Author's Note: Hello everyone, I just wanted to give a HUGE thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed, you guys are all so great and keep me going :) Here is Chapter Twenty-Two for all of your enjoyments :)
Chapter 22: Just One More Chance
" And when I met you, I never would have imagined that I would have such strong feelings for you. I never would have thought that I would have dreams about you, or miss being by your side, or get butterflies in my stomach when someone mentions your name. When I first met you, I never would've thought I would love you."-Anonymous.
I toss and turn, trying to find sleep. I finally unplugged my phone around two when it wouldn't stop ringing. Everyone wants to talk to the girl who saved the King of Pop. You would think after two months there would be a bigger and hotter story out there for everyone to talk about. I finally give up on the idea of sleeping. I slide out of bed, my sudden hunger making my mouth water. Making my way downstairs, a soft knock stopping me from my current objective of finishing off the last piece of coffee cake in the kitchen. Since I cant have the caffeine in coffee, I have to have the next best thing. I grow frustrated, pulling open the door. Don't people know bothering a tired, hungry, pregant woman is dangerous for their health?
" Damn it when are you people going to leave me the hell alone," I ask, looking up from tightening my robe. " Janet?" Before she says anything she throws her arms tightly around me, weeping into my shoulder.
" Dani, I, we, there will never be enough words," Janet stammers, and I kick the door shut, leading her to the couch.
" Janet, slow down," I say, handing her a tissue smiling at her.
" I'm sorry, I shouldn't have just come over this way. But you wont answer your phone, and you haven't returned any messages, so I had to come see you. Daniella, I will never be able to thank you enough, if you didn't come forward Grace Mitchell would have never told the truth," she says, wiping her face.
" Janet, you don't have to thank me, I only did what was right plain and simple," I say, getting up to pace the room, my hand rubbing at the ache in my back.
" No, you did it because you love him," she says, and I nod. That was a big reason that I did it, not only because I knew beyond a show of a doubt he was innocent, but also because the thought of the man I love sitting behind bars for such a heinous crime made me sick.
" That isn't the point Janet. Yes I love him, I will always love him, but that doesn't matter anymore," I say, tightening my arms around myself, the ache threatening to tear me apart.
" Well why the hell not?" she asks, pulling me down to sit next to her.
" Its simple Janet. He married Lisa-Marie," I say, tears rolling down my face as I stare into my lap. Janet reaches over lifting my face with her hands, staring at me.
" You have an amazing heart Daniella James. The 'marriage' between Michael and Lisa is a lie, it was done for publicity. Michael only agreed to it because he is always so damn doped up on the pills," she says, and my breath catches in my throat.
" So it's true, he has been popping pills," I say, my heart breaking at the thought. How deep was his pain that he chose to rely on pharmaceuticals to dull it?
" Yes its true," she says, nodding her head slowly.
" Janet, I'm sorry. I cant imagine what you all have been going through, the trial, the marriage, his addiction, but that doesn't change anything. He made his choice and now I have to live with it," I say, wishing that I could have saved him from everything, but not even I have that kind of strength.
I stare at the television, unblinking. It was nice, having Janet around, talking with her like we used too. I sigh, trying to find a comfortable position to sit in. Shouldn't the news of Michael and Lisa's marriage being a sham make me feel any better? Part of me knows that it should. It means that he isn't in love with her, but that doesn't change the fact that its her ring on his finger and vice versa. Not mine, like it should be. I walk slowly up the stairs, opening the door to the nursery I am putting together. I run my fingers along the wood of the crib, remembering when Carly-Ann slept peacefully in this very bed. I sit in the rocking chair, placing my hand on my expanding stomach. My child, my son, turning restlessly within my womb. I smile at the feel of him, somersaulting inside of me.
" Restless tonight little one? Mmm, so am I," I say, humming as I rock back and forth, dropping off into a dreamless sleep.
I open my front door, flashes of cameras going off. I hold my hand over my face, trying to walk without falling, almost blinded by the flashing bulbs.
" Daniella, Daniella, can you answer a few questions, its been two months and you still haven't released a statement," one of the reporters yells to me.
" I'm sorry, I'm just trying to get to class," I say, holding my head down, a protective hand over my stomach.
" Is it true that you demanded money from Michael in exchange for the child your carrying?" someone yells, and I stop dead in my tracks, turning slowly.
" What did you say?" I ask calmly, searching the crowd for who said something so vile to me.
" Rumor has it that you told Mr. Jackson you wanted money for the baby," the voice calls, and I grind my teeth harshly.
" I have never heard something so ridiculous in my entire life. I haven't even spoken to Michael since I left Tokyo in December. I don't want, expect or need anything from him. You want a statement I will give you one. I did what was right. Michael has never done anything wrong to a child, nor would he ever, that's why I came forward. If he chooses to be a part of his child's life I will not stop him, however there is no amount of money in this world that he or any of his people could offer me that would make me even consider giving up my child. There's your statement, now leave me the hell alone," I say, shoving through the crowd getting into my car. I start it up, pulling away quickly, wishing I could just scream at the top of my lungs. Sell my child are they insane? I grip the steering wheel tightly flipping on the radio.
" This just in, the King of Pop Michael Jackson has collapsed onstage during a rehearsal. He was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. It is said that he has been pouring all of his energy into picking back up his European tour that was cut short in December, stay tuned to 97.7 KIIS FM as we follow this story." I stop the car, my heart plummeting into my stomach. I turn around, throwing my car into park so fast that it surprises me that I manage to get out of the car without hurting myself or my child. I push through the people standing in front of my house, trying to stifle the tears as I fumble with my keys, I slam through the front door, slamming it shut tightly behind me. My heart races as I fumble for my bag, panting as I search through it finally cursing as I dump the contents all over the floor. I race my hands over my things turning papers over finally finding what I'm searching for. With shaky hands I punch the numbers on my phone listening to it ring.
" Damn it Max, answer the phone!" I scream, fighting the tears when the answering machine picks up. " God damn it!" I throw the phone forcefully across the room, pacing around the room. What do I do? Do I stay here and wait to hear what happens? Do I go to him? 'Follow your heart Momma.' Carly-Ann's voice pleads with me and I grab my keys off the floor, running back out of the house. I climb into the car a sharp pang shooting through my body. I sit back taking a deep breath as I run my hands over my stomach. I start my car, pulling carefully out of the driveway trying my hardest to keep my eyes clear of tears. He has to be okay.
I stare at the scene in front of Cedar-Sinai Medical Center, my heart racing as I try and think over the roar in my head. I slip out of my car, pulling the hood of my sweater of my head, sliding my sunglasses over my eyes, covering my mouth with my hand. Time for my two point five seconds of acting lessons to be put to some use. I start coughing loudly as I approach the crowd, people automatically dispersing giving me the reaction I was hoping for. I easily make it through the crowd and into the hospital, my heart racing as I walk towards the nurses station.
" Can I help you?" the older woman asks, eyeing me speculatively.
" I need to know what room Mr. Jackson is in," I whisper, groaning when she rolls her eyes.
" Nice try honey, but like the rest of the media you will have to wait outside," she says, pointing me to the door.
" You don't understand," I say, pulling the hood off of my head, sliding my sunglasses off. She stares at me blankly. Apparently this woman didn't keep up with entertainment news. " Is that supposed to mean something? I didn't think so, Security!" she yells and I sputter as two men grab my arms pulling me towards the doors.
" Dani?" a questioning voice comes from down the hall, and I look up with flooding eyes to see Max standing dumbfounded.
" Max," I scream back, struggling to wiggle out of the security officers hold.
" Let her go, are you insane. Man handling a pregnant woman that way, you should be ashamed of yourselves," Max says, taking me gently out of the arms that were holding me back.
" My apologies miss," one of them says as Max leads me down the hall. I hug myself tightly, struggling to keep the questions from tumbling out of my mouth. Max leads me into a private room, closing the door quietly behind us. I whirl on him, my lungs aching as I try to catch my breath.
" Max, what happened? Where is he? Is he okay?" I stammer out, my body shaking violently.
" Whoa, whoa calm down honey, sit down please," he says, helping me to a chair. I sink down slowly, my knees shaking uncontrollably.
" I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come, please just tell me he is okay," I whisper, tears falling down my cheeks.
" I don't know if he's going to be okay. The have him hooked on a respirator, Dani, he collapsed because of the pills, if anyone can make him see reason its you," he says, and I look up at him, shaking my head.
" I, I cant Max. I cant see him," I say, my voice shaking against the tears. 'Liar' my head screams at me.
" Dani, please," he pleads with me, and I look at him, finally nodding my head in agreement.
I walk slowly next to Max, his hand on my lower back leading me through all of the security posted just outside of Michael's room. I stop, staring at the door ahead of me.
" Max, I don't know if I can," I trail off his hand tightening on my shoulder.
" You can," he whispers and I push open the door, stepping into the low light shutting the door silently behind me. Katherine sits by his bed side, her face the picture of composure, unless you're a mother, the pain and turmoil would be unreadable, expertly hidden under her carefully placed façade. Her eyes meet mine, a soft light coming into them as she leans forward her face disappearing behind the curtain.
" I'm going to go for a minute my son, someone is here to see you," Katherine murmurs, getting up from her seat. She takes me in her arms, hugging me closely before leaving the room. I stare around the room, shivering from the chill in the air. I take a deep breath as I breathe deeply, sitting in the seat Katherine had been occupying not looking up. I let out a shaky breath, looking up slowly. A sob tearing out of me when I see that it's the same old Mike. If it wasn't for the breathing tube shoved down his throat. I close my eyes as tears pour down my face. I let out a choking breath, taking Michael's hand in mine.
" What happened to you Michael?" I ask, resting my forehead against his limp hand. " Pills? Really?" I sigh as I turn his hand over, pressing my face against his palm. " Michael, you have to be okay. I brought something for you, its no life size teddy bear, but it will help you make it through, just like it helped me." I pull out the stuffed pink hippo that Carly-Ann would drag along with her everywhere, tucking it in next to Michael. I stand up, taking Michael's hand in mine pressing it firmly against my stomach. Our son kicks under his hand, and I tighten my grasp on him. " This is why you have to be okay Michael, for your baby, your son." I lay his hand down, leaning over the bed, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. " Please Michael, please. You cant leave us, not yet, not like this, not ever." I sigh heavily, the tears coming faster and faster as I step away. I glance at him one last time. I pull open the door, sobs tearing out of me as I try unsuccesfully to supress them.
" Dani," Max calls out and instead of turning towards him I turn the other way, running as fast as I can in the opposite direction. I make it to the end of the hall before I have to stop, grasping the wall. Pain skyrocketting through my body, forcing me to double over, a cold sweat breaking out across my skin.
" Oh, oh God," I murmur, trying to carefully slide my body down against the wall.
" Dani!" Max screams racing to my side. I flash panic stricken eyes to his face.
" It's the baby Max," I pant, and I wrap my arms around his neck as he picks me up cradling me in his arms as he yells for help.
" Well Miss. James everything looks perfect. Your son is in excellent health, Braxton hicks contractions can be brought on and even be severe when you put yourself under an unnecessary amount of stress," the doctor says, and I drop back against the pillows letting out a deep breath. I run my hands over my stomach, Max squeezing my hand.
" Thank you doctor, when can I get out of here?" I ask, and my smile falters when the doctor looks at me seriously.
" We're going to want to keep you over night, just to be on the safe side," he says, and I groan. No use in fighting it though, I would rather be safe than sorry when it comes to my baby. I nod my head in defeat as the doctor leaves the room, turning my head to look at Max.
" You always saving me," I murmur, smiling at him. He shrugs his shoulders, beaming down at me.
" Someone has to do it," he says, brushing a hand over my hair. " I probably shouldn't tell you this, and I don't want to creep you out but, over the last two months I've been watching you."
" Watching me?" I ask, pushing myself up in the bed grabbing at my hospital gown so that it doesn't slip off of my shoulder.
" Mike, he, he tried calling you, a billion times a day after the trial, after you saved him. He left message after message. He thinks you've moved on Dani, but he asked me to keep an eye on you, make sure your okay. I tried telling him, if he just gave you some time," he trails off, sighing heavily. The feeling of being watched was something I was used to by now, everywhere I went there were people with cameras and tape recorders hoping to get something, anything out of me.
" Well, uh, its nice to know, that there was a friendly face out there, somewhere," I say, closing my eyes wearily.
" Dani, can I ask you a question?" he asks, and I look over at him, not realizing until this moment the exhaustion on his face alive in his eyes. I nod my head, staring at him. " Have you moved on? I mean, is it, is it really over for you and Mike?" His words roll over me, and I shudder. I shrug my shoulders trying to find the right words to say.
" Max, I. I would love to say no. To say that I will never give up hope, but he's married Max, and even though I know that the marriage was nothing more than a feeble attempt at painting Michael in a different light, it doesn't change the fact that he is married to Lisa-Marie. He wears her ring, and she wears his. And they may not be in love but I wont stand in the way of it. I wont be the one held responsible for their divorce. I love him so much Max, that when I'm alone I feel like its going to consume me, just swallow me whole, and the ache from knowing that he and I, that what we had is gone is just as big. I have a child to think about, so I have to move on. As long as I know that he is okay, that he will be okay, I'll be able to do that," I say, my eyes burning but I refuse to let the tears fall.
" That's just it though Dani, he will never be," he's cut off mid-sentence when there is a soft knock on the door.
" Come in," I say, thinking its probably one of the nurses to take my vitals, instead standing in the door way of my hospital room is Lisa-Marie Presley Jackson, her face running over mine a ghost of a smile on her lips.
" Can we talk?" Lisa-Marie asks and incline my head. I smile when Max presses a kiss to my hair assuring me he will be right outside of the door. When the door closes we are blanketed in utter and complete silence, staring at each other. I look her over, wondering if she came here to tell me in no uncertain terms to stay away from Michael, and if she did I would understand.
" Daniella," Lisa-Marie says, walking towards me, taking a seat in the chair next to my bed. I steel myself, ready to hear what she has to say. After all this is Michael's wife, and there isn't a damn thing I can do about.
Michael's POV
You would think after getting a new lease on life I would feel better than I do now. Oh how wrong you would be. Every day is more miserable than the one before it. The only think helping me through is the memory of the small smile that DanI gave me after court that day, and the pills. Nothing else helped. And because I couldn't do anything else, I'm pouring my heart and soul into my return to the stage. The sooner I get away from Los Angeles, the sooner I can bury my heart ache. I walk backstage, rounding up the dancers.
" All right people, you have the set list, lets get started," I say, the pills coursing through my system helping me smile. I lose myself in the music, easily correcting people, easily forgetting everything but the moment. When the beats for The Way You Make Me Feel start, I feel my heart beat speed up at the memories. The light comes up and for a few seconds I honestly believe the dancer is Dani. She has blonde hair like Dani, only not as long, not as full. Her skin is the same as Dani's, only not as smooth, it doesn't have the same glow. She doesn't feel the same in my arms. I close my eyes knowing that I could do the steps in my sleep, closing my eyes so that I don't erupt with anger at the dancer who isn't DanI. at least in my head I can pretend its her, pretend that I never sent her away, never married anyone that wasn't her, pretend that I spent every single day with her and the child that grows inside of her. The pain ripping in my chest stops me from dancing, my lungs feeling as if they have been set on fire as I gasp for air. I can hear everyone calling for me, asking me if I am okay. I collapse onto the stage trying to fight for air, for oxygen, trying to escape the darkness that collapses on my head. Yet there is no help, only darkness, only cold.
'Mikey, oh Mikey,' Carly-Ann's sweet voice calls for me, sounding as clear and pure as a bell. I turn my head smiling in awe at my surroundings. Neverland.
'Carly-Ann?' I call out, turning in circles trying to find her.
' Bet you cant find me,' she calls out a giggle flowing out over the lands. I run across the grass, grinning from ear to ear, rounding a huge rock cliff. I stop in my tracks when it isn't Neverland that lays before me, instead, it's the driveway, Carly-Ann's lifeless body laying before me. I back up, a hand clapping over my eyes as I try to shut it out.
' Why are you showing me this?' I call out my voice cracking.
' You have to see Mikey, that this isn't your fault. Open your eyes,' she calls to me, a soft touch on the sleeve of my shirt. I open my eyes slowly, and see that the painful scene is gone, its just Carly-Ann and me.
' It was my fault. Carly-Ann, I never meant to hurt you. What you saw that night between Lisa and me,' I trail off when she laughs happily, throwing her arms around me.
' I already know Mikey, but that isn't why I'm here. Momma's hurting for you Mikey,' she says, her eyes growing serious and sad.
' No, she's hurting because I hurt her. I sent her away,' I say, trying my hardest not to cry. ' I never meant to send her away, and now its over. I ruined it.'
' Do you remember what you promised me? You promised me you would take care of Momma, and you have to keep it. You have to take care of her, and take care of my little,' Carly-Ann's voice trails off and she disappears.
'Carly-Ann! Carly-Ann!' I scream, getting to my feet as I search wildly for her. A new voice breaks through the darkness that surrounds me a voice that has me staggering and falling to my knees.
" What happened to you Michael? Pills? Really?" Dani's voice calls to me, and I close my eyes trying to wake up. When I open them, I'm standing in a hospital room, staring at Dani and me. Her forehead resting against my hand.
'Wake up Michael, wake up!' I scream but my voice goes unheard.
" Michael, you have to be okay. I brought something for you, its no life size teddy bear, but it will help you make it through, just like it helped me." she says and all I can do is watch as she pulls Carly-Ann's hippo from her bag, tucking it in next to my body. I watch as she stands up, and I almost call out to her, beg her to stay, when she lifts my hand, pressing it to her extended belly. I stare at my hand and feel the movement.
" This is why you have to be okay Michael, for your baby, your son." she says, and the breath catches in my throat. A son. " Please Michael, please. You cant leave us, not yet, not like this, not ever." Then she's gone, and its only me staring at myself in the dim light of the hospital room. I fall to my knee's next to the hospital bed, tears racking my body.
" Please, please, just give me another chance, just one more chance. I swear I will make it right, please," I beg, the cold darkness taking me over, then there's nothing, just silence.