condescending. "Because we're all adults and we're capable of having civil conversations together using our given names? You have been together with him for almost a decade. I have to admit that while I didn't like it much at first, we all get along fine now."

"I guess," Harry muttered. Everything just seemed so different now.

"Cheer up," Ron said, patting him on the shoulder. Harry was oddly reminded of Molly Weasley when he did that.

Harry took another swig of his beer and forced a smile.

-***-

The door opened slowly and Snape looked out. Harry couldn't help noticing that in the dim lighting, Snape's nose looked even more hooked than usual and he looked remarkably bat-like. It made the visions he had been experiencing even more realistic. Harry was beginning to suspect that they were flashbacks of the life he'd once had with Snape. They were memories, latent memories in his mind.

"Potter," Snape said acerbically, "what are you doing here? I believe we had an agreement."

Harry remembered that agreement. He had agreed never to see Snape again after the appointment at St Mungo's. And he had managed to keep that agreement for a few days. He would have kept it longer except he was beginning to get the flashback visions with more frequency now. They didn't even seem to be triggered by anything. They just appeared haphazardly in his mind. "When did I get my Potions Mastery?" he demanded.

Snape sneered at him. "You never got that," he said.

"Ah!" Harry said, pointing a finger at Snape. "How would you know that if you weren't getting the same visions as me?"

Snape lifted an eyebrow and just stared at him. "When have I ever shown any faith in your ability as a potions student? It is relieving that nobody had given you Potions Mastery. I would be astounded that any person could be that imbecilic."

Harry couldn't help but realise that what Snape said made sense, unfortunately. "I think the visions are memories," he said bluntly. "I'm remembering us. Our life together."

Snape just stared at him.

"Fine," Harry said curtly. "If you don't believe me. You have a mole..." he hesitated slightly before continuing, "right next to your penis. On the right. It's hidden by the hair, but it's there."

Snape's mouth dropped open.

"Your penis..." Harry would have continued if Snape hadn't held up his hand.

"I believe you, Potter," Snape said quietly.

Harry narrowed his eyes. That seemed remarkably fast. In fact, it was definitely remarkably fast. He had an entire list of Snape's physical traits in his mind from the visions that he had been prepared to go through, but Snape apparently didn't need to hear them. "You are getting the visions," he said abruptly. "You lied!"

From the expression on Snape's face, Harry knew he was correct. "If you can call them visions," Snape muttered. He held the door open. "I suggest we have the rest of the conversation inside my apartment."

As Harry stepped inside the apartment, he realised that Snape had most likely done most of the decorating of their apartment. In fact, as he looked around, he thought he could recognise some of the paintings and sculptures. "Nice place," he said neutrally. "Why did you lie about the visions?"

Snape pursed his lips. "I had hoped they would go away," he said stiffly. "They were... uncomfortable."

Harry suddenly had a remarkably vivid memory of his last vision. He could almost see Snape squirming on the couch as he licked the length of Snape's cock. His mouth suddenly went dry and Harry licked his lips. He was almost surprised when they didn't taste salty. "This could be another side-effect of the memory potion," he said.

"I'm almost positive that it is."

Harry glared at him. "Then why didn't you say anything?"

"If I'm correct, which I know I am, then the memories are from our sub-conscious. Our memories of the past ten years are most likely still intact in there, preserved. These memories are leaking through into our conscious mind through triggers. Given time, the memory leakage will subside," Snape said matter-of-factly. "It's likely to restore part of our memories, but not the entirety."

"Don't you want your memories back?" Harry said abruptly.

Snape raised an eyebrow. "You would want to be married to me?"

"No!" Harry said, ignoring the mental picture in his mind that popped up of Snape fucking him into their bed. From the mistletoe tied above their bedroom door, Harry surmised that it was some memory of a past Christmas together. "But," he said quietly. "I've been thinking and I want my memories back."

Snape sighed, sounding tired all of a sudden. "Even if that were possible, Potter. What makes you think that I would acquiesce to that request?"

Harry shrugged. He had been giving this a lot of thought over the past few days. "We created a lot of potions over the past ten years together. We still have patents on most of them. I know you created meticulous records, but I think we both know that my records were less than adequate. You could spend the next ten years deciphering my notes, or we can work on getting our memories back and then you could continue creating the potions and earning money." A sudden inspiration hit him. "For the Potions company you always wanted to start up."

Snape stared at him, his face blank.

"Don't you want to know what you've been doing for the past ten years?" Harry asked. "I know I do. It... it feels like I know nothing about this wizarding world. All my friends have moved on with their lives. Did you know Ron and Hermione divorced? Ron's dating Pansy Parkinson of all people. Everybody's grown up and they're all different."

Snape folded his lips tightly but didn't say anything.

"You can't be happy not knowing," Harry said, mentally crossing his fingers that he was right.

"A month," Snape said abruptly. "I'm not spending the rest of my life on this foolish endeavour."

Harry could feel a surge of hope. He knew they could solve it together. Impulsively, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Snape, who stiffened. Immediately, Harry stepped backwards. He could feel his entire face flushing. "I'm sorry," he said awkwardly. "I'm going to leave now."

Snape said nothing as Harry walked away.

-***-

The visions were coming more frequently now and most of them made Harry blush. As his mind settled back onto the present, Harry realised that he was incredibly horny. He reached down to wrap his fingers around his cock. The idea that he was getting off on the memories of fucking Snape was so wrong, but there was something so right about the way Snape kissed him long and hard afterwards, his mouth tasting of Harry and the way Snape's fingers always seemed to find the right spots inside him and the way Snape's made him scream...

Harry gasped and bucked his hips as he shuddered and came onto the sheets. As soon as his head cleared, Harry sat up and stared at the mess he had made. He suspected that Draco wasn't going to be particularly happy if Harry left the sheets like that. A memory suddenly flashed into his mind of himself laughingly pointing at another set of similarly soiled sheets.

"Scourgify," Harry said tentatively and was relieved to see the stain vanish. Standing up, Harry dressed without looking into the mirror. He didn't want to get yet another vision of Snape fucking him, or sucking him off. He felt embarrassed enough about the matter already.

-***-

"How would you propose that we begin, Potter?" Snape said smoothly, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back in his chair. "Potter?"

Harry jumped slightly.

"This was your idea, Potter," Snape snapped. "The least you could do is pay attention."

Harry felt his face flushing. He seemed to be getting more and more distracted around Snape nowadays. The visions seemed to be superimposing themselves on reality. They still had no context, but Harry was beginning to feel some of the accompanying emotions. Or least that was what he told himself as he wanked off to the idea of Snape sucking him off. "Sorry," he muttered.

Snape stared expectantly at him. "How do you plan on getting these memories back?"

Harry had to admit that he had absolutely no idea. He had honestly been hoping that Snape would think of something.

His face must have said as much because Snape threw his hands up. "You don't have any idea, do you, Potter?" He sneered.

"The potion must have gone wrong somehow," Harry said slowly.

"Brilliant deduction," Snape said sarcastically.

"But it didn't cause memory loss again when we made it again."

"Very astute observation," Snape muttered.

Harry was beginning to get rather fed up of Snape's comments. He walked over to where the other man was sitting. "Stop making those snide comments," he said. "They're not helping."

Snape stared at him, his eyes dark and Harry shivered. "This entire endeavour is an exercise in futility," Snape told him coldly. "Those visions are triggered by familiar events. If we stay away from each other, they will subside."

Harry surprised himself by slamming his fist onto the table. He bit the side of his cheek to stop himself from wincing. The motion hurt more than he wanted to admit. "I want my memories back," he said firmly. "You agreed to help me. So help." He leaned and narrowed his eyes.

To Harry's surprise, Snape seemed to shudder slightly and a strange look passed through his eyes.

"You're feeling it as well, aren't you?" Harry said. He couldn't believe that he didn't realise it before. The emotions he had been feeling recently towards Snape were linked to the visions and since Snape had been having the visions as well, it made sense that Snape would be feeling something similar.

Snape's eyes took on a shuttered expression. "Feeling what?" he said, guardedly.

Harry gestured around. "This... thing between us."

Snape sneered. "How many times do I need to tell you, Potter? There is nothing between us."

Harry could feel something snap within him. He could see Snape half-stand and in one quick motion, he kicked away Snape's chair. "Don't say you don't feel it," Harry accused as he took another step forward. He could see Snape shudder slightly and take a step backwards, right into the wall. "This isn't one-sided. You know it isn't."

"You're treading on dangerous ground here, Potter," Snape said softly. "I don't care what mistakes we've made in the past. I will not be making them again. We're not married, Potter. I'm not the man in your visions."

"But you were," Harry insisted. "That's the point. You're getting the visions too, damn it. You admitted it. You know how we were together."

Snape leaned forward, his eyes narrowed. "This is precisely why I did not wish to begin this entire experiment in getting our memories back," he snapped. "It was an error of judgement on my behalf the first time and I'm glad I'm getting an opportunity to rectify it." His lip curled. "Regardless of how good the sex was, Potter, we were never meant to be together."

"Ah!" Harry pounced on the last sentence. "You admit that the sex was good."

Snape narrowed his eyes. Almost faster than Harry could see, Snape had grabbed his arm and pulled him in. Snape then took a step sideways so that now Harry was up against the wall and Snape was hovering over him. In less than a second, their positions were swapped. Harry gulped. "Would you like to recreate the memories, Potter," Snape said silkily, his breath hot on Harry's face. "I do like men, after all and you, Potter, aren't so unattractive.

Harry could feel his heart pounding in his chest. "I want my memories back," he said evenly. He fought to keep his breathing even as Snape leaned over him and stared into his eyes. Then almost immediately, Snape stepped backwards, his own breathing ragged.

"I keep my promises," Snape said blandly. "I said I would give you a month. It's been two days. We still have twenty-eight days left." With that, he turned away, leaving Harry feeling confused.

-***-

"I'm not lying," Harry said angrily. "I think the visions are telling me something."

Snape pursed his lips. "Don't be ridiculous, Potter. Your visions are a product of an overly libidinous teenage mind that's stuck in a man's body."

Harry rolled his eyes. "They're not," he insisted. "They're happening for a reason."

"So you are now an expert in Divination?" Snape asked, smirking. "Will you start reading the tea leaves every morning?"

Harry took a deep breath. He had an idea and it made sense. He just wasn't sure how Snape was going to react to the concept.

"Spit it out, Potter," Snape said wearily.

Harry's head snapped up and he stared at Snape. "What do you mean?" he said. It was creepy the way Snape sometimes managed to anticipate what he was about to say before he said it. "I wasn't about to say anything."

Snape just stared silently at him.

"Well," Harry said slowly. "You know how I said a few days ago that these visions were trying to tell us something. You said that the visions came from our subconscious and came out because of a trigger." Snape raised an eyebrow so Harry hurried on. "What if," he said quickly, "we just need a strong trigger for the memories? What if they're in our minds, but behind some sort of barrier?"

To his surprise, Snape actually seemed to be considering the idea. "An intriguing notion," he said slowly. "But deeply flawed," he added.

"Why?" Harry demanded.

"How would you propose that we trigger these memories to emerge?"

Harry gulped. This was the bit that he was apprehensive about. He suspected that Snape was going to really dislike what he was about to say next. "We need to use Legilimency."

Snape stared at him. "I already used Legilimency on Granger," he started to say before he stopped. Harry suspected the idea he had was beginning to dawn on Snape. "No," Snape said tightly. "I will not give you access to my mind."

"You'll have access to my mind as well!" Harry burst out. "If we use Legilimency on each other and attempt to look for the buried memories... that should be enough of a trigger!"

"No," Snape said, with finality. "I would rather never get those ten years of memories back. I will not allow you complete access to my memories."

"But you'll be able to see mine as well!" Harry said again. "It's the only way and you said that if we came up with a solution then you'd try it with me."

Snape's upper lip curled. "This is a hunch, Potter. Not a solution. It has never been tested. You don't know if it'll work."

"That's because this situation hasn't ever happened before!" Harry burst out. "We're the first ones. I know this'll work. I can feel it."

Snape sneered at him. "Perhaps you should go into Divination, Potter. I suspect you would be better at that than Potions. It was because of you that this happened in the first place."

"You don't know that!" Harry said. "In fact, you don't know anything about the potion other than the fact it is supposed to work as a memory enhancer. You don't know why we were making it in the first place or why it affected us when the cauldron exploded. It didn't cause the memory loss again when we re-made it for St Mungo's so obviously the recipe is fine. Maybe you made the mistake!"

"I do not make mistakes," Snape said harshly.

"Oh really," Harry snapped. "How about joining Voldemort?" He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. Snape's eyes glittered as he stepped forward. "I'm sorry," Harry said quickly. "I didn't mean..."

"Oh yes you did," Snape hissed. "That's what you see when you look at me. Severus Snape, former Death Eater. Man who murdered Albus Dumbledore. I can see it in your eyes, Potter. That sanctimonious light in your eyes tells me everything."

Harry swallowed. As much as he hated to admit it, Snape was partially right. Even though Hermione had explained it, a part of him still hated Snape for murdering Dumbledore. He knew that it was necessary and on Dumbledore's orders. It was a very small part of him, but it still existed. Snape had killed the man who had helped take Harry out from under the wing of his aunt and uncle. He had killed his own mentor. Harry wondered how the other man could live with the knowledge, even if he didn't have the memory. For the first time, Harry wondered whether it was a good thing getting Snape's memory back, if it meant that the other man would be faced with a lot of undoubtedly horrible memories.

Snape walked to the door of his apartment. "Get out, Potter," he said, sounding tired. "Just get out."

"What?" Harry burst out. "You said that you'd help."

"That was before I heard your harebrained scheme," Snape said acidly. "There is no way I'm letting you inside my mind to read my mind."

"I thought you said that it wasn't mind-reading," Harry said snidely.

Snape's lips pursed tightly. "Get out," he repeated.

"I let you inside my mind," Harry said. "You saw my memories!"

Snape's face closed off and it was only belatedly that Harry remembered that he had also pushed into Snape's mind. A sudden thought occurred to him. He could feel his wand in his back pocket. He could just pull it out and point it at Snape. If his theory worked, then both he and Snape would end up with their memories back. Snape couldn't be mad at him for that, could he? A little voice in the back of Harry's mind told him that, of course, Snape would be furious but he ignored it.

Slowly, surreptitiously, Harry moved his hand towards his back pocket.

Snape's eyes flashed. "What in Merlin's name do you think you're doing?"

Harry pulled his wand out. "We're going to get our memories back!" he said angrily.

"Don't be foolish, Potter," Snape said in a low voice. "You don't want to do this."

"Yes I do," Harry exclaimed. "How can you live not knowing exactly what you've done for the past ten years? I can't, I won't live like that! I can't talk to any of my friends. I don't even know who I'm close to nowadays. I don't know why we got married. I want to know those things!"

Snape fingered his own wand. "I refuse to let you into my mind," he hissed. In one quick smooth motion, he pulled out his wand.

Almost as if in slow motion, Harry saw Snape draw his wand. He saw Snape's mouth open. Harry quickly lifted his own wand. He had no idea what Snape was about to say but he suspected that it was going to involve his own wand sliding across the room into Snape's fingers. As he saw Snape's mouth begin to form a spell, Harry quickly looked up and met Snape's eyes. He could feel Snape's mind battling against his own, Snape's eyes boring into his and Harry fought back with all of his might.

It was like a tug-of-war and Harry was astonished to find that he seemed to be winning. It was almost as though Snape wasn't trying as hard as he should have tried or that Harry's own powers had grown exponentially beyond what they had been previously. He seemed to be breaking into the barriers of Snape's mind like water flowing over rocks. Memories streamed past him and he felt himself drawn deep into Snape's mind.

At the same time, Harry gasped as he felt Snape moving inside his own mind. Get out! Snape spat at him mentally.

No, Harry replied firmly as he dove deeper into Snape's mind. He didn't know what he was looking for but he knew he would know it if he found it.

-***-

It was like a supernova inside both of their minds. Harry could feel himself reeling backwards against the wall. He slumped against the wall. He could feel his head whirling with thoughts and images of what seemed like a lifetime, even though he knew that it was only of the past ten years. It was all rushing back to him now, the memories spinning through his mind like a whirlwind. Unlike the visions he had been having, these memories had context. They had emotions attached to them and Harry gasped from the veritable storm of emotions that streamed through him.

He could remember graduating from Hogwarts. He could remember dating Ginny for six months and how disastrously that had ended up. She had fallen pregnant and had been furious when Harry refused to marry her.

He could remember the first time he began to see Snape in a different light. It was at a Ministry dinner back when Harry was still an Auror. He had ended up sitting next to Snape during one of the dinners and Harry was surprised when Snape had begun to talk to him. He was even more surprised when he found himself interested in what Snape had to say. They had shaken hands after the dinner and Harry could still remember how the handshake had sent tingles through his body.

Harry could remember their first kiss. He had initiated it. He went to Hogwarts and basically cornered Snape in his office and asked where their friendship stood. When Snape didn't respond, Harry had swallowed his fear and stepped up to wrap his arms around Snape.

They moved in together a week later. Harry remembered the reaction of his friends at first. Ron was horrified and had stormed out of their first dinner together, but now even Ron had grown to like and respect Snape. Everybody had been so happy when they'd gotten married and moved into their apartment.

Harry could feel his face pale. He'd sold their apartment. The apartment they bought together. How could he do that? Harry could feel his stomach twist as he suddenly just remembered how he had just forced his way into Snape's mind using Legilimency. Snape had pushed back, but only after Harry had already penetrated his barriers. With effort, Harry pushed himself off the floor and took a couple of unsteady steps towards where Snape sprawled on the ground, looking shell-shocked. "Severus?" he said softly.

Snape looked up. Harry wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it wasn't that shuttered expression. It was the same expression Snape had looked at him with for the last few months. "Leave," Snape said slowly.

"I'm sorry, Severus," Harry said. He reached out to touch Snape's hand but the other man flinched away from him. "I wanted our memories back. I wanted us to be together again."

Snape snorted. "No, you didn't," he snapped. "You were being selfish. You wanted your memories back and it didn't matter what I wanted. Now, get out, Harry. Get out of my apartment."

Harry stood up slowly. "I'm sorry, Severus," he said again as he walked towards the door. Opening it, Harry looked back towards Snape who was still lying on the floor. As he closed the door behind him, Harry realised that Snape had called him by his given name. It was obvious that Snape's memories were back as well. The thought didn't make him feel any better.

-***-

"Your memories are back?" Hermione exclaimed. "That's fantastic!"

Harry could see that she was bursting to ask him whether he was back together with Snape. Slowly, Harry shook his head. "I don't think Severus wants to see me again," he said quietly. "I used Legilimency to get our memories back."

Hermione frowned. "I wouldn't have thought that Severus would have agreed to that," she said slowly.

"He didn't," Harry said shortly. He swallowed hard and turned to Hermione. "What have I done? I ... sold our apartment. I deliberately invaded his mind when he asked me not to." Harry bit his lip. He could still remember the last time Snape had kissed him slowly and sweetly. It was just before they had fallen asleep that night after they had made the potion. The following morning, they had woken up without their memories and Snape hadn't kissed him since.

"Go and talk to him, Harry," Hermione suggested quietly. "He's just gone through the exact same thing as you. Remember how you two were back at Hogwarts. You both needled each other constantly. You hated each other. That was your mindset this morning. I'm not saying that you should have done what you did, but from what I remember of both of you... you were a different person back then, Harry. You can't blame yourself!"

"But I do," Harry said morosely. He knew that logically, he now wasn't the same person he was this morning, but he could still remember exactly what he had thought when he dove into Snape's mind. It was wrong and Harry couldn't find a way to justify it to himself.

-***-

Harry stood there, staring at the door to Snape's apartment. He couldn't seem to work up the courage to knock on the door. He wanted to speak to Snape, but he didn't think he could stand it if Snape threw him out of the apartment again. Taking a deep breath and screwing his courage to the sticking point, Harry lifted his hand and knocked rapidly on the door. As his hand slowly came down, Harry crossed the fingers on his other hand.

Harry was beginning to think that Snape wasn't there any more or that he wasn't going to answer, when the door opened. Snape stood there, his face impassive. "What do you want?" he asked curtly.

"Can I come in?" Harry asked quietly. "Please?"

He could tell that Snape wanted to refuse, but the man held the door open instead.

"Thank you," Harry said as he stepped inside. Snape gestured towards the couch so Harry sat down. Snape sat down on the opposite couch.

"What do you want?" Snape asked, sounding tired.

"To apologise," Harry said hesitantly.

"You already did," Snape pointed out. "Was there anything else?"

Harry bit his lip. "I wanted to explain," he said. He could see Snape about to say something so he held his hand up. "Please, let me explain. We're still married. I love you. You know I love you."

"I love you too," Snape said unexpectedly. "But that doesn't excuse what you did yesterday."

Harry took a deep breath. "Do you remember how I was when I was sixteen? Do you remember how I pushed back during the Occlumency lessons and ended up seeing that memory of you and my father?"

Snape nodded. "You were a brat," he said, with a brief smile on his face.

"I know that," Harry said quietly. "I wasn't the same person back then. I'm not the same person I was a few days ago. You know that. You forgave me eventually for that breach during the Occlumency lessons. I'm asking you to forgive me again. I would have never done that if I was myself."

Harry braced himself for an argument. He expected Snape to protest, to say that Harry was always the same person and that Harry had broken his trust and invaded his privacy. What Harry didn't expect was for Snape to sigh and nod. "I know that, Harry," he said.

"What?" Harry blinked. He wasn't sure he had heard it right.
A wry expression crossed Snape's face. "I know that," he repeated. "I was angry, but once you left, I thought about it and realised the same thing. It doesn't excuse what you did, but as you said... you were a different person."

Harry could feel his spirits lifting. "You mean..." he said, half standing up. "You're not angry?"

Snape had a pensive expression on his face. "I'm still angry," Snape said. "But not at you. I know you were a different person ten years ago. So was I." He stood up and walked over to sit next to Harry. "I'm more forgiving now," he said, with a hint of a smile.

Harry could feel his heart pounding as he felt Snape's arm brush his own. Snape reached over and ran a gentle finger across Harry's cheek. Then, slowly, almost imperceptibly slowly, Snape leaned forward. Harry gasped as Snape's lips brushed his own. Snape still tasted the same like unidentifiable potions ingredients and strong soap.

"I'm still sorry," Harry said honestly when they came back for air. He shrugged. "I still feel responsible. Plus, we still don't know what caused the cauldron to explode. I could have made a mistake."

Snape held up a hand. "I love you, Harry," he said quietly. "Don't blame yourself for the accident. I'm not going to lose you over something like this."

Harry couldn't help a huge grin spreading over his face. "I love you, Severus." He shifted forward and insinuated himself into Snape's lap. "It's been over three months," he teased, feeling his cock hardening as he remembered some of the things they had done on this very couch over the years.

Snape rolled his eyes at him. "Insatiable brat," he said, but there was gentle fondness in his words.

-***-

Epilogue

The Daily Prophet
13/12/2020

After years of hard work, Potions Masters Potter and Snape have finally perfected their Memory Erasing potion. A simple potion administered once, even to the worst criminals, can erase anywhere between five years to fifty years of memories. It has been hailed by the Auror Department as the biggest breakthrough since Veritaserum.

"With this," Ron Weasley, of the Auror Department, said, "we will be able to rehabilitate even the worst criminals."

However, there is a warning label to go with this Memory Potion. As our two acclaimed Potions Masters experienced years ago, if this potion is created in anything except a glass cauldron, the cauldron is liable to explode. Given the volatile qualities of the potion, when it is heated, it can be absorbed through the skin.

Members of the Civil Liberties Group have called for a ban on the potion, citing it as a gross infringement of human rights. The Wizengamot is expected to vote on its approval later this week.

-finis