Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight; it is the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are mine. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter three

Crossing divides

BPOV

I continued down the hallway, making it to the stairs before I felt like running. Pretty impressive considering this could end up hurting someone quite badly. What can I say I'm a chicken when it comes to familial conflicts or my own personal mental family. I slowly made my way down the stairs very aware that they could hear my very heart beat; it was going nuts so this was sure to be fantastic. Turning the corner I looked into the room and saw a very confused Edward lost in thought and a very worried family gathered around him. I had caused this guilt and pain bloomed in my heart, I was too attached to this family, much too attached. Jasper looked from me to his brother and tried to find a connection to whatever it was his gift was.

He's an empath. He has sense and probably can control the emotions in the room. He can feel your guilt and so knows that you caused Edward's reaction. Whatever that may be he just seemed confused to me. Alastor explained to me while I tried to come up with a way to explain this. To make it better, that I meant no harm and to apologise for hurting him. Tears streaked my face as I tried to think of a way to make this better. Joe's pain was leaking to me and I was beginning to fall apart. I felt a wave of calm hit me but this pain was not my own and so it did nothing but take my emotions and leave me with Josephine's. My tears fell faster and I began to gasp.

I'm sorry.... it hurts to know that he did not have his life and that I have hurt him. Please let him forgive me. Joe pleaded to me, though she knew I couldn't speak. I felt hands encircle my waist and hold me as I fell to my knees. Wave after wave of calm splashed around me but I could not take them into myself. My breathing was getting rapid enough that I might pass out. As the pain slowly began to lighten I realised that Alastor had taken Josephine away. I began to look for her but I was being held in someone's arms. Looking up into very concerned eyes, I relaxed into Jasper and the calm the he exuded. I was sure he felt my gratitude, but I smiled up at him anyway.

He guided me to the sofa and Esme brought me a glass of water, I blushed and felt horrible for distracting them from Edward. I looked over at him and his eyes caught mine and I stare into him, I couldn't help it. I had to know if he was okay, I was worried but it seemed to be over me. I tried to smile at him and failed horribly, but he seemed to understand.

"I am fine. Are you alright Bella?" He asked his concern was genuine so I nodded my head still embarrassed at my little scene earlier. With that thought I remembered Joe, I once again went to look for her but this time Carlisle held me back from my task.

"Bella has this sort of thing ever happened to you before?" he asked in a calm professional voice, I sat back as he knelt in front of me. I thought on that for a moment, I nodded; yes this has happened before usually when another was added to my own. They became apart of me and so their pain became my own, but Joe was not new. This was old pain newly felt with guilt and agony at the thought of him losing his dreams and mortal life. His soul, I knew that was the center of most of her pain, that he had lost his soul. "Are there any lasting affect after such an episode?" Carlisle asked once again pulling my attention away from Joe. I shook my head, I just needed to find her and console her and it wouldn't happen again. But how was I to do that, she believed him damned?

Another wave of calm washed over me as I felt the despair press against me. I needed to find Joe; I pushed up from the couch and moved to the wall of glass looking for where Alastor had moved Joe too. I could feel their eyes on me but she was more important to me right now, she was in pain. Where are you? I asked knowing someone would tell me. I felt Edward move to me as if I had asked where he was, it made me smile that he would try to answer my question.

She is by the stream. Will answered as he approached the house, give her time Bella. She is not ready to speak about this new and heartbreaking loss. I nodded solemn and pained by the depth of her hurt. How could she think him damn when he seemed to be perfectly fine to me.

I will I replied softly turning to Edward I looked into his eyes, You are not damned. I gave him a hug and at first he was shocked by my hug then his arms wrapped around my back. He is so kind, how could he be damn, I know that devils can be beautiful but why then would they care for others as they do. There is no profit in befriending a lost youth. It was odd to touch another person that was so new to me, but it felt right so I did not pull away until he did. I looked up at him and smiled softly. It was too easy to get lost in his eyes, I found myself breaking old rules and staring into them.

"Are you alright?" he asked his voice low, I nodded and walked to the couch and sat once again planning of how to tell them the truth. I gave in and decided that it could wait for another time, I was a coward. I had hurt them let them begin this. "What happened earlier? Did me leaving you upstairs cause it?" his voice was soft but held guilt and responsibility. I shook my head it wasn't my pain. I looked at my hands and tried to find the words, the will to explain to them how much I had come to care for a family I had known but one day. I was unable to in the end but I knew Jasper had sensed my feelings and felt a bit better that at least he could tell them.

"I am sorry to have caused you pain." I whispered simply. My voice was still rough from the lack of use, but I knew they all had heard me clearly. I could feel tears trailing down my face yet again. They were shocked to hear my voice and yet I could feel the joy from Esme and Carlisle and perhaps Edward and Alice. Jasper wiped away my tears as Esme knelled in front of me taking my hands.

"You have not caused any pain my dear. Edward was merely startled by something." She replied gently though I knew better then to believe I was comforted by the effort. I shook my head, I knew I had hurt him, though it was indirect and without intention. I realised I had brought the picture down with me and moved to go and get it but Edward had notice my gaze resting on the item and brought it to me before I could even move to stand. He placed it in my hands and sat beside me as Jasper moved over. I pointed to Josephine's face in the right corner, I looked at him and waited for him to realise I knew he knew her as my throat had gone dry.

"How could you... Did you?..." babbled in disbelief. I nodded slightly and knew that in some way he understood that I was different, very different from most people. She told me. I told him simply.

You really aught to tell them allowed, so they can all hear. This came from Alastor as he re-entered the room. I nodded to him and began to try to tell them, when Edward looked at me and seemed to realise something much more.

"You know that I can read your mind!" he exclaimed truly shocked. I looked down and nodded yet again, could not speak passed the large lump in my throat and so stopped trying. Jasper sent a wave of calm though this time it was much less affective, I turned and smiled at him but tears ran down my cheeks ruining the small smile. He looked surprised that I would turn to him. "You seem to know everything." Edward said this time suspicion clear in his velvet voice; I was now a potential enemy. My heart fell as they reacted just as I feared. I was a threat something to be removed and disposed of.

"Edward!" Alice yelled hitting him across the back of head, judging by the sound. "You're hurting her!" I wanted to laugh at how she had said something so normal in this odd situation but I couldn't find the will to even try to smile. I let the tears run down my face and tried to pull myself into my own agony and forget the world, but Jasper sent a wave of calm at me and I failed. I sat there in a hell I had no idea would come for me.

Bella I heard many voices call, I looked to see my family coming towards me with varying expressions of worry. The collective what's wrong rang in my head. I smiled at this my family cared, if nothing else I had them. Even if I could never hug them or touch them I had them with me always. It was nice and painful but I managed to push myself up and deal with the situation around me.

I am sorry to have hurt you Edward. It was not my intention; I did not know what or who you were. Not until I arrived and was told. Forgive me. I can leave tonight if you wish. I apologised to Edward while trying to push myself up off the couch. I managed to move a few steps away before my strength gave out and I fell to my knees. It did not matter to me that my tears blinded me or that I hurt intensely all that mattered was not hurting him or his family. I felt someone knell down beside me and wrap their arms around me, how I craved this contact. But it was not what I could have, I struggled to get free. Please let go.... please, please.... let go. I begged as more tears fell from my eyes. I couldn't feel anything but the strength of the arms that held me.

"I am sorry that I hurt you, I didn't mean to accuse you of anything." Edward said this as he knelt in front of me, I could see his blurry face as he lifted my face to look at him. He wiped away my tears as he spoke. I wanted so badly for his words to be true but I knew I have damaged if not completely destroyed any chance I had to stay. They had to think I was absolutely nuts at this point.

"Hey none of that." Jasper said, apparently he was the one holding me. I tried to calm down but it only seemed to make the tears come faster then before. I wanted to stay here with them so badly that it was being to hurt me. In some part of my mind that I was still struggling to get away from the cold arms that held me and that I was hurting myself but it made no bearing on my efforts.

"Bella listen to me you need to calm down, your going to hurt yourself." Carlisle added to the voices wishing me comfort, I finally stopped even trying to get out of Jasper's arms. Esme and Carlisle appeared behind Edward in front of me. I felt like a blubbering idiot and a burden, my flash of self-hatred managed to stem the tears but did nothing to calm me. I could only imagine them trying to be kind to the pathetic human in their home.

"I'm going to let you go okay? No more trying to leave." Jasper whispered this in my ear and I was thankful for his tact. His arms slowly loosened around me and finally vanished. I felt the absence keenly and did my best to hide my despair. "It's nice to know you like me." He said taking hold of my hand and sending me waves of calm. I was so grateful to him for his kindness and ability to control my outbursts. I could hear all of my family echoing kind words and knew that they longed to be able to hold me. Looking up and out I looked at each one of them and we shared the knowledge that I wanted that just as much as they did.

Carlisle checked to make sure that I had not hurt myself while struggling in Jasper's arms. I had bruised myself but there was no permanent damage. I sat there and waited for my voice to return to apologise for the random outbursts. Esme sat beside me and put her arm around me humming a soft melody that was very comforting I found myself leaning into her. Alastor pulled me back from near sleep but moments later.

They need to know Bella, I know you're tired and this has taken a lot from you but this needs to be addressed. They need to understand. I nodded and opened my eyes to the room in which I sat cradled by Esme. Jasper had his arms around Alice but both were looking at me and Esme, Carlisle was sitting in the chair closest to Esme with his eyes on her and Edward was sitting on top of the coffee table looking at nothing really. It was odd the room was actually pretty happy, no more contented. Edward's eyes found mine as I opened my mouth to begin to explain this night to them.

"I am..." was as far as I got before Edward and Jasper started to laugh. I was confused but enjoyed the sound of their laughter too much to mind the interruption.

"If you apologise one more time Bella..." Edward said allowing his voice to trail off a smile brightening his words. I smiled at his apparent happiness. I nodded slightly and realised that everyone had a smile on their face odd.

"Okay." I replied, "I just want to try and explain how this is... as it is." The words wouldn't come to me as I tried to straighten out my mind. "I'm not exactly normal." At this everyone burst into laughter, it was a rather obvious statement and yet I could find no better words to begin with. Alice's laughter matched Jasper's, bass and soprano, as did Carlisle and Esme's though in a completely different way more like the same note held by two voices. Edward's was music to me, beautiful and it matched him perfectly. I listened to their laughter until finally it ended. "Glad to be a source of laughter." I said in a light happy voice, finally it began to behave as though I spoke more then once a year. It was smiles all around at that comment; they could tell I meant it. "I am not alone in life; I carry my family with me. Well no, I carry the family that has found me within me." I stated looking at them as I said this, they smiled at me and I smile at them.

"I'm not sure we understand you Bella." Edward said softly, I nodded and tried to explain it more simply.

"I have no biological family that lives. But I have met... people that have become my family. They vary greatly in age and race but they each sought to find me... after they died." I finished not sure where to look as they reacted to my words. I cast my eyes to the ground and waited.

"You mean to say that you see dead people?" Jasper asked this question with a light tone, I could only nod. I hated to think that they would mock me in this, but it is a hard fact to believe.

"Just as you are vampires, my family is dead and they visible and audible only to me." I said my tone harsher then I had intended. I hate to be mocked about something important to me. My statement got their attention and made them consider the plausibility of my statement.

"You know this?" Carlisle asked me very gently but I could hear the curiosity in his voice.

"Yes, Alastor told me when he first realised what you were. Not the nicest thing to say outright to a human but he believed and confirms that you don't harm humans, you drink animal blood. Just as Josephine told me that she knew Edward." I confirmed. Edward's went wide when I mentioned her name. Jasper must have thought something then because Edward's head spun to look at him. "Oh, you must have felt my panic, sorry." I looked at Jasper and he merely rolled his eyes. "Joe's pain must have been uncomfortable... could you feel it?"I asked curious if he had felt it, he seemed to contemplate his answer.

"I'm not sure, maybe I only felt what you felt. But then is your family in this room with us?" he pondered, I nodded that they were and he smiled. "Well I guess that is a yes I can feel them though only around you, it's as if it all comes from you." He said intrigued by his own logic. I guess it would make sense that anything they 'sensed' of my family would come from me. They are a part of me after all, I gazed at them happy in the knowledge that we're one.

That's a nice thought. Mary said getting nods from most others.

Of course we are one, both in essence and in truth. This from surprisingly John, he never said much but has always felt deeply that we are a true family. I smiled at him and he nodded and blushed slightly. I could tell that the Cullens realised I was talking to others.

"Who is Alastor?" asked Carlisle who seemed to be lost in thought. I smiled.

"The first to join my family and the eldest be a landslide. He is a vampire." I said my eyes lingering on him, he found me when I was no more then 4 and saved me from certain death. It is probably through our bond that I have survived most of my life. Alastor bowed to me and soon the family dispersed, most to check on poor Joe, I giggled at Alastor and waved goodbye. "Their going to give us some privacy while I answer your questions, though I think most just want to comfort Joe." I said to explain my wave. I let my head fall to Esme's shoulder tired of holding it up and for the comfort she brought. I could tell that she was happy to have me so comfortable with her, as Carlisle smile grew as my head fell.

"Have you ever considered that..." Jasper started and stopped half way through. I smiled as I thought about this silly question of sanity.

"You mean have I ever considered that I was nuts? Yup, every other day! But the evidence kinda points in the other direction." I said laughing; it was nice to have that sorted out. "Either this is real or nothing in life is real, don't really mind either way." I said shrugging; it was a simple truth that kept going. He smiles at my ease with the question.

"So your nuts or this is one giant dream?" Edward summed up, I smiled at that.

"Pretty much." I said amused by his amusement. He shook his head at me but I could tell it was just a funny way to look at life, well to him at least.

"Weirdo." Alice stated with a grin on her face. "I mean really I see the future in visions but dead people in constant delusions is just too much." She said her tone completely serious. I laughed at her until my eyes blurred from tears.

"Well I guess we can't be sisters then." I said once I managed to get myself deadpan. She giggled at this nearly setting me off again.

"Good I didn't want you for a sister anyway!" she said barely able to contain her laughter before she finished. We were both laughing like hyenas once she finished, everyone joined us after a moment. Esme wiped the tears that streamed down my face once we had finished laughing. I just beamed up at her unable to move and trying to catch my breath. Dang vampires recovered much too quickly from laugh attacks. Her face was filled with joy as she looked down at me.

"I didn't even do that!" Jasper said in mock surprise, I smiled and managed to roll over onto my stomach to look at him.

"Course not. The insanity of tonight led to the point where only hysterical laughter at something amusing could cure." I replied, just happy to know that I hadn't messed everything up. "Ugh, I feel like I've been hit by a bus." I said dropping my head to the ground. I heard a few chuckles and then cold arms picking me up. My eyes shot open, it was Jasper that had picked me up. "If you keep holding me I might not want you to ever let go." I said sadness filling my voice at the end. He looked down at me. "My family can't physically touch me, ever." I explained softly. Esme was at my side instantly kissing me on the forehead.

"Well then we'll just have to make up for that, won't we!" she said looking in my eyes. I looked directly back at her and she gasped slightly, I wiggle so that I could give her a hug. She looked sad and it seemed the right action to take. I was surprised when my eyes had met hers, but I realised quickly that this place had already become home, and they were apart of my family.