Edera Velenosa ('poison ivy')
10K
2: Stand and Deliver
Okay, so it had probably been one of his less than intelligent choices all things considered, but it was fine, really. He was fairly sure of all people Salvatore wouldn't turn them in for sodomy just because he walked in on them…um…occupied, so to speak. Yes, he was certain the man wouldn't divulge their clandestine meetings based on some overly Catholic sense of righteousness. He was less sure the man wouldn't turn them in for screwing around in his den, on his ornately carved oaken desk, with his paperwork to the Cardinalé that had to be delivered by tomorrow at seven in the fridged morning scattered under them.
The only reason he knew this of course was because it was his job to turn them in and at this precise moment, they were pretty much stuck to Tancredo's ass. And a very lovely, handful of flushed and sweat slicked ass it was, although he personally thought that Salvatore's answer of throwing the small tabletop globe at them might be a bit over kill. Still, they probably could have found a more 'appropriate' place as Tan said, but hey, the mood had hit him and damn if he wasn't a man who listened to his inner muses. They'd saved him more than once after all.
He still couldn't figure out how come Salvatore never threw anything at Tancredo though. Somehow he was always the focal point for the blonde's perfect aim with small books, candlesticks, and even a nightstand or two, which really hurt God damn it! Really, he was starting to get a complex about the whole situation. Take right this second: he was half out of his drawers, shirt barely covering his dangling pride and hopping back and forth while simultaneously trying to lace the codpiece and pull his jerkin over his head. Thank God he didn't have long hair like Tan.
A few choice words at the irate blonde and some furtive casting of 'please help' looks at the patiently re-dressing man still sitting, he might add, on the rumpled documents, like everything was completely fine.
"Holy Mother, Sal! It's not like you've never walked in on us before! And how come it's only me?! Why don't you try chucking an encyclopedia at Tancredo every once and a while, you know, for sport?!" he cried out indignantly, ducking said encyclopedia.
"Because you're the degenerate that dragged him down to this level to begin with! Tancredo wouldn't have been stupid enough to fuck around like a mongrel in heat on my desk without you nipping at his heels!" a throbbing vein thumped angrily over Salvatore's right temple as he threw another book, Capo Fero, a decidedly thick treatise on the science of the rapier, at his head. He ducked, eyes closing unconsciously, screwed shut with the knowledge that this one would most assuredly leave him seeing stars.
It was almost like God had descended and struck them all deaf with his lightning a second later as Tancredo was suddenly in front of him defensively, catapulted book held tightly in his hand, a small frown pulling on his lips.
"I was still reading that, Salvatore. We'll tidy up in here, so why don't you just go back to Giuseppe and your chess match?" It always amazed him how Tancredo could diffuse any situation effortlessly. It also terrified him; he needed to remember never to cross the man. Ever. Strategists were the scariest sort of lovers.
Salvatore turned on his heel, his bare toes sinking into the plush gold of the laurel leaf patterned floor rug. Pausing by the door he shot a scathing look at Kallai, "Don't let me catch you two in here again. You'll scar the kid." He hissed before stalking off down the hall, the heavy oak paneled door bouncing in its frame in is wake.
He opened his mouth to say something, anything, because he was sure there was a completely inappropriate joke in there somewhere, but he couldn't think of anything. Of course that might have had something to do with Tan's skilled fingers re-undoing the lacing of his britches or his tongue half down his throat, but you'd never catch him complaining. He just did as his master commanded. That's what a loyal dog did after all.
~Fin.