I deeply appreciate all the reviews to help Caleb see the error of his ways. While we are not quite successful yet, we mustn't give up! Caleb does have an account on here. But he's new so he doesn't have any stories up yet. I will give you the link when I can. His username is something along the lines of CKaiez. Here are my replies to your reviews:
To Leahcar-Soutaicho: You made an excellent point! I agree with you fully! And thank you for the idea! There will be humor (or at least attempted humor) in it. And Toshiro is already my husband! But of course, we all share! By the way, Caleb says he likes your icon. :D
To AnimeLuver4everandevr- Way to make it cut and dry! Loved the extended use of all caps. It shows determination!
To AttitudeDragon- Exactly right! The poor souls have been through so much.
To couldn't think of a name- Yours was probably my favorite. Because Caleb was sitting right next to me when you posted it. I hadn't read it when I showed it to him so needless to say I almost burst out laughing. Especially at the "lemonlessness" which was truly epic. And in response to the last sentence: you ask and you shall receive!!!
To Alex san 12012- Rants are fun. They let you show your true feelings about something. Also, do you know the specific episode in which Toshiro smiles at Ichigo's name during the taicho meeting?
To Kitty- It is a silly reason! And yes the absolutely steamy pics and fics you find lying around the internet are alluring! And thanks for being one of few that had the name not make my Spell Check go WTF.
Izuru: Cookie doesn't own Bleach or its characters.
Me: BEWARE! SLIGHT CRACKINESS IS IN THIS CHAPTER!!! This chapter was inspired by Day Off by kboost.
Baby Strawberry Snowflakes
Gin remembers/4 months
Gin's POV
Izuru and Blayne were both napping. I sat at my desk thinking about stuff. It was just a normal boring day in the Soul Society. I wondered if Aizen was planning on sending Tosen to come get me again. Was I really that important to them? I didn't have that many fond memories there anyway. But there was one time that I just couldn't forget.
FLASHBACK
I called my lovely Espadas to a meeting. Unfortunately, few showed up on time: Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, a sleeping Stark, and Harribel.
"Hello my lil kittens!" I yelled, waking Stark up.
The other Espadas rolled their eyes.
"Stark, dear, wipe yer drool. It's disgustin'." I told him.
The primera Espada grumbled and wiped his chin. There was an awkward silence before Ulquiorra spoke up.
"Ichimaru-sama, not everyone is here." He informed me.
"Very good point, Ulquiorra. I shall deal with that immediately." I took out a megaphone and pointed it toward all the Espadas' rooms, "OI! ANYONE WHO DOESN'T WANT ME TO STALK 'EM FOR THE REST OF THEIR MISERABLE ARRANCAR LIVES OUGHTA COME DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!!!"
I smiled and put the megaphone back into my robe. Grimmjow looked at me weirdly, "Why do you keep a megaphone with you?"
I shrugged, "Why don't you?"
In a few seconds after that, there was a noise, everyone turned and looked at the Espada crossroads when we saw a cluster of Espadas struggling to get into the conference room. I causally stepped aside and let the group pour in and take their places.
I grinned, "Now that we're all here, I have an announcement to ma-"
"Where's Aizen-sama?" Interrupted a certain pink haired Espada.
I frowned, "Well I-"
"And Tosen-sama?" Nnoitra asked.
I grunted. First I walked over to Szayel who sat there unnerved. In one swift movement, I grabbed a lock of Szayel's pink hair and slashed it off with Shinsou. A few Espadas chuckled as Szayel panicked over his now imperfect hair. I then went over to Nnoitra who was laughing at Szayel. I took a can of pepper spray out of my robe, lifted his eye patch, and sprayed it in his eyes. He immediately screamed and covered his eyes with his hands. I returned to my original spot with a smirk.
"Never interrupt me, when I'm speakin'." I told everyone, "Now what I have brought you all here for is to show you this video that Aizen-sama left."
I took out a remote and pressed a button that revealed a screen, "Please pay attention to th' video and NO TALKIN'." I pressed another button that began the video.
It showed Aizen on screen a bit scared. He read from a paper in his hands, "Greetings my kit-I mean Espadas. If you are watching this then I am away and have left the amazing Ichimaru-sama in charge." He rolled his eyes, "And I am also giving you a week off while I go and…Gin?"
A voice was heard off camera, "What?"
"Why does this say I'm going to be teaching penguins how to fly in Alaska?" he whispered.
A long blade came into the shot and stopped at Aizen's neck, "JUST READ IT!"
Aizen fearfully looked back over to the camera, "And I'm going to go teach penguins how to fly in Alaska. Uhm…Bye."
The video clicked off and I turned to see Ulquiorra have his hand raised, "Yes Ulquiorra?"
"While that…interesting video explained where Aizen-sama is, where is Tosen-sama?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
I scoffed, "Don't ya worry 'bout him. He's off somewhere."
I scanned the Espadas faces and got mixed responses from it, "So as you heard, Aizen-sama has given you a week off! Now what is it we want to do?"
"Reading."
"The beach!"
"Sleep."
"Shopping."
"Makeovers!"
"Rape."
I twitched at the last one, "Uh…maybe something other than that."
END FLASHBACK
I chuckled at the memory. We ended up having a sand castle contest that day. Then there was that one time when Aizen got a surprise interview during a meeting.
FLASHBACK
The interviewer nodded, "What about all your Espadas?"
"Oh you mean my monkeys?" Aizen replied.
"Is that what you call them?" the interviewer asked.
"Yeah they're pretty much my monkeys. Of course I had to have at least one female in the group. Y'know, equality these days." Aizen said.
"Sexist pig." Harribel muttered.
Aizen turned to her, "I will get another woman! I would dress Ulquiorra up as a woman if I have to!"
Grimmjow laughed, "Oh my god!"
"I would quit just to see that." Harribel announced.
Ulquiorra's eyes widened.
Aizen nodded, "All right, fine." He turned to Tosen, "Tosen, go get Ulquiorra a dress."
I smiled while watching all of this go on.
Aizen continued, "And then there's Szayel."
"Yay." Said Espada cheered.
"Fucking Szayel." Aizen finished.
"Ha ha." A certain blue haired arrancar laughed.
"I want to hit him. He always blows up some part of the building. I want to hit him right now." He looked at me, "Gin. Go hit Szayel."
I nodded. I walked over to the targeted Espada and smacked him across the face.
END FLASHBACK
I can't say I made too many enemies while I was there. One of the few people who I actually liked was Neliel when she came back. But that was a few months before I left the first time. I chuckled and laid back in my chair. Unfortunately I laid back a little too far which caused me to fall over and land on the floor. I got up wincing at the new pain in my back. I rubbed my head and sighed. Why didn't we have padded floors around here? At least a throw rug would be nice. I shook my head and went to go check on Izuru.
Ikkaku's POV
I was laying on the futon in my room when I heard a knock at my door, "Yes, what is it?"
A nervous Yumichika walked in to the room, "Ikkaku, I really need to talk to you."
I walked over and wrapped my arms around him, "What's wrong?"
"I just got back from a check up." He told me.
"And? What happened?" I asked.
He buried his head into the crook of my neck and mumbled something.
"Yumichika, you need to speak up. I can't hear you." I told him.
I heard the same incoherent mumbling, "Say it to me without hiding your face."
"FOR GOD'S SAKE, I'M HAVING TRIPLETS!!" my distraught lover yelled in my face.
He quickly buried his head in my shoulder and started crying. I stroked his hair, "What's so bad about that? This is great news. Why are you so upset?"
"Because I'm going to be even fatter and less beautiful!" he complained.
I chuckled. Typical Yumichika, "That doesn't matter. No matter what size you are, you will always be extremely beautiful to me."
Yumichika sniffed, "Really?"
I nodded and kissed his forehead, "Yep. Don't ever think any different."
Neliel's POV
It was lunchtime in Hueco Mundo. We were all gathered around one table eating. Nothing was done about Ichimaru-sama's departure this time. It was normally quiet at this time. But for some reason it was really talkative.
"And so, Ichimaru-sama inspired me!" Szayel told the rest of the Espada.
"Why?" Grimmjow asked.
"If he can come out about betraying Aizen-sama, then I can admit something too! I love to bake!"
"What?!" We all yelled.
Szayel stood up and started singing, "You can bet there's nothing but death, when I am in the zone or on a roll! But I've got a confession, my own secret obsession and it's making me lose control!"
"Everybody gather round!" Grimmjow said.
"Scones, strudel, even apple pie!" Szayel announced.
We all disagreed, "Not another sound!"
"I dream of making the perfect crème brulee." He told us.
Everyone shook their heads, "No no no no! Stick to the stuff you know! If you wanna be cool, follow one simple rule, don't mess with the flow! No no! Stick to the status quo!"
Szayel sat down in shame. Then I decided to get up, "Ichimaru-sama has changed me too. Look at me and what do you see?"
"Intelligence beyond compare." Szayel said.
"But inside I am stirring! Something strange is occurring! It's a secret I need to share." I proclaimed.
"Open up, dig way down deep!" They all encouraged.
"Hip hop is my passion!" I confessed, "I love to pop, lock, break, and jam!"
"Is that legal?" Ulquiorra asked.
Everyone stepped away, "Not another peep!"
"It's just dancing." I explained, "The truth is, sometimes I think it's even cooler than fighting!"
"No no no no! Stick to the stuff you know. It is better by far to keep things as they are. Don't mess with the flow! No no! Stick with the status quo!" They protested.
I sat down and watched Grimmjow stand up.
"Not you too!" The others yelled.
Grimmjow ignored them and sang, "Listen well, I'm ready to tell."
"About a need that you cannot deny!" Szayel and I said.
"Dude, there's no explanation for this awesome sensation. But I'm ready to let it fly!" He exclaimed.
"Speak your mind and you'll be heard!" We all sang.
"If Ichimaru-sama can do it, then I'm coming clean. I play the violin!" He announced proudly.
Kanika, his fraccion, nodded, "Awesome! What is it?"
"Not another word!" Everyone retorted.
"Do you hafta wear a costume?" She asked.
Grimmjow nodded, "Jacket and tie."
"That's uncalled for!" She shouted.
Szayel and I stepped up, "No no no no!"
Then the others rejected us, "No no no!"
We continued, "Don't stick to the stuff you know. If you wanna go far, gotta reach for your star. Just follow your dreams and go. Don't stick with the status quo!"
Then Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, Stark, and Harribel joined us, "No no no! Don't stick to the stuff you know! No, you gotta be true, to the thing that you do! No, don't be afraid to show! You won't stick to the status quo!"
Aizen and Tosen suddenly came in and saw everything.
"This is not what I want." Aizen said, "This is not what I planned. And I just gotta say, I do not understand! Something is really-"
The arrancars joined in, "Something is changing."
"Something's not right!" Tosen butted in.
"Something is happening." We sang.
"Really wrong! And we gotta get things back where they belong!" Aizen decided.
"Somehow I finally belong."
"We can do it!" Everyone on our side shouted.
"Gotta play!" Grimmjow exclaimed.
Nnoitra, Kanika, and Yammy sang, "Stick with what you know!"
"We can do it!"
"Hip hop hurray!" I said.
"They have got to go." Aizen ordered.
"We can do it!"
"Crème brulee!" Szayel proclaimed.
"Keep your voice down low." They said, "Not another peep."
"NO!" We yelled.
"Not another word."
"NO!"
"Not another sound."
"NO!"
"Everybody QUIET!" Aizen screamed.
Kanika looked at me, "Is Aizen-sama really mad about Ichimaru-sama leaving?"
"Let's put it this way." I explained, "The two have known each other for over one hundred years."
Kanika nodded. We both went back to our sides and everyone started shouting. Our side said one thing and they said another.
"Oh no! No no no! Stick to the stuff you know! If you wanna be cool, follow one simple rule. Don't mess with the flow! No no! Stick with the status quo! No! No no no! Stick to the stuff you know! It is better by far to keep things as they are! Don't mess with the flow! Oh no! Stick to the status quo!"
"Oh no! No no no no! Follow your dreams and go! Go! Go! Gotta live gotta grow! Don't stick to the status quo! No no no no! Follow your dreams and go! Go! Go! Gotta live gotta grow! Don't stick to the status quo!
"Stick to the status quo!"
"Don't stick to the status quo!"
"Stick to the status quo!"
"Don't stick to the status quo!"
All of the sudden, our singing was silenced by Aizen-sama, "GIN ICHIMARU IS GONNA PAY FOR THIS!!"
We watched him leave in a huff with Tosen behind him.
Was that good enough for you guys?! I swear, I really needed to think to pull off something like this! I begun to type something else but scrapped it and did this instead. I was asked for humor and I hope I gave ya humor! Filler chapters are good right? I hope you don't mind the HSM reference. And the fact that Grimmjow plays violin. I tried to make everything as logical as possible. I just had all sorts of stuff in this didn't I?
Toshiro: There was too much stuff in my opinion.
Gin: I like th' fact that my leavin' caused a musical number!
Me: I know! Isn't that cool! Plus the fact that Aizen is sexist. I would love to see what Ulquiorra would look like in a dress.
Toshiro: Gin, did you really do all that?
Gin: What makes it hard ta believe?
Toshiro: I don't think you're smart enough to think of such a plan.
Me: (Gasp!) That's mean! I demand you to apologize!
Toshiro: Why?
Me: Because I said so!
Toshiro: Ugh, I'm sorry.
Me: Good. Now kiss and make up.
Toshiro: Huh?
Me: Nothing.
Izuru: REVIEW FOR THE STORY TO CONTINUE!
Me: AND SO THAT I DON'T HAFTA KILL ONE OF TOSHIRO'S BABIES!
Toshiro: What?!
Me: I'm evil, I know. REVIEW OR ELSE!!!