The Power of Love

Chapter 8

Ennis woke up the next morning with his head feeling like it was splitting in two. Light spilled through the slightly open gap in the tent and made it worse and it was all he could do to draw a hand across his forehead and groan lightly, desperately trying to recall where he was or what he was doing. For the first few minutes, he couldn't remember a thing. He knew he was on a mountain somewhere herding sheep but it felt much later than the time he usually got up at and something felt very different. He couldn't think what.

Softly though, as he rubbed his sleepy eyes, he turned over onto his side and noticed that there was a body sleeping next to him. Messy, dark hair splayed out in all directions and the bed sheets were drawn right over him, leaving his own body much colder than it needed be. More confusion momentarily entered his brain yet then the other man rolled slightly over onto his back and a terrible feeling suddenly smacked him violently in the stomach.

Jack was lying there next to him, a contended smile and far away gaze in his tired face. His arms were wrapped around himself, signifying how happy and warm he was, and he was completely curled up underneath the blankets, looking so innocent and childlike. Ennis sat up a little as he watched him and winced as further memories of the night before began to creep into his head.

Oh God, what had him and Jack done? He'd woken up with his hand in a very hot place and had jerked away from his companion when he realised what he wanted to do, his eyes wide with anger and shock. But Jack had followed him and grasped him by the jacket, drawing him in ever so close to his body. Ennis had resisted, wanting no kissing, yet knew he couldn't stop it when his partner's belt was undone, a beckoning, yearning sign to what he desired. He couldn't believe he had actually done it though. He felt disgusted, annoyed and appalled at himself for doing such things and couldn't quite grasp it. What on Earth had he been thinking? They have may have been drunk but that didn't stop Jack from being another man. And, according to Ennis and most of the society around him, men just didn't do that together. Only men and women did. And never that harshly. Ennis physically shuddered as he remembered how fast it had gone. He thought he might be sick at the dizziness that had suddenly crept into his brain and he felt his stomach twist. Why hadn't he thought about it last night? Words just couldn't describe the emotions he was going through that morning.

Groaning aloud, he stared once more down at Jack, still in a state of disbelief, and then pulled up his jeans, buttoning them back up. Pushing the canvas cover of the tent slightly back, he saw it was indeed much later than his usual waking time and hoped that Aguirre wouldn't be too mad. He wasn't in the best mood to confront him. He decided he best get going though. He had to get away from Jack and the campsite, hopefully shifting memories and thoughts of the night before.

Not bothering to be quiet in case he woke his fellow companion, Ennis crawled out of the tent, grabbing his hat on the way, and drearily trudged across the camp to his horse on the other side. She seemed bright and awake that morning, desperate the heaviness of the air around, and Ennis momentarily felt annoyed at her. He couldn't bare to see anyone, or anything, with different emotions to him at that point. It drove him mad to again realise he was alone with his feelings. Unless Jack felt the same way. Ennis partly hoped he did. It would get him back for making him do those things last night. He wished his partner felt horrible, lonely, awful, manipulative, deceiving...

Ennis was still going through these, and similar, adjectives when there was a movement behind him and Jack came limping across the camp, unable to close his legs. Ennis scowled and turned away, continuing to prepare the horse. When he was done, he quickly mounted her and turned towards the heavens, noticing the deep greyness gathering above.

'' See ya for supper,'' Jack muttered, his happy disposition gone. Ennis ignored him and rode off, never looking back.

***

Ennis cursed and damned himself, and anything or anyone around, for the rest of the working day, hitting his way past branches of trees and yelling at the sheep or the environment surrounding him if the slightest thing went wrong. A heavy, terrible sense of mixed emotions had washed over him and he couldn't shrug it off, no matter how hard he tried. Memories of the night before were still pounding endlessly at his brain and he felt like screaming almost every minute, wanting to get them out. He was still very much in denial about the situations and at moments, wanted to physically harm Jack just to give him a taste of the pain he was experiencing.

But he didn't see Jack once during the day. Usually he passed him once or twice yet then, it was different. However, this was probably a good thing. During one of his rages, Ennis knew he wouldn't be able to control himself if the reason for them appeared, despite his quiet and shy personality. With a groan, he realised Jack had momentarily shattered through that.

Halfway through the day, after hours of lonesome and confused riding over the fields and meadows, impatiently watching the sheep go about their business, Ennis was boredly trekking up along across the higher hills when he heard the sound of the dog barking in the distance. He never made a noise like that unless there was some type of emergency and suddenly alert, Ennis encouraged the horse onwards and made her gallop across the prairies to the location of the sound. Despite what he had maybe contemplated beforehand though, it wasn't Jack in trouble. He was kind of glad it wasn't as, in his current state, he wouldn't have been sure what to do with him. Wincing at the thought of Jack again in his wonders, he rode closer and was immediately greeted by an awful stench. The smell of death hung in the air and penetrated everything around, depressing the atmosphere.

As Ennis drew nearer, he realised the dog was sitting beside a sheep, lying on its back on the moist grass and with its front torn apart. A horrible amount of gore crept from its insides and blood seeped over and stained its once white wool. Ennis winced as he saw it. He'd seen some animals in some pretty bad situations before in his life, having worked on many a ranch, but never like this. He guessed a coyote must have got it, hunted it down and slaughtered it violently, taking advantage of the fact that there was nobody there to protect the flock. After all, the two cowboys were, at that point, spending a night in the tent together up on the main campsite.

Ennis lowered his head in shame. He had been angry at himself for actually taking Jack in that way the evening before but he hadn't actually realised it had directly affected his job. Now he saw the evidence he wanted to be sick. Regret punctured his body and added another emotion to his ongoing list and with his heart as heavy as stone, he rode away, leaving the dog with the rest of the flock.

***

About an hour passed and sadness had now taken over Ennis. His hatred and anger had cooled a little and now he was caught between shame and woe. He and Jack had let a sheep die at the hands of a coyotes last night, just for them to get warm together in a tent on the main campsite, and he knew that, even though he never intended for that to happen at all, it was still his fault. For once, he blamed himself over and over again and unhappily rode through the lonely woods, his stomach turning.

He felt like he had been out in the fields forever that day. His legs were sore and back aching and the weather wasn't doing much to help him. Rain drizzled down constantly, making his clothes stick to his skin a little, and thunder rumbled in the distant sky every now and then, worsening his mood. He wished that the sun was shining at least, giving some hope to the otherwise miserable and horrible time he was having.

But then, as he came out of a gathering of bowing trees, their leaves dripping with moisture, he noticed somebody lying up on the hill, staring out over the vast plains. He recognised it as Jack immediately, his hat pulled over his eyes and body resting against the slightly damp grass. Ennis glanced up and before he knew what he was doing, began to ride up towards him, sliding off the horse once he was in earshot.

Jack didn't look up as he slowly sat down next to him, very unsure of himself and wondering why on earth he was doing this. Just an hour ago, he had hated Jack more than anybody else in the world. For what seemed like an age, there was silence between them, interrupted only by the mournful cry of the winds sailing all around them. Ennis gazed out across the fields from beneath his hat and hastily bit the inside of his lip, at a loss of what to do. He felt he wanted to say something to Jack, but he just didn't know what. '' This is a one shot thing we got goin' on here...'' he muttered lowly at last, not looking over at Jack. He couldn't bare to see his face.

Jack didn't reply for a while. '' It's nobody's business but ours...'' he replied after a bit, picking at strands of grass. Ennis gulped.

'' Ya know ah ain't queer...'' he said quietly.

'' Me neither.'' And silence descended again, this time broken by nothing.

TBC