KILL THE EMPIRE here again, writing another chapter of our story, woohoo! Where we last left off, Yoshi lost to Zelda, an investigation team was created, and poor Yoshi croaked (literally, to my understanding), so what shall happen next?
Roy continued to stumble down the hall, clutching to walls and various other objects. Why does this pain in my head keep coming back? Gah! He bent over to forcibly coughed up blood. It landed on the floor and made a small splat. What is this blood?
The blood began to twitch a few times, and splashed when an onyx colored boot stomped down on the pile. Roy looked up in blurs to see a man. Pale, wrinkled, sadness in his eyes. The man looked down upon him with a frown. He wore jet black jeans, a logo-less black shirt, and a long, black trench coat that leered all the way to his feet. His own body was as pale as a night at a grave yard. He was tall, stood up straight, and very bony. His greasy jet black hair grew all the way down to his back. His face…Roy realized his face to be he same as the man he saw in the mirror before loosing consciousness the first time.
"Now, now, child. It'll all be over soon." He said in a raspy voice. There was a sign of cold laughter in his voice.
"You, you're that man, the one in the mirror."
The man's voice was slow, and cold. His chipped lips gave out a small cracked smile. "Yes, Roy, we have met a few days ago."
"Who are you?" Roy muttered, the pain in his head held him back from screaming. "And what do you want with me?"
"Oh, where are my manners?" His raspy voice became louder. "I go by the name of Sergio."
Roy's heart skipped a few beats as he shot down to the ground, coughing up more blood, like it was a reflex. Sergio's right eye raised at the sight of this.
"Aww, my friend, you don't look so well." Sergio's raspy voice rang in Roy's ears. IT became high pitch, making Roy's ears feel they will split open any second. "I sense your tremendous pain…A wonderful feeling it is."
Sergio cracked up into a high pitched laughter. Roy could only sit there, trembling his hands as more blood was spontaneously thrown on them. The mere presence of this man caused him great pain and conflict, and he could do nothing.
"What a pity, but fear not, the fool had the smashers released from their cells. He seems to be a little suspicious, he must be eliminated."
Roy's eyes shot open. This man…Is he the one killing everybody?
Sergio continued to laugh as he glared down at Roy. It was as if he was reading his mind. Roy tried to stand, but some unknown presence forced him to stay on the ground. Who is this so called fool he is after? Is it Albrecht? Or someone else? Why am I sitting here? Why am I not fighting him? Or running? Why will my body not respond to me?
Sergio saw Roy's struggle, and slowly ceased his laughter, but continued to hold his cold grin. "The strings are slowly attaching, you cannot fight it. The more you fight, the greater the pain."
"W-Why are you doing this? Why are you murdering everybody?" Roy's teeth were clenched, but he managed to throw the words out. Sergio's right eye brow raised.
"What do you mean child, I am not your killer. I have never killed anybody in this tournament. I am, by no means, a murderer." Sergio said in his raspy voice. "But, I do know who your killer is."
"W-Will you tell me? Or at least help me?" Roy asked.
"All I need is your body, dear child. And do not worry, once the strings finish attaching, the pain shall cease." Sergio began to crack up laughing.
Roy began to twitch, everything began to become a blur, and soon, the light faded. The last thing Roy heard, was Sergio's message: "Everything is ready. Now, it's time to play your part…"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bowser, Mario, Nana, Popo, and Fox all gasped as Bowser's hand slipped through the screen of white. Bowser lost his balance and took a heavy fall through the area. The investigation team just stood as they saw Bowser fly through the white screen. They all gasped when he cries of Bowser were unleashed with great force.
Fox was the first to jump through the white screen to see what was wrong. He gasped when he landed on the hard metallic tile. Bowser was on his hands and knees, very shaken up. Fox looked around the environment. It was a sort of dungeon, yet, a huge room. All metallic and gray, lit via halogen lighting, with green spots splattered on the walls.
"Wow, this place is creepy." Fox said as he continued to look around the prison like area. "But no need to scream, unless you're scared THAT easily."
Bowser lifted a shaky finger and pointed at a skeleton hung by chains. Nana fainted at the sight, which caught Mario's attention.
"Nana!" Popo screamed as he looked down at the unconscious girl. "I'm sorry guys, but with my sister in this condition, I cannot continue to investigate with ya'll, besides, tomorrow I have a match with Pikachu."
Mario and Fox nodded as Bowser could only stare blankly at the skeleton. Popo was soon on his way out of the dungeon, walking through the white screen whilst carrying his sister. Bowser stood up, and the three began their exploration of the dungeon.
Soon a ghastly aroma filled Fox's nostrils. He instantly grabbed his nose and made grunting sounds.
"Guys." He called out. Bowser and Mario looked up. "Something's not right. My nose is burning like hell, I think there's something in here."
"Yeah, we can see the skeletons." Mario commented. Fox shook his head.
"No, something else, something that seemed like it just died." Fox looked around. "It smells like tainted blood and vomit."
Bowser lifted his finger. "You know, that fox there has a pretty good nose…" He looked around and noticed as lump.
Mario noticed it too and ran over to investigate, while Bowser hovered over Fox, who continued to cover his nose. Fox got used to the stench, right before an ear splitting scream was heard. Fox and Bowser knew that to be Mario's scream, and ran over to see what was wrong.
The two ran over to the lump and gasped as Mario's mouth was open wide. There on the ground, covered in blood and vomit, lied Mario's own brother, Luigi. His sad expression told the three he did not have a happy ending.
"Luigi!" Mario shouted as he jumped down over the corpse. "How did this happen!"
"He must have been beaten horribly." Bowser.
Fox's nose twitched as he realized the truth. "Guys, we must leave!"
"Why?" Bowser asked.
"I realize what happened. There is gas in the air, and it's quite fatal form the strong odor it gives off." Fox called out.
"Umm Fox, I don't smell anything." Bowser pointed out.
"Toxic gas has no odor, but my nose is stronger then the average human, I can smell it." Fox bent down to look at Luigi. "Hmm, It appears he took quite a fall, cause notice the spine is bent out of shape. And apparently from the looks of things, he was unable to move, and thus, breathed too much of the gas."
"So he suffocated from toxic gas." Bowser guessed.
"Worse, from the looks of it, it looks as if he asphyxiated."
Mario gasped, and soon his mouth was swelled up.
"Holding your breath won't do good, it's best to get out of here before anything happens-"
Fox's statement was interrupted by extremely heavy breathing coming from Bowser.
"Oh dear lord!" Mario screamed as Bowser began to role over, breathing heavily.
"Stage one, he's asphyxiating!" Fox shouted. "Hurry, we must get him out of here!"
"No…..Guys…..It's asthma." Bowser said in between heavy breaths.
"It doesn't matter, his gas is setting off your asthma!" Fox said. He grabbed Bowser's arms and began to pull, but he didn't even move an inch. "Damn!"
"Fox, I don't think that's asthma, his pulse his beating furiously." Mario said. Fox swore and tried harder to pull. "Move aside, I've done this before, watch."
Mario grabbed a hold of Bowser's tail, and began to spin around slowly. Fox pondered at this until Bowser took flight and was soon spinning around in Mario's arms as if he was the propeller of some sort of helicopter.
After a few more spins, Bowser was hurled through the air, and landed through the white screen. Fox slapped his head as he muttered "Not exactly the way I would of done it, but what ever works."
Bowser landed hard on his shell as he laid in the Doctor Mario's office. Mario and Fox rushed out of the white screen and stopped.
"We must tell everybody about this." Fox said after Bowser stood up. He looked over at Mario. "Mario, I'm terribly sorry about your brother."
Mario sighed. "It hurts, but we have very important things on our minds, this may sound heartless, but I must worry about my brother some other time."
"We must tell Master Hand." Fox said. Bowser stomped his feet.
"We can't do that, he'll only take the credit of finding that….What ever that place was!" Bowser exclaimed.
"Personally, I don't give a damn whether he takes credit or not, I just want this guy caught!" Fox announced.
"Yeah, maybe we shouldn't do this." Mario said. "We could get killed. And who knows, maybe one of us is the murderer."
The three looked at each other, then at Bowser. Bowser sighed.
"Fine, we'll tell Master Hand, even though I think it be better if we tell Albrecht, or what ever his name was." Bowser said as he made his way out of the room. The other two followed him through the hallways until they were face to face with Zelda.
"Hey guys, how's the investigation doing?" Zelda asked. She looked at the three and gave a confused look. "Where's Popo and Nana?"
"They uhh…Decided to rest up and prepare for their match tomorrow." Mario lied. Bowser sighed, he was sickened that Mario could easily lie like that in such a harsh time. "So how was your match?"
"It was tough, but I barely made it." Zelda sighed in relief. "Man, who would of known a baby dinosaur with short arms could fight like that?"
"Well I'm glad you won, but we must now speak with Master Hand." Fox said.
Zelda gasped. "What? But what happened to the whole 'he's just trying to look good' stuff?"
Bowser sighed, he knew he had to do it. "Zelda, we found Luigi."
"Well that's great. Where was he?" Zelda asked.
"He's dead." Fox said. Mario began to cough a little. Zelda gasped yet again. "It wasn't pretty either."
"The killer struck again." Bowser sighed.
"Oh, dear lord, no." Zelda said with a wide gap in her mouth. "How did he die?"
"I told you, it wasn't pretty." Fox said. "We just found him."
"Guys, I don't mind, I can bare it." Mario shouted out. "Just say it, she needs to know."
Fox sighed as he laid his hands on Zelda's shoulders. "Zelda, we found Luigi covered in blood and vomit."
"What!" Zelda shrieked. "How did he die!"
"After examining him, and the place he died in, it shows he asphyxiated, and it also showed he was dead for quite a few days." Mario said.
Zelda gave a look of confusion. "What is that?"
"A very, very, VERY bad form of strangling." Bowser said.
"Oh…" Zelda just coughed a few times.
"Come on guys, we must find Master Hand right away." Fox said.
"Hey, wait a sec, who died and made you leader? I'm still here!" Bowser growled.
"I thought you were cool with the idea." Mario said.
"I changed my mind, I say we keep investigating." Bowser stepped forth and growled.
"Bowser, this guy intends to kill us all, and if you haven't noticed, he's not stupid, and he's very insane about it!" Fox stepped out and spoke. "We must let Master Hand know about this. Besides, he must know Luigi died."
"But what about that gas chamber?" Bowser asked.
"What gas chamber?" Zelda was not only confused, but pretty scared not.
"It's where we found Luigi." Fox said. "He looked as if he was killed a few days ago, after losing to-…."
Fox gasped at the mere thought, he had figured it out. He then turned to Zelda, mouth opened wide. "Zelda, you said you won the match right?"
"Umm….Yes, why?"
"Where's Yoshi?" Fox asked.
"I don't know." Zelda said. "He didn't come back from the match. It was as if he disa-" Zelda let out a huge gasp. Fox nodded to confirm it while Mario and Bowser sat there, confused.
"Hmm, the white screen, Luigi's disappearance, and now Yoshi's…Hmm, You think the warp points have something to do with this?" Fox asked. "Maybe someone messed with the warp zones."
"Wait, what are you talking about, Fox?" Bowser asked.
"Don't you get it?" said Fox. "There's a pattern! Notice the people who have been loosing were the ones getting killed? The murderer is killing the ones who lose in the tournament, and they're probably using the warp points to warp them into their own little room specially made for killing them!"
"So who controls the warp points for when you loose in the battles?" Bowser asked.
"Master Hand does." Fox said. The others gasped.
"So you mean?" Zelda croaked.
"Yes," Fox confirmed. "Master Hand could be the murderer."
"So what do we do?" Mario asked.
"We find a way to corner Master Hand, or we can tell Albrecht." Fox said.
"Wait just one damn second! I'm the leader here, and my decision is final!" Bowser screamed. "And I say we find a way to get evidence against Master Hand and stop him!"
"Wait, what about the ones who appeared after loosing?" Mario exclaimed. "They were murdered somewhere else, and not warped!"
"Hmm…Well, Master Hand could be using that because if too many people are warped to their execution sites, everyone will suspect him, so of course he has to make a few occasions."
The four nodded and made their way down the hall to try and find a way of stopping Master Hand.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Isolde continued to stare at the trio as they glanced at her back. "Is there something on my face?"
"No, it's just…Weird you showing up at a time like this." Falco said.
"Yeah, what, with the killings and all-" Ness started, but was soon slapped by Falco.
Isolde gasped. "Killings?"
"Oh, he was joking." Falco chuckled. "I mean it's weird of you to show up right in the middle of the tournament."
"Oh, well who's winning?" She asked.
"Nobody, it's still in round one." Falco said. "Tomorrow, it will be the Ice Climbers and Pikachu."
"Climbers?" Isolde gave a puzzled look of confusion. "Isn't it one versus one?"
"The Ice Climbers counted as two people due to he fact they're twins and some other miscellaneous things." Falco chuckled.
"Oh…" Isolde felt embarrassed, she knew nothing of this tournament, only that her dad didn't want her to go. But she went anyways, she was just curious. "So when are you fighting?"
"Oh, I'm fighting after the ice climbers and Pikachu's match." Falco said. "I'm going against Mario.
"You mean THE Super Mario?" Isolde asked in awe. "Aren't you scared?"
"I can take him, while the Italian plumber jumps around, I actually go in my Arwing and shoot things." Falco assured Isolde of him being fine. "My ship could take the guy's mushroom?"
Isolde gasped. "You ride in a ship?"
Falco chuckled. "Yep, and it goes very fast, maybe you can ride in it some day."
"Oh cool!" Isolde's eyes twinkled at Falco's. Peach and Ness giggled at the moment, apparently Falco hitting on her was funny to them.
Ganondorf sighed at himself. "Damnet," he said to himself. "Why the hell does Master Hand persist on keeping this tournament running? He's not even doing a damn thing, and everybody around us are getting murdered!"
Ganondorf's anger caused him to punch a picture of Albrecht. His fist went through the frame and landed on…Nothing…
"Huh?" Ganondorf realized there was no wall to meet his angered fist, only air. "That's weird."
He tore the frame off and saw a white screen. "What's this?"
An eerie feeling came over him, he tried o ignore it, but failed. After pondering it, he decided to walk through the screen, only to find him in a type of control room.
"What is this place?" Ganondorf looked around. It was all gray cement, and a tile with many buttons, levers, and switches all laid out in front of a shield of glass. Ganondorf looked at the glass. It was full of a type of red liquid that gave out a foul odor. "What is that?"
Ganondorf examined the controls. One set of buttons had the names of the stages embroiled on them. He looked around, only to find nothing available, soon a solution came to him.
"Perhaps this is the control room." Ganondorf chuckled at his own solution, but what was that smell? Perhaps the red liquid? "What is that stuff, anyway?"
Ganondorf leaned closer towards the screen in awe. The red bubbles making their way up, quite a site. A huge crash was heard, which made Ganondorf jump. He looked at the glass and screamed at the site. Inside the glass, a green figured floated around, just, floating.
It looked as if it just died, and continued to float around the box, the figure looked allot like…
"YOSHI!" Ganondorf screamed. He backed up a few steps in fear. "WHAT IS THIS!"
Yoshi's corpse continued to drag itself around the glassed area. "If that's Yoshi's corpse, then that liquid must be….OH DEAR LORD!"
Ganondorf ran through the screen and out of the hallway as fast as he could, leaving the frame of Albrecht on the floor with it's hole punctured in it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marth, Link, and Captain Falcon gasped at Roy's unconscious body.
"Is he dead?" Marth asked. Captain Falcon bent down to check the boy's pulse.
"No, he's alive, but in a bad condition." He looked over at the blood surrounding him. "That's weird, there are no marks on him, no sign of a struggle, nothing."
"How can that be possible?" Link asked. "It's not like people just stop and bleed themselves unconscious out of the blue."
"Maybe he's sick?" Marth asked.
"With what?" Captain Falcon asked.
"Ebola perhaps?" Marth blurted out.
"Marth, that stuff is only in Africa, there is no Ebola around this area." Link said.
"How can you be sure?" Marth asked. "I mean for all we know, Captain Falcon could have it now from touching Roy's body."
"Really…" Captain Falcon went over and touched Marth. "Now you have Ebola."
Marth screamed, but was soon restrained by Link.
"Look, nobody has Ebola!" Link shouted. "I have no idea what's wrong, but we must inform Master Hand of this."
"So what do we do with the body?" Marth asked. "He's still alive, right?"
"Yeah, so let's take him to Master Hand." Captain Falcon suggested. The two nodded and soon the three were hovering over the body, picking it up and dragging it through the halls as quick as they could.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"What is this?" Master Hand asked.
"It's Roy's body, we found him in the halls, he was covered in blood, but there were no marks on him." Captain Falcon explained. "We checked his pulse, he's alive, but he needs help."
"Right." Master hand snapped his fingers and soon two wire frames appeared out of no where. "Take this boy to the medical facility, and scan him for any debris inside of him or any finger prints what-so-ever."
The two saluted and walked over to Roy's body. They picked it up and soon disappeared.
"Rest easy Roy." Master Hand calmly said. He looked over towards Pikachu, who was just walking into the room. "Rest easy, you got a long match ahead of you."
The Next morning Nana and Popo woke up early to get ready for the match. They swiftly ate and readied their hammers, they were ready to fight.
The next thing they knew, they were on Pokemon Stadium facing Pikachu.
"READY!" The announcer called.
"GO!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roy floated in a black abyss. Surrounded by nothing, only pure darkness filled the foul air. The darkness formed itself into the shape of Sergio.
"The strings are attached." The paled raspy voice said to Roy. Roy began to scream in pain. "Do not worry child, it's almost over."
The darkness cracked into shattered pieces, and the pieces fell to the floor, revealing the bright light coming from the medical facility Roy found himself in. The fractured pieces of darkness were no more.
He sat up and stared at the Wire frames, that only stared at him with no emotions what-so-ever. Roy simply jumped out of the bed, and walked out, leaving the Wire Frames the job of cleaning the bed, and moving on to the autopsies of the murdered corpses.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pikachu ducked under Nana's Hammer, and suffered a chilling feeling from Popo's block of ice. It was completely unfair. Pikachu had one stock left while the Ice Climbers had two stocks left.
Pikachu was against the two Ice Climbers, which continued to pummel Pikachu until he was off of the stage.
In the audience, Master Hand stood, waiting. He had assigned two wire frames to wait at the bottom of the stage. Master Hand knew the murderer was somehow controlling the warps from the control room. He had inspected it many times, but only found Yoshi's corpse.
Sure it was a little freaky, but Master Hand decided to tell no one. He was waiting for someone to "find" Yoshi, and he knew that person would be the killer, for the control room was very well hidden, nobody could just easily stumble on to it.
"GAME!" The announcer called. Pikachu screamed as he made his way down the ledge. He knew it was over, but maybe next time.
Pikachu continued to fall, and fall, and fall until he realized there was no warp.
"What's going on?" Pikachu screamed. Soon flat concrete met him. There was a huge crack, and pain flew in Pikachu's back He tried to move, but was unable to.
Pikachu screamed for help, but nothing came. What was happening? Pikachu was approached by two shady characters The murderers! There are two of them!
They came out of the shadows to reveal themselves as Wire Frames. Pikachu screamed. "Go away murderers!"
The two continued to walk silently and pulled out a stretcher. It was placed on the ground, which Pikachu was later placed on. He screamed in pain as he was being taken out of the room on the stretcher.
One of the wire frames stopped and shot something in Pikachu, soon the pain was gone, while they continued to take him out of the room.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roy grabbed his head in pain as Sergio appeared right behind him. Roy turned around to face the tall, pale man.
"What do you want with me?" Roy screamed in pain.
"I want to inform you that somebody has survived a murder." Sergio said in his raspy voice.
"Who survived?" Roy asked.
Sergio began to give out another deep, cold laugh. "The fool, he is becoming a pest…"
He walked off into the shadows and soon disappeared. Roy was confused, who was that man? And why does he keep coming back to him?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pikachu was presented before Master Hand. All the smashers were gathered around him except Isolde.
"What did you see?" Master Hand screamed.
"Darkness, just, darkness." Pikachu said with fear in his voice. "I didn't get a good look at the room I was in, I just know if the wire frames hadn't showed up, I have no idea what would of happened to me."
Roy ran into the room shrieking. Everybody went from Pikachu to Roy. Roy stopped and fell to his knees, crying.
"Roy, why are you not in the medical facility?" Master Hand asked. "And what's wrong!"
"I…I remember what happened." Roy said, he seemed different then from before. "I was told you found my body."
"Yes, we assumed the worse!" Marth said.
"Were you attacked?" Zelda asked. Fox gave a cold glare at Master Hand.
"Yes, I was attacked by the murderer." Roy said in a shaky tone. The only picture he could see in his mind was the face of Sergio… smiling.
"Who's the murderer?" Master Hand growled.
Roy lifted his shaky index finger and pointed to Pikachu. Everybody gasped and glared at Pikachu. Pikachu laid on the stretcher.
"You…" Master Hand Growled.
"No, I did no such thing!" Pikachu screamed.
"Enough," Master Hand snapped his fingers. "Take that rat to the prisons!"
Pichu ran up in front of Master Hand.
"No, Pikachu would never do such a thing!" Pichu screamed.
"Yeah!" Fox stepped out and screamed. "If anybody did anything, it's YOU!"
"What!" Master Hand growled and turned to Fox. He looked as if he was going to murder him. "What makes you think that I would do such a thing?"
"You are the only person who has access to the control room, and knows how to control the warps. A lot of the murders have taken place at various places via warp!" Fox screamed. "Not to mention we found Luigi's body in a type of gas chamber. And unless Albrecht is some kind of psycho, you must be the only person who has something to do with it!"
Ganondorf remembered Yoshi. He then stepped out and muttered "Wait…"
Everyone looked at Ganondorf.
"I found Yoshi in the control room, head. I have no idea what happened to him, but if what you said was true, then Master Hand could of murdered him too." Ganondorf spoke out.
Everybody gasped.
Master Hand pointed at Ganondorf. "YOU! YOU MUST BE THE MURDERER!"
"What? Why me?" Ganondorf stuttered.
"THE CONTROL ROOM IS SAFELY HIDDEN, ONLY YOU MUST OF KNOWN WHERE IT WAS!"
Roy stood up and slammed his fist on a wall.
"No, Pikachu attacked me!" Roy screamed. "He also told me how he was messing with the controls, he intended on murdering Yoshi, and he was going to kill the Ice Climbers himself. He set the controls to where they would fall in a room and die!"
Master Hand raised his palm and clenched it into a fist. "Guards!" He screamed. "TAKE THAT RAT TO THE DUNGEONS IMMEDIATELY!"
Pikachu was soon thrown into the dungeons. His back ached more then anything as he screamed "I DIDN'T DO IT!"
The doors slammed shut as Pikachu once again screamed "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"
"Of course you didn't." A deep, raspy voice said. It was half human, half dead. Pikachu looked around.
"Wh-who's there!" Pikachu screamed.
Pikachu gasped when a shady figure appeared in front of his cell. He gave out a raspy voice.
"Like a mouse trapped in a cage, so what do you plan to do now?" The shady figure asked. "You are probably going to rot in this cell, and you will die. But I offer a present to you."
"What do you want?" Pikachu asked in a shivering tone. He had never felt more scared in his life. "What kind of gift?"
The shady figure revealed a gun in his hand. "I offer you death."
Pikachu freaked out and began to run around in circles. There was a loud crack and pain erupted in his right leg. Pikachu screamed in agony.
"You fool, I offered a quick end to your miserable life." Another crack of the gun and Pain erupted in Pikachu's left leg.
Pikachu saw the blood everywhere. His leg was covered in pain and blood.
The shady figure cracked up laughing and shot a bullet in Pikachu's shattered kneecap. Pikachu continued to scream until he choked on the salty taste of blood. Pikachu laid on the ground in pain.
He then realized the bullets were not lead.
"That…Gun…" Pikachu coughed up a glob of blood. His breathing was tense, and shaky. "That gun…Belongs….To…"
Many more shots were fired, and soon, Pikachu was propped up against the wall.
"One more bullet left." The raspy voice said. "I shall give you the pleasure of spilling out your last words now."
Pikachu muttered one word, and one word only. "Fox…"
The bullet was fired, which lead to the walls behind Pikachu to be splattered by pieces of Pikachu's brain.
Author: Alrighty, I have written another chapter. So who is the murderer anyway? Well, many more chapters are to come, and now that I have stalled you all long enough, it's Royal Fanatic's turn. Please review, and be nice to us, please?