Sorry everybody! You've been waiting forever, have you? I've been busy lately, sorry. I couldn't think of any ideas, and school was starting soon, I had a closet to clean out today (which I DID clean out FINALLY)... But here it is! HUNDRED thanks to Coby for the idea! Well, it was kind of a reminder instead of an idea x3 I thought of it first, but forgot. Then I asked her for ideas, and my former idea was there in her huge list! :D So here it is... ASHFUR and his feelings about Squirrelflight!
Fresh-Kill Pile
I used to love her so much.
I just wanted to
Protect her.
But she didn't
Want my protection
Want my love
Or want my embrace.
I'd sacrifice my life
For this one cat
For her
For Squirrelflight.
But she's abandoned me
She ignored me
She picked someone else
Over me.
She picked him!
Tigerstar's son,
She picked Brambleclaw
Not me!
How could she?
It was then I realized
How heartless
Squirrelflight was.
I loved her so
And I could never forget her.
Every time
I catch her gaze,
I look at her
With pleading eyes,
With love,
But she just turns away,
As if
I was just a small rustle
Of a mouse running over one dry leaf.
How could she?
I loved her so!
What was so good about him
That made her love him?
What was so
Good
About Brambleclaw?
I was so much better!
I loved her with all my heart
I'd never abandon her
I'd never engage
A fight with her!
It was then
I realized,
Not just that
This she-cat was heartless,
But I realized who she was.
To her,
Toms are just like prey
Out of a fresh-kill pile
Depending on her mood,
She'd just go
And pick one out,
Leaving other prey behind
For others to eat.
I was second in line,
To be picked...
But Squirrelflight
Just thought
She didn't want me that day,
And picked Brambleclaw.
I craved for her existence
By my side
I craved for her
To be with me.
To speak those words,
I've never heard her speak...
"I love you, Ashfur."
No one ever spoke that word to me.
To every she-cat,
Am I just
Simply
A mouse
Out of the fresh-kill pile?
Am I nothing?
As I walk toward the fresh-kill pile,
I see
That Squirrelflight
Had picked out a vole,
Brambleclaw a shrew.
There was only one prey left
On the pile,
I noticed.
A small mouse.
I sighed.
Everything in my life
Is like a fresh-kill pile now.
You take this mouse
It might taste good,
It might taste bad.
So are some choices.
If Squirrelflight hadn't
Picked that vole
Out of the fresh-kill pile,
What would that change?
The mouse might've tasted better.
The mouse might've been better for her.
The mouse
Could've been best for her.
The mouse
Would've suited her more.
But she chose that vole,
I thought
As I pad closer to the pile
That vole might've been bad for her.
She might have been happier
If she had chosen the mouse
Would she?
So that left-out mouse,
Lying there, lifeless
Could it have been better for
Squirrelflight?
Or was the vole
Destined for her
To choose?
I crouched down,
Sniffing the mouse twice.
It was wet, with molten snow
Surrounding it.
My dark blue eyes
Followed a small snowflake
As it trailed down,
Landing near
The closed eye
Of the mouse.
It melted slowly,
And I kept watching.
It seems like
I really am a mouse
In the fresh-kill pile,
I thought bitterly.
As the snowflake melted,
I thought it seemed
To be my tears
And then I really felt it.
Tears flowing down my eyes.
Angrily, I shut my eyes for moments
And picked up the mouse.
My sister Ferncloud
Padded to me.
Icepaw and Foxpaw
Were chatting to her
Happily
By her side.
At least she had love
She had kits
She had all she needed...
"Ashfur?
Are you crying?"
She asked, concerned.
I glared back at her.
"N-no,"
I choked out.
"It must be the snow that melted
On my eyes!"
Like the mouse and the snowflake,
I added silently.
"Are you sure?
Is it...
Squirrelflight again?"
Her eyes were just concerned
But I couldn't face her.
"No!" I raced away.
The mouse was still
In my jaws.
As I settled down
Near some tall boulders,
I swallowed my mouse
So bitter inside my mouth...
I turned to look at Squirrelflight
Laughing and talking with Brambleclaw.
I guess that mouse isn't as bitter
As what I felt in my heart
Right now...
I sighed as I gave the two
Another stare.
Squirrelflight glared back at me
So sharply,
I felt as if
My heart was raked by
Her claws.
At least the mouse finally had a place,
I thought suddenly
As the bitter taste faded,
And turned somewhat sweet...
Then bitterness returned.
But not me.
I'm the mouse in the fresh-kill pile
Just left behind
With no love.
Never eaten.
Never chosen.
I'm just a mouse...
To her...
Even if that mouse
Finally had a place
I still never do...
Because I'm just a mouse
A mouse in the fresh-kill pile to her!
Yes, that was what I was.
Nothing
Just nothing to her
But a little mouse
In the fresh-kill pile.
Liked that? I hope so! Poor Ashfur. I mean, I used to hate him, but now I kinda feel bad for him. Well, Squirrelflight WAS pretty picky... :) ANYHUUU! Please review! I hope you enjoyed this! A... ASHFUR plushie to Coby for the idea! Sorry, Coby XD
ANYWAYS! I shall update again very soon as an apology to ones who have been waiting!
~~Rainy