A/N: Wow…the response from the last chapter was completely overwhelming. I shocked some people. I didn't realize that was going to happen. I mean, you couldn't really think that I'd let Luke out of the marriage himself so he could go straight to Lorelai, did you? Things aren't that easy. Well, I hope you like this new chapter…well; you probably won't to be honest. But, I'll stop now and just let you read. Enjoy and review!

Disclaimer: I have no ownership to GG. Sad.

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December 24, 1989

Christmas Eve morning

It's Christmas Eve. Things around here though don't seem very festive. It's very gloomy around here. William, especially, is very un-Christmas-y. I guess that has to do with the disappearance of the son though Maddie. Yeah, you heard me right; he's still not back in town yet.

I'm worried about him.

Besides a simple, 'yeah, I'm alive' call to William we really haven't heard from him. I'm not even sure where he is. I hate not knowing that he's okay. Or even knowing that he isn't okay would be better that not knowing anything at all. Don't you think?

I can't help it…it's been almost two weeks. I know that Kara hurt him, but…but...but I want him here, with us. It's Christmas for crying out loud and he wasn't around last year at this time. I want to ask William about it, but I don't know if I can. He's pretty upset. Granted, he hasn't heard much from his son in the last few weeks…but it seems more than that.

There is something wrong with him. I just know it. I have this horrible feeling in my gut that something isn't right. Luke and I have noticed it before, in glimpses, but lately…lately I can tell that whatever it is…it's getting worse. He needs Luke here.

I need Luke here.

If anything happens to William, I'm not sure what I would do. He's become such a big part of my life, and Rory's life. She'd be crushed.

We've got a busy day ahead of us though. The kids really don't know what is going on. Rory and Jess I mean. They just know it is Christmas and want it to be like normal. Liz, William, and I know have the job to make it seem like nothing is wrong.

Good thing I'm a great faker. I have a feeling this Christmas isn't going to be a merry one at all.

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Luke groaned as the sunshine filtered through the drapes and he buried his head farther into the pillow to try and offset the hangover that was settling in. The room smelt of stale beer and pizza and that alone made Luke want to gag.

He was a mess.

He tried to remember what day it was, but his memory was fuzzy with the strands of alcohol still swimming in his system. Luke couldn't remember how many beers he'd been through now, he only knew that was the only thing he'd been drinking.

He took a deep breath in and started to gag again. The smell was almost more than he could take. When Luke lifted his head he noticed the glass of ice water and a bottle of aspirin sitting on the night stand and he sent up a silent prayer of thanks.

Taking three of the pills and washing them down with a quick swig of water, Luke leaned back against the headboard again and sighed. He knew it was about time for him to face home. It wasn't what he wanted, hell, it was the worst possible thing to him, but he knew he had wallowed enough.

It was time for him to suck it up and be a man.

He stumbled towards the bathroom, one just for the room he was staying in and said another set of thanks for the clean towels and jeans that were sitting on the counter. Stepping under the stream of water he rinsed himself of the grim and tried to remove the memories, though that didn't seem to work.

Every time he closed his eyes he saw her eyes, glistening with tears, and heard the whispers that echoed through the church that day. He could remember every detail and it haunted his dreams.

Unless, of course, he was passed out from drinking. That is why beer had been his consistent companion over the last couple of weeks.

Kara had left him. At the altar. On their wedding day. He didn't think he'd ever forget that.

When he finally shut the water off he had started to feel better. At least physically.

Coming out of the bathroom he had to smile some when he noticed the beer bottles from the night before were gone and a cup of hot tea sat next to a plate of chocolate chip pancakes and bacon on the nightstand now. He smiled to himself and sat down on the bed, and poked at the pancakes.

It was his hangover food. Had been for a long time. Chocolate chip pancakes.

He remembered the first time he'd gotten drunk and the memory made him laugh. He couldn't help it. He took another bite and let himself think of happier times.

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December 24, 1989

Christmas Eve Night

The town was great today. It made the faking a lot easier to deal with. It was still an awkward day though. I think it may be awkward until he comes back.

I'm scared Maddie. I'm scared he won't come back.

I thought he would have come here. Home. But he didn't. He ran away to someplace else. Now I know why he didn't come back here though.

It was supposed to be their house right now.

I didn't know. I had no idea. And I feel like an even bigger ass right now.

I was relieved when they didn't get married. When she walked away. And yes, I know how horrible that is. Trust me, I know. But, I couldn't help it, still can't. I'm glad he didn't marry her. That, I'm sure Maddie, sounds horrible, but, can I help it if that is how I feel.

I want him to come back.

I need him to come back.

Wow, I sound pathetic. Maybe, maybe it's because of the season. I want a family to spend Christmas with. I want Rory to have a dad she can actually count on. I want to wake up in the morning to her jumping on our bed begging us to open presents before dawn. I want it all.

Will I ever get that?

God I hope so.

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Another day was starting, Luke could feel the rays of sunshine before he even opened his eyes. It was weird. Here he was, in the middle of December, and it was uncommonly warm out. He didn't understand that, until his brain caught up.

He wasn't at home.

That made more sense. He was sure it was probably snowing today at home. He wondered what his family was up to. When he opened his eyes he couldn't help but squint. The room was decorated in red and green and Luke didn't believe it.

It was Christmas.

He couldn't believe he forgot. Then, he wished he could again. Today was the day he was going to show Kara the house he'd been working on for them on the outskirts of Stars Hollow. The house they were supposed to start their family in.

And now, that dream was gone.

If he was close enough, he'd probably burn the house to the ground. That is what he wanted to do anyways. He'd never live there now.

He couldn't.

He glanced at the clock and it brightly shone nine thirty am. Luke swung his feet over the side of the bed, downed an aspirin and some water before making his way to the shower. It was a routine now. Something they'd both gotten used to, and Luke was thankful for the ability to not think.

Sometimes it was nice to have someone think for you. Especially when they don't know the memories that run on a consistent reel in your head.

Luke let the water run over his face and shook his head.

He knew he should call his family. Let them know again that he is still alive and safe and just working through some things. It wouldn't be a bad idea. He closed his eyes and let himself think about what the family Christmas morning was looking like.

Lorelai and Rory, he could almost guarantee, had spent the night last night, Rory and Jess trying hard to stay up to wait for Santa. This morning his dad would have made a big breakfast, something he normally helped with, before allowing the presents to be opened.

His heart pained to be there, almost enough for him to rush home now, but then his imagination continued. Kara was sitting with him on the love seat, glowing, and happily talking to Lorelai and Liz. Her diamond wedding ring sparkling brightly from her finger.

He stepped out of the shower and smelled the pastry that would be sitting on the table with the herbal tea he drinks. He smiled.

This morning there was just one thing different though. A note accompanied his breakfast.

It was simple.

Merry Christmas. You're welcome to come to dinner with us if you like. If not, I'll drop dinner by later. I'm here to talk if you want, I hope you know that. If not, whatever. Though, you should know, you're going to have to talk about it sometime. Love ya. Your genie.

He wouldn't go. He knew he couldn't. How could he impose even more than he already had? He knew he couldn't. To impose on their Christmas dinner would just be too much. He couldn't do that.

Even if he didn't want to be alone.

He fingered the note with a sad smile. Nobody wants to be alone on Christmas and yet here he is. Alone.

Luke polished off the rest of his breakfast before slipping on his shoes and out the door. Maybe some fresh air would help him.

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December 25, 1989

Christmas Day

Thank god for William. He made today great. Rory and Jess were fawned over of course and everyone loved their gifts. I just wish Luke could have been here to get his presents too.

I'm so tired though. I can't keep my eyes open anymore so I'm going to have to get some sleep. Christmas day is always a tiring event. And being emotionally drained doesn't help. Rory was really great today.

Though, she really always is. I have an angel. That isn't a big surprise though. I mean, she's always been the little angel in my life. She's a very smart little girl, that is for sure.

Well, I'm going to sleep. Dreamland is calling.

I just have to keep hoping that Luke is okay. I'm sure he is. Or at least, he will be. I'm sure of it. I still…I wish I knew where he was.

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Disclaimer: I'm afraid to even put something here to be honest. But…review? Please? I'd love to see though, if anyone can guess where and with whom Luke is...I'll give MAJOR props if anyone does, that is for sure. :)