A/N: Here's another update! Whoo-hoo! I'm so happy to have this done. Now, I think I have figured out what I'm going to do and you won't necessarily know in this chapter, but the next one. I'm so excited for it! I hope you like this new update. Please review…they are the sustain I need to keep going. I just love getting them. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own GG. I'm not feeling very original today so this is the only disclaimer you will get.

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August 30, 1988

Wow, it's amazing what a little cleaning will produce. A dusty old journal I had nearly forgotten about. Okay, not nearly, but I had. Forgotten about this I mean. I feel horrible. Wait, so I'm apologizing to a book that I haven't touched in, what a well over a year or so? Maybe I am crazy.

I don't doubt it.

I still can't believe how long it's been. I'm trying to rack my brain and figure out where to start.

First off, I'm tired of calling you book. You need a name. A pretty, simple, yet elegant name.

Have any suggestions for yourself?

Don't rush me, I'm thinking, I'm thinking.

Mary? No, too normal I think for you.

Veronica? No…too something.

Wow, this is a lot harder than I thought it would.

Wait, I've got the perfect name for you. From this moment forward you shall be known as…

Drum roll please…

Maddie.

Why have I named you Maddie you ask, well I'd be happy to explain.

On my first day of kindergarten I was so nervous. Petrified actually. I held my tied-dyed lunch box close to my side and nervously played with one of my braids as I looked around the huge classroom feeling quite awkward.

The nanny dropped me off at my classroom, waived, and then was gone.

I was alone and terrified.

That is when Maddie Alexander first introduced herself.

She offered to let me play with the Barbie she had brought with her to school that morning and it was an instant connection.

We stayed friends all through elementary school and well into sixth grade, before she moved with her family to Texas. Dallas I think.

So, you my old friend are now Maddie. It'll be a little less awkward spilling all my emotions to a book that I can pretend is one of my oldest friends. It makes me feel a little less crazy. If that's possible.

Okay, now that I've got that taken care of I can move on to other things.

Rory is getting so big; she'll be four in October. Four. I can't believe it. And then in another year she'll be starting kindergarten and will have to find a Maddie for herself. She doesn't have any friends really right now. I mean, she plays with Mia and a few of the other employees at the Inn but she needs friends her own age. It's just been hard.

I haven't really tried to make myself welcome in town. I'm much more comfortable here at the Inn and in the potting shed. I guess I'm just worried about the pointed looks and judgment that I've faced so often.

I can't pretend not to hear some of the things I've heard. I know I should try…but. Mia tells me to try to not let it bother me, but, I can't help it. That is why I've kept mostly to myself and the Inn over the past year. It's easier that way.

I'm being a coward. I know that. Please don't make me feel worse about it. Next year I'll have to suck it up because I can't keep Rory from school. She's so smart already I know she is going to excel in school.

I just know being a twenty one year old, dropping off my soon-to-be five year old next fall will get some interesting looks. I don't want to think about it now; I still have a year to deal with it. So, I won't let myself get weirded out yet.

Rory right now is doing the most adorable thing. I've recently gotten a sewing machine; Mia found it at an estate's sale and brought it home for me. It's much cheaper to make Rory clothes with as fast as she is growing, and I keep it on the shaky table here in the shed. I keep it unplugged while I'm not using it, but Rory will get up on the chair and pretend to sew. It is so adorable. I think she may be trying to sew her doll's hands together right now.

While she's doing it, she'll talk to herself. Quiet little mumblings that really don't make any sense, but it is still the most adorable thing in the whole world. I just love my daughter.

The other night there was a wedding at the Inn and thankfully I didn't have to work so we sat outside on the grass in front of the shed and listened to the music and danced. It was a perfect night.

I'm so lucky with a daughter like Rory. The entire staff of the Inn adores her. Chef Jenkins calls her an angel child. She's so even tempered and polite. I like to think that I'm doing a good job raising her. I know I can't provide her all the material things that other mothers can provide their daughters, but I make sure to shower her in love. She will never go a minute in her life thinking she is a hindrance or unloved.

I know how that feels and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, ever.

But, as for the staff, it is a comfort to know that so many people are looking out for us. Jenkins makes sure that we are both fed everyday. And his food is amazing. He mentioned to me the other day over the lunch we had that he is thinking about retiring though. That makes me sad. Jenkins is an older man and our harsh New England winters are hard on him. His family wants him to retire to Florida. I don't blame him for considering it; I just hope that Mia can find someone as wonderful as he is.

It will be hard. He's like the grandfather I never had. I'll miss him. Okay, I'm starting to tear up so I need to get away from this subject.

To more happy thoughts. Now, I'm trying to figure out what might actually be considered happy thoughts, because things are tight right now. But, I am happy to report that I have saved quite a handful of money over the last year to be put towards buying a house.

I've got about one thousand saved. I know, it's not much. Not by a long shot, but slowly and surely I'll get enough. We've scrimped on everything. We get our meals from the Inn, I sew most of Rory's clothes from my old ones, and I only have a few outfits besides my Inn uniform that I wear most of the time. We don't go into town. But I already explained the reason for that partially. I just don't spend money if I don't have too.

Rory and I find other ways to amuse ourselves and spend our time.

Mia takes good care of us anyways.

I love Mia like she was my own mother. John and Jacob are very lucky to call her mom. John just got back from college in California and is now helping Mia expand the business. He wants her to open some more Inns around the area and maybe even the country. It's a great idea I think. John is amazing at the business aspect of it all. He and his fiancé are nice too. I wish I could be apart of the family for real instead of the outsider.

Maddie will I ever stop feeling like I'm an outsider?

Some days I would answer yes and some I would answer no.

I guess I will just have to wait.

Which sucks, Maddie. I've never been much of a patient person. It is something I'm a trying to learn though. I'm trying to be patient.

Okay weird. Talk about destiny or fate or something weird like that, but I think you were trying to tell me something there Maddie. When the wind blew the pages flipped back and all the sudden I was on the page were I promised to visit my parent's house on Rory's fifth birthday.

Spooky.

I've haven't forgotten about that. No matter how hard I have tried. I have over a year still. Rory isn't even four yet. Close, but not yet. I'm not letting myself think about it until I absolutely have too, and I would appreciate Maddie, if you would let me do that. So no more page turning reminders, okay?

Okay.

Now to be honest with myself, I miss my dad. I know, there has been a crack in the space time continuum or something, but I do. I miss him terribly. It isn't my fault that I don't speak to him though. He is the one who decided to take my mother's side. He knew how I felt about it and yet he still took my mother's side. I can't see her. I can't talk to her and he should know that.

I wonder how they are doing. Did they vacation in the Cape this summer like every other year? Are they now planning their Europe vacation like every other fall since before I can remember? How many maids has my mother gone through since I left? A hundred? A thousand? I don't know.

I hope they are doing well. Even though I don't want to talk or see them, I still want them to be well.

What kind of daughter would I be if I didn't want them to be well? I can't afford to be a more horrible daughter than I've already been.

Oh, Rory is starting to really yawn. I should get her ready for bed, which means Maddie that I'm going to have to put you up for the night. Now I can promise it won't be another year before I write in you again. I'm going to make sure I keep you out where I can see you everyday so I know to keep writing.

You've been a good friend and I know that we'll have many more moments to share in the future.

Here's to the future.

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A/N: Please leave some reviews and let me know what you think! I love getting them and they totally make my day! Until next time…