Still don't own anything. Woo! Supernatural is on tonight. The Rapture… The one episode I really want to see. XXD

please read and review as they are love.

"If I could hold you close…
Like you were never gone…
If I could hear your voice…
You'd tell me to be strong…

But sometimes…
I just can't…
I just don't understand…
Why you have to go…
Guess I'll never know…" Change- Sugababes

Hannah slowly walked into bobby's kitchen. Her hangover not being a problem anymore, it was more of a case of a broken heart. It ached so badly.
"Wow. You must have drunk more then I thought. You look like crap Han" Dean called from the table, looking up from the newspaper he was reading.
She rubbed a hand over her eyes and pulled up her fluro orange tracksuit pants "Castiel's gone" She mumbled, placing herself on one of the seats.
"What do you mean Castiel's gone? Gone where?" Dean looked intensely at the younger woman.
Hannah shrugged "I woke up, he was there and he told me if he doesn't leave. The archangels will come and kill me" She smiled her thanks at Bobby as he placed some jam toast in front of her.
Dean looked down "Is he still my angel?" He asked, a sense of humor lacing his voice.

"Dunno. Probably" Hannah felt sick. Not even jam toast could cheer her up. The thing she fell for, opened her heart and risked it to be broken; ran out on her.
Dean threw his hands up in victory "Well then all you have to do is hang around us. You'll still get to see him. I still get to piss you off. Win-win" He smirked and took a bite from his bacon and egg sandwich.
"I suppose" Hannah ate some of her sandwich.

"I'm gonna rip that angel apart" Bobby growled as he sat down next to his daughter.
Hannah sighed and looked up "It's common courtesy not to beat on angels" She placed her head in her hand.
"It's common courtesy which is stopping me from shoving my foot up his ass" Bobby stated, eating his own breakfast of scrambled eggs.
The nineteen year old hunter gave a small smile "Maybe I could go back to school. You know. Learn things" She poked around her food a bit.

Bobby nodded "That sounds like a good idea" He smiled approvingly.
Dean pulled a face "Go back to school? What about hunting? The apocalypse?" He exclaimed. Hannah just wanted to leave. Do Castiel's wishes and forget about him. Forget he ever broke her heart.
"Screw the apocalypse. Screw hunting. I mean. What has it ever done for us? It brought pain, and heartbreak. And I'm sick of it" Hannah stood up from the table. She was hurting. The two men in the room could see that.

"You love him. I know you do Hannah. But you going back to school. You're not going to be able to do squat from there" Dean argued. He liked Hannah. She was strong. But then Castiel broke her down.

Hannah shook her head "I'm going to go pack. Maybe get enrolled at a college somewhere" She whispered. Moving up the stairs.

4 months later….

Hannah laid on the single bed in her room she was sharing with a girl named Sasha. Deans type of girl. One who would sleep with anything male and a pulse.
She missed the hunt, missed Sam and Dean and her dad.
She missed Castiel.
Saying goodbye to Dean was hard. She whispered her goodbye to Sam and wished him good luck on his detoxing.
Dean pulled her into a hug which nearly broke every bone in her abdomen. Bobby just stood back and nodded saying that I'd better call him as soon as I reached New Hampshire.

"Hannah. You coming out?" Sasha asked. Her outfit consisted of a red shirt which left nothing to the imagination, a pair of hipster jeans and a pair of knee high boots. Her hair hung loosely around her shoulders in golden curls.
Hannah sighed "Sure. Just let me put some shoes on" She slid off the bed and searched for her converses.
"No, no, no, no. You are not going out looking like that" Sasha placed a hand on Hannah's chest.

Hannah didn't see anything wrong with her outfit. Jeans which rolled up at the cuff, a black shirt with a dark blue flannelette shirt on top. Her now mahogany hair was tied back into a pony tail "What's wrong with this?" she asked.
Sasha laughed and walked to her draw "I've seen your body Han. You're hot. And you have not brought one guy back to the room since you got here" She threw Hannah a denim mini skirt and a bright pink halter neck top.
"Put those on while I pick out what shoes you should wear. Oh, and straighten your hair and I'll do your make up"

Hannah nodded and walked into the bathroom. She stared at her refection for a moment. She had acne; her hair was always in a pony tail. She had no fashion sense. Maybe this was the reason Castiel didn't fall for her like she fell for him.
Quickly pulling on her outfit and straightening her shoulder length hair, she walked out.
"Damn girl. That bar won't know what hit 'em" Sasha smiled approvingly as she walked over with a pair of black peep toe high heeled shows "Now put these on and I'll do your make up"

She felt like a different person. She had more confidence as she walked into the bar. Sasha looked impressed at what she had done.
"Ooh. Look at those two" She pointed to two familiar men at the bar. Hannah nearly choked as she saw Dean and Castiel sitting up at the wooden bench "No way" She whispered.
"You know them?" Sasha asked, smirking and biting her bottom lip.
Hannah nodded "Yeah. The one in the leather is a good friend" She made her way over.
Motioning to the bar tender, she turned to Dean "Hey handsome" She grinned. Castiel looked directly at her. She was beautiful. Not that she wasn't before. Just…Now…

"Woah. Hannah. You look hot" Dean gasped as he pulled the younger woman into a hug.
Sasha eyed Dean "Oh. This is my friend Sasha, meet Dean" Hannah introduced the two and looked at Castiel.
"Drink?" Dean asked Sasha and Hannah who both nodded.
Motioning to the bar tender, Dean slid off his seat and stood next to Sasha. They would get along like a house on fire.

"So how have you been Castiel?" Hannah slid on the barstool next to the angel.
Castiel tried not to look at how she looked. He wasn't going to tell her that he looked out for her every day. Wished that she would notice him there "Good" He said simply.
"Why are you and Dean in New Hampshire?" Hannah pushed on, taking a shot of a random drink Dean had ordered for her.

"There's a seal about to be broken and we need it stopped"

Hannah raised her eyebrows "Fun" Sasha ran over as an all too familiar song played over the speakers.
"Oh my God Han. Remember this song" She gushed as Dean raised his eyebrows suggestively.
"Anyone who lived through the 90's would remember this song" Hannah laughed. Accidentally leaning backwards into Castiel. He instinctively placed his hands on her arms. Sasha smiled and began singing along. Hannah couldn't help but do the same.

Sasha laughed as she used her glass as a microphone.

You are,
My fire.
The one.
Desire.
Believe.
When I say.
I want it that way.

Hannah couldn't help but think of the angel sitting next to her as she sung along.

But we.
Are two worlds.
Apart.
Cant reach to..
Your heart.
When you say.
I want it that way.

Both girls started to sing along loudly. Dean laughed as he drank another drink.
Tell me whySasha sang.
Hannah looked directly at Castiel ain't nothing but a heartache
Tell me why.
Ain't nothing but a mistake.
Tell me why.
I never wanna hear you say.
I want it that way.

Castiel couldn't help but feel bad at leaving bad. He loved her so much. And he ripped her apart.
Am I.
Your fire.
Your one.
Desire.
Yes I know.
It's too late.
But I want it that way.

Hannah let out a laugh as she had another drink. Castiel knew he should leave. Let her be. Let her have fun. But he couldn't. He needed her as much as she needed him. He knows her every thought. How she thinks of him. Hoping he watches over her. Promising never to open her heart up to anyone again.
Tell me why
ain't nothing but a heartache
Tell me why.
ain't nothing but a mistake
Tell me why.
I never wanna hear you say.
I want it that way.

He ripped her apart. Tore her to shreds. And now, here he was, after abandoning her. Pretending that nothing was wrong.
She wanted to scream out to him how much she loved him. But she couldn't. She couldn't stand the rejection.
So here she was, loving her life—to an extent—with Sasha. Singing along to the Backstreet Boys. The life she never got to have.
She turned to face Castiel again. She saw the hurt in his eyes.
Now I can see that we're falling apart.
From the way that it used to be.
Yeah.
No matter the distance.
I want you to know.
That deep down inside of me…

Dean watched the pair in intrigue. He saw the shock on Hannah's face when she saw him and Castiel. She had changed since she came to school. She didn't belong here though. She belonged hunting. Saving people.
You are,
My fire.
The one.
Desire.
You are.

Don't wanna hear you.
Say.
Ain't nothing but a heartache
Ain't nothing but a mistake
I never wanna hear you say.
I want it that way.

Tell me why
ain't nothing but a heartache
Tell me why.
Ain't nothing but a mistake
Tell me why.
I never wanna hear you say.
I want it that way.

Tell me why
ain't nothing but a heartache
ain't nothing but a mistake
Tell me why.
I never wanna hear you say.
I want it that way.

Castiel had to leave. He needed to. The feelings he thought had ceased 4 months ago had resurfaced.
"I need to go seek revelation" He stated to Dean. Earning a look from Sasha and an eye roll from Hannah.
Dean looked at Hannah "Well I'm going to go take Sasha back to my room. I'm gonna do shit" He laughed, placing an arm around Sasha and leading her out of the crowded bar.
"Cass" Hannah called out as the angel followed Dean and Sasha towards the door.
The angel turned to face her "Yes"
Hannah let out a long sigh "The archangels…"
"Are still after you Hannah" He stated.
Giving a small nod, Hannah walked out with Castiel "I shouldn't be here" He stated.
"Yet you are. I know you don't want to leave" Hannah pointed out as they exited out to the cold wind.

Castiel bowed his head "You're right. I don't. But I also don't want you to die" He explained.
"Yeah you're right" Hannah placed her arms around her body. Castiel removed his jacket and placed it around her "Thanks"
He looked up at the night sky. Millions of twinkling stars above them "Keep doing what you are doing Hannah. I've noticed you have stopped praying"
"I've lost faith. In everything" She whispered.

Castiel stopped at the entrance to her dorm "God's still with you Hannah. Although it may not feel like it now. Continue praying. Continue living your life" He placed a hand on her cheek and stared into her grey orbs.
"What about you?" She whispered, leaning into the angel's touch.

"I continue to stop the breaking of seals. I should leave" When Hannah opened her eyes. Castiel was gone. His jacket still wrapped around her body tightly.
That night she fell asleep smelling her angel as his jacket continued to be draped around her.