A/N: Another update! Not much to say today so I'll just let you read.

Disclaimer: I don't know.

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September 1, 1989

Things are quiet around here right now. It's nice. Being in my own house has really helped that. Like a lot. Rory loves it, I know she does. She is still a fairly quiet girl, but she's starting to really bloom. I'm so thankful for Jess and Lane.

Lane is Rory's new best girl friend. They have the same kindergarten teacher, Jess too, and they have grown incredibly close. Lane's mom though, I don't think she likes me much. They are Korean and uber Christian and I don't think she appreciates the fact that I was a teenage mother.

I'm sure not anybody does really. The other parents give me funny looks when I drop off Rory or pick her up; I'm looked at like a leper. It doesn't faze me as much as it used to. The looks are normal now for me. I guess that is what happens when you are twenty one and are dragging around your five year old.

I don't have one problem with it though. Rory is the best thing that ever happened to me. That will never change.

Her birthday is coming up soon.

And yes Maddie, I know what that means.

Would you believe me if I told you I'd tried? Probably not huh? I guess that is warranted, but I have. Several times actually. But I've never had enough courage to actually wait until the line picked up. I've even written a few letters but I've never had a chance to mail them. I haven't given myself a chance to mail them in all honestly. I'm scared out of my mind too.

I'm not sure how they'll respond.

I'm not sure I want to find that out either.

But I have too. I do, for Rory's sake.

That's it Lorelai, do it for your daughter. She deserves to know her grandparents. I know they'll adore her. Or at least they'd better. We wouldn't go back if they didn't.

I couldn't put her through the same thing that I endured as a child. She shouldn't have to go through their bitterness and distain. I'll keep that from happening if it kills me.

She's my world; I'd do anything to protect her.

You'd do the same though, Maddie, wouldn't you? That is what I thought.

She keeps me so grounded. She's the smartest thing around, I swear. She's going to be the next…big shot. I'm not sure who'll she want to be. I'll make sure she has the chance to become whatever she wants though. It's totally her decision.

Okay, I'm about to admit something Maddie that I'm not sure is a good idea, but you've always been good at keeping secrets for me before, so I'm not going to doubt you now. That wouldn't be fair, would it?

No, I didn't think so.

Okay, but on to the big secret.

I miss Luke.

I know, I know, it's a stop the presses moment. I Lorelai Victoria Gilmore miss one Lucas William Danes.

And I'm not sure why.

I mean, I know why, I suppose. He's become a good friend and he makes one damn good cup of coffee. He's a lot more laid back than Liz; it's almost easier to get along with him than his younger sister. And he is very handy; he's been helping us out at the house so much lately. Him and William both, they've been great.

God, it sounds like I'm in love with him. I swear to you on a pile of coffee beans, I'm really not. I just haven't had a friend like him in a long time. I feel bad saying that, Liz was my friend long before Luke and I started getting along, but I'm so much closer to him now. Is that horrible Maddie? It feels horrible.

He's supposed to be getting back from California in the next couple days and I'm so glad. I'm going to make him come over, brew me a pot of coffee, and fix the window in my bedroom. It's a great plan.

I hope that all their wedding plans are falling into place. I know Kara was excited about it. Luke too, of course. I mean, who wouldn't be excited about their own wedding?

Even if their fiancé was a complete…no, Lorelai stop, you have no right judging Kara. Even if I wanted to. I mean, Luke loves her, obviously or he wouldn't have proposed to her, right? I'm talking myself around in circles here Maddie and I, for some reason, can't stop.

I have to stop this. I need to go on a real date. Maybe that will help me figure out and redirect my feelings towards Luke. He is just a friend.

My best friend.

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"But Luke," Kara whimpered, "You haven't even had a chance to get settled out here or really plan anything and now you have to go back already? It's not fair."

"Kara," Luke argued, "I've been out here for almost two weeks already. I have to get home and back to work. My dad is counting on me."

"But…"

"And I don't need to get settled out here," he reminded her, "because when we're married we'll be moving back east anyways. Right?"

"Well…"

"Kara," Luke interrupted her, "We are not doing this again, are we?"

"Please Luke," Kara begged, "Please, please, please! We could build such a great life out here. Don't you think we could build a life here?"

"We can build a life anywhere Kara," Luke informed her. "I can't leave my dad with the store. He needs my help."

"But," Kara started again and Luke rubbed the back of his head anxiously. Kara stopped herself and nodded, "Okay. You're right Luke, I'm sorry. We've already decided to move back to Connecticut after the wedding, I'm sorry to keep arguing it."

Luke sighed and looked into the eyes of his fiancé before shrugging, "it's okay. Now, come hug me and send me on the plane. I need to get home. You'll be visiting later this month though, right"

"Of course," Kara beamed throwing her arms around his neck. "I'll call you as soon as I book my ticket. I love you Luke."

"Love you too Kara," Luke kissed her briefly before boarding his plane. Kara waited until the plane was out of sight before going to find her car and start a new phase of planning.

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Luke was not one for flying, never had been, and the turbulence the plane was feeling had started to affect his stomach. The Captain had just announced that they were going to land on time and Luke hoped that his dad or Lorelai had remembered to come pick him up.

He gripped the side of his seat until his knuckles began to turn white as he felt the plane start to get lower and lower into the sky. It wasn't until the plane had fully stopped did he relax all the way.

He gave himself several minutes before trying to stand and gathered his carry on bag and headed into the terminal.

It wasn't long before two little arms wrapped themselves around his leg.

"Luke," Rory greeted happily, "You're home!"

"I sure am princess," he answered picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder playfully. "Did you miss me?"

Rory nodded enthusiastically, "I did, a lot. Jess did too, though he said I was supposed to keep that a secret. He says it isn't good for a boy to miss his uncle and admit it. I think he's silly for thinking that. Don't you?"

"I sure do," Luke agreed and then looked around looking for the older version of the girl he held in his arms. "Hey, where is your mother?"

"I'm right here," Lorelai's voice answered from behind him and he turned to meet the piercing blue eyes his friend smiled with. "Welcome back stranger."

"Thanks," Luke answered trying to ignore the butterflies that swarmed in his stomach. "It's good to be home."

"William says he's sorry he wasn't able to come himself," Lorelai started and Luke just shrugged, "he really wanted to."

"I know," Luke assured her, "the store keeps him busy. How is he doing? Does he seem okay?"

Lorelai glanced at Rory and gave him the 'I'll tell you later' look that worried Luke. She flashed a bright smile to try and cover it up and took his carry on into one arm and his empty arm in the other.

"Come on Danes," she drawled, "let's get your bags and get out of here."

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"He's gotten so much weaker," Lorelai said quietly has she and Luke sat on their porch in the early evening light and brought the bottle of beer to her lips. "He's trying to cover it up, but I can tell. He gets tired so quickly. I'm sure you've noticed…"

Luke nodded, "tonight even. I wish I knew what was wrong with him though. He's refusing to go to the doctor. He says he is fine. What am I going to do?"

"Maybe he is fine," Lorelai offered with a shrug, "I mean…"

"I know what you mean," Luke agreed, "but something in my gut says that it isn't fine. I wish I could shake this feeling."

"You'll know I'll stand with you guys no matter what," Lorelai assured him and Luke nodded, "you're the only family I have."

"Lorelai, have you thought about getting in touch with your parents?"

She nodded and Luke looked at her expectantly and she sighed, "I promised myself that I would contact them by Rory's fifth birthday."

"And that is…what next month?"

"October eighth," Lorelai choked, "I'm scared."

"Why?"

"They weren't thrilled when I told them I was pregnant," Lorelai explained, "they really weren't thrilled when I decided not to marry her father, or when I ran away from home and wouldn't come back. They aren't very, oh what is the word…welcoming? I just don't want them to take it out on Rory, all my mistakes I mean. I have a feeling they'll hold it against her."

"But maybe they won't," Luke countered, "you have to give them a chance. She deserves to know her grandparents."

"I know," Lorelai groaned, "And I won't go back on this promise. I swear. By her birthday I'll have contacted them with the choice to have us over for dinner or something. I guess we'll see."

Luke patted her knee and smiled, "good girl."

"Okay father," Lorelai joked and Luke shook his head with a laugh.

"I'm just saying that is a good idea," Luke said, "come on. I'm going to go, I'm opening for dad in the morning."

"Bye Luke," Lorelai waved, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye and thanks again for the lift from the airport."

Lorelai only nodded and watched as Luke walked down the driveway and back towards town. Lorelai sat quietly for a few minutes before heading up the stairs and too her room. Sinking down on her bed she picked up the book on her bedside table.

I'm in way over my head here.

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A/N: So…what did you think? You know the drill, leave a review and get an update! I hope ya'll are still reading…