And on the bridge of the Enterprise.....
Sulu sat at the helm. He was a major slacker and hardly ever did anything. And he got away with it, too, because he was Asian and the white-eyed devils would never catch him.
"Chekov! Where are we?" asked Kirk, collapsing in his command chair. The freakishly unattractive Russian checked the nav board.
"We arwe curwently trwaveling at one-half impulse power towawd planet Eawth, Siw, as you owdewed."
"Excellent!" Kirk said, clapping his hands together and rubbing them. "Hey, Yeoman Rand,
guess why we're going back to Vegas-I mean Earth?"
"Why, Sir?"
"So I can pick up some hookers, beat the shit out of them, and leave them on the roadside somewhere! Woof!" he said, and spanked her on the ass. Yeoman Rand rolled her eyes.
"Captain..." she said patronizingly. He began to spin around in the command chair.
"Finally! Free to be the real me, without Spock here to kill my libido. This is great!"
Everyone else worked diligently at the consoles, except, of course, for Sulu, who was playing Spider Solitaire.
"Sir, are you going to notify Starfleet of Spock's disappearance?" asked Uhura. Kirk spun slowly to face her.
"No."
"Oh. Why not?"
"Because the game is afoot!" yelled McCoy over the intercom.