A/N: Yay new chapter! I'm so excited…it's been less than a week. I'm proud of myself. AND…I'm so thankful for you readers. We surpassed 100 reviews with the last chapter. I couldn't believe it. Keep it up…let's try to set a record for this chapter and this story and leave double digit reviews. This story has yet to see that…anyways, on with the story.

Disclaimer: Do you really think that if I owned GG I'd be sitting at a painfully slow computer writing this? I doubt it…I'd be somewhere exotic.

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April 22, 1989

You better start wishing me a happy birthday Maddie, because, yup, that's right today is my birthday. It's still early, actually I'm surprised I'm awake it's so early, but for some reason I couldn't sleep. I'm not sure why that is, but I'm not trying to dwell on it.

I don't have any big plans today. I'll probably just hang out with Liz some today and have dinner tonight with William and Mia. Nothing like every other twenty first birthday across America I'm sure, but then again, I'm not like ever other twenty one year old in America either. I have Rory to think about; I can't just go and get wasted.

It's not like I haven't ever been wasted before. For crying out loud that is how Rory was conceived after all.

I still remember the first time I ever got drunk. That was a night to behold. I was fourteen, a freshman in high school, and desperate to fit in and be considered cool. My best friend Janice had an older brother who was a senior and honestly I had crushed on him since we were toddlers, but I was always the pesky friend of the younger sister. A titled I'm sure I earned justly, but that is beside the point.

It was about a month into freshman year with Janice told me that Kevin, her brother, was going to have this huge blowout of a party while their parents were gone to the Vineyard and wanted to know if I wanted to come. I couldn't agree faster. We pulled off the ultimate stunt that night, Janice and I. You see my parents were really strict about not letting me spend the night at a friend's house without speaking to their parents and making sure that an adult would be home. They were worried about supervision or something.

So, Janice, Katie, and I planned this whole thing. I would be 'spending the night' at Katie's house according to my parents and hers. Then, once her parents left for the night, (they had some party of their own to attend) we snuck out and went to Janice's leaving her parents a note telling them that we had gone to this little ice-cream place down the road with some friends from school.

Katie's parents were a lot more relaxed than mine if you couldn't tell and they had no qualms about letting me stay there while avoiding the truth with my parents that they weren't actually going to be home the whole time. It worked too, because Katie's parents weren't really friends with mine so they only talked when I wanted to go there.

By the time we got to Janice's house the party was in full swing. There had to have been at least 400 people crammed into their house, backyard, and pool house and the music was going. We found Janice almost right away and ran up to her room to change into our 'party' get up. After some major primping and stuff we made our way downstairs, completely different girls.

Now that I think back, we probably looked like sluts. Yeah, I'm pretty sure we did. I had this short mini-skirt on that I borrowed from Janice's older sister and a white, practically see-through top that skimmed my navel. My hair was pulled up, wild curls escaping around my face, and makeup easily an inch thick covering my face. We loaded up on jewelry and accessories in ever attempt to seem older.

Let me tell you, it worked.

I had a cup of beer offered to me the second I stepped off the stairs and was surrounded by a group of older guys I recognized from school. That was the first cup of beer I ever drank. It was quickly followed by about six others.

Yeah, stupid.

The more I think about that night and actually put it all down on paper the more embarrassed I become. I really was a slut and completely stupid that night. I made out with three senior football players, one senior basketball player, and then some other guy, who I don't remember now.

Honestly, I came close to loosing my virginity that night. Thankfully Kevin stopped that before it was too late. We got a tongue lashing from him after he realized we had crashed his party and were all drunk. He had the butler drive Katie and I back to her house where we promptly passed out in her room and slept until noon the next day.

That night started my reputation as a flirt and a 'bad girl' so to speak and the boyfriend offers started coming. I didn't seriously date any of them though, not until Chris.

I regret that night. I regret what that night made me really. I'm sure things might have been different for me if that night had been different. If I could have been happy with the way I was and not so enthralled in pushing my parents away.

I almost wish I could have been the perfect daughter that they always wanted. That they wished for every day of my existence. I hate that I let them down, that I disappointed them. That thought stings. That hurts almost worse than enduring childbirth Maddie…almost.

I don't Rory to ever feel like she's a disappointment to me. That is the farthest thing from the truth. Rory is the best thing in my life. She is what makes it all worth it. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have her.

Man, listen to me getting all sappy and weepy. This isn't the normal Lorelai Gilmore…but I think this is more of the real Lorelai Gilmore. I've always been emotional; I've just gotten to be a pro at hiding it. I had to in order to survive my parents' home. To survive my mother.

Whatever happened to just being yourself? I guess that went out of style a long time ago huh? I wish it would come back…it could make life easier.

"Mommy?" Rory's voice called from the front door of the potting shed, "it's early."

"I know sweetie," Lorelai answered setting her journal down beside her on the grass.

"Why are you awake?"

"Sometimes mommy likes to wake up early," Lorelai told her daughter as she wrapped her in her arms. "What are you doing awake?"

"I had a bad dream," Rory yawned nuzzling her head into Lorelai's chest.

"Oh honey," Lorelai soothed, "its okay, it was only a dream."

"I know," Rory countered and Lorelai could feel the wetness of her daughter's tears through her pajama top.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Rory shook her head hard and Lorelai nodded, "okay sweetie. But if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here."

"I know mommy," Rory whispered and squeezed Lorelai's neck tighter. "I'm kinda hungry…"

"Why don't you and I get dressed and go see if Chef Jenkins will whip us up something for breakfast before the dining room opens? How does that sound?"

"Yummy," Rory exclaimed releasing her grip on Lorelai. "Can I wear my pink sneakers today?"

"Of course angel," Lorelai replied picking up Maddie and her pink sparkle pen from the grass. "Let's go!"

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I have to say that I really do enjoy birthdays. Who wouldn't though really? It is a day dedicated to you and celebrating your life. It couldn't get too much better than that! I had a great birthday. I really did. Spent the morning with Rory at the Inn, I didn't work, but we had breakfast with Mia who was already there and then played for awhile by the lake.

Liz and I left the kids with William then about noon for a girls' afternoon out, just the two of us. Can I tell you how long it's been since I've had time to myself without Rory around when I wasn't working? I love spending time with Rory, don't get me wrong Maddie, but there are some days when a girl just needs to let loose and be somewhat free.

We drove into Hartford, well, Liz drove because I still don't have my license, I really should get that fixed, and did lunch at a little café and had pedicures done. It was so relaxing. Then we decided to go to the mall to just look around some. We had a few more hours to kill before we were allowed to come back home.

It was weird being back in Hartford like that. I haven't really gone outside of the Stars Hollow area since I arrived. I can't remember the last time I was in Hartford either. It was strange.

What was even stranger…?

I saw Chris.

Yup.

Disbelief.

Utter and complete shock ran through my body when I recognized his sandy blonde hair and build.

I thought for a minute that I was going to be sick.

What's worse, he saw me, too.

I can't help but cringe now even thinking about it and how I ever wanted to try and build a life with him I'll never understand. I'm glad that we didn't get married. That would have been horrendous.

But yeah, so I saw him. He was attached to this leggy, blonde chick and had her unflattering shade of red lipstick all over his neck. I was seriously grossed out. I wish I could have gotten away without talking to him.

I wasn't so lucky.

"Lorelai?" I heard his voice ask right as I turned around to walk away from him. I could hear Liz's hushed questions and I glared at her before plastering a fake smile on my face and turning to greet the father of my daughter.

"Chris," I answered, "what are you doing here?"

"Me?" he asked shakily, "I can't believe you are in Hartford."

"Well here I am. How is college life treating you?"

"Oh, well good you know," he answered stammering, "California is nice."

"Glad to hear it…"

"Baby," the voice of the mystery blonde spoke up from behind him and I couldn't' help but cringe. "Who are your friends?"

"This is a friend from high school, Lorelai," he answered, "Lorelai this is my girlfriend Amanda."

"Nice to meet you Amanda," I forced out.

"You too," she answered without sincerity. "Chris…we really should be going."

"Yeah," he answered and allowed her to link her arm through his. "It was good seeing you again Lorelai. Give Rory a kiss for me?"

"Sure Chris," I answered fuming at the thought he would assume I'd let his daughter know I'd seen her good-for-nothing father. "I'll make sure Rory knows that her Daddy says hi."

I walked away right as I heard Amanda let out a squealed, "what?" and smiled to myself. Liz caught up with me after a few seconds.

"So that was Chris huh?" she asked biting back a grin.

"Yup."

"Sorry."

"Don't be," I answered honestly. "Without him I wouldn't have Rory, I know that. But I'm glad that I don't have to deal with him. Marriage for us just wasn't an option and my belief is grounded firmly in that. Especially now."

We didn't stay at the mall after that. We headed directly back into Stars Hollow and Liz was kind enough to be silent on the way home so that I could stew. And stew I did. I was so pissed. I still am now that I think about it. What an idiotic moron.

I'd be happy if I never saw him again.

BUT!

Other than that little fiasco, my birthday was fantastic. When we got back to town there was a huge birthday party for me and the whole town came out to celebrate with me. It was so much fun. I'm so thankful for the family and friends I have here. And that Rory has.

I'm not sure our life could get any better.

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Luke was having a hard time concentrating on the books in front of him as he attempted to study for a test he had the next day. Coming back from Spring break had been hard. He had a feeling that something was up with his dad but his father like all other circumstances refused to talk about it. Anytime Luke had tried to broach the subject William would shrug it off and change the subject. It was getting on Luke's nerves.

Then he had the whole Kara thing to deal with.

They had reconciled and plans for the wedding were once again underway. Well, sorta.

They hadn't set a date yet, or picked colors really, or now that Luke was thinking about it, they really hadn't done anything. He was still trying to figure out the reason his dad had been so cold to his fiancé and was drawing a blank. It didn't help that Liz hadn't liked her either.

He wasn't sure he'd be able to convince Kara to move back to Connecticut with him when the year was over and they had graduated.

"Hey Luke," Tim, his roommate, interrupted his thoughts. "A bunch of the guys are heading down to the pub to catch the game. Wanna come?"

"Nah," Luke shrugged, "I really need to study."

"It's the Red Sox Luke," Tim argued, "are you for real telling me that my roommate, the avid Sox's fan is turning down the chance to drink beers and watch the game on the best TV in the county?"

"I guess."

"Man there is something wrong with you," Tim laughed, "if you change your mind you know where we'll be."

"Thanks," Luke muttered and watched at Tim left their room. He's right, Luke thought, there has got to be something wrong with me. When have I ever turned down a game with the guys?

Luke shook his head trying to clear the thoughts from it and turned back to the Chemistry book that laid in front of him and tried to focus on the equations he stilled needed to memorize.

And the longer he tried the harder he found it to concentrate.

Maybe some fresh air will do me good, he told himself and grabbed his jacket and headed out the door.

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A/N: I'm not totally sure how I feel about this chapter. I like it…I just…I don't know. I'm going to try to intermingle Luke in this story even when he isn't in Stars Hollow, just so I can keep the possibly of something happening…I guess we'll see.

So…review…make my day and I'll try to get another update before Christmas. That would be nice, huh?