OH MY FRICKEN GOD!

IM SO SORRY! L

FINALLY! Another chapter! XD sorry to have kept everybody waiting so long, but remember.. Broken arm lol MY CAST IS FINALLY OFF!.. Well actually its been off for like.. 2 months (don't kill me ) )… but its 2am and I nothing to do… no one to talk to. So I thought "What the hell?"

And as a result… chapter 14! Yay! D

I better get a lot of reviews. (wink, wink. Nudge, nudge)

CUZ I LUV YOU ALL! 3.… anyways, I'm gonna STOP blabbing, and get on with the story! XD

PS. THANKS SO MUCH to everyone that understood. J I love you guys MORE! XD

CHAPTER 14 - Ponyboy's POV

Johnny's been walking in about out of my room all morning, cheeking on me to make sure I'm doing okay. I know he's worried about me, but I really don't feel like being around people to much. Every time he walks into my bedroom, I close my eyes and pretend to be asleep.

I'm just lying in bed, staring up at my ceiling while trying to figure out my problems. Even if its impossible to solve them.

"MORNIN' JOHNNY!" The sound of Two-bit's voice and the loud sound of the door slamming open made me jump to my feet. Which doesn't help the pain in my backside that won't leave me alone. I can't hear what there talking about from my room, but I don't care to much. The topic is about me, that's for sure. How I'm doing, how I feel… anything like that.

I walk over to my dresser, making sure I don't trip on anything Soda through on the floor earlier this morning. Opening the top drawer, I pull out the first set of clean underwear I find, and another clean shirt. I pull the sweater and t-shirt I wore to bed off of myself carefully, trying not to hurt my sore body to much in the process. The bruises covering my stomach and arms are starting to turn into a darker purple than before, and there's some blood seeping through the band-aid Johnny put on the cut on my chest. I put Darry's old sweater back on and then pulled off my PJ pants and boxers. After I made sure there was no blood in my underwear I through them into the over flowing clothes hamper, along with my t-shirt.

I couldn't find and more clean pants to wear, so I just wore Soda's old PJ's again, and thanked god they covered the ugly scratches and bruises on my thighs. I was about to walk out the bedroom door when I remembered Johnny's blade under my mattress. It made me feel better before I thought. So I reached my hand under the mattress, and pulled out the knife, holding it tightly in my hand. I tucked it in the elastic in my pants, so Tow-bit and Johnny wouldn't see it, and made my way slowly out into the hallway.

Dallas was passed out on the couch, sporting a new black eye and bruised knuckles. Mickey mouse was doing a good job keeping Two-bit minding his own business and neither of them noticed me as I tip-toed over to the bathroom door.

"Good morning Pony." Said Johnny, coming up behind me and placing a hand on my shoulder. I couldn't help it and I flinched causing Johnny to take his hand away in surprise.

"Where you going Pone?" He asked me when he received no answer. I couldn't look at him in the eyes and tried to focus on a spot on the floor. I felt like his eyes were drilling big hole right through my head.

"Havin' a shower." I mumble so quietly I'm surprised he even heard me.

"Just call if you need anything." He told me while I backed up into the bathroom. I felt like Johnny knew what I was going to do. Like he knew I had his knife and didn't plan on givin' it back anytime soon. I shut and locked the door behind me, and quickly turned on the shower so at least it sounded like I wasn't lying.

I walked over to the toilet and closed the lid, then took the blade in my hand. It felt heavy and cold, but somehow comforting at the same time. I pulled down my pants with my free hand and sat down on the toilet, then pulled up the bottom of my boxers. I started at the flesh on my leg, and the bruises and scratches made by the Socs. Memories started filling my head, and with that came there voices again. I could taste the beer they we're drinking in my mouth and feel there hot breath on my neck.

I started shaking and tightened the hold on the blade, my knuckles turning white as I flipped it open. The shinny blade flickered in the light as I moved it toward my leg. I pressed it into the tender flesh slowly as more memories flashed across my mind. I dragged it lightly up my leg and fought to control my feelings. Images from yesterday keep leaking into my mind, and I felt tears of shame and disgust making their way outta my eyes.

I pressed the blade further into my skin, and tried to focus on the pain instead of the memories. I felt like I disserved this. I should' a never let anything happen in the first place, and defiantly not the second time. But what made it worse was I enjoyed it. I mean I didn't… but my body did, and I let everyone find out. They hated me. The Socs hated me… and I hated me.

SOOO!… what'd ya think? Sucks don't it? :p

Oh well.. I'm just trying to get back in the grove of writing this beast. )

ANYWAYS… I'll promise chapter 15 won't take as long to get up :p

I've just went through 3 boyfriends in 4 months… and I kinda sucks… because I still like all of them :p

But the one I got now is like… god ) lmao

WELL… I'm annoying so I'll go.

HOPED YOU LIKED IT! )

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