Author's Note: All right, well I want to say thank you for the continual support from everyone, you guys are so awesome :) I will apologize now if this chapter isn't the greatest, I have just been feeling rather down lately. I hope that you all read and enjoy it, and review if you want :) Thanks everyone

Chapter 23: Where I belong

"Happiness and sadness run parallel to each other. When one takes a rest, the other one tends to take up the slack." ~Hazelmarie Elliott

I play with the hair band on my wrist, staring at it so that my eyes don't meet Lisa-Marie's. The silence is overbearing, and I wish that she would just say whatever it is that she came to say. I snap the hair band, the small twinge of pain keeping me grounded, when Lisa-Marie reaches her hand out taking my wrist between her fingers.

" This is Michael's isn't it?" Lisa-Marie asks, and I look up her eyes studying the black material around my wrist.

" Yes," I answer her, my heart racing wildly in my chest.

" He would be happy to know that you kept it, after all this time," she says, smiling at me with shining eyes. I smile as much as I can, the tears burning behind my eyes.

" I just, I couldn't let it go. As much as I tried just throwing it away or whatever it just didn't feel right," I say, trying to look away from her gaze.

" Daniella, I came here to tell you and to ask you," she says, and I sigh heavily, knowing what's coming next.

" You don't have to explain. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here, I, I don't know why I did. I overstepped such a huge boundary. I respect that you're his wife Lisa, I do, I know that might be hard for you to believe, what with me showing up like this and all, but believe me I do. I just, I had to come and see for myself. I had to come and make sure that he will be okay," I stammer, shaking my head as if I can shake away the pain in my heart.

" Daniella, its okay. I know why you came. Just like I know that you know, what Michael and I have isn't real. I love Michael. He is one of my best friends, but he's like a brother to me. I understand if your trying to do the respectable thing, like staying away, but I have to tell you not too. Michael is dying without you Dani, he needs you. If you could just hear the way that he talks about you," she says, but I just shake my head crying.

" I can't, I can't Lisa. I love him so much but that doesn't change anything. He sent me away Lisa, when he should have held onto me, he should have believed in my strength to handle whatever situation might arise and he didn't. What will happen if five, ten, fifteen years down the road something else happens? I cant handle this again. My child wouldn't be able to handle it and I would never put my child, our child in that kind of situation, I'm sorry," I say, rolling away from her, tears rolling down my face seeping into the pillows under my head. I hear her get to her feet, and I sigh knowing that its over. I have officially let him go, its done now.

" I'm sorry too. Just in case you change your mind, you should look at this," she murmurs as she leans over me, laying a large envelope next to me, the sound of the door opening and clicking shut behind her leaving me in silence.

I sit on my couch, finally alone. Convincing Brandon, Kyle, and Mom that I will be fine by myself was harder than I had thought it would be. It's taken me two weeks since my overnight hospital stay to convince them that I will be all right, that I'm a big girl who can take care of herself. All is somewhat right in my world. Michael is doing well, so Max has told me, and he is currently in Thailand preparing for his big come back. I hold the envelope that Lisa gave to me the day she came to see me, my fingers fighting the urge to open it. I toss it down on the couch. No, no. opening it will just shake whatever resolve that I have left in me. This is insane, fighting with myself over opening a damn envelope. I pick it up opening it slowly. I pull out the folded papers inside of it, breathing deeply as I unfold them. My eyes growing huge as I realize what it is. A copy of annulment papers. Lisa-Marie and Michael's marriage was dissolved three weeks ago? I flip through all of the other pages, all sketches of me, my mind racing as I see the same familiar signature at the bottom of every page. Michael's. my eyes tear up when I reach the final page.

' Daniella,

In case you haven't realized it by now, you're the only one he ever thinks about. Sometimes when he looks at me or anyone else I wonder if your all he see's. I will always love Michael, but not the way he loves you, or you love him. If your reading this, convincing you of that fact was harder than I thought it would be. I don't know what more I can do to show you that Michael loves you, only you. I thought the pictures I sent to you a few months ago would show you, remind you of everything you two had together. Force you to remember the way his eyes would light up when he saw you. You are the strongest person that I know Daniella. You walked away from Michael, though you still loved him. You exposed your heart and child to the entire world to save Michael. You sat on the side lines when he married me, knowing that it should have been you. So why cant you be strong enough to accept the fact that you two belong together? Why cant you see that you two not being together is a crime? Please, just think about it, seriously.

Love,

Lisa-Marie.

P.S. Sometimes being so strong is a weakness.'

I set the letter down, staring at the sketch of me staring back at me, tears blurring my vision. Why? Why did she have to write this to me? Why did she have to tell me everything that I had so desperately wanted to hear, and yet didn't want to hear at all? I pick up the papers, stuffing them back into the envelope. I lean down picking up a few papers that flutter to the floor, the breath catching in my throat as I pick it up.

" A plane ticket?" I murmur, pulling off the post it note stuck to the front of it.

' Just in case.' I run my fingers over the ticket, noting the date. I pick up the phone dialing a familiar number with numb fingers.

" Hey Momma, no, I'm okay. Listen I love you, but there's something I have to do," I say, knowing that I'm doing the right thing.

" Daniella are you sure? Is it safe for you to be flying?" Mom asks me her eyes searching my face. I sigh heavily, nodding fiercely.

" Yes I'm sure, I have to do this Mom," I say, pushing out of the car.

" Daniella, I know that you want to believe that something is still there, but what if there isn't?" she asks, her eyes shining into me.

" Then there isn't Momma. But I will never know if I don't try," I say, lifting my carry on bag over my shoulder.

" When did you become so brave?" she asks, taking my face between her hands.

" When I got you as a Momma," I whisper hugging her close. " I will call you when I get there. I love you." I walk away from her my heart pounding with every step that I take. Maybe she was right, maybe there was nothing there, maybe the people surrounding him were reading to far into things, but I will never be satisfied, I will never be able to move on in my life, or let him go, if I don't find out for myself.

I step out of the Bangkok airport, trying to adjust to the fact that its later here than it is back at home. You would think with all of the traveling I did before with Michael I would be used to the time changes, then again you a person can never get used to it. I hail a taxi, smiling when the driver enthusiastically jumps from the car to help me with my bags. I slide into the car, pulling out the itinerary that Lisa had slipped into the envelope for me.

" Where it is you go?" the driver asks, smiling back at me.

" Suphachalasai Stadium," I reply, and his eyes widen.

" Michael Jackson, you big fan?" he asks starting the car quickly, and I smile at the excitement in his broken english.

" You could say that," I murmur, running my hands over my stomach. I thrum my fingers nervously on the seat, trying to keep my mind occupied. I notice we're getting close when the traffic gets thicker and the massive crowd comes into view.

" I not make it through," the driver says and I shake my head handing him a wad of money.

" That's okay, that's fine, I'll get out here," I say, grabbing my bags as I push from the car. I maneuver through the crowd, carefully making it through when I slide around the side of the stadium.

" Sorry miss, only people with backstage passes…Dani?" Max says, his eyes widening in shock. I drop my bags, throwing my arms around him. " What, how, why?" I smile grabbing his face in my hands.

" Your stuttering Max, that's my job," I say, smiling foolishly at him, giggling when he pulls me through the doors. " Lisa, left me an interesting package the day she saw me at the hospital. Why didn't you tell me? That their marriage was over?" I ask, letting him lead me to an empty dressing room.

" I was getting there, but you were so convinced. That isn't the point, I'm going to go find Michael," he says, and before he can turn to leave I grab him.

" No, don't. I'm not ready to see him yet. I'm just going to watch from back hear. I'll see him after the show," I say, my eyes pleading with his.

" Fine, fine, just stay here," he says, hugging me one last time before leaving me alone. I take a seat on the couch, tucking my legs underneath me turning my eyes to the television screen. I get up after the first two minutes of the show, just watching him on a screen isn't enough, I have to see him. I walk through the backstage, standing in the dark corner of the stage, my breath catching in my throat at seeing him so close. My fingers tingle to reach out and touch him, so much so that I have to grip them tightly in front of me. I have to wait, its only a three hour show, I can hold out for that long, cant I?

Michael's POV

Another country, another concert. The roar of the crowd doesn't excite me the way that it used to. Doesn't make me want to give my hundred percent. I go through the motions, my mind wandering the entire time. What was she doing right now? Was she okay? I run off stage not even feeling the hands that help me change. I pull my hair down, shaking my head. I know that this concert is being telecasted. My big comeback. Would she be watching? I run back onstage stopping the music.

" I, I just have a few things to say," I say, the roar of the crowd deafening me. " The last few months have been pure hell. I just want to thank all of my fans for your never wavering spirits, and support. To my family, I will never be able to thank any of you enough. There's one more person, that I want to thank, only thank you will never be enough. And I have just one question for you," I say, cuing the music. The familiar notes and chords of Will You Be There surround me as my heart pours into the song. I lose myself in the moment, thinking only of her. Out of the corner of my eye I see a flash of pale skin but shake it off. I really must be going crazy. Tears cloud my eyes at the ending of the song, the words pouring shakily out of my mouth, a plea to the one who holds my heart.

Dani's POV

I get lost in his performance, my eyes clouding over at his words. I knew who he was talking to, his words shooting straight to my heart. Did I cause his pain? Did my stubbornness to do right cause the look of total and utter desperation to cloud his once beautifully bright eyes? I back away from the stage my heart breaking. I walk through the crowds of people, grabbing my bags as I leave. I made a huge mistake.

I sit in my hotel room staring out of the window. How familiar is this? I run my hands over my hair, realizing that I waited too long. Any hope I had, no matter how small it was, was pointless. A rapid knock on my door pulls me to my feet, I walk to the door pulling it open to reveal Siedah.

" It's true, Max told me you were here but when we couldn't find you after the show I thought he was going crazy or something, oh Dani," she squeals throwing her arms around me. I stumble from the force laughing despite my heavy heart. I shut the door quickly before she leads me to the couch. " How did you get here? Why didn't you stay after the show? Have you seen Michael yet? Oh God, I missed you!"

" Slow down Siedah, and I missed you too. I flew here, obviously. Lisa, she ah, she left me a ticket. No, I haven't seen him, and I don't think I'm going to," I reply her face falling rapidly.

" What, why?" she demands getting up to pace the room.

" I shouldn't have come here Siedah. It was a huge mistake. I saw the look on his face, when he sang that song, I caused that. I waited too long. I let my stubbornness get in the way, and its too late now," I say, tears rolling down my face. " I saw the pain in his eyes, and its because of me."

" Your right, not that its because of you. Your right because he is pain. Michael blames himself every single day for sending you away. The only time I have seen him smile since you've been gone is when he was doped up, and lately its only when he stares at pictures of you. He has them everywhere. His dressing room, his room, everywhere. You owe it to yourself, and your baby to talk to him," she says, and I nod.

" I know, I'm just, I'm scared," I say, trying to still my shaking hands.

" What's love if not a little scary?" she asks when she is standing in the door way of my room. " Oh and DanI, he's in room 414," she says peering at me over her shoulder before closing the door.

I walk through the hall slowly, my pulse jumping in the silence. 410, 411, 412, 413, the numbers pass me, and my eyes land on the Michael's door. I run my hands over my hair, straightening my shirt over my pants, the baby moving restlessly. ' I can do this,' I think to myself as I lift my hand to knock on the door. My fingers tingle as I wait in the silence of hallway.

" Come in, its open," Michael calls out, his voice hollow. I push the door slightly slipping in, quietly shutting it behind me. I watch his form, sitting on the couch a picture frame in his hand, glinting in the soft light of his room.

" I know I should let her go Max," Michael says, not looking up to see that its me standing here, not Max. I open my mouth to tell him who it is, instead he keeps talking, his voice thick with tears. " After all this time its like she never left. Like I can feel her. Its like she's within reach but no matter how hard I try I just cant reach far enough to touch her. What am I supposed to do? How can I live without her? If I could just see her one more time, I would tell her everything that I have been thinking, everything that I should have told her months ago. If I could just hold her one more time." His confession pulls at my heart, my very soul aching to be in his arms, to tell him its all going to be okay again.

" Michael," I say, my voice shaking out of me. I stand bathed in soft light watching as his head comes up, as he slowly turns his head and looks at me.

" Dani?" he asks, his questioning tone telling me that he doesn't quiet believe I'm here. I watch as he gets to his feet, walking slowly towards me. I drink him in, his eyes shining in the low light, his curly hair brushing his shoulders. I gasp lightly when he reaches out to me, his fingers sliding down my cheek, fire surging through my blood. " Its you, its really you," he murmurs, shaking his head like he's trying to shake himself from a dream. " How, when?" I stare at him, the look of disbelief on his face leaving me unable to talk. I pull myself from my daze, concentrating on his face.

" Lisa uh gave me an interesting package a few weeks ago. Gave me the ticket and itinerary herself," I murmur, shoving my hands into my pockets to stop myself from reaching out to touch him.

" She did?" he asks, his voice revealing his surprise at my revelation. I simply nod, looking down at my feet. I lift my head, noticing the way he stares at me.

" I just, I had to come, to see you. To tell you that I'm okay, we're okay," I say, placing my right hand over my stomach. When nothing but silence meets me my heart aches. " I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come." I turn around grabbing the door handle tightly.

" Dani, wait," he calls out, catching my arm in his hand. He turns me around to look at him, his eyes searching my face. " I wanted just one chance, one moment to explain, to, to tell you everything, and now that you're here I don't know what to say. I practiced the speech in my head a million times and now I cant remember a thing that I wanted to say." I smile at him, the feel of his hand on my arm sending butterflies shooting through me.

" The beginning is usually a good start," I murmur, giggling at the small laugh that comes out of him.

" I never should have sent you away Dani. I was just, I was so scared of what would be said. I knew that it would get really ugly before it got any better. I didn't want you to be immersed in that, and I knew the only way to get you to leave was to hurt you. I will never be able to take that back, and I have to live with it for the rest of my life. I don't think that I will ever be able to forget the look in your eyes, the way they just died. I have hated myself since that day, and I have never stopped loving you, or thinking about you. No matter how hard I tried. You were always there, your face, your smile, the way you stammer when your nervous or angry, is always in here," he says, tapping his head with a long finger.

" Michael, I have tried so hard to forget about you, I have, and it's a damn hard thing to do when your face is everywhere. The news, magazines, television. I thought, I thought that by staying away, by ignoring you, by refusing to talk to you after the trial, that I was doing the right thing. You had Lisa-Marie after all, and I was trying to concentrate on him, and school," my words cut off, and I freeze caught off guard when Michael presses his lips against mine, his hands fisting in my hair. He pulls away, laying his forehead against mine, his eyes squeezed shut.

" What happened between Lisa and me didn't mean a damn thing, Daniella, you are all that has ever mattered," he says, his hands trailing down my arms, linking his fingers through mine.

" Michael," I murmur, pulling away from him. " I love you, I will always love you, but I don't know if I can stay." his joyful eyes go dark, confusion washing over his face.

" What why?" he asks, his voice angry as he backs away from me.

" Michael, what happens when a year from now, or ten years from now something happens, someone else attempts to hurt you in some way, and you push me away? It wont be just me anymore, it will be me and our child. I wont, I couldn't let him go through that sort of pain, ever," I say, wrapping my arms tightly around my chest. " I just, I came to see you, I wanted to make sure that you will be okay. To tell you, that I love you." I turn around, pulling the door open.

" Please, just don't go. I'm sorry, so very sorry. I cant promise you that something bad wont ever happen again, it comes with the territory, but I can promise you, that as long as your behind me, I will be able to get through anything. Just don't go," he pleads, his voice small and weak. I peer over my shoulder, sighing heavily. I turn around my heart soaring as I throw myself into his arms, hugging him tightly.

" You better keep that promise Mr. Jackson," I whisper into his ear, smiling when he whirls me around, his strong arms holding me again. I bury my face into his shoulder, crying, finally I'm right where I belong.