Chapter Two

Skywarp, known to many as a prankster, was not to be outdone by the constant annual mishaps of Rumble and Frenzy. He for one was sick of the fleshbags' news coverage giving all the kudos… well… "blame", to the cassette twins. This bothered him. This annoyed him. This was just a great big pain in the aft. Megatron tolerated the twin's antics in so much as they did not, well, hadn't recently, disobeyed the three rules. Skywarp, had given five years consideration to this plan, five long solar cycles of scheming and general mayhem to the idea that grew as a small bud in his CPU till it was a huge treeatron just waiting to rupture out of his cranial casing and into the lives of the fleshbags' offspring.

How delightful this would be. He considered as he smirked. Those in his way moved themselves quickly to be on the cuff of his visual range, in case one such random side thought exploded into some nasty joke committed against them on such childish whims. He reached his destination.

"Ooh, this is gonna be great!"

He cackled devilishly as he rubbed his hands together with a body language that would send a shudder down even Ironhide's linkage. In the centre of the large storage bay packaged nicely in a large crate was a device deemed so destructive, so inherently maniacal, so ticklishly unstable and thus, defectively uncontrollable that it bordered on insane. To dare attempt its usage, to even so much as to quietly steal a look, to just simply think about sniffing the crate was enough to incur the wrath of Megatron. How had he phrased it?

"Seditiously prohibited".

And speaking of sedition, not even Screamer had, or would attempt to cross Megatron on this one. The three rules aside, this rule stood OUTSIDE the three rules, and yet at the same time, included them. As to use this thing, shielded behind that crate, nestled deep within foam chips, it was, indeed, an affront to the three rules – and last time it had been used all three rules had been broken. And spectacularly so.

How had such a device come to exist?

What thoughtless, sparkless malefactor, what villainous reprobate, what… what… scoundrel had given birth to this… thing? From who's twisted, disillusioned and morally bankrupt CPU had this thing sprouted its repugnant desire?

Well, no other then Wheeljack himself.

Yip, that's right boys and girls and any other creature devoid of a class of gender. It was none other then the Autobot inventor/pyromaniac Wheeljack. It had not found existence at the hands of a Deception, not a Constructicon or one of Shockwave's charge, nor the guardian himself. Not even Soundwave in his moments of hidden creative flares.

It had been an Autobot.

Oh, the irony had been so delicious, that the mere prospect of an Autobot creating such a doomsday device, well, when Laserbeak returned (singed) and replayed the testing footage… Megatron had on what could only be described as his "interface face". The after footage of Optimus Prime, (also singed) explaining to Wheeljack (missing all four limbs and a vocal flashy head fin) that said "doomsday" device (his words) was too dangerous and had to be locked away for ever on level nine. Wheeljack countered with "Well, isn't that what you said about the Dinobots?"

To which, of course, Ratchet entered the conversation, which, as Ratchet had a habit of doing, violently ended it.

Wheeljack accepted this. As the process of think of thing, design thing, build thing, test thing, thing explodes taking out any number of unfortunate individuals and limbs in process, get repaired by Ratchet, get yelled at Ratchet at the same time, have "words" with Prime, put thing on level nine, think of new thing… this was now a well structured and well learnt habit. The inventor no longer took it personally.

Skywarp lifted the crate's lid with an uncharismatic care. He brushed aside the foam chips and reached inside.

It was such an unassuming little muck of a creation. There was no huge cannon appendage, no raft of dials and no "severity" metre. It was a boring little pink, of all colours, triangular shaped thing with an "on/off" switch.

And that was it. Nothing exciting about it. Of course, now having committed sedition, the jet was in no mood to put an end to his antics… he'd come this far, and no point in giving up now. Checking multiple times that the switch was indeed in the "off" position and that it was a stable switch, he sub-spaced it.

Time to have some fun. (Insert evil laughter).

--

Thundercracker, or TC to his buddies and those bigger then him, knew his brother well enough to know when his demented little CPU had crafted something that was probably going to end in disaster, especially for TC.

"What are you up to?"

"Why, TC, I'm offended, that almost sounds like an accusation".

"It is an accusation".

"Well, TC, by brother, my friend, my "support person", I have to tell you something very important".

"Yes… wait? Support person?"

"Yeah, I saw it coined on some TV show about a bunch of fat offal sacks".

"Offal sacks?"

"Yeah… its my…"

"Let me guess, new term to describe the humans?"

"Yeah! How'd you know?"

"I know you, that's how I know".

"Hehe, true!"

"Now, what are you up too?"

"Well, as I was saying… or about to say… I had an idea…"

"Oh slag".

"Wait, you haven't even heard my idea!"

"I don't have to, as I've had enough experience with your ideas".

Insert flash back one:

Skywarp, Starscream and TC flying low over Cybertron. Skywarp called to his brothers "I have an idea".

Said idea involved flying so low in the hope of scaring the ground thumping Autobots…

Problem with said idea was that Brawn and Ironhide were part of said group of ground thumpers, and those two retrorat Autobots Transformed, turned and caught Skywarp mid strafe. He pulled up, Autobots still attached, who then proceeded to jump onto TC and Screamer and stare the two flanking the prankster jet into prankster jet and then into the ground.

Insert flash back two:

Skywarp, Motormaster, Megatron and TC trapped in some hole… the humans gave it a name "Grand canyon". Skywarp "I have an idea".

Said idea involved firing upwards at the Autobots on the cliff face above, thinking that said cliff face would collapse bringing the Autobots crashing down to their untimely offlinning. (the internal thought earning an external laugh). Said idea didn't work, the Autobots weren't standing where Skywarp thought they were, and all that happened was a cascade of rocks covering all mentioned Decepticons, and particularly so their leader.

Insert flashback three:

Megatron annoyed with Autobots. Wanted something from Autobots and so thusly decided to kidnap one of the Autobot's resident fleshbags. Megatron had settled on Carly, wife of the Ambassador of Earth, and the Decepticon leader explained, the females are particularly vulnerable, thus eliciting more sympathy and protective urges from the heroic dunderheads.

Well, Skywarp was sent to complete the mission. He reported, upon reaching his destination that Carly was not present. He then replied to Megatron:

"Don't worry, boss, I have an idea".

Said idea involved kidnapping the newborn Daniel Witwicky.

The newborn Daniel Witwicky with a stomach flu.

The newborn Daniel Witwicky with a stomach flu that when grasped by Megatron proceeded to explode unpleasant human fluids from multiple orifices all over the Decepticon commander.

There were various other flashbacks that sped through TC's CPU, but it was at this event that Megatron added a "footnote" to the three rules. Skywarp, if you have an idea, keep it to yourself!

Thundercracker returned his attention to the conversation with this little gem:

"I know all about your ideas".

"Oh, bro! You offend me!"

"Look, Warp, just don't go doing anything stupid… and I really don't think I want to know anything else about anything you're planning!"

Skywarp laughed in response, shrugged and then went on his way.

On his way to duty TC ran into his brother Starscream. Starscream could tell immediately by the look on the other's face.

"Skywarp has an idea, doesn't he?"

"Yip".

"Slag".

"Yiiip".