A/N: Merry Christmas Eve everyone! I'm back and with an update! I hope everyone likes my Christmas present to you with the addition on a new chapter. I love writing this story and it's good to hear that people are enjoying it too! Thanks so much for everyone's wonderful reviews. They are great to get.

A/N2: I know that my other story, Living Life, has been abandoned for quite some time now and I do apologize for that. I plan on getting that updated after the Holidays, things have just been crazy and I've been dedicating all of my time towards this. I hope you understand. Thanks for the patience.

Disclaimer: No GG ownership for me…it's kinda sad.

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May 19, 1989

Man it sure is lonely around here right now Maddie. With William, Liz, and Jess gone to Texas for Luke's college graduation and Mia in California for her son's wedding its been way too quiet around here. I'm helping William out this week by working some hours in the store in place of Liz's and I'm actually having a blast. I wasn't sure I'd be very good at it or even like it, but I am.

Anyways, I guess that is kind of hum-drum news…though, there really isn't anything exciting to report. It's been pretty quiet around here in the Hollow. But that is what I like about this place. The quiet calm and friendly banter that accompanies even the most normal day. Though, now that I think about it, I'm not sure any day can be considered normal around here…it is Stars Hollow after all.

I'm so happy here. Miss Patty and Babette have been keeping me occupied with the Danes' out of town and I've even had to endure their less-than-subtle hints about becoming a Danes myself. Those ladies sure have an imagination and romantic side to them.

Too bad they've got me pinned to the wrong guy.

Me and Luke? They have to be kidding…right? He's a pompous ass most of the time and I dislike him. Immensely. I'll put up with him…because of William and Liz, but that is all there is to it.

And that is final.

Anyways, William has been over the moon the last couple weeks about Luke's return to Stars Hollow. I'm glad to final see the sparkle in William's eyes back. He's been so down for so long that anything that makes him seem like his old self again is worth praising.

Even if it means dealing with his jerk head of a son.

Liz and William flew out there to help celebrate his graduation and help him move his stuff back. They will be shipping some of the bigger stuff and packing the rest. I agreed to pick them up from the airport on Monday afternoon when their plan lands.

Did you pick that up? I'm driving to airport on Monday to pick up the Danes' family. I'm driving! And yes, Maddie, that means that I finally did it. I got my license. I've been meaning too for ages, it just…it hadn't happened before. Then last month around my birthday Liz convinced me it was finally time to get it done, so I did. It's been great! I still don't have a car yet, but I'm saving up. I'm almost to the point where I can get a decent car. Hopefully just a few more months and I'll be able to place a down payment on something.

So anyways, William left me the car and I'm to pick them up on Monday. I'm sure Luke won't be impressed to see me, but I really don't care. Rory misses William and Jess and I know she'll be happy to go with me to see them.

Luke's opinion doesn't matter to me. It doesn't.

I wonder if Kara is coming back with him.

I know it was implied when she was here for Easter. The fact that they'd be coming back here, starting their life together here, I just hope for both of their sakes that whatever happens is for the best and they are both happy.

Why do I feel so…I dunno, concerned about this? This is strange…I shouldn't be. Should I? No. Not at all. It's just Luke and I don't care what he does with his life. It's up to him. It doesn't effect me…it doesn't….it doesn't.

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Luke looked out over the crowd and spotted his father, sister, and nephew sitting a few rows back from the section of graduating seniors. His peers. It was still surreal to him, the fact that finally after a lot of hard work and time he was finally getting ready to graduate from college. He would be done with school.

As student elected speaker he wasn't sitting with his fellow graduates, but rather he was nestled in a cold metal chair on top of the platform in between Kelsey Finaden the class president and Jordan Flashing the valedictorian. He let his eyes scan the crowd again and this time they fell onto his future in-laws. Kara's parents' had flown in the night before from California and were obviously ready to fly home. They were not ones to leave their life of privilege and comfort very often and always hurried back to it when it was time.

Luke searched the sea of dark brown robes for his fiancé and a grin broke out over his face when he finally saw her bright green eyes and mass of auburn curls. He flashed a smile and winked and couldn't help but chuckle lightly at the deep blush that covered her cheeks.

Luke was having a hard time concentration on the dean's speech and was more than ready to be done with the whole thing. He wasn't a fan on speaking out in front of large groups but wasn't given a choice when the dean had approached him to let him know he had been selected.

"The student body was very adamant about their choice Luke," Dean Morieter had explained, "you won by a landslide."

"I didn't even realize I had been nominated," Luke countered in every attempt to escape the job. "There must be someone else…"

"Your peers have spoken Luke," the dean interrupted, "you better start preparing your speech."

So he had, reluctantly of course, but he did. He was almost sure that Kara had been the one to put his name in for selection though she continued to deny it. He continued to scan the crowds and his eyes landed on his father again. William's dark brown hair had begun to lighten with gray strands peppered through it and Luke noticed the dark circles under his father's eyes and the wrinkles on his forehead that hadn't been there before. Luke furrowed his brow in worry and vowed to himself to question his father when the ceremony was over.

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Rory asked about her father today. I swear you could have knocked me over with a feather as soon as the words left her mouth. She's never asked about Chris before and I think I secretly hoped she never would. Is that horrible? Because it feels horrible. I feel like I'm a horrible mother when I pray every morning that Rory won't ask about her dad, won't question why all the other kids she sees in town have a mommy and a daddy, why Jess sees his dad every two weeks on scheduled visits in the Stars Hollow park or in Hartford at a local restaurant and today my fears were confirmed.

She asked.

I didn't know what to say. How could I really? What was I supposed to say to her? I couldn't tell her the truth that her father was young and stupid and didn't mean to impregnate me with her and then ran from his responsibilities when I refused to marry him like his father and my father wanted. That he's now dating some blonde bimbo from wherever he's decide to reside right now and can't even call and let me know he's in town or that he wants to see her.

No, I can't tell her that Maddie, no matter how badly I want to. I want to keep her from him and from the heartbreak he's going to leave her with. I want to shield her from that but at the same time she deserves to know her father right? He might not deserve to know her, but she does.

I'm going to call him. Or at least try to call him. He gave me his phone number in California before he left, so I guess I could start there. I'm sure he'll be back for the summer, maybe they can get together.

That would be nice, wouldn't it Maddie?

I can at least try to pretend that is the way I truly feel.

When she asked though I just tried to explain to her that daddy lives far away and that he thinks about her everyday, which I'm sure is a lie, and that he'll try to visit soon. She kept trying to press me for more information but I finally snapped and told her to stop talking about him. I scared her and I hated myself for it, but I couldn't take it anymore.

I can't handle having to deal with that. I don't want to…

That isn't fair to Rory is it Maddie? It isn't fair that I refuse to talk about her father because it hurts too much and yet…I dunno. I feel like such a hypocrite.

I was the one that helped Liz understand that Jimmy deserves to have a relationship with his son if he wants and agreed to supervise the visits for her. Yet when it comes to my own kid and her father I don't want to attempt anything at all.

Though, it's different. Jimmy reached out first; he contacted Liz and practically begged to let Jess back into his life. It's obvious how much he cares for Jess and even Liz; though she won't let herself see it and Jimmy won't exactly admit it either.

I envy them almost.

I want Rory to have a life with her father. Or at least, I should want that. I want her to have a father figure is the more correct statement really. I just wouldn't be hurt if it wasn't Christopher.

But that would take me getting back out into the dating game and I'm not sure I'm ready to do that either. Who would want to date a 21 year old single mother of a kindergartener anyways? Not any guys I know.

Is it wrong for me to want Christopher Hayden to drop dead? Because honestly, that is where my emotions are currently directed.

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"I can't believe this," Luke grumbled as he watched Kara play with the tassel from her graduation cap. "I thought we had discussed this already Kara. You…"

"We haven't made any more motion to plan anything Luke," Kara interrupted, "how do you think that makes me feel. Anytime I try to bring the wedding up you back off, change the subject, or run away. So, you have to understand where this decision is coming from."

"Forgive me," Luke spat bitterly, "but I don't. How is living three thousand miles apart supposed to make this better?"

"Living close hasn't fixed anything," Kara argued, "maybe a break and the distance will help."

"I don't see how that is possible."

"Luke…"

"God damn it Kara," Luke continued, "I…I can't do this right now. I'm not about to stand here in the middle of the courtyard and argue about this."

"Where was I going to live Luke?" Kara asked ignoring his attempt to delay their argument. "Your father surely wasn't going to let me move in with you under his roof and Stars Hollow doesn't exactly have an abundance of cheap apartments and where was I going to work?"

"What about that when we are married?" Luke asked, "You never brought that up then."

"We wouldn't have that problem then."

"We wouldn't?"

"No," Kara yelled, "I'd be living with you."

"I'm talking about work," Luke ranted, "you never thought to bring up your concern about a job when we talked about this before."

"I…I just thought…"

"You thought what?"

"I thought you'd end up realizing that Stars Hollow and Connecticut aren't what you want anymore."

"You want me to leave my family?"

"I thought we could talk about it."

"I can't do that Kara," Luke told her, "I thought you understood that."

"Maybe we can bring your family with us," Kara started, "live in the city here. I'd have plenty of job opportunities and daddy would make sure you had a nice corner office."

"My dad would never leave the store or Stars Hollow," Luke continued. "Fine, if you want to go back to California with your family I'm not going to stop you."

"Luke…"

"Do you want this to end Kara," Luke's voice cracked as the words passed over his lips, "is this really what you want?"

"I don't want us to end," Kara insisted, "I just think…"

"You think that distance and a 'break' will do us good?"

"They say absence makes the heart grow fonder," Kara attempted to joke and Luke bit back an angry retort. "Please Luke."

"Do you still want to marry me?" he asked, needing the truth.

"Of course I do," Kara explained wrapping her arms around his neck. "I'll always want to marry you and be Mrs. Luke Danes. We can still plan the wedding. We can write and call…"

"Okay," Luke relented, "we'll try this your way."

"Thank you Luke," Kara pressed her lips to his gently, "we will make this work."

"I love you," Luke whispered against her lips and she smiled before repeating the words quietly. Luke wasn't exactly thrilled at the concept of living apart from his fiancé, but he knew that he had to give her what she wanted anyways.

When they finally pulled away from each other they parted ways, neither knowing when they would see each other again.

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May 22, 1989

What a busy day Maddie and it isn't even half way over yet. So, I helped William's assistant Jack open the store this morning and I was glad it was a fairly slow morning. I stocked and cleaned and just let Rory play behind the counter as hardly anyone came in for most of the morning. Then everything changed.

About eleven o'clock a tall dark haired guy came through the door and his brown eyes were just remarkable. I was smitten to say the least. The first time that has happened to me in ages really. He was asking me where to find all of this stuff; apparently he's new to town and fixing up an older house on the outskirts of town. Rory and I helped him find everything and he was amazing with her.

Even after he found out she was mine and I was incredibly young.

He's the new principal for Stars Hollow High and his name is Kevin Jacobs. He's twenty-five, single, well off, and great with kids. He's like the perfect guy.

We talked for quite awhile and it was nice. He was polite and kind and I think that I was about to sink into the ground when he asked me if I would join him for dinner once he was able to have company.

I agreed.

I'm not sure exactly what came over me, but I did. I agreed to a date with Kevin Jacobs.

My first date since Rory was conceived. Really since Christopher at all.

God I hope I don't screw this up. He could be the one. I know that sounds corny and completely unrealistic because I just met him and only spent about twenty minutes with the guy. I'm not sure though, something happened. Was it the butterflies that are so commonly associated with that feeling of love and contentment or was it just feelings arising that I've pressed hard to cover up in attempt of being the perfect mom?

I don't want to get my hopes up in any fashion. I date still date semi-casually right?

But how will this effect Rory?

Is this a good idea?

Maybe I should cancel, tell him I changed my mind. I can't actually date, can I? I do have Rory to think about.

Though, I can't become a nun either, just because I have a kid.

I need to talk to Mia. I hope she gets back soon.

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A/N: Should I be worried about the possibly of being strangled with a strand of Christmas lights or garland tonight in my sleep for this chapter? I know it probably isn't what anyone wanted to see…but I PROMISE that I have a plan.

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is leaving lots of reviews for me to see!

I'll see you all after Christmas!